Mental Illness

[Wild_Honey_66]

Switching is not easy. PCPs I’ve spoken to typically do not work with drugs for mental health. My PCP originally prescribed a med that helped until it didn’t. There was only one physician willing to prescribe to me in the practice I go to. When I needed more assistance (nothing like a full blown meltdown to get things going) they sent me to a related medical group that specifically deals with mental illness. At that time it was amazing because they got me in the same day (every practice I called had at least a 3 month wait for scheduling).

I do need to do more to fix this. The illogical anxiety is telling me the office stopped getting back to me because I’m an awful person/patient and they just don’t want to deal with me. This is not true. I know this. But anxiety brain says otherwise and I freeze and can’t pick up the phone or bring myself to dial the numbers needed to get help.

If I’m up to it, I will try to call again tomorrow.

I understand. Anxiety brain is a bitch.

I was just telling someone earlier that our family motto is 'keep moving forward.' Sometimes it takes me a long time before i can get up off of the bed and get moving at all, but that's the goal.

 

[Ropebunny]

Switching is not easy. PCPs I’ve spoken to typically do not work with drugs for mental health. My PCP originally prescribed a med that helped until it didn’t. There was only one physician willing to prescribe to me in the practice I go to. When I needed more assistance (nothing like a full blown meltdown to get things going) they sent me to a related medical group that specifically deals with mental illness. At that time it was amazing because they got me in the same day (every practice I called had at least a 3 month wait for scheduling).

I do need to do more to fix this. The illogical anxiety is telling me the office stopped getting back to me because I’m an awful person/patient and they just don’t want to deal with me. This is not true. I know this. But anxiety brain says otherwise and I freeze and can’t pick up the phone or bring myself to dial the numbers needed to get help.

If I’m up to it, I will try to call again tomorrow.

Im not a qualified expert but as a person who has felt very similar on and off I’m just going to throw this out there because my life has changed since considering this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder

And for support (quite possibly the very kindest place in the internet and worth a read to see if anything resonates with you)
https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/

Feel free to pm me if you’d like to talk, or post here and I’ll check later today.

Kia kaha, stay strong and you will get where you need to go

 

[MeekMe]

I understand. Anxiety brain is a bitch.

I was just telling someone earlier that our family motto is 'keep moving forward.' Sometimes it takes me a long time before i can get up off of the bed and get moving at all, but that's the goal.

Im not a qualified expert but as a person who has felt very similar on and off I’m just going to throw this out there because my life has changed since considering this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder

And for support (quite possibly the very kindest place in the internet and worth a read to see if anything resonates with you)
https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/

Feel free to pm me if you’d like to talk, or post here and I’ll check later today.

Kia kaha, stay strong and you will get where you need to go

That is a lot to take in. Something I wasn’t aware of and hadn’t considered. I can check a lot of boxes in CPTSD. Some of my thoughts and behaviors make more sense under that umbrella. I will definitely look into this more. And that sub reddit looks very nice. Thank you for posting this.

 

[Ropebunny]

That is a lot to take in. Something I wasn’t aware of and hadn’t considered. I can check a lot of boxes in CPTSD. Some of my thoughts and behaviors make more sense under that umbrella. I will definitely look into this more. And that sub reddit looks very nice. Thank you for posting this.

You’re most welcome! And it is a lot to take in, especially when you come to it in an already tumultuous state. Go at your speed - it’s a marathon and not a sprint (it’s taken me a little while to accept that, at my pace). I’ve come to the conclusion that anything that makes you feel more understood, even if it also feels painful, is a good thing and so the plodding forward into the light continues...

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I guess? my depression is improving, because I seem to be spending less time feeling helpless and more time feeling angry.

Related: I am so sick of my kids being home all day, every day, I want to send them packing for a long weekend so that I can clean my house and go through all of their stuff without them here to interfere.

 

[MeekMe]

Fuck, why does going manic feel so amazing? I think when it happens I always think, “this must be how ‘normal’ people feel.” It’s not until I’m coming down (or crashing) that I recognize how odd everything was during that time.

Just sending these thoughts into the world. Can’t have it looping in my brain.

