Mental Illness

Things are on the upswing here:

My girl is doing better. She seems to be taking her meds correctly and not "forgetting" most of the time. She is eating a little bit healthier and sleeping. She seems to be on track though I'm leaning on her about finding a job.

My mother is doing better. Though she claims to be in great pain and unable to do anything all the time, her home is spotless when I surprise visit and she seems fine. Additionally she has started writing me letters back, something she had recently told me was "too hard". She keeps hinting or threatening to bring up some serious issues with me about her health but so far nothing. She has even been funny and nice a few times recently.

I'm still leaning on my son, which I hate to do, to look for work harder. He is making some progress in what he is able and willing to do.

Good days.
 
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Glad to hear you're on an upswing over there! :)

I figured I would introduce myself. I have bipolar disorder, we're confused as to whether it's type 1 or 2 right now; I was diagnosed in 2009. Sometimes I have a hard time taking my medicine like I'm supposed to and I wish I knew why. Sounds really dumb, because all you have to do is swallow a pill, right?!

Right now I'm in a very awkward sort of ... spaced-out cranky phase where nothing feels like it matters, but I'm still worrying and panicking about everything, and I want to do all the bad-for-me things, for some reason. So I'm keeping myself locked in the house, LOL.

Anywho, that's where I am right now. Also, did I hear something about a saucepan of supportiveness? ;)


Things are on the upswing here:

My girl is doing better. She seems to be taking her meds correctly and not "forgetting" most of the time. She is eating a little bit healthier and sleeping. She seems to be on track though I'm leaning on her about finding a job.

My mother id doing better. Though she claims to be in great pain and unable to do anything all the time, her home is spotless when I surprise visit and she seems fine. Additionally she has started writing me letters back, something she had recently told me was "too hard". She keeps hinting or threatening to bring up some serious issues with me about her health but so far nothing. She has even been funny and nice a few times recently.

I'm still leaning on my son, which I hate to do, to look for work harder. He is making some progress in what he is able and willing to do.

Good days.
 
*hugs*

Have you tried setting alarms and a daily pill box kind of thing?

My girl lost 50 pounds just by eating more salads with kale or spinach, egg, cheese and vinaigrette.

But last night I had nightmares about her being on trips (she is actually taking two this month and I'm terrified she will have some kind of crisis), having sex with men (she's gay but wants a baby) and fighting, acting irrationally. Yikes!

:eek:

Glad to hear you're on an upswing over there! :)

I figured I would introduce myself. I have bipolar disorder, we're confused as to whether it's type 1 or 2 right now; I was diagnosed in 2009. Sometimes I have a hard time taking my medicine like I'm supposed to and I wish I knew why. Sounds really dumb, because all you have to do is swallow a pill, right?!

Right now I'm in a very awkward sort of ... spaced-out cranky phase where nothing feels like it matters, but I'm still worrying and panicking about everything, and I want to do all the bad-for-me things, for some reason. So I'm keeping myself locked in the house, LOL.

Anywho, that's where I am right now. Also, did I hear something about a saucepan of supportiveness? ;)
 
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http://io9.com/kinky-people-have-better-mental-health-than-the-rest-of-510510381

Kinky people have better mental health than everyone else
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5/30/13 11:28am

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Kinky people have better mental health than everyone elseExpand12345...17

People who engage in kinky sexual practices involving such things as bondage and sadomasochism may actually be more mentally healthy than those who don't, according to a new study. So what are you waiting for? It's time to break out those whips and handcuffs.

BDSM is an umbrella term that mainly bridges bondage and discipline (B&D) with sadism and masochism (S&M). The BDSM culture, however, doesn't limit itself to these things and often includes rubber lovers, fetishists, and other types of people.

Interestingly, BDSM is listed in the latest (5th) edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is often called the "psychiatrist's bible." The manual does not list BDSM as a disorder, and instead refers to the practice as a paraphilia, or unusual sexual fixation.

Either way, studies have failed to link BDSM and other kinks with psychological problems, so some psychiatrists see the manual's inclusion of the practices as a bit stigmatizing, according to LiveScience.

