Marriage and Relationships

[NightOfPassion2]

I'm trying!

Qudos for trying. Marriage aint for the weak.

 

[Anomaly1964]

Been married 22 years...

I know I am not a perfect husband but the fact is I am still here for my wife and children...

I am a Christian and I still come here secretly; that does NOT make me a hypocrite, it makes me HUMAN...

I love my wife but we are WORLDS apart sexually; that said, I didn't come here for solutions or counseling, just for a bit of discreet fun...

 

[WearMeWell]

Been married 22 years...

I know I am not a perfect husband but the fact is I am still here for my wife and children...

I am a Christian and I still come here secretly; that does NOT make me a hypocrite, it makes me HUMAN...

I love my wife but we are WORLDS apart sexually; that said, I didn't come here for solutions or counseling, just for a bit of discreet fun...

*Smile~ Hello Anomoly1964~
Congratulations on your 22 years of marriage.

i have stopped believing that there can be/are "perfect wives" or "perfect husbands."- people are just people; trying, working, flawed, complicated, emotional humans.

imo-, we WILL fall/let-down/disappoint.- we're human. but it's the getting back up and trying, and working on it, that counts.

that doesnt mean it will be "perfect" or even "much better"-- it just means, we're trying, and we're working on it.

what else could we do?? we're either trying and working it in our relationship/marriage,...or trying and working it to get out of, and over, our relationship/marriage, and,... eventually(because we're human and wired for relationships of whatever sort), we're trying and working on it in some other relationship or marriage.

so..try. and work on it. it's how all of life gets done.

 

[Mockingjay]

-rolls eyes-

Everyone is human here. Please do not use that as an excuse....

 

[Anomaly1964]

***personal edit

 

[tasteyourthighs]

I dunno..

Just want to start a conversation and talk and share. Try and figure things out , been single way to long , girlfriend is busy , I am busy .....work , work , work. Then catch up on bills and things, where do you go from there?

 

[WearMeWell]

Just want to start a conversation and talk and share. Try and figure things out , been single way to long , girlfriend is busy , I am busy .....work , work , work. Then catch up on bills and things, where do you go from there?

(i may have read your post wrong,-- so correct me if i missed it.-- but this is where my brain is this morning)


well, personally, i got so sick of the 'work,work,work,.." and "way too buys" that i had two options: get pissy about out(yah. i said the p work outright. ME!...go figure. one of those days i guess...)- OR, i could do something else.

i chose to tackle him, in the car, in the driveway as soon as he drove up.
it was good, too!

it worked, -- for about two hours. then it was back to busy, busy, busy. made me sad.

i got flowers three days later, though.(he doesnt like buying flowers;thinks they are a waste of money. but he knows i like them, so he did. so yah...that was a moment.)


i met him in the shower the next morning.-- he complained that i made us both late for work...but he asked for me to join him in the shower again the next morning. and still asks from time to time.

so, i guess my point is...
we choose what we focus on. we can choose to focus on the negative,...or we can take a positive tack, and actually maintain or gain ground in a negative situation.

where do you go from here? get creative, - do the little things.- a stcky note, flowers, an " IOU- "a lunch date"...etc. they add up, and count towards big rewards.

 

[smallgirl]

Qudos for trying. Marriage aint for the weak.

No its not. My mom actually gave me some really good advice ..and she typically keeps out of my marriage. She told me sometimes women just have to learn to bite your tongue and let shit go.

That's very hard for me to do, but I'm trying.

 

[smallgirl]

(i may have read your post wrong,-- so correct me if i missed it.-- but this is where my brain is this morning)


well, personally, i got so sick of the 'work,work,work,.." and "way too buys" that i had two options: get pissy about out(yah. i said the p work outright. ME!...go figure. one of those days i guess...)- OR, i could do something else.

i chose to tackle him, in the car, in the driveway as soon as he drove up.
it was good, too!

it worked, -- for about two hours. then it was back to busy, busy, busy. made me sad.

i got flowers three days later, though.(he doesnt like buying flowers;thinks they are a waste of money. but he knows i like them, so he did. so yah...that was a moment.)


i met him in the shower the next morning.-- he complained that i made us both late for work...but he asked for me to join him in the shower again the next morning. and still asks from time to time.

so, i guess my point is...
we choose what we focus on. we can choose to focus on the negative,...or we can take a positive tack, and actually maintain or gain ground in a negative situation.

where do you go from here? get creative, - do the little things.- a stcky note, flowers, an " IOU- "a lunch date"...etc. they add up, and count towards big rewards.