....

 

[jaF0]

I'm curious if anyone has ever known anyone who was really insane. I don't mean a lot of the stuff posted above, or someone who is a little different. I mean single white female whacked out, dangerous to be around, where people were genuinely afraid to be alone in the same room with them.

 

[cocktaildress21]

Well I think it's a case of egg-before-chicken: Our diagnose-seeking behavior is creating mental illness where none existed.

 

[MeekMe]

Still the same old Lit, I see.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Well I think it's a case of egg-before-chicken: Our diagnose-seeking behavior is creating mental illness where none existed.

Oh yes, because people with mental illness diagnoses get treated so well. Disclose something like that in a job interview and you're practically guaranteed to get it!

 

[MeekMe]

Oh yes, because people with mental illness diagnoses get treated so well. Disclose something like that in a job interview and you're practically guaranteed to get it!

So good to see you!

Indeed, this is something I cannot discuss outside of close friends or here in a supportive thread because my illness is invisible.

And while I’m here, here’s an update: I forced myself and called the office several times until I could speak with someone instead of leaving a message. I was able to get the appointment and all my irrational fears were proven wrong. It’s a setback and my doctor was extremely concerned so the next appointment is soon and already booked to be safe.

 

[cookiecat]

Reading a book to heal anything has always been a challenge for me, especially with mental health stuff. Absorbing info and then taking action feels overwhelming.

That being said, this book was suggested and it laid out C-PTSD in a way I could wrap my head around.

the Complext PTSD Workbook - Arielle Schwartz

 

[Bramblethorn]

So good to see you!

Indeed, this is something I cannot discuss outside of close friends or here in a supportive thread because my illness is invisible.

And while I’m here, here’s an update: I forced myself and called the office several times until I could speak with someone instead of leaving a message. I was able to get the appointment and all my irrational fears were proven wrong. It’s a setback and my doctor was extremely concerned so the next appointment is soon and already booked to be safe.

Good to see you too, MM! And glad you're getting help. It's a tough year for everybody.

 

[MeekMe]

How does one get help after developing a fear of medical/mental health professionals and facilities?

 

[Ropebunny]

How does one get help after developing a fear of medical/mental health professionals and facilities?

I have no idea but if you figure it out please do let me know!

Unfortunately dealing medical professionals for treatment for myself is one of the few situations that triggers a fight response in me, which means I attempt to wrest authority of the situation and fail every time because I just look like an unreasonable Karen instead of someone in fear and pain...

My newest plan is to try a new GP and start off with being painfully honest about my past and how I might come across. If I give them an out at the beginning and they don’t think they have the temperament to deal with me then at least I’ll know then and can move on. But it’s also so easy to embrace denial and pretend I don’t need healthcare, which I know is not the healthiest choice but is infinitely simpler and less painful. I’m still trying to talk myself into this and it’s not really going so well

 

[MeekMe]

Thank you for the reply Ropebunny. I am not sure how I will proceed. I’ve been brainstorming and I may need to ask someone to assist me with making an appointment (as well as helping me to get there). I’m not ready to ask for that help from the people around me yet. I don’t feel like that will ever happen at the moment.

 

[Ropebunny]

Thank you for the reply Ropebunny. I am not sure how I will proceed. I’ve been brainstorming and I may need to ask someone to assist me with making an appointment (as well as helping me to get there). I’m not ready to ask for that help from the people around me yet. I don’t feel like that will ever happen at the moment.

This stuff is just tough isn’t it. I hope you are in a place where it is safe to wait until you regain some strength to make that next step? Until then, please know that from the interactions we’ve had over time I see you as person of strength, especially in allowing those here to see some of the vulnerable sides of yourself. I wish I had the courage to do that more. Thank you for letting us see and learn from you

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

This stuff is just tough isn’t it. I hope you are in a place where it is safe to wait until you regain some strength to make that next step? Until then, please know that from the interactions we’ve had over time I see you as person of strength, especially in allowing those here to see some of the vulnerable sides of yourself. I wish I had the courage to do that more. Thank you for letting us see and learn from you

It is hard, and there are a lot of variables. You have to find:

• The right health care professional.
• Who is covered by your insurance, or is affordable, or willing to accept bartered glue-macaroni paintings.
• Who is accepting patients.
• Who has the approach you need.
• For the goal you hope to achieve.