In the new study, published recently in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers had 902 BDSM and 434 non-BDSM, or vanilla, participants fill out questionnaires. They didn't tell the participants the true purpose of the surveys, which asked numerous questions about their personality, sensitivity to rejection, style of attachment in relationships and overall well-being.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, BDSM practitioners who often played the dominant role in their sexual acts scored highest across the board, compared with submissives and switches (people who go between dominant and submissive roles). But even the submissives, who scored lowest out of those three groups, still frequently scored higher than vanilla participants on the mental health surveys (and never lower). LiveScience explains:

The new results reveal that on a basic level, BDSM practitioners don't appear to be more troubled than the general population. They were more extroverted, more open to new experiences and more conscientious than vanilla participants; they were also less neurotic, a personality trait marked by anxiety. BDSM aficionados also scored lower than the general public on rejection sensitivity, a measure of how paranoid people are about others disliking them.

People in the BDSM scene reported higher levels of well-being in the past two weeks than people outside it, and they reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships, the researchers found.

The researchers aren't yet sure why people who are into BDSM appear to be more psychologically healthy than the rest of the population, but suggest it may have to do with being more aware of their sexual needs and desires, leading to less overall frustration in their physical and emotional relationships.

Read more about the study and its findings over at LiveScience, or check out the abstract of the paper in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Top image via dualdflipflop / Flickr
 
I'm not around here as much anymore, but... Yeah.

Things have been really rough lately. There was a week of suicidal thoughts and scrambling to make sure I was safe in every way under our control, since the inpatient units weren't just full but had waiting lists.

I was cutting myself way too often, too, in ways that had nothing to do with suicide. I signed a no-harm contract and lasted 6 days.

I'm over the worst of it, I think, but it's wrecked me at work. 8 hours on my most recent paycheck is definitely anxiety-inducing.
 
*HUGS* I'm so sorry you've been going through a rough time. Things are getting better now. Yeah?

:rose:

I'm not around here as much anymore, but... Yeah.

Things have been really rough lately. There was a week of suicidal thoughts and scrambling to make sure I was safe in every way under our control, since the inpatient units weren't just full but had waiting lists.

I was cutting myself way too often, too, in ways that had nothing to do with suicide. I signed a no-harm contract and lasted 6 days.

I'm over the worst of it, I think, but it's wrecked me at work. 8 hours on my most recent paycheck is definitely anxiety-inducing.
 
I agree that the mentally ill deserve to be happy as much as anyone else. But sometimes you have to walk away from someone who's in the throes of mental illness...for your own sanity. Sometimes it's about your own survival, or the survival of your children. I don't think this makes a person the biggest sonofabitch to walk the earth, I think it makes them human. Circumstances vary, of course, but not everyone is capable of handling or coping with the more extreme forms of mental illness, particularly if the person who is ill won't seek treatment.

Amen! It gets even more complicated when both of you have mental/emotional disorders to cope with. Then throw on top of that toxic relationships with our families of origin and a major medical crisis which results in one of those relationships (wife and her daughter) spirals into an extremely abusive relationship where neither will cut the cord. Argh! Our marriage was effectively about 3 yrs in length but we never had a chance to build the bonds that are forged in the early years of most marriages.

Sorry for rambling and venting, but this is what I've been living for the past several years. I don't see how a parent would be able to handle being verbally and emotionally abused by her kid like my stbxw has been (probably still is.) But until she finds a way to cope or until she cuts the cord, their toxic relationship will continue destroying the woman I still love and me as well if I remained. Sometimes love just isn't enough.
 
I'm not around here as much anymore, but... Yeah.

Things have been really rough lately. There was a week of suicidal thoughts and scrambling to make sure I was safe in every way under our control, since the inpatient units weren't just full but had waiting lists.

I was cutting myself way too often, too, in ways that had nothing to do with suicide. I signed a no-harm contract and lasted 6 days.

I'm over the worst of it, I think, but it's wrecked me at work. 8 hours on my most recent paycheck is definitely anxiety-inducing.