Exactly. Hubby is always exhausted...especially mentally. He'd worked 7 days straight last week while I was home studying all week. But when I asked him to get out and go to Sam's with me after work, he said yes.

Its trying at least.

 

[WearMeWell]

Just want to start a conversation and talk and share. Try and figure things out , been single way to long , girlfriend is busy , I am busy .....work , work , work. Then catch up on bills and things, where do you go from there?

oh, and...welcome btw. (caught me on a ranty day. *strap yourself in!)

i just saw/read your nick.

wow. lol~

 

[smallgirl]

The hardest part for me right now is getting the passion we once had back. Its gone completely ..and I can't go back and think about what attracted me to him 22 years ago. I'm different ...the same things aren't attractive to me at 43 that was at 21. Its hard.

 

[WearMeWell]

Exactly. Hubby is always exhausted...especially mentally. He'd worked 7 days straight last week while I was home studying all week. But when I asked him to get out and go to Sam's with me after work, he said yes.

Its trying at least.

*nods heartily. 'XACTLYYYY!!!! *does a little jig, complete with raise the roof stuffs...skips the twerk.

you know, we went skating yesterday, and, it wasnt for us, but for our kids and their friends. we ha a cook out planned here, at the house when skating was over, and, in truth, by the time it was time to leave for skating, i REALLY wanted to make excuses to stay home and finish some stuff i didnt think was finished enough, and make some more side dishes to go with the entree's we had.
BUT, i knew that would put a huge wet blanket on things. so i went.
when i told husband how id failed to get everything done(a painful fail for me), he, without complaining, stopped by the store on the way home and picked up a few things to go with what we had.
i was...shocked? surprised?...both. and Very appreciative.

he tried. he tried without complaining or deriding me.
it was a wow moment.
and everything went great because of it!

 

[smallgirl]

*nods heartily. 'XACTLYYYY!!!! *does a little jig, complete with raise the roof stuffs...skips the twerk.

you know, we went skating yesterday, and, it wasnt for us, but for our kids and their friends. we ha a cook out planned here, at the house when skating was over, and, in truth, by the time it was time to leave for skating, i REALLY wanted to make excuses to stay home and finish some stuff i didnt think was finished enough, and make some more side dishes to go with the entree's we had.
BUT, i knew that would put a huge wet blanket on things. so i went.
when i told husband how id failed to get everything done(a painful fail for me), he, without complaining, stopped by the store on the way home and picked up a few things to go with what we had.
i was...shocked? surprised?...both. and Very appreciative.

he tried. he tried without complaining or deriding me.
it was a wow moment.
and everything went great because of it!

Its the little stuff. Last Thursday we had another lunch date. Standing at the counter he puts his arm around me and hugs me to him....in front of people at that! A big wow moment for me. HUGE!

 

[WearMeWell]

The hardest part for me right now is getting the passion we once had back. Its gone completely ..and I can't go back and think about what attracted me to him 22 years ago. I'm different ...the same things aren't attractive to me at 43 that was at 21. Its hard.

I understand this one! a lot!

this is where you get to get your kinky on, sugar!
i know it's hard, and weird and uncomfortable...sort of like middle school and trying to actually TELL a person you like them, instead of "do you like me, check YES, or NO" notes..


but- *pause*
*side blurt~ i recommend waiting until your IN bed, and actually doing things to spring something on him...
maybe in between kisses and fondling say "mind of i try...*add thing here*?"

maybe make sure he's hot before asking bigger/better/kinkier things.
lol~

but in all seriousness...*tries to be/look more serious*
you are both different people now. dont be surprised if he is finding he is wondering what he likes sexually now, too.

