Mom

[zeldamaster17]

I think this goes here, and I'm really embarrassed to admit to this, but I have been extremely sexually attracted to my mom for years. I know this is the only place it would be accepted, so I was just wondering-could anyone tell me how to make this a reality? Just some tips or something, if you tell me I'm an idiot or disgusting I'm reporting you. Fair warning.

 

[SweetErika]

I think this goes here, and I'm really embarrassed to admit to this, but I have been extremely sexually attracted to my mom for years. I know this is the only place it would be accepted, so I was just wondering-could anyone tell me how to make this a reality? Just some tips or something, if you tell me I'm an idiot or disgusting I'm reporting you. Fair warning.

If you take a few minutes to observe, you'll notice we give honest, reality-based advice here. We're not here to validate your ideas or help you destroy your relationships (which is exactly what will happen if you make a move on your mother).

Second, if you had actually read the rules when you signed up, you'd know this is a free speech site. With very few exceptions (e.g. posting personal info, spam or threats), that means we can say anything we want, and so can you. So people telling you you're a disgusting idiot isn't a reportable offense.

If you want to talk about your incest fantasies, there's a thread called "Incest is Best" in the Playground, IIRC. You'll probably get some of the validation you're seeking there.

 

[Eilan]

At least the OP has been quoted for posterity.

 

[zeldamaster17]

Um. Sure. I'll post there. But a little growing up is necessary with you. I'm not looking for validation. I've validated myself and see nothing wrong with it therefore I am looking for advice on how to make it happen. Maybe you could be a little nicer, perhaps? *rolls eyes* later.

 

[Christopher2012]

Well, there are two things for sure.

#1. There is very VERY little chance that your mom feels the same way about you. The chance is almost infinitely small.

#2. If she doesn't already feel sexually attracted to you, then there is a much smaller chance that you could convince her to "try" anything.

Your best bet is just dating older women.

 

[zeldamaster17]

But that's definetely NOT the same, Christopher. I can sure as hell still try, can't I? But seriously, I'm not looking for statistics. I've totally accepted them and I'm just looking for tips on how I can.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Don't listen to these naysayers, zeldamaster17, I've had your mother and she's fantastic! Well worth the effort to get your funk on and show her your moves! Of course, I'm certain that I've ruined her for any other man, so don't be surprised if she declines your advances. But what the hell, nothing ventured, nothing laid, right? Be sure to report back with your progress.

 

[Setanta84]

My dear friend, Christmas is almost upon us. That is the time to strike, er, "woo" your mother. Remember, women LOVE attention. They crave it, like they crave earning equal pay for equal work. If I were you, I'd invest in a mistletoe and propose indulging in the custom associated with it in the most conspicuous way possible when you two are around a particularly large number of friends and relatives. The larger the audience, the more likely she is to go mad with desire when you make your intentions clear.

Also, don't fret if she appears to panic or spurn your advances. The more harsh and flustered the decline. the more likely it is that it's really a pleading "OH, GOD, SONNY, TAKE ME HERE NOW" in disguise.

 

[zeldamaster17]

Ignoring nipplemuncher...

Thanks setanta, I might take a little bit of that. Perhaps not in front of my family. Really up tight, you know. And I've walked in on my mom and her boyfriend several times so I have that to my advantage. Grassy ass! (gracias)

 

[NippleMuncher]

Ignoring nipplemuncher...

If you want to ignore the voice of reason, so be it. More for me!

 

[SweetErika]

Um. Sure. I'll post there. But a little growing up is necessary with you. I'm not looking for validation. I've validated myself and see nothing wrong with it therefore I am looking for advice on how to make it happen. Maybe you could be a little nicer, perhaps? *rolls eyes* later.

The fact that you see nothing wrong with taking your fantasy to reality says YOU have a vast amount of growing up to do. Being able to evaluate a situation rationally is a sign of maturity.

I gave you reality. If you feel my portrayal of said reality wasn't nice enough, you probably belong in the fluffy, uber-sweetness that is the Playground. Enjoy your experience with ridiculously long sigs and people telling you what you want to hear, even when it's really bad advice.

 

[coolpapabell22]

Ignoring nipplemuncher...

Thanks setanta, I might take a little bit of that. Perhaps not in front of my family. Really up tight, you know. And I've walked in on my mom and her boyfriend several times so I have that to my advantage. Grassy ass! (gracias)

Dear god man. Don't make a move on any woman until you learn what sarcasm is. I know it's hard to detect on the internet, but come on....

 

[NippleMuncher]

Dear god man. Don't make a move on any woman until you learn what sarcasm is. I know it's hard to detect on the internet, but come on....

There is no possible way that there is any sarcasm in this thread!