The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.
Nietzsche said that.
 
http://io9.com/kinky-people-have-better-mental-health-than-the-rest-of-510510381

Kinky people have better mental health than everyone else
74,803
8
joe_suff
Joseph Bennington-Castro
Profile
Joseph Bennington-Castro
Filed to: psychology

bdsm
sex
mental health
science

5/30/13 11:28am

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Go to permalink

Kinky people have better mental health than everyone elseExpand12345...17

People who engage in kinky sexual practices involving such things as bondage and sadomasochism may actually be more mentally healthy than those who don't, according to a new study. So what are you waiting for? It's time to break out those whips and handcuffs.

BDSM is an umbrella term that mainly bridges bondage and discipline (B&D) with sadism and masochism (S&M). The BDSM culture, however, doesn't limit itself to these things and often includes rubber lovers, fetishists, and other types of people.

Interestingly, BDSM is listed in the latest (5th) edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is often called the "psychiatrist's bible." The manual does not list BDSM as a disorder, and instead refers to the practice as a paraphilia, or unusual sexual fixation.

Either way, studies have failed to link BDSM and other kinks with psychological problems, so some psychiatrists see the manual's inclusion of the practices as a bit stigmatizing, according to LiveScience.

In the new study, published recently in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers had 902 BDSM and 434 non-BDSM, or vanilla, participants fill out questionnaires. They didn't tell the participants the true purpose of the surveys, which asked numerous questions about their personality, sensitivity to rejection, style of attachment in relationships and overall well-being.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, BDSM practitioners who often played the dominant role in their sexual acts scored highest across the board, compared with submissives and switches (people who go between dominant and submissive roles). But even the submissives, who scored lowest out of those three groups, still frequently scored higher than vanilla participants on the mental health surveys (and never lower). LiveScience explains:

The new results reveal that on a basic level, BDSM practitioners don't appear to be more troubled than the general population. They were more extroverted, more open to new experiences and more conscientious than vanilla participants; they were also less neurotic, a personality trait marked by anxiety. BDSM aficionados also scored lower than the general public on rejection sensitivity, a measure of how paranoid people are about others disliking them.

People in the BDSM scene reported higher levels of well-being in the past two weeks than people outside it, and they reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships, the researchers found.

The researchers aren't yet sure why people who are into BDSM appear to be more psychologically healthy than the rest of the population, but suggest it may have to do with being more aware of their sexual needs and desires, leading to less overall frustration in their physical and emotional relationships.

Read more about the study and its findings over at LiveScience, or check out the abstract of the paper in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Top image via dualdflipflop / Flickr

This sounds strangely like: people with this mental illness, tend to be less mentally ill.
 
It's called "thinking with your dick." It's a freaking epidemic, I swear. :rolleyes:

As far as some of the other things that have been discussed in this thread, I totally understand people's reluctance to see therapists/psychologists. There are a few good ones among a giant dung pile of terrible ones. And for many illnesses (bipolar, schizophrenia, and, to a certain extent, unipolar depression with a biological basis), it doesn't really help that much. Also, even the good therapists/psychologists will tell you that if you are really ill, it's very possible that you'll need meds to stabilize you in order for therapy to actually do any good.

Agreed. It doesn't matter the origin of the disorder (emotional or biochemical) because when the brain reacts it becomes a biochemical imbalance. Therapy may help a person cope with the emotional factors which put them into an imbalance, but the imbalance itself almost always requires prolonged pharmacological treatment.

It's bad to say, but I trust the pill-pushers more than the talkers. *Shrug*

As has been said, most of the talkers get into the field to figure their own issues out. My P-doc is cool in that she only cares about major traumatic events insofar as they impact how my meds affect me day-to-day. My therapist on the other hand, despite being the best I've found in my BFE area still ends up relating what I'm dealing with to something in his life. Fucking annoying, but the alternative is traveling over an hour one-way to have any hopes of someone better. Heck, one of the local ministers is better at informal talk therapy and I'm fortunate that one of her sons has a wife that has similar problems to stbxw.

Speaking of pill-pushers, I actually get my meds from my family doctor. She knows more about psychiatric drugs than most general practitioners, and she's enormously cool. So I agree with OSG that a person might have better luck there.

I used to as well until he passed away. I really despise having to find a new doctor after getting one broken in.

