Married Posters

['Ol Tex]

To "Shadeeladee"---

If you went "without" as long as I have.............you'd
"s-s-s-s-stutter" too !!!!!!

 

[maniac1967]

Must be thinking of that Billy Joel song where Catholic girls start much too late...

Nope... not that one.

Ever hear of the song "Catholic Girls In Trouble"?

 

[LingerieandLace]

A New Day ....
Good Morning and "Happy NUDE Year !"

 

[shadeeladee]

Re: To "Shadeeladee"---

If you went "without" as long as I have.............you'd
"s-s-s-s-stutter" too !!!!!!

Baby I'll bet my butt I've gone longer without!!! How many years we talkin'?

 

[shadeeladee]

Re: To "Shadeeladee"---

Sorry **keeps double posting

 

['Ol Tex]

Again to: Shadeeladee-

You bet your what??????? Oh you better be careful if you make a bet on this one girl!! I'm researching now as to who was President when the last time I "connected", (oops, sorry)...C'mon, it's put up or shut up time !!!! 'ol tex.

 

[_pebbles]

Well, it seems something new is on the horizon for me. I'm nervous, excited and desperately trying to stomp out any guilt/negative thoughts that are creeping in. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

 

[babydoll2u]

Well, it seems something new is on the horizon for me. I'm nervous, excited and desperately trying to stomp out any guilt/negative thoughts that are creeping in. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

fingers are crossed hun!

 

[njguy1002]

Well, it seems something new is on the horizon for me. I'm nervous, excited and desperately trying to stomp out any guilt/negative thoughts that are creeping in. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

good luck

 

[LingerieandLace]

I would like to say "Thank" for all of the fun and interesting post and pictures that this "Literotica Thread" has provided for all of us this past year of 2004.

Hoping that eyeryone here will Enjoy our "2005" and may it be filled with Fun and Excitement for all.

Also a very Special "Thanks' to All of the "Beautiful and Lovely Ladies" who have share with us here.

 

[hausfrau]

Well, it seems something new is on the horizon for me. I'm nervous, excited and desperately trying to stomp out any guilt/negative thoughts that are creeping in. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Yay!! Don't worry, guilt and/or remorse are fleeting emotions.

 

[zukethecuke]

Well, it seems something new is on the horizon for me. I'm nervous, excited and desperately trying to stomp out any guilt/negative thoughts that are creeping in. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Something new and horizontal? We'll cross anything you tell us to cross, pebbles!

 

[_pebbles]

Yay!! Don't worry, guilt and/or remorse are fleeting emotions.

Thank you, hausfrau! I'll try to stick with your line of thinking! I'm finding the anticipation to be completely intoxicating.

 

[AV guy II]

Well, it seems something new is on the horizon for me. I'm nervous, excited and desperately trying to stomp out any guilt/negative thoughts that are creeping in. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Pushing a new limit Pebbles? Sometimes the wait is more fun than the actual event. Anyways, good luck.

 

[lexxxiqon]

do tell!

Any more info for those of us living vicariously through you? (or perhaps living sympathetically with you...or perhaps just wanting to be inside you...)

Thank you, hausfrau! I'll try to stick with your line of thinking! I'm finding the anticipation to be completely intoxicating.

 

[bluespoke]

Pebbles

I'm sorry but your thread is chat and not a personal ad.

You should find yourself in the PG now.

Bluespoke

 

[HairTrigger]

Re: Re: Of Course Kozy-

Originally posted by babydoll2u .... but how long are you supposed to go without any sort of affection at all?
Been well over 2 years for me so far.........

Seven years and counting up here. Of course, her disabilities enter into it as well, so it's not a "choice" thing. Still...

 

[babydoll2u]

Re: Re: Re: Of Course Kozy-

Seven years and counting up here. Of course, her disabilities enter into it as well, so it's not a "choice" thing. Still...

I know
still....

 

[HairTrigger]

Pebbles

I'm sorry but your thread is chat and not a personal ad.

You should find yourself in the PG now.

Bluespoke

Umm -- what's this supposed to mean? Are you a moderator of some sort? Has Pebbles been put in a penalty box or something?