I once switched from a general therapisty person who was...fine...to one who specialized in CBT, because I had a specific goal I wanted to achieve by a specific date. That switch made all the difference. But I was lucky that that individual was: good at what they did, available, nearby, covered by insurance, and got what I was trying to accomplish. Also, not a dick.

I think one thing that books can do is help make you aware of the expanding options out there. I’ve become interested recently in mental health options around rituals and altered states (see, “Am I Dreaming,” by James Kingsland). I’ve also been interested in and helped by the work of John Sarno. It’s helpful to know that there is more happening in mental health than we usually know and promises of more bubbling up in the future.

 

[MeekMe]

This stuff is just tough isn’t it. I hope you are in a place where it is safe to wait until you regain some strength to make that next step? Until then, please know that from the interactions we’ve had over time I see you as person of strength, especially in allowing those here to see some of the vulnerable sides of yourself. I wish I had the courage to do that more. Thank you for letting us see and learn from you

thank you

I am in a safe place, but I do not feel safe yet. At least not all the time. I think the more vulnerable side that is often seen here from me is more lashing out. Rage, sadness, deep depression until finally numb. I’m working through the numb phase right now.

I will have to come to a decision soon.

 

[MeekMe]

It is hard, and there are a lot of variables. You have to find:

• The right health care professional.
• Who is covered by your insurance, or is affordable, or willing to accept bartered glue-macaroni paintings.
• Who is accepting patients.
• Who has the approach you need.
• For the goal you hope to achieve.

I once switched from a general therapisty person who was...fine...to one who specialized in CBT, because I had a specific goal I wanted to achieve by a specific date. That switch made all the difference. But I was lucky that that individual was: good at what they did, available, nearby, covered by insurance, and got what I was trying to accomplish. Also, not a dick.

I think one thing that books can do is help make you aware of the expanding options out there. I’ve become interested recently in mental health options around rituals and altered states (see, “Am I Dreaming,” by James Kingsland). I’ve also been interested in and helped by the work of John Sarno. It’s helpful to know that there is more happening in mental health than we usually know and promises of more bubbling up in the future.

I think I’ll have to pick up a book once in a while. Finding someone is not going to be easy.

 

[sally_sparrow]

How does one get help after developing a fear of medical/mental health professionals and facilities?

I have the same fear. It took me a long time to find someone I trust. I talked to friends to narrow down providers that I thought I would work well with. There was some trial and error, but it helped a lot. I'm not sure how helpful that is to you, but I hope you are able to find someone you can trust. If nothing else, you are welcome to send me a message if you ever need to chat.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I have the same fear. It took me a long time to find someone I trust. I talked to friends to narrow down providers that I thought I would work well with. There was some trial and error, but it helped a lot. I'm not sure how helpful that is to you, but I hope you are able to find someone you can trust. If nothing else, you are welcome to send me a message if you ever need to chat.

Yes. Not to beat a simile into submission, but it’s a little like dating. You’ll probably have false starts until you find a decent fit. I think it’s easier because you’re not looking for “the one,” you’re looking for “a one.” Somebody who can simply move things forward, and that’s not a mile-high bar.

Online reviews help too.

 

[FurryFury]

Happily my oldest Pur is doing well now and thriving.

My mother OTOH is in the hospital but not due or at least not mostly due to mental health issues.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Happily my oldest Pur is doing well now and thriving.

My mother OTOH is in the hospital but not due or at least not mostly due to mental health issues.

Happy for your good news, but I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Hopefully she will recover quickly.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Does anyone know of resources I could look into, or support systems for spouse's of alcoholics? I've looked into attending Al-anon meetings here but due to COVID, nothing is being held in person. I can't talk to friends about what I'm going through because no one understands what it's like to live with an alcoholic. As much as I appreciate their support, I need something/someone that knows what I'm going through. Thanks, and hope you're all doing well