So if someone out there knows he/she needs help, but is either disgusted by the mental health practitioners or afraid of them, then I encourage you to talk to a general practitioner whom you trust. That person might help you, and even if he/she doesn't or can't, you might at least manage to get a recommendation to a good psychiatrist, which is much better than just picking one at random out of the phone book. (You can also get appointments much faster with GPs than with psychologists or psychiatrists.)

Truth! And if you are feeling off, get to an ER! They most likely won't have a P-doc on staff, but they'll have a way to get you to one PDQ.

Also, I just want to encourage people not to give up. There are tons of legitimate treatments out there: many different types of meds, light therapy for depression, dark therapy for bipolar, ECT for depression (which is usually a last resort, but some people swear by it), and lots more. I'm not saying that you'll find something that makes everything perfect, but there's most likely something out there that can help you.

Hadn't heard of "dark therapy" and I'm currently under a BP1 296.42 dx. Then again there is a chance my dx is incorrect and that 25+ years of very low and volatile testosterone levels has been the culprit. I knew low T would affect depression, but the doc handling my low T told me that lots of men who get treated for low T and have a dx of bipolar find their symptoms disappearing after T levels balance out properly. Told this to my P-doc and she looked into it and confirmed it, so next summer we are going to take me off the meds for a couple of months to see what happens. I'd be nice if it works, but if not there isn't a chance in hell I'm giving up the meds!

As far as mentally ill people and their meds go--I have been hard on the non mentally ill in my last few posts, but on this subject, I'll be hard on those of us who do have illnesses.

TAKE YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING MEDICATION.

You have a responsibility to take care of both yourself and the people around you. You cannot do that unmedicated. Regardless of what your illness is trying to tell you, most of the time, if you were prescribed medication, you need it. You are not some goddamn special snowflake who is just "misunderstood" by everyone around you and being held down by The Man or whatever. Yes, there are cases of people being over-medicated or medicated when they didn't actually need meds, but those cases are the minority, not the majority. Serious (and oftentimes, even moderate) mental illness requires medication. Remember, lack of insight to one's condition and one's need for treatment is a hallmark of many illnesses.

AMEN! And if a person has a problem with taking meds because of the stigma of their illness, get the fuck over it and think of it like high blood pressure and take the fucking meds! But I know some people (MOM!) will never see a doctor because of the stigma she sees associated with mental and emotional disorders.

If your meds aren't helping, go back to the doctor. If the side effects are too hard to live with, go back to the doctor. If that doctor won't help you, find another one. There are a ton of meds out there. The odds are in your favor that you will find something where the good outweighs the bad in terms of efficacy vs. side effects.

There's no such thing as a medication with zero side effects. That does not mean that you shouldn't take meds. Learn the difference between intolerable side effects and inconvenient ones. Intolerable side effects are dangerous ones (like an anaphylactic reaction or insulin resistance) or ones that truly interfere with your quality of life (like something that either makes it impossible to sleep or impossible to wake up). Inconvenient side effects are things like acne and mild weight gain.

If your meds give you intolerable side effects, have them changed. If they give you inconvenient ones but otherwise help your quality of life, suck it up and fucking deal with it. Wellbutrin gives me a mild tremor that becomes a major one if I'm hungry, tired, or sick. Lamictal makes me stumble over words when I talk. These things are annoying, but I can live with looking like a stuttering Parkinson's patient if it means I feel better and don't hurt the people around me.

Depakote packed pounds on me like nobody's business and paxil made me jumpy. Welbutrin seems to do better for me at handling the depression, but the lamictal doesn't seem to have much effect either way. But when we tried abilify I took my morning dose before heading to lecture and by mid-morning I was wired and jumpy to the point it scared me. I called it at a half-day stopped by my P-docs office and told her nurse what was going on and asked if I should got down the street to the ER. P-doc came out and checked me over and took me off the stuff immediately. God I love her! But you are 100% correct that there should be something out there that should at least help.

On the other hand, my stbxw has tried damned near every cocktail to address her issues and while she's found one that works... kinda... for now, I think she needs to be back in some serious CBT/DBT to get to the underlying causes.

Which do you prefer? The inconvenience of taking meds and their side effects or harming yourself and others? Take responsibility for your own actions; being mentally ill is no excuse for being a selfish cunt.

