Missionary Problems

[Savvy]

Alright, I've started having sex with my bf and we tried missionary and he always gets too tired to go on or to orgasm. We then moved on to me on top and that works but I'm tired of doing all the work! Anyone have any tips so that my boy can last through missionary? He says it's a huge workout on his abs etc and that he just gets exhausted by it!

 

[sheath]

Quick question, first...how long does he usually last? Are we talking, ten minutes...or an hour...what? That would help everybody answer your question.

S.

 

[Bobmi357]

The fact that he's taking too long could be attributed to a bunch of reasons.

Is he masturbating too much? Its not uncommon for a guy to get used to masturbating and since his hand is stronger than your vaginal muscles, he gets used to a stronger pressure than you can provide. Having him quit jerking off for a few days prior to having sex will shorten his fuse considerably.

Are you using too much lube? (Yes, too much lube will extend out the time it takes)

Have you tried other positions besides missionary male and missionary female? Doggy style for example may provide an additional tightness he needs.

Are we talking about his first orgasm of the night, or his second/third/eight etc... Typically a guy's first orgasm has the shortest fuse, unless he's a frequent masturbator. For a second or third orgasm it can take a man a lot longer. A LOT LONGER.

 

[Savvy]

He tends to get tired after about 15 minutes. And yes this is the first orgasm. And haven't tried doggie yet as he loves having eye contact (we tried on a chair with me facing away but he said he missed the eye contact even though he orgasmed).

<edit> With me on top doing most of the work he can orgasm within 10-20 mins depending how slow or fast I take it.

 

[Bobmi357]

15 minutes is NOT a long time. Sounds to me like he needs to get some exercise.

Hell I'm 45 and don't get tired after 15 minutes. But even if I did, then all that means is stop for a while, maybe perform some oral on the wife while resting the abs, then start up again.

 

[Savvy]

Funny thing is that he's far fitter than me. (He's run up 13 floors before in less than five minutes without panting while I took longer to get on the elevator and get to the 13th floor). *sigh* Maybe he just needs to pace himself...I don't know.

 

[ReadyOne]

How many sit-ups can he do?

Does he do PCs (Kegals)?

 

[Savvy]

Never asked him how many situps he can do. He probably doesn't really bother as he has a naturally toned stomach which is terribly terribly unfair!

 

[xeros_girl]

You can move to the edge of the bed, so he can kneel or stand on the floor, depending on the height, and be more perpindicular and use less muscles. This way he still gets the eye contact and will be less likely to wear out. It also has the added benefit of easier access to your clit by either of you, which always makes things better. Also you could go half and half with him going the first 5-10 minutes on top and then you can go the second 5 or 10 minutes on top.

 

[BirdsWife]

And haven't tried doggie yet as he loves having eye contact (we tried on a chair with me facing away but he said he missed the eye contact even though he orgasmed).

So why don't you try on a chair (or even better, a couch) with you facing toward him?

You also might want to check out www.sexualpositionsfree.com for some other ideas.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

one thing I did with a guy once while he was having back problems.... I was on top but he still did some of the work that way. He said it wasnt too bad on his back and he wasnt as worn out as usual, even though I was *angelic smile*

There are tons of different things you can try too. Like spend some extra time on him for foreplay, really get him excited, like to the point he's about to cum and then back off. It'll make him just want to fuck you like there's no tomorrow. He may not last long that way, but he will cum pretty quickly with sex.

 

[Ezzy]

Alright, I've started having sex with my bf and we tried missionary and he always gets too tired to go on or to orgasm. We then moved on to me on top and that works but I'm tired of doing all the work! Anyone have any tips so that my boy can last through missionary? He says it's a huge workout on his abs etc and that he just gets exhausted by it!

Is there some reason other than the eye contact that you have to stay in the same position all the way through making love?

I may not have the stamina I used to when I first made love but I have learned lots of different positions and techniques over the years that bring both my partners and myself much more pleasure.

A large part of these techniques include moving about from position to position, the pleasures of finding new places to stimulate and new ways and things to stimulate them with have bought many hours of pleasure.

The edge of the bed positions are good as are positions where you are on your side or half turned away from him, this would still allow eye contact directly.

The other thing that may work well would be doggie style with the use of a large mirror, eye contact can be made in the mirror, and there is a certain extra thrill of watching / being watched thrown in for good measure.

If you have the technology and can hook a camera up to the TV this can work well too, but make sure you are hapy about any tapes being made before the event, finding out latter that you are note happy is a bummer of the first order.

I would consider a good sex position guide, as a little light study / foreplay that may give you both some new ideas.

For me I have found that continuous one position love making to be boring (forgive the pun), not that it is not pleasureable to find five or ten minutes to become a thrusting machine, but if that is all I am going to be, I can provide an hour or more of manual stimulation that will be more effective than and longer lasting than as a thrusting machine.

 

[WolfenJ]

wondering

I'd also investigate what he is taking during the day that might afect his "performance". If he's into exercise and taking supplements, they can have an adverse affect on his abbility to orgasm. Same thing with excess caffeine or alcohol...... Might not seem important, but I'd check it out.