 

[old_scratch]

I think this goes here, and I'm really embarrassed to admit to this, but I have been extremely sexually attracted to my mom for years. I know this is the only place it would be accepted, so I was just wondering-could anyone tell me how to make this a reality? Just some tips or something, if you tell me I'm an idiot or disgusting I'm reporting you. Fair warning.

Be bold! March right into her bedroom with your dick in your hand, and in a strong, Masterful voice command her: “Drop Your Linen and Start Grinning, Big Daddy is Back in Town”!

Then pick yourself up off the floor, and come back and tell us how that worked out for you. I need a good laugh.... LOL

Ain’t gonna happen Scooter! Sex with mom is a fairy tale.

Find yourself a nice, tight 18 year old while you are still young enough to find one.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Um. Sure. I'll post there. But a little growing up is necessary with you. I'm not looking for validation. I've validated myself and see nothing wrong with it therefore I am looking for advice on how to make it happen. Maybe you could be a little nicer, perhaps? *rolls eyes* later.

Unfortunately, HT can be a bunch of jerks sometimes... I'd recommend that you spend some quality time with your mom catching up, you know talking about what's going on in your lives and things like that. Talk about your girl troubles, or lack-of-girl troubles. Make sure that you share a bottle of wine while doing this. Now, your mother cares for you, so she'll feel bad that you haven't been getting any and this is when you lean in close, kiss her neck and whisper into her ear "Mother, remember where I came from? I want to go back". It should work flawlessly.

 

[Eilan]

And I've walked in on my mom and her boyfriend several times so I have that to my advantage.

And you didn't initiate a threesome? What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

[fgarvb1]

I'm torn between admonishing you jokers for treating this um, person like this...Laughing my ass off and wanting to yell at him for being another one of those FUCKTARD troublemakers we get around here hell, seems like a couple of dozens times a year.

So I'm going to back out of this thread forget the whole thing.

Hell.

 

[Christopher2012]

Unfortunately, HT can be a bunch of jerks sometimes... I'd recommend that you spend some quality time with your mom catching up, you know talking about what's going on in your lives and things like that. Talk about your girl troubles, or lack-of-girl troubles. Make sure that you share a bottle of wine while doing this. Now, your mother cares for you, so she'll feel bad that you haven't been getting any and this is when you lean in close, kiss her neck and whisper into her ear "Mother, remember where I came from? I want to go back". It should work flawlessly.

LOL Quite possibly the funniest/best post I've ever read.

 

[old_scratch]

I think this goes here, and I'm really embarrassed to admit to this, but I have been extremely sexually attracted to my mom for years. I know this is the only place it would be accepted, so I was just wondering-could anyone tell me how to make this a reality? Just some tips or something, if you tell me I'm an idiot or disgusting I'm reporting you. Fair warning.

She is your mother: treat her as such, and don't be a disappointment to her!

 

[Annabell4you]

LOL Quite possibly the funniest/best post I've ever read.

DITTO!

 

[NippleMuncher]

I think this goes here, and I'm really embarrassed to admit to this, but I have been extremely sexually attracted to my mom for years. I know this is the only place it would be accepted, so I was just wondering-could anyone tell me how to make this a reality? Just some tips or something, if you tell me I'm an idiot or disgusting I'm reporting you. Fair warning.

Please, PLEASE!!!!!! DON'T REPORT ME!!!!!


Ok, here is what you do. This Christmas, after dinner when she's leaned over the kitchen sink doing the dishes, walk in behind her and start massaging her shoulders. As she starts to melt, move down her back and start massaging her ass. When she begins to coo, gently lift her skirt, say "Merry Christmas" and slip it to her. If you're as quick as your posts indicate you are, you'll be done and out of the room before she knows what happened.

 

[SweetErika]

Please, PLEASE!!!!!! DON'T REPORT ME!!!!!


Ok, here is what you do. This Christmas, after dinner when she's leaned over the kitchen sink doing the dishes, walk in behind her and start massaging her shoulders. As she starts to melt, move down her back and start massaging her ass. When she begins to coo, gently lift her skirt, say "Merry Christmas" and slip it to her. If you're as quick as your posts indicate you are, you'll be done and out of the room before she knows what happened.

Absolutely! He'll fulfill his incestuous fantasy AND get to ring in the New Year than with rape charges.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Absolutely! He'll fulfill his incestuous fantasy AND get to ring in the New Year than with rape charges.

Is it technically rape if he fires his load before he get his pants unzipped?

 

[SweetErika]

Is it technically rape if he fires his load before he get his pants unzipped?

I didn't realize that's what you meant.

I'm sure a good case could be made for sexual harassment or something, though.

I have visions of a spectacular ass-kicking from her bf dancing through my head, too.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I didn't realize that's what you meant.

I'm sure a good case could be made for sexual harassment or something, though.

I have visions of a spectacular ass-kicking from her bf dancing through my head, too.

We can only hope.

Oh wait, this isn't helpful, we're supposed to be encouraging!