Also, non mentally ill people, for the love of God, stop encouraging us crazies to stop taking our meds. You are not us. You are not our doctors. You, as an outside lay person, do not have the ability to make that judgment call. I don't give a shit if you are "Master" or "Mistress." You cannot take the place of somebody's meds, and please go fuck yourself if you think you can.

/rant

Again, AMEN! Until a person has walked in our shoes they have no business telling us what to do. If they've had to live with someone with a disorder, they have a little more credibility.

BiBunny...you friggin' ROCK!
 
I do. Just like on a plane when you are advised to put on YOUR oxygen mask FIRST before helping anyone else you MUST take care of yourself first to be of any use to anyone.

You have a right to put strong limits in place. What you can't do can be done by others.

You have a right to encourage positive behavior and avoid negative WITHOUT guilt. I told my mother years ago she could have my attention but not by yet another suicide attempt and hospitalization because she was pulling me down into that black hell she was in with that shit. Also because the more I did for her the less she did for herself.

It KILLS me that I can't help her in so many ways, mostly because she won't let me. I want to be there for her like I am for everyone else but her behavior toward me is so toxic I can't do that and survive. I might not care if others weren't counting on me too but they are.

So eat right (but don't feel too guilty about some comfort food during the rocky times), exercise (but forgive yourself when you don't and start back again), activitly pursue peace and happiness however that works for you, (looking up positive quotes, reading good things, watching mindless stuff in movies or TV, gardening, therapy, whatevs) and just take care of YOU.

Then do what you can for them and NOT feel pulled down. That's it. All I got.

Your enough has to be enough because you have to survive too.

*hugs*

FF

:rose:

The analogy I use is "don't jump in to save a drowning person if you are injured and can't swim!"

But very well said, Furry!
 
Ok, I have a serious question for everybody who's been burned by a crazy person in their lives.

Let's suppose that after a long period of introspection and treatment, this person realized just how awful she was and felt extremely bad about it. After more introspection, this person came to believe that she needed to do something about it, something to make amends.

If you were the person she'd hurt, would you rather she apologize to you (genuinely, not as a way of manipulating you further), or would you rather she just leave you in peace?

I have come to this crossroads in my life, and I can't decide which is the better path to take. Not for me, but for the other person(s).

I'd accept the apology and try to rebuild the relationship.
 
I want to thank everyone who's posted here and talked about their experiences. I knew *taps head* I wasn't alone, but you guys really help me feel *hand on heart* that I'm not alone. Thank you!

ADDED: And sorry about not checking the year of the posts I responded to. I read the latest couple of posts and then jumped to the beginning of the thread without checking the post dates. :eek:

But seriously, thank you each and every one for sharing your experiences. It really has helped me.
 
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Me too. I'd LOVE to rebuild with my mother if only she'd get to that point that she could be reliable or even just damn care.

I'd accept the apology and try to rebuild the relationship.

I had to go pick up my girl from an emergency room several hours away yesterday. Scary.

I do not have her issues but seriously, how hard can it be to take meds, eat regularly and sleep? Or to KNOW that you can't handle two trips so close together and set limits?!?

This burning bridges thing is killing me.
 
FurryFury said:
I had to go pick up my girl from an emergency room several hours away yesterday. Scary.

I do not have her issues but seriously, how hard can it be to take meds, eat regularly and sleep? Or to KNOW that you can't handle two trips so close together and set limits?!?

This burning bridges thing is killing me.

Answer: really effin' hard. It's called mental illness because it makes your brain sick. When your brain's sick, you can't make those good healthy choices for yourself. If you can, it is really. effin'. hard. I have PTSD and anxiety on top of that, and when I'm put in situations where I'm triggered, I can tell my brain, "okay, so you know we're not actually in mortal danger right now, right?" all I want. I can try and be rational till the cows come home, but that won't stop my brain from thinking "NO WE'RE GONNA DIE" if I'm in a triggering situation.

If she's just come out of the ER due to mental illness, you need to be there for her and just try to be as helpful as you can. Gently remind her to take meds. Gently remind her to eat, or if you can be there in person, make something for her to eat. Treat her just as you would a person recovering from a physical injury. Her mental illness is not her fault.
 
