Masochists

[hazel43]

I am a person who is aroused by pain. But the idea of becoming a submissive does not appeal to me much. Is there a place in this world for someone like me? It would be good to know if there are other masochists out there who enjoy relationships in which they are not dominated.

 

[Xelebes]

Yes there is. I don't how hard it would be to find a pure sadist to help you in this regard but there is place here for simple masochists.

 

[sincerely_helene]

I am a person who is aroused by pain. But the idea of becoming a submissive does not appeal to me much. Is there a place in this world for someone like me? It would be good to know if there are other masochists out there who enjoy relationships in which they are not dominated.

One key element to steer clear from is labels and/or stereotypes completly when searching for a mate.

The most naturally dominant persona I have ever met in my lifetime quite enjoys recieving pain, and had never heard of terms such as dominant, submissive, sadist, or masochist until it was explained. Perhaps that is what made him so much more real than most.

I'm content to believe that if you spend too much time trying to define yourself and those around you, you will miss the bullseye by a longshot.

Find someone who is of like mind, and that doesn't necessarily have to involve frequenting places that bare the title of S&M or fetish.

Be wary of people who approach this topic with a closed mind, because there really is no right or wrong as long as you and yours are happy.

You'll never be more alone than the moment you decide allow society to dictate what is proper.

 

[Seduce]

One key element to steer clear from is labels and/or stereotypes completly when searching for a mate.

The most naturally dominant persona I have ever met in my lifetime quite enjoys recieving pain, and had never heard of terms such as dominant, submissive, sadist, or masochist until it was explained. Perhaps that is what made him so much more real than most.

I'm content to believe that if you spend too much time trying to define yourself and those around you, you will miss the bullseye by a longshot.

Find someone who is of like mind, and that doesn't necessarily have to involve frequenting places that bare the title of S&M or fetish.

Be wary of people who approach this topic with a closed mind, because there really is no right or wrong as long as you and yours are happy.

You'll never be more alone than the moment you decide allow society to dictate what is proper.

Exactly my opinion too....... and that is why I refuse any labels really.

And what you say about naturally dominant, that is just what my husband is (except for the pain part).
I am truly afraid to even mention any D/s terms or my interest in those, for he may start to take deeper interest or even try to please me....... and that real and natural dominant that he is not aware of now might be ruined.

Thank you, Helene, for helping me form my thoughts for me.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Exactly my opinion too....... and that is why I refuse any labels really.

And what you say about naturally dominant, that is just what my husband is (except for the pain part).
I am truly afraid to even mention any D/s terms or my interest in those, for he may start to take deeper interest or even try to please me....... and that real and natural dominant that he is not aware of now might be ruined.

Thank you, Helene, for helping me form my thoughts for me.

Most welcome.

 

[rosco rathbone]

You have a duck in your decolletage, SH.


haha I said decolletage

 

[sincerely_helene]

You have a duck in your decolletage, SH.


haha I said decolletage

Well, duh! Where do you keep your ducks?

P.S. I had to look up decolletage to make sure you weren't insulting me.

 

[hazel43]

Yes there is. I don't how hard it would be to find a pure sadist to help you in this regard but there is place here for simple masochists.

Thanks for the encouragement. And thank you for sharing your mini-movie. It is very erotic

One key element to steer clear from is labels and/or stereotypes completly when searching for a mate.

Truely so! The labels and steroetypes created by society do not allow for the fact that people are constantly changing and growing.

I sincerely appreciate everyone's comments here I am so glad that I can explore these ideas.

 

[TaintedB]

I am a person who is aroused by pain. But the idea of becoming a submissive does not appeal to me much. Is there a place in this world for someone like me? It would be good to know if there are other masochists out there who enjoy relationships in which they are not dominated.

You wouldn't happen to live near SanFransciso would you? There are lots of people in that town into that scene (pure sadism and masochsim) and I might be able to put you in touch.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

You have a duck in your decolletage, SH.


haha I said decolletage

Well, duh! Where do you keep your ducks?

P.S. I had to look up decolletage to make sure you weren't insulting me.

Referring these posts to the Language Nazis... I think that in this case, the term to be used would be "duckolletage" ... wouldn't it?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I am a person who is aroused by pain. But the idea of becoming a submissive does not appeal to me much. Is there a place in this world for someone like me? It would be good to know if there are other masochists out there who enjoy relationships in which they are not dominated.

On a more serious note: As others have said above, there are those who are interested only in the SM "bandwidth" of BDSM, as well as those whose interests may be wider, but would consider an SM-only relationship, e.g., as "play partners." As in many of these threads, a good portion of my best advice is to get in touch with your local (or semi-local, if you're not in a metro area) group(s), attend munches, etc., and see who and what is available "at hand." Good luck to you!

 

[landcruisergal]

I am a masochist, and have on occassion played with a sadist purely for the pain.
( needles and violet wand) Nothing sexual in it for me, but he was aroused by it and masturbated.Didn't phase me at all, but I had clear stated limits and trusted him.
He is a skilled technician, has a well equipped playroom.
Unfortunately he became pushy and I had to stop seeing him. But yep, it was fun for a while.