Men, what is the weirdest thing you have stuck your cock into?

Things we cant mention here was my first pussy. As a teen anything warm worked
 
Bahahaha!! Yeah if I was guy I would probably put my dick in a lot of odd things. Just looking at stuff and being like "hay I bet I could fuck that" lol
 
I warmed up a really big grapefruit in the microwave in my teen years...

LMAO!
 
I once managed to get the whole of a banana out of its skin by just chopping off an end and then massaging out the contents. It was a massive banana but I still managed to split the darn thing with my first shove. :eek:
 
rolled up bubble wrap with lube,rolled up panties, between couch cushions,sponge with rubber glove, none as good as a wet pussy
 
Just an idea....

This thread is hilarious! I don't have a cock but I once seen a video of a guy fucking a watermelon, he just drilled a hole big enough in the green part and had his way with it.....it was quite the sight, lol
 
A giant earthworm. :eek:

I warmed up a really big grapefruit in the microwave in my teen years...

LMAO!

I once managed to get the whole of a banana out of its skin by just chopping off an end and then massaging out the contents. It was a massive banana but I still managed to split the darn thing with my first shove. :eek:

I noticed a trend and was going to be snarky....

A shit filled mouth. Not weird or unusual to me but probably is to a lot of others.

....it died with ol'shitdick, here.
 
The only thing I have ever stuck my cock into is a woman. I must be missing out.
 
I cut a hole in a bologna and tried to fuck it. (got the idea from the movie "Vacation" . When I was a teen, living at home I tried to stick my dick between the cushions of our leather couch. And, yes. I tried the vacuum hose.
 
This thread is hilarious! I don't have a cock but I once seen a video of a guy fucking a watermelon, he just drilled a hole big enough in the green part and had his way with it.....it was quite the sight, lol

Brings back memories of a girl I used to date back in the 70s. She bought a watermelon at a roadside stand one summer and brought it home. We got to talking about crazy shit and it ended up with me cutting a hole in the watermelon and fucking it as she watched and masturbated. After I came, we split the watermelon open and each had a piece of the spermy fruit. (It needed salt.)

Then she licked the watermelon juices off my cock, which resulted in me getting another hard-on. I rubbed some of the watermelon on her cunt and nipples and licked them clean. The scene was so hot that I came again, as soon as I was inside her. Thanks to my surging hormones, it didn't take me long to reload and give her a proper fuck. To this day, I can't eat watermelon without getting aroused.
 
in the hyperhorny virginal years

I used to slide a plastic bag filled with water up and down on my cock. Then, I took it to another level and filled a plastic garbage bag and "fucked" it on my bed, with unfortunate consequences
 
One Autumn, I hollowed out several large zucchinis, summer squashes, and cucumbers until I got one with just the right fit. I taped it to the glass topped kitchen table with packing tape and fantasized that I had my niece bent over before me. It worked. They worked, seeing how I came in two of them. (I tried a third, but I rarely cum three times with a real woman, let alone a melon.

It was worth the effort because of the humorous memory I will have about the lengths to which I went that night to feel something more than my clenched fingers, but I doubt that I would go through that much work again. Ironically, I had a lover who would have made herself available to me that night, but instead, I chose the makings of a vegie plate instead.
 
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