I'm not around here as much anymore, but... Yeah.

Things have been really rough lately. There was a week of suicidal thoughts and scrambling to make sure I was safe in every way under our control, since the inpatient units weren't just full but had waiting lists.

I was cutting myself way too often, too, in ways that had nothing to do with suicide. I signed a no-harm contract and lasted 6 days.

I'm over the worst of it, I think, but it's wrecked me at work. 8 hours on my most recent paycheck is definitely anxiety-inducing.


Hugs and positive thoughts to you.

:rose:
 
It's been one year now since my son's last suicide attempt. He has come a long way since then, we all have. A few weeks ago he got some horrible news and I immediately was terrified it may push him to attempt once again. But he got through it okay. He has an amazing therapist right now. His first one was doing more harm than good.

I hear my friends talk about their teenagers and how they want them to be successful, or to be famous, or to travel the world or even to just be happy. It feels that even saying to my son "I just want you to be happy" is putting too much pressure on him.

For me I just want him to want to live and to want to live a healthy life.
 
It's been one year now since my son's last suicide attempt. He has come a long way since then, we all have. A few weeks ago he got some horrible news and I immediately was terrified it may push him to attempt once again. But he got through it okay. He has an amazing therapist right now. His first one was doing more harm than good.

I hear my friends talk about their teenagers and how they want them to be successful, or to be famous, or to travel the world or even to just be happy. It feels that even saying to my son "I just want you to be happy" is putting too much pressure on him.

For me I just want him to want to live and to want to live a healthy life.

Two of my relatives have committed suicide; one other tried and failed. A sibling and a cousin, plus one in a younger generation. All but one made multiple attempts.

The aftermath is pretty brutal, but the daily chaos, stress, fear, and sense of helplessness involved in dealing with a loved one's struggle is almost worse.

~ Sympathies ~ :rose:
 
*HUGS*

:rose:

:heart:

It's been one year now since my son's last suicide attempt. He has come a long way since then, we all have. A few weeks ago he got some horrible news and I immediately was terrified it may push him to attempt once again. But he got through it okay. He has an amazing therapist right now. His first one was doing more harm than good.

I hear my friends talk about their teenagers and how they want them to be successful, or to be famous, or to travel the world or even to just be happy. It feels that even saying to my son "I just want you to be happy" is putting too much pressure on him.

For me I just want him to want to live and to want to live a healthy life.
 
I'm so sorry.

*hugs*

Two of my relatives have committed suicide; one other tried and failed. A sibling and a cousin, plus one in a younger generation. All but one made multiple attempts.

The aftermath is pretty brutal, but the daily chaos, stress, fear, and sense of helplessness involved in dealing with a loved one's struggle is almost worse.

~ Sympathies ~ :rose:
 
I hear you but my girl, she needs limits imposed on her. She has been trying all kinds of crazy things. So far it's not as bad as the last time when she was also drugged (knock on wood) but who knows how much worse it will get before she is back to herself? I'm terrified and exhausted. That doesn't make me the gentlest person.

Answer: really effin' hard. It's called mental illness because it makes your brain sick. When your brain's sick, you can't make those good healthy choices for yourself. If you can, it is really. effin'. hard. I have PTSD and anxiety on top of that, and when I'm put in situations where I'm triggered, I can tell my brain, "okay, so you know we're not actually in mortal danger right now, right?" all I want. I can try and be rational till the cows come home, but that won't stop my brain from thinking "NO WE'RE GONNA DIE" if I'm in a triggering situation.

If she's just come out of the ER due to mental illness, you need to be there for her and just try to be as helpful as you can. Gently remind her to take meds. Gently remind her to eat, or if you can be there in person, make something for her to eat. Treat her just as you would a person recovering from a physical injury. Her mental illness is not her fault.
 
hi all same boat . my issue is older adult with ADHD meds and anti-depressants..
 
Not only take your meds make sure you eat every 3-4 hrs ...I had ADHD rebound because of where the meds start to wear off and my blood sugar was low...
 
A psychotic AND a manic episode is my layman's diagnosis. Looking forward to seeing what her psychiatrist says a week from now. She is much better but not ready to be trusted with electronic or social media and/or alone yet.
 
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