 

[GreenLover]

I was curious how many married posters/lurkers frequent the boards without the knowledge of their spouses. Do you feel your participation here has positively or negatively effected your marriage?

i am a married man, who spends most of the night on lit after the wife goes to bed. she does not know i post/write/show pics here, and i do not think it has affected our relationship.

i like to flirt, and lit provide a safe atmosphere to do so. there are so many delicious women here, it is nice to explore their sexuality and desires, without worrying about committing the big "A" word.

Flynn

 

[babydoll2u]

Umm -- what's this supposed to mean? Are you a moderator of some sort? Has Pebbles been put in a penalty box or something?

nope... the thread has been moved frm the personals forum to the Playground forum, that's all.
and yes, bluespoke is a moderator.

 

[Temple of the Heart]

I was curious how many married posters/lurkers frequent the boards without the knowledge of their spouses. Do you feel your participation here has positively or negatively effected your marriage?

Personally, my husband doesn't know. I'd like to include him at some point. I guess I'm enjoying flirtation with other men without his knowledge an exciting thing. We've been married my entire adult life. Flirting with other men is something I find I'm craving at this point in my life.

The following is a post that I made on the GB board just today and it seems to be more on topic for your question. This is how it has effected my "marraige" - when I recently accidently found out my SO was doing secret erotic cybering ( and phone calls to the house) with a woman here on Literotica.


Perhaps we could start a new Thread.

Here is the question I’d like to have us weigh in on:

Is secret cyber sex actually "cheating" and what is the impact of it on “married” couples? ( secret = hidden from the significant other, married = living together commitment relationship, etc.)

I will make some general observations and conclusions about this kind of situation based on my recent experience.

I say yes – it is cheating.

The creative energy that gets redirected from the primary relationship to "cultivate" a cyber affair is equivalent to a direct withdrawal of funds (or resources) from the couples’ bank account - done secretly. When this hidden draining off of resources continues for any length of time - and becomes part of a daily or weekly rhythm - the primary relationship becomes undermined and distorted – energetically impoverished. With fewer “cushions” (the nest egg of “emotional reserves” like love and trust etc. being secretly depleted) problems that normally would resolve just don't and small upsets can become exaggerated. An accumulation of bad feelings builds between H & W from the unresolved small disputes and the ensuing power struggles thus gathering an ever increasing cache of negative charge (baggage). There is a loss of the good reserves and an accrual of the negative stuff and the increased liability of “potentially being found out” with the attendant potential destruction of the primary relationship, that’s the big hidden cost.

How does this work ? Multiple effects that I have noted:

The conflicts won't resolve because the underlying truth of what is going on with the SO's energy is hidden and there is less attention and energy to resolve the normal conflicts. The cheating spouse is "less present" (preoccupied with guilt and fantasy of what could be with the mistress) and he has an escape hatch where short term it seems easier to avoid the displeasure of a real woman and just retreat into a cyber world where resides the cyber mistress adoring and giving "unconditional acceptance" to the persona that he creates, she energized by her own projections that her ideal man is nibbling on the line. ( this is one of the more convoluted sentence that I have ever written – this document is obviously a “draft” – work in progress - at least I am thinking..)

Anyway…on some level – psychically, emotionally - the betrayed spouse senses she is betrayed; it shows in subtle ways - the lack of full engagement by her spouse – she with an eroded sense of trust and a rising sense of suspicion. None of these foundational components for the success of the primary relationship.

There is an unarticulated, subterranean rearrangement of the normal power sharing or power balance in the primary relationship caused by the hidden “triangulation”. The unknowing spouse is blinding having to negotiate the balance of power inside of the primary relationship with her cheating spouse – unaware that he has a partner in crime – who is encouraging a redirection of his attention / energy resources and throwing her weight in his corner. Mistress wants his attention – he wants her idolization and ego pumping. Where he may have yielded in the past to the wife – he now can resist (more power on his team). Tension in the primary builds – wife more critical – husband withdrawing further – more righteous – justifying his withdrawal - getting more solace from the cyber mistress – his yearning to be with an “unconditionally accepting” woman grows – the mistress becomes the savior – the wife the bitch that she is saving him from. The dwindling spiral: more upsets - deeper polarization – more separation – more upset. What incredible destruction this brings to the original foundational feeling of union with the primary couple.

