Midlfe Crisis For Women

DG Hear

My Friend Kipper
Joined
Jun 14, 2005
Posts
6,689
I just received this and found it quite funny. I think my wife would totally agree with it. I thought I'd post it here instead of the humor thread. Hope it doesn't offend anyone. Have been accused of it many time. So, if you're easily offended, don't read it.
DG:)

If you delete this message, you will gain 10
pounds.

I can almost feel myself losing weight . . . by
forwarding this to you! You'll understand at
the end.

I've seen two shows lately that went on and
on about how mid-life is a great time for women.
Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how

great menopause will be . . . Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had
a few thoughts of my own and would like to share
them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50,
60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll
probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs
slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care
for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms,
we have wing spans. We are no longer women in
sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in
drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front
of a mirror and you can see your rear without
turning around..

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and
you realize that this is the only time someone
will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm
young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen,
honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will
too.'

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws
us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all,
cellphone carrying teenager and think, 'For this
I have stretch marks?'

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact
the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes
Legs By Rand McNally--more red and blue lines
than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin .

Mid-life means that you become more reflective.
You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is
life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice
ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy
choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation
for what is important. We realize that breasts
sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved
ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of
you trade the knowledge that you have now, for
the body you had way back when?

Maybe ourbodies simply have to expand to hold
all the wisdom and love we've acquired..
That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

Send this to four women and you will lose two
pounds..

Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew),
and you will lose 10 pounds.

If you delete this message, you will gain 10
pounds immediately. (That's why I had to pass
this on--I didn't want to risk deleting this..)

Smooches!
 
OMG! I almost peed my pants laughing over that one!!!! (There really should be a bladder control thing in there, too.)

I've got to share this. TOOOO funny! Thank you!
 
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