 

[Guest]

 

[PrincessHoney]

you could always try lying back with your legs on his shoulders.... this makes it tight and makes thrusting easier without losing eye contact

 

[krustyalice]

When you are having sex in the missionary position is he pounding you really fast maby what you need to do is slow down the pace swap whos on top a couple of times. once he starts to get into when the pace is slow the pace should naturally quicken.

maby he likes you on top and being tired is an excuse for him?

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Maybe that's just not a position that works for him. I could never gain any sexualy release from the missionary position. My lover has arthritis in his wrists and missionary is very hard for him to do for more than 5 min. or so.

There are so many other options. Get a good book and paw thru the pictures. Try a bunch of things, on your sides, you on top but laying down, not sitting up; him in a chair/couch with you on your knees in his lap (one of my personal favorites) Keep trying and remember people - practice practice practice!

 

[Noor]

where is his stamina problem? I once had a lover who could not hold his upper body weight off mine for very long, it was a shoulder arm thing. He started doing wall push ups (off) and it got better

 

[Savvy]

Might get him to try the wall/shoulder push up exercises because I know he has an odd back that seizes up sometimes (he goes to a chiropracter). Anyway, we've both been browsing to see other sex positions that interest us and all I can say is that it's a lot of fun looking

 

[SlvrTongueDevil]

He tends to get tired after about 15 minutes. And yes this is the first orgasm. And haven't tried doggie yet as he loves having eye contact (we tried on a chair with me facing away but he said he missed the eye contact even though he orgasmed).

<edit> With me on top doing most of the work he can orgasm within 10-20 mins depending how slow or fast I take it.

Sorry, but it sounds like he's just being lazy! Sorry if too blunt on that.
But there are alternatives to the two - spooning, doggie, etc., etc.

 

[cyberangel69]

My boy and I have the same issue.

He has a lot of stamina so it takes a while for him to cum (lucky me!)

what we usually do is alternate positions.

when he gets tired i'll get on top, then when i get tired he'll get on top

one of our favorites is in the chair with me facing him. that way we get the eye contact thing, and it's a great leg workout for me

 

[CoyoteTales]

Cheetah versus marathon runner...

If that's 15-20 minutes of sustained exercise, that'll knock down even the most fit of folks.

The thing to remember is that sex is an exercise without a form factor or a time limit, that it's not about doing X reps in 10 minutes, or specifying that you have to be up off your partner with every cycle. Sex isn't pushups. It's push in. (*grin*) It's not a race to the finish line, unless you're going for a quickie -- it's the middle and end of a good dance session.

Rest in the middle. There are things you can do with your hands and your mouth even if you're the one on top.

At least, from my experience, where you want to derive the power (and therefore, where you should feel the burn) is your -legs-, not your arms, especially from the missionary position.

In other words, stealing the line from the moving companies; 'lift with your legs, not with your back.'

I usually reserve the extra arm movements for the end, when I want the additional power. I'm also not up on my hands the entire time; most of the time I've got at least one arm underneath my partner, be it behind her back, shoulders, or head; you can put a lot of weight on your elbow and get that hand under for free.

Three caveats to this: a) I've also been supporting a chiropactor, so I know what it's like to have back spasms; recognize when your back is stiff and -don't- have sex with an iffy back b) I'm -not- an exercise fanatic, so I'm not that built -- which means that this ought to work for you -- c) At the time I had a regular dance partner, I was also fencing three days a week -- _that_ builds up the leg muscles. YMMV.

Good luck.

-CoyoteTales

 

[SlvrTongueDevil]

Re: Cheetah versus marathon runner...

If that's 15-20 minutes of sustained exercise, that'll knock down even the most fit of folks.

The thing to remember is that sex is an exercise without a form factor or a time limit, that it's not about doing X reps in 10 minutes, or specifying that you have to be up off your partner with every cycle. Sex isn't pushups. It's push in. (*grin*) It's not a race to the finish line, unless you're going for a quickie -- it's the middle and end of a good dance session.

Rest in the middle. There are things you can do with your hands and your mouth even if you're the one on top.

At least, from my experience, where you want to derive the power (and therefore, where you should feel the burn) is your -legs-, not your arms, especially from the missionary position.

In other words, stealing the line from the moving companies; 'lift with your legs, not with your back.'

I usually reserve the extra arm movements for the end, when I want the additional power. I'm also not up on my hands the entire time; most of the time I've got at least one arm underneath my partner, be it behind her back, shoulders, or head; you can put a lot of weight on your elbow and get that hand under for free.

Three caveats to this: a) I've also been supporting a chiropactor, so I know what it's like to have back spasms; recognize when your back is stiff and -don't- have sex with an iffy back b) I'm -not- an exercise fanatic, so I'm not that built -- which means that this ought to work for you -- c) At the time I had a regular dance partner, I was also fencing three days a week -- _that_ builds up the leg muscles. YMMV.

Good luck.

-CoyoteTales

If sex is exercise, I'm eternally grateful I'm a marathon runner!!

 

[Machiavellian]

reading all the above - i'd suggest trying all of it - worst case - non extends the time but u have fun trying.

 

[PrincessHoney]

yep i agree........

if it feels good do it... and do it and do it.........