More real-world fun = less interest in writing?

[Yarglenurp]

So, I’ve been going through a ”lucky” streak lately with my partner, who’s been more willing to play than traditionally expected. This is 100% great, but has pretty much killed any interest I had in writing more stories. My sentiment is that, sure, I could write, but I could also use that time to enjoy my partner.

Anyone ever experience the same thing?

 

[Agent0069]

The most famous authors of the past (and I’m not talking about erotica writers) were deeply unhappy and often isolated from the society. So yeah, maybe that’s the key. Then again, it’s perfectly fine to take a break once in a while - from any hobby, whatever it might be.

 

[StillStunned]

I find that writing is good for my sex life. I read my stories to my wife, and it's a great way for us to get our motors running at the same time.

 

[gunhilltrain]

So, I’ve been going through a ”lucky” streak lately with my partner, who’s been more willing to play than traditionally expected. This is 100% great, but has pretty much killed any interest I had in writing more stories. My sentiment is that, sure, I could write, but I could also use that time to enjoy my partner.

Anyone ever experience the same thing?

Write a non-erotic (or at least a not explicit) story. Try writing non-fiction. They'll take it on Lit as long as it isn't too heavily political or religious. Everybody has memoirs that are worth exploring. I put them here because I don't feel like joining yet another site just for that.

Don't get hemmed in by preconceptions based on what you've already done here.

 

[stickygirl]

I wrote some of my best stuff during covid, when I didn't have a partner.
Being happy and having regular sex is the death of creativity

 

[Mastered_again]

Nothing wrong with taking a break. After taking the past winter off, I published three stories in the spring, then took the summer off. Started a new story recently and will submit it another week or so. Having some time away from writing helps and lets stories simmer on the back burner. I don't start writing until I have something to work with.
The breaks tend to happen when our social schedule gets busy - holidays or lots of outdoor events in the summer with my music junky old man.
It's nice to put the pen down from time to time.

 

[Britva415]

So, I’ve been going through a ”lucky” streak lately with my partner, who’s been more willing to play than traditionally expected. This is 100% great, but has pretty much killed any interest I had in writing more stories. My sentiment is that, sure, I could write, but I could also use that time to enjoy my partner.

Anyone ever experience the same thing?

I started writing after my spouse came out as asexual. The marriage had already been sexless but this was a real nail in that coffin.

Then I stopped writing when we opened the marriage so I would have other outlets.

 

[THBGato]

Writing is a selfish activity, so yes of course spending time with your partner/family will eat into your writing time. However, there is a way to do both...

Get rid of your TV.

I haven't had one since 1999. It's amazing how much time you'll get back for other activities if you do.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Weirdly I find that I write more when I'm (relatively) busy. I've just come off a long summer where I had oodles of time to write and probably produced less than 3k words in about two months. Now that my job is ramping up again, I produced 2k words yesterday. I think my writing is an escape from work. And if there's no work I don't need to escape.

 

[mrs_mackenzie]

I use writing as a way of passing the time, so I write less when I'm busy and more when I'm not. I don't find that having more or less sex affects this hugely, I think.

 

[stickygirl]

I use writing as a way of passing the time, so I write less when I'm busy and more when I'm not. I don't find that having more or less sex affects this hugely, I think.

More ink blots when you write during sex
( assuming you're a real author with a fountain pen, not a biro )

 

[SimonDoom]

Hmmm. I was having a LOT more sex before I started writing erotica. I prefer not to think too hard about this.

 

[Yarglenurp]

So, the consensus appears to be that more sexy fun time means less writing.

Well, here’s hoping I never write again… I’ll hold a wake for my characters.

 

[AllenWoody]

Writing is a selfish activity, so yes of course spending time with your partner/family will eat into your writing time. However, there is a way to do both...

Get rid of your TV.

I haven't had one since 1999. It's amazing how much time you'll get back for other activities if you do.

I still have a TV #BecauseVideoGames, and there are a few shows I’ll watch, mostly on streaming. But I agree that the idea that watching television is a thing one does apart from a specific show or purpose is an incredible waste of time. I remember scrolling through channels for fifteen minutes at a time until it was too late to watching anything that had already started. I mean, I’d be up in the “Arabic Music Videos” section of the cable guide. Nothing against Arabic music videos, but that was what drove the epiphany that there was nothing on TV that I really wanted to watch, it was just this thing I thought I was supposed to do.

 

[MyBareTorso]

My shenanigans inspire me, so I'm always writing...plus, I write while I'm on public transport to pass the time, so it doesn't matter how busy I am. Unfortunately, you can't have sex on public transport in Australia, as far as I know...

 

[StillStunned]

My shenanigans inspire me, so I'm always writing...plus, I write while I'm on public transport to pass the time, so it doesn't matter how busy I am. Unfortunately, you can't have sex on public transport in Australia, as far as I know...

I have a story set on a crowded tram in Amsterdam. Slightly implausible, but not entirely impossible.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

My shenanigans inspire me, so I'm always writing...plus, I write while I'm on public transport to pass the time, so it doesn't matter how busy I am. Unfortunately, you can't have sex on public transport in Australia, as far as I know...

ObEnglishTeacher: You *can*, but you *may* not!

Do they not have toilets on Australian trains? I remember when Bluetooth was a new exciting technology and the newspapers claimed this had enabled a new sexual practice called 'toothing', which I didn't believe until I sat next to a woman who indeed found a guy within range, they made eye contact, he went off to the loo, she went and joined him, and they returned to their seats 20 minutes later.

They have CCTV in tube trains now, so shenanigans on those is no longer feasible.

 

[TheRedChamber]

ObEnglishTeacher: You *can*, but you *may* not!

