Mistress

[Alley Cat]

Ok, I originally posted this in the general discussion thread, my bad...

As of tomorrow, I start my life as a mistress, a kept woman. I fully understand the situation that i am getting into.. the whole sex w/o hope of a commitment. i am cool with that.

What i need to know, is how do i be the best mistress that i can be? What should i do? Help me please?

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I'm not speaking from experience as a mistress, but from experience in a polyamorous relationship where I had no hope of a serious relationship with the central guy....

You can't get jealous...understand that his family (I'm assuming here that he has one) needs him more on holidays and birthdays, etc. You will have days when you want him to be with you and he can't. you must accept it.

Keep in mind the reasons you were chosen...looks, intelligence? Keep those standards up. If you were an intellectual before, don't start watching tv all the time...

Keep your own life. Have things you love...although he is important to your life, don't let him take over all of it. In many ways treat it like a long term boyfriend thing.

Discuss with him what he wants...and expects. Share what you need and expect...with luck they'll match.

 

[Alley Cat]

thank you. I appreciate your advice. Not many people understand my choice. *shrug* If you have anything else, please feel free to add.

I am not too selfish, so i am thinking that it wont be a problem to let him have his own life.
I also have friends of my own, so i don't think that ill be demanding too much of his time.
I just want the sex.

 

[eliteslut]

It is not going to be an easy road. I am a mistress to a married man and often we land up being at the same functions etc. I know he will never leave his wife, but he is good to me and I understand that his needs are the same as mine. Sex. I am fortunate though that he does spend a lot of time with me. I also happen to know his wife and kids.

 

[Alley Cat]

That would be hard.. I do know that going into this, I have no expectations for a commitment...
thank you for your insight. -smooches-

 

[Guest]

Ok, I originally posted this in the general discussion thread, my bad...

As of tomorrow, I start my life as a mistress, a kept woman. I fully understand the situation that i am getting into.. the whole sex w/o hope of a commitment. i am cool with that.

What i need to know, is how do i be the best mistress that i can be? What should i do? Help me please?

Here's a man's perspective - been the married guy with a mistress a few times over the past 10 years. You already have the right attitude - just don't fall in love. That can and will happen in some cases. Enjoy what you do share if that is what you are getting into knowingly.

What he wants is something new, exciting and different. You are chosen for many reasons, be yourself. He's probably married a while, wife doesn't give him enough lovin' and tho he's a happy guy overall, sex IS important to men, more so than a woman SO IT SEEMS (here comes' the flaming...........lol).

Want to continue being this great mistress - understand when he doesn't make it to a prearranged sex date. Kids get sick, things come up, and he might also have guilt at times. Or maybe not.

Enjoy, wish I had a mistress these days..............

 

[Richard49]

Ok,
What i need to know, is how do i be the best mistress that i can be? What should i do? Help me please?

My best advice to you other than watch the green eyed monster is listen.

When someone reaches out for a mistress/male lover
they do so because there primary realtionship person does not listen.

Richard

 

[SexyChele]

How to be a good mistress? Easy. Just be ready to fuck like crazy whenever his schedule allows. Even if it's inconvenient for you. Even if you are tired. Even if you don't feel well. Even if you would rather go out with your friends instead.

I would also strongly recommend that you not give up other guys. Who says you must be monogamous?

Oh. And hope he isn't the jealous type. If you can't play in somebody else's sandbox every once in a while, it gets to be more of a chore to be with him.

Just some thoughts from one who has "been there, done that".

 

[Alley Cat]

Thanks, I will keep those all in mind, hearing the perspective of those on both sides really helps.

 

[Random Variable]

I think an important factor for you to keep in mind is--be happy. Your man is coming to you for a shot of happiness, so put on a smiley face, be cheerful and welcoming.

That doesn't mean that you can't lean on him now and then (if there is something there besides the sex).

Also I agree that you should date others. This will make him like you more as well as providing for some of the emotional gaps you will feel.


Avoid taking money--you will grow dependent on it and also it is a sure way to get caught (I don't know if your definition of 'kept' includes money). Keep your independence.

Listen, but don't be a psychiatrist. A sympathetic ear is plenty.

Recognize it will probably come to an end--probably because you will outgrow the relationship. Prepare for that day, and prepare him for that day.

This is going to sound funny, but I don't mean it so. In the first few weeks make sure you can trust him. You will both be taking risks and you want an exit plan if he turns out to be flakey. Also he may turn out to be an SOB. Especially likely if he is very handsome or has a lot of money. Don't turn off your female radar.

Also, keep in mind that the relationship will change, no matter what 'ground rules' you may have set.

Learn all you can.

Enjoy.

Good luck (and screw the holy hell out of him!) Let us know how it turns out.

 

[thecat]

Some-one between a man and a matress

 

[Alley Cat]

Your post really made sense, 'thecat'.

Thanks Random.

 

[Random Variable]

Hmm.... then what is it when the man is between the mistress and the mattress?

 

[Alley Cat]

Heaven?

 

[Random Variable]

When the man is the meat in mistress mattress sandwich

Heaven?

It is for me...nothing I like better--so much to gaze at, so much to touch, so much to kiss, so easy to take her where she wants to go. The artist takes over.

 

[Alley Cat]

Totally Agree.. And so far, it is heaven. Never in my life has something felt soooo right.

 

[Monazwx]

Why be a mistress?

I've never been a mistress and don't know any (or at least I don't think so), so I'm curious as to why someone would decide to be second fiddle in a relationship.

Is he avoiding commitment or are you by choosing him, a married man. *I'm not juding, I'm just curious that's all, so please don't be offended.*

It looks like you got some great advice already. Just don't allow him to think that if he gives you money that he owns you. It's a Common mistake. How's it going anyway?

 

[Alley Cat]

its going wonderful.. in fact... lunch tomorrow.........*sigh* heh. I love it. No commitments. Just nice fun and sex.

 

[Monazwx]

Anyway, I'm glad you're happy.

Do your thing!

 

[Random Variable]

Diary-Lunch

AC,
Have you ever thought of keeping a diary of this affair? It might make great reading later (and may be a best-selling book). Your posts could be a start.

Hope it was/will be fun today! I wish someone beautiful were having me for lunch!

Ta-ta!
R.V.

 

[Monazwx]

Never thought of that

A diary is a great idea. Aside from great reading for you, it can help other would-be mistresses.

(Not to mention, you can track how the relationship is faring.)

 

[huskie]

Re: Diary-Lunch

AC,
Have you ever thought of keeping a diary of this affair? It might make great reading later (and may be a best-selling book). Your posts could be a start.

Hope it was/will be fun today! I wish someone beautiful were having me for lunch!

Ta-ta!
R.V.

and could be used in court later on. Hope not

 

[Random Variable]

Court

True, huskie--by then too late anyway, I would think. Credit card receipts, phone calls, all of that as damning as a little diary. These posts could be as well, I suppose. Thanks for thinking of same.

 

[huskie]

Re: Court

True, huskie--by then too late anyway, I would think. Credit card receipts, phone calls, all of that as damning as a little diary. These posts could be as well, I suppose. Thanks for thinking of same.

and all the god alfull work on this guys part!! covering your trail, the lies, the lies to cover the lies, and the looking over your shoulder....... the stress would be more than I could take.



unless, of course, his wife already knows and it's an excepted thing between the two?

 

[Monazwx]

Ah-ha

That's the million-dollar question, Huskie.