My only solution is to have the “cheaters” come clean. Truth liberates. Honesty lubricates the social fabric. It may be messy at first but the air will eventually clear. In time the beauty of “coming back into union” by telling the truth by eliminating “the withholds” will allow the restoration of a loving mutually nurturing life together. The husband needs to be more overt (and not covert or passive aggressive ) about asking for what he wants and in the primary relationship – the wife needs to listen more carefully be more receptive to his requests The internal balance of power gets renegotiated or reestablished based on revelation of more honestly expressed needs and wants - so that it can serve both of them. Potential cyber mistresses need to think twice before triangulating with a couple. Couple energy is very complex and powerful and if you get involved you need to have your eyes open. Does the husband have a permission slip to do cyber erotic play? When you buy into an established couple situation - you are playing with fire.

Thanks for letting me think out loud – this is just a beginning and really an invitation for us to think together with some collective intelligence on this 21st century phenomenon.

I am not totally a virgin here. I know some of you will chew on me – spit me out and barf and all that but:
better still - forgo my virgin flesh and chew on the ideas.

Rather than condemning the phenomenon and effect of cyber cheating and those who do it – let us all be cultural anthropologists and bring a curiosity to these dynamics. Insight can’t hurt. Ignorance is a dearth to all of us.


The following is a poem that I wrote as I worked through the
impact of my SO's secret erotic cybering. I often use poetry
as way to heal my own psyche - as a way of processing the tough stuff and this is a good example.

"Affair as Sacred Sin" by Temple of the Heart ©


I think of You - I think of Him
of the stolen intimacy,
of your affair as "sacred sin"

"You took something from me !"
Resentment bleats out with Consternation.
Rat ta tat tat - machine gun accusations
Fire into cold silent night.


Then ....The "Undeserved One"
(some "broken" part of me)
strains to see....
Looking into the Dark
She Starts asking questions of me:
"How, perhaps, Invisibly
Was I Gifted in Return?
How, Perhaps Invisible to me
My Soul Conspired
To Create with You - You Two
The Perfect Situation
Where by We All could Learn
The Perfect Situation
Upon which We All could chew....

What is here now?
I see an ease in his face
A peaceful repose
Something released
Some part of him Knows
Something changed.

A New Coherence Inside
Released from the Tension
Of Needing to Hide
Relieved from the Tension
of Love gone awry
Love gone astray...
Ground Down by Dishonesty.

"Its easier this way"
he lets me know;

The equivocation
the ambivalence
the dissonance
the generation of doubt and pain -
Gone Quiet Now.
And Rarely Show.

Settled Now
A New Commitment to Me
His Commitment to Honesty
Settled into Place
Nestled into Grace
From Where Emerges a We
Vetted through the Flames of Honesty
Embraced in Natural Harmony

We Walk away from this
"Involuntary Three"
With a Deeper "We".

Yes, This is What was
Returned unto me:

A Deeper We.

And what of the Third?
What did She Receive
From this "Conspiracy" of Souls?
What did She Learn on this Journey
that might serve her well?

Pray Tell?

Woman - Pray Tell.

January 14, 2005

 

[skloves]

Curiousity and a desire for some spark has gotten me into the scene. I am liking it so far.

 

[happy2bhubby]

Wonderfull post, heart felt and creative. You do deserve total effort.

Your rational may explain a part of my accepteance of my cuckold state. Yes I too love to hear the truth and wonder dear how the other party's heart beats.

 

[Temple of the Heart]

"Affair as Sacred Sin" ?

Wonderfull post, heart felt and creative. You do deserve total effort.

Your rational may explain a part of my accepteance of my cuckold state. Yes I too love to hear the truth and wonder dear how the other party's heart beats.

H2BH - were you commenting on my post?

I am perhaps overly eager for feed back - I am new on these boards.

Acceptance of your cuckold state - could you say more?

Temple of the Heart