 

[smallgirl]

*nods heartily. 'XACTLYYYY!!!! *does a little jig, complete with raise the roof stuffs...skips the twerk.

you know, we went skating yesterday, and, it wasnt for us, but for our kids and their friends. we ha a cook out planned here, at the house when skating was over, and, in truth, by the time it was time to leave for skating, i REALLY wanted to make excuses to stay home and finish some stuff i didnt think was finished enough, and make some more side dishes to go with the entree's we had.
BUT, i knew that would put a huge wet blanket on things. so i went.
when i told husband how id failed to get everything done(a painful fail for me), he, without complaining, stopped by the store on the way home and picked up a few things to go with what we had.
i was...shocked? surprised?...both. and Very appreciative.

he tried. he tried without complaining or deriding me.
it was a wow moment.
and everything went great because of it!

Don't you just hate it when us super moms fail to meet our own standards?
Oh the pressure we put on ourselves. My girls are grown, successful beautiful young women...so not as much pressure for me there now. School is where I put the pressure on myself....do I ever!

 

[WearMeWell]

Its the little stuff. Last Thursday we had another lunch date. Standing at the counter he puts his arm around me and hugs me to him....in front of people at that! A big wow moment for me. HUGE!

WOOT~ *grabs small girl in ajumpy jiggy thingy here...

YES! YES!! YES!!!~
*needs to stop exclaiming like im close to orgasm....~

*deep announcer voice~ "This is WMW~. This is WMW on too much caffeine, thinking about things and *Swallow~ touches she cant have right now.

i LOVE those moments!!
SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!

 

[WearMeWell]

Don't you just hate it when us super moms fail to meet our own standards?
Oh the pressure we put on ourselves. My girls are grown, successful beautiful young women...so not as much pressure for me there now. School is where I put the pressure on myself....do I ever!

pfft~ girrllll, *shakes head~ you have no idea how "perfect" i am supposed to be.
and wow, the consequences, when i dont meet it. *sigh~

sometimes, i think a full time job pulling doubles would be a relief.-- then i remember how lazy i am
LOL~

 

[WearMeWell]

you know...i just re-read my post.
considering where we are...i probably should have phrased that differently.

 

[sereneone4u]

-rolls eyes-

Everyone is human here. Please do not use that as an excuse....

*rolls eyes back*

Shut the fuck up.

 

[WearMeWell]

*rolls eyes back*

Shut the fuck up.

HEY! HEY!...
she said please. so, it would be

Please, shut the F8ck up.

 

[smallgirl]

WOOT~ *grabs small girl in ajumpy jiggy thingy here...

YES! YES!! YES!!!~
*needs to stop exclaiming like im close to orgasm....~

*deep announcer voice~ "This is WMW~. This is WMW on too much caffeine, thinking about things and *Swallow~ touches she cant have right now.

i LOVE those moments!!
SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!

Lol...girl you always make me laugh!

 

[smallgirl]

pfft~ girrllll, *shakes head~ you have no idea how "perfect" i am supposed to be.
and wow, the consequences, when i dont meet it. *sigh~

sometimes, i think a full time job pulling doubles would be a relief.-- then i remember how lazy i am
LOL~

What I run into concerning the pressure I put on myself is at school. Nursing is a SELECTIVE admission program! Not everyone gets in. You want in? You better hope you have the GPA to get in! So that means I do homework 24/7 and I study and I listen and I stay after to talk to the professors! The other student's do not get that!

Thankfully I can say hubby understands this and lets me be me.

 

[WearMeWell]

What I run into concerning the pressure I put on myself is at school. Nursing is a SELECTIVE admission program! Not everyone gets in. You want in? You better hope you have the GPA to get in! So that means I do homework 24/7 and I study and I listen and I stay after to talk to the professors! The other student's do not get that!

Thankfully I can say hubby understands this and lets me be me.

*smile~ i am Thiiiiiiiis close *holds fingers up with a scant tiny space between them~ close to licensing in several medical professions. i understand.
When all my children are grown, nursing is next on the list.

congratulations and...im rooting for you!

 

[smallgirl]

*smile~ i am Thiiiiiiiis close *holds fingers up with a scant tiny space between them~ close to licensing in several medical professions. i understand.
When all my children are grown, nursing is next on the list.

congratulations and...im rooting for you!

Thank you! It is what I have always wanted to do (nursing). I have raised my girls, and have 2 wonderful adult children..now it is MY TURN!

 

[WearMeWell]

Thank you! It is what I have always wanted to do (nursing). I have raised my girls, and have 2 wonderful adult children..now it is MY TURN!