Do they not have toilets on Australian trains? I remember when Bluetooth was a new exciting technology and the newspapers claimed this had enabled a new sexual practice called 'toothing', which I didn't believe until I sat next to a woman who indeed found a guy within range, they made eye contact, he went off to the loo, she went and joined him, and they returned to their seats 20 minutes later.

They have CCTV in tube trains now, so shenanigans on those is no longer feasible.

Sometimes, Kumquat, I wonder if the Internet connects not only the whole world but also the whole multiverse.

You existing in a place where that sort of thing happens.
And me existing in a place where it does not.

Also twenty minutes? If ever there was an encouter you wanted a three-minute man for, it would surely be this one...

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Sometimes, Kumquat, I wonder if the Internet connects not only the whole world but also the whole multiverse.

Nothing to do with this thread, but I'm actually about to introduce that as a story element ....

 

[Cagivagurl]

Humans...
We are multifaceted creatures.
We don't exist for simply one thing.
Most people have many and varied interests. Family, life, work, entertainment, hobbies...
@THBGato, mentioned that writing is a selfish pleasure....
I agree entirely.
I think it can also be addictive. I sometimes go through phases where it's all I think about.
Plots, characters keep evolving in my head and I simply need to write, capture those thoughts and ideas when the emerge, because if you go to sleep while they're inside, by morning. They'll be gone forever.
Hobbies, pass times, creative outlets. Call them what you will. My creative outlet is music and song writing. It is way beyond passion, it lives on the edge of obsession. Writing, although I don't consider myself a writer... Writing can be that way. Ideas pour out of you, and you fall into the story you're creating. Become part of the narrative.
I call that (In the zone) When it happens, everything else ceases to exist...
I love that phase, although afterwards, I feel guilty...

Ah well...

Cagivagurl

 

[ElectricBlue]

Do they not have toilets on Australian trains?

Not suburban trains. Regional and intercity, yes. In my university days, my greatest travel treat was an overnight sleeper out of Sydney up north, my girlfriend and I in the lower bunk. Slow train, slow sex, and a cup of tea from the steward in the morning. That's decadence, when you're twenty-one.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

You existing in a place where that sort of thing happens.
And me existing in a place where it does not.

Also twenty minutes? If ever there was an encouter you wanted a three-minute man for, it would surely be this one...

Maybe it's just that I'm the sort of person who looks? And notices?
I'm certainly the kind of person people start telling me their life's story, given half a chance.

Given inter-city train wobbliness, I think you'd need three minutes just to remove relevant clothing. And a bit of negotiation and convincing yourself the other isn't a murderer or whatever. Might well need most of twenty minutes for a middle-aged chap to gear up and do the deed!

It's not like intercity train rides are that entertaining. I think it was between Reading and Coventry...

 

[TheRedChamber]

Maybe it's just that I'm the sort of person who looks? And notices?

And imagines?
No, I've done Reading to Coventry and a) I'd definitely be trying to avoid eye-contact with the inhabitants of the train and b) on reflection, your claims are by no means impossibe.

I'm certainly the kind of person people start telling me their life's story, given half a chance.

When I say I've done the Reading to Coventry line, I was working as a telecoms engineer for a big firm in the area. I was still single and I'd moved down into a bed-and-breakfast connected to a pub in the local area...

Given inter-city train wobbliness, I think you'd need three minutes just to remove relevant clothing. And a bit of negotiation and convincing yourself the other isn't a murderer or whatever. Might well need most of twenty minutes for a middle-aged chap to gear up and do the deed!

Okay, I'm fascinated. You're an writer of erotica - how do you imagine that negotiation went?

 

[Yarglenurp]

Maybe it's just that I'm the sort of person who looks? And notices?
I'm certainly the kind of person people start telling me their life's story, given half a chance.

Given inter-city train wobbliness, I think you'd need three minutes just to remove relevant clothing. And a bit of negotiation and convincing yourself the other isn't a murderer or whatever. Might well need most of twenty minutes for a middle-aged chap to gear up and do the deed!

It's not like intercity train rides are that entertaining. I think it was between Reading and Coventry...

My guess about the negotiating/convincing part is that, in the early days of Bluetooth, only rich well-groomed dudes would have it, so rich + attractive was probably enough of a qualifier for the type of woman who would be willing to have sex in public with a stranger. These days… not so much. I doubt my Temu-bought earphone is going to be so impressive.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

And imagines?
No, I've done Reading to Coventry and a) I'd definitely be trying to avoid eye-contact with the inhabitants of the train and b) on reflection, your claims are by no means impossibe.

I wouldn't have particularly noticed or remembered, only after bloke and woman went off in the same direction, she eventually returned, somewhat pink and dishevelled. And I needed the loo so headed there, only to find the guy was still in it and even more embarrassed when he emerged!

They may have known each other, who knows?

When I say I've done the Reading to Coventry line, I was working as a telecoms engineer for a big firm in the area. I was still single and I'd moved down into a bed-and-breakfast connected to a pub in the local area...

A big business next to what's now Warwick Parkway station?

Okay, I'm fascinated. You're an writer of erotica - how do you imagine that negotiation went?

Mainstream heterosexuals aren't my forte! I imagine they'd confirm identities on some dating site or other and match, as a kind of insurance that the other had a traceable real-world identity and thus wouldn't mug or murder them. Both would swear blind they didn't normally do this sort of thing, he'd tell her she was beautiful and he would be honoured if she would spare him some time, and then they'd be silently at it like rabbits. Those grab rails would be mighty handy...

There must be people here who have used the more hook-up end of dating apps? I haven't. A gay mate does, but all he'll tell me is "A guy turns up. We fuck. He leaves. End of." I suspect not much conversation happens there, at all.