LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Moan, groan, scream!

carsonshepherd

carsonshepherd

comeback kid
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Posts
14,643
Oh my God, yes!

Oh yeah! Ahh, ahh, fuck me!

The moaning and the screaming work really well in some peoples' stories, so why do they sound so lame in mine? :(

What do the rest of your porn mongers do when you want to create a really intense feeling of immediacy in the moment? Sometimes it seems so clinical to just tell it:

Overwhelming pleasure flooded me as I screamed out my release...

But what better way is there to SHOW it without sounding like an idiot?
 
The best vocal characters I've created have been Elsie and Connor (see sig) who don't actually say that much, but for some reason I appear to have hit the right spot with the noises they make. Not entirely sure how.

Usually I don't use that much in the way of words when describing moans. It's more of a 'A long drawn-out groan escaped his mouth as she...' kind of thing.

The Earl
 
carsonshepherd said:
Oh my God, yes!

Oh yeah! Ahh, ahh, fuck me!

The moaning and the screaming work really well in some peoples' stories, so why do they sound so lame in mine? :(
Click to expand...

I don't much think they work well in any story, to be honest.
 
Carson, there is something about this in the writer's resources. I can't remember where exactly, but it is pretty good.
 
carsonshepherd said:
Oh my God, yes!

Oh yeah! Ahh, ahh, fuck me!

The moaning and the screaming work really well in some peoples' stories, so why do they sound so lame in mine? :(

What do the rest of your porn mongers do when you want to create a really intense feeling of immediacy in the moment? Sometimes it seems so clinical to just tell it:

Overwhelming pleasure flooded me as I screamed out my release...

But what better way is there to SHOW it without sounding like an idiot?
Click to expand...

I've had some vocal lovers. I'm rather loud myself, enough to bring the cops on one occasion :eek:

That said, tha vast majority of noise I make is totally incomprehensible. Moans, groans, whimpers, sighs, shrieks, sure. Dialogue? Not really.

It seems so lame because at the height of passion, the number of coherent lovers I have had is exactly zero. In my opinion, you create a strong paradox there. So uncontrolably intense I can't help but cry out, but at the same time my mind isn't so lost in it that I can remain coherent? About the only place I have encountered this is in porn flicks.

It can work I suppose, if the author has built the scene up to such a level that I am reading one handed and no longer have my whole mind focused on it, but usually it pulls me from a work.
 
I'm usually pretty quiet myself. Maybe just some panting and "Mming". But once in a great while I've gotten carried away enough to say something such as Oh yes, Fuck me! And I guess that's the moment I'm looking for - a spontaneous blurting out, without seeming like a porn flick.
 
Re: Re: Moan, groan, scream!

minsue said:
I don't much think they work well in any story, to be honest.
Click to expand...

I think they can work well, but you have to take into account context. If you're righting a long, romantic story and are trying to set the mood, then such lines might not fit well. Regardless of what happens in real life, stories are entities all their own.
 
Re: Re: Moan, groan, scream!

Colleen Thomas said:
I've had some vocal lovers. I'm rather loud myself, enough to bring the cops on one occasion :eek:

That said, tha vast majority of noise I make is totally incomprehensible. Moans, groans, whimpers, sighs, shrieks, sure. Dialogue? Not really.

It seems so lame because at the height of passion, the number of coherent lovers I have had is exactly zero. In my opinion, you create a strong paradox there. So uncontrolably intense I can't help but cry out, but at the same time my mind isn't so lost in it that I can remain coherent? About the only place I have encountered this is in porn flicks.

It can work I suppose, if the author has built the scene up to such a level that I am reading one handed and no longer have my whole mind focused on it, but usually it pulls me from a work.
Click to expand...

Well put. I hadn't actually thought about it, but you're quite right. Of course, you usually are, unless we're talking politics. ;) :kiss:
 
carsonshepherd said:
Okay, how about just....
Click to expand...

I don't find anything wrong with an "Ohh (or ooh) yeah."

But trying to write out types of moans, screams, etc.. is pointless. "moaned out a few words that were incoherent." could work.. *shrug*

I'm in agreeance with Minsue about the subject really.
 
carsonshepherd said:
Okay, how about just....


"Ohhh..."
Click to expand...

Ohhhhhh can work, provided you don't over use it. I suppose withing bounds and I'm Cuuummiinng could as well, although I have never heard it in my experience. By and large, your audience determines what works. Readers who make the majority of their selections from the beat-off bookshelf will probably not bat an eye. Readers who are looking for something more 'literary" will probably cringe.

Having read a couple of yours, I'll hazard a guess to your delimma. You write to well to use them effectively. People expect more from you and from your work. You expect more from you and from your work. So while it might work or might not, you are going to feel it dosen't because it is a lower standard of writing than you are accustomed to producing.
 
Colleen Thomas said:
Ohhhhhh can work, provided you don't over use it. I suppose withing bounds and I'm Cuuummiinng could as well, although I have never heard it in my experience. By and large, your audience determines what works. Readers who make the majority of their selections from the beat-off bookshelf will probably not bat an eye. Readers who are looking for something more 'literary" will probably cringe.

Having read a couple of yours, I'll hazard a guess to your delimma. You write to well to use them effectively. People expect more from you and from your work. You expect more from you and from your work. So while it might work or might not, you are going to feel it dosen't because it is a lower standard of writing than you are accustomed to producing.
Click to expand...

I hope I'm as smart as you one day. :rose:
 
IMO, they *are* supposed to sound silly on their own. Take the passionate cries of any kind - isolated - and they will sound like a bad joke. Yet, people get so worked up in their lust that those silly cries become highly arousing. The point is that you (or, well, a character) are acting stupid, sounding stupid, doing things that he or she would never have done under normal circumstances. Doing them because of the passion that built up. That is erotic, not the silly cries themselves.

So, personally, I don't worry or care about the sex speech sounding silly in itself. I never "plan" to include it, that never works for me. I just play the character and if the character's passion calls for a scream or cry, then out it goes. It can't be out of place if it's natural. ;)

That's my $0.02.
 
Wolk said:
IMO, they *are* supposed to sound silly on their own. Take the passionate cries of any kind - isolated - and they will sound like a bad joke. Yet, people get so worked up in their lust that those silly cries become highly arousing. The point is that you (or, well, a character) are acting stupid, sounding stupid, doing things that he or she would never have done under normal circumstances. Doing them because of the passion that built up. That is erotic, not the silly cries themselves.

So, personally, I don't worry or care about the sex speech sounding silly in itself. I never "plan" to include it, that never works for me. I just play the character and if the character's passion calls for a scream or cry, then out it goes. It can't be out of place if it's natural. ;)

That's my $0.02.
Click to expand...

And a good one it is! About what I was thinking.

And Colly - Please! :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Cacatua_Galerita
Are we writing Quality?
2 3
Replies
72
Views
3K
Cacatua_Galerita
Cacatua_Galerita
H
Amazon Writers Caught Using AI
Replies
18
Views
825
JTass
JTass
ICantLeafYou
Any other writers with aphantasia?
3 4 5
Replies
112
Views
3K
AG31
AG31
M
Lost my Cherry in LW!
2
Replies
38
Views
2K
geronimo_appleby
geronimo_appleby
Altissimus
Shame and humiliation in sex
3 4 5
Replies
117
Views
6K
Dearelliot
D
Back
Top