Last weekend I wrote a "good bye" mail to a woman I was in the process of getting to know. It was not the first such mail I sent out, and I have received my fair share of "dear John" letters myself. And then I began thinking: the position I am in – and get into every once in a while – must be one that you experience just as well, off and on. It cannot be me only, who discovers that a prospective mail partner I found so great in the beginning, is really anything but.
So you and I have one thing in common: we hate to waste our time communicating with people we know we will never be able to establish a true connection with. Because a "true connection" by mail is what you and I search for. Or a more or less "perfect resonance", as I call it.
And rather than putting up with a "half resonance", which is not a bad way of passing one's time either, both you and I rather suffer our same old voids again – for only a while longer, as we hope – because if and when we invest our mental and emotional energies into a virtual relationship, it better be one we feel totally right aboutd, and not just half-right.
Nothing really all that unusual, when we come to think of it. I used to be terribly down-trodden and mightily unhappy before, when I had discovered that "new partner number N" was again not right for me. And I asked myself, what may be wrong with me perhaps. Instead of just simply accepting that hardly any woman is capable of resonating with me, in more or less perfect fashion.
And that something like this - if it happens at all - will happen only rarely. Also the other way around. The woman who wrote me once that in me she had found her "needle in the hay stack", discovered most likely that a man like me, who does not savor fucking a tight pussy all the time, is not what she really wanted. So why should she not have felt like sending me a dear John letter?
I believe that the key to avoiding much time "wasted" on getting to know the wrong partner, is to know beforehand, what you and I want from one another. I have tried to describe that in my first signature post. If you have not written down a similar set of notes yet, I suggest you to it right now.
But unfortunately that is only less than "half the rent", as they say in my native tongue. More important, I feel, is for you and I estimating, how high the chances are that the two of us can ever reach our dreams and targets together. I do not necessarily need a blue-eyed woman for this, or one with a certain size of tits, but I do need one with a curious mind, an open personality, and most of all, a woman who has a heart and a soul.
And one of the most significant indicators for this I know is empathy. Empathy which can be felt out of your mails to me. When I share with you something that moves my mind, or my heart, and I see that you couldn't care less about it, that does not go over well with me. And when that happens a few times in a row, I usually throw in the towel.
Of course you can count on me behaving likewise. Nothing I desire to "get from you" is something I won't offer you in return, be that erotic banter, or empathy, or emotional support in a difficult situation you may be in, or intellectual conversations.
Or just simply quick responses to your mails. I understand fully well that once you have offered me a thought of yours in a mail, you like to hear my reaction to that; not next week but as soon as practical. Exchanging mails with one another should also carry with it an appropriate priority. Should you prefer to go shopping for Christmas gifts first, before you reply to a question I find significant, you'd have to know that my perception of you will not become better this way.
The most important thing we must both be aware of, I believe, is that perfection of a partner is a goal we should never even contemplate. such a goal would be elusive. And totally useless to boot. What you and I search for is a human being as a mail partner, with highly human traits. And "human" always includes non-perfectness. What is important to each of us are different factors, some of them I mentioned in this ad.
Now all I can hope for is that for YOU, of all people in the world, today will be a day you got reminded again of all the voids in your life that you wished did not exist. And that you then decided to read the Personals ads here on Lit once more, because you hoped that maybe today may be your lucky day. And that you then got stuck on reading my ad.
So you and I have one thing in common: we hate to waste our time communicating with people we know we will never be able to establish a true connection with. Because a "true connection" by mail is what you and I search for. Or a more or less "perfect resonance", as I call it.
And rather than putting up with a "half resonance", which is not a bad way of passing one's time either, both you and I rather suffer our same old voids again – for only a while longer, as we hope – because if and when we invest our mental and emotional energies into a virtual relationship, it better be one we feel totally right aboutd, and not just half-right.
Nothing really all that unusual, when we come to think of it. I used to be terribly down-trodden and mightily unhappy before, when I had discovered that "new partner number N" was again not right for me. And I asked myself, what may be wrong with me perhaps. Instead of just simply accepting that hardly any woman is capable of resonating with me, in more or less perfect fashion.
And that something like this - if it happens at all - will happen only rarely. Also the other way around. The woman who wrote me once that in me she had found her "needle in the hay stack", discovered most likely that a man like me, who does not savor fucking a tight pussy all the time, is not what she really wanted. So why should she not have felt like sending me a dear John letter?
I believe that the key to avoiding much time "wasted" on getting to know the wrong partner, is to know beforehand, what you and I want from one another. I have tried to describe that in my first signature post. If you have not written down a similar set of notes yet, I suggest you to it right now.
But unfortunately that is only less than "half the rent", as they say in my native tongue. More important, I feel, is for you and I estimating, how high the chances are that the two of us can ever reach our dreams and targets together. I do not necessarily need a blue-eyed woman for this, or one with a certain size of tits, but I do need one with a curious mind, an open personality, and most of all, a woman who has a heart and a soul.
And one of the most significant indicators for this I know is empathy. Empathy which can be felt out of your mails to me. When I share with you something that moves my mind, or my heart, and I see that you couldn't care less about it, that does not go over well with me. And when that happens a few times in a row, I usually throw in the towel.
Of course you can count on me behaving likewise. Nothing I desire to "get from you" is something I won't offer you in return, be that erotic banter, or empathy, or emotional support in a difficult situation you may be in, or intellectual conversations.
Or just simply quick responses to your mails. I understand fully well that once you have offered me a thought of yours in a mail, you like to hear my reaction to that; not next week but as soon as practical. Exchanging mails with one another should also carry with it an appropriate priority. Should you prefer to go shopping for Christmas gifts first, before you reply to a question I find significant, you'd have to know that my perception of you will not become better this way.
The most important thing we must both be aware of, I believe, is that perfection of a partner is a goal we should never even contemplate. such a goal would be elusive. And totally useless to boot. What you and I search for is a human being as a mail partner, with highly human traits. And "human" always includes non-perfectness. What is important to each of us are different factors, some of them I mentioned in this ad.
Now all I can hope for is that for YOU, of all people in the world, today will be a day you got reminded again of all the voids in your life that you wished did not exist. And that you then decided to read the Personals ads here on Lit once more, because you hoped that maybe today may be your lucky day. And that you then got stuck on reading my ad.
