Making love to a Transexual, does that make you gay?

[Sinon]

If one makes love to a Tranny, are you gay or straight? All female except for that special treat!

 

[gaymm]

Uh, no. Having emotional and physical attractions to the same sex is a strong indicator that you are gay. But I don't have any direct experience with your question.

 

[Sinon]

I see

 

[mynameiskate]

Well, I don't know. That's a hard one. Do you enjoy that "special treat"? Do you think you'd enjoy it if it didn't come along with him looking like a woman?

 

[Missouribiguy]

Hmmmm, this is a rather iffy subject here. I view that you shouldn't view that said transgendered woman as a male, but as a woman with a little difference.

Of course, to be honest, my past problems with transgenders online makes me look the worst to talk about this subject.

 

[Etoile]

This is why we have words like pansexual and omnisexual.

 

[blklthrjkt]

Amen! I consider myself a Gay Man, but I play with men and women so in practice I am pansexual.

 

[Gi_Venus]

If one makes love to a Tranny, are you gay or straight? All female except for that special treat!

Well Sinon, we do consider ourselves women regardless of where in transition we are. I think that is a personal choice on how one would feel.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Hmmmm, this is a rather iffy subject here. I view that you shouldn't view that said transgendered woman as a male, but as a woman with a little difference.

Of course, to be honest, my past problems with transgenders online makes me look the worst to talk about this subject.

lol if you think of her as a male for Gods sake do not tell her so unless you are dealing with a FTM. Our Gender Dysphoria can be quite maddening.

 

[Epic_Thoughts]

Well Sinon, we do consider ourselves women regardless of where in transition we are. I think that is a personal choice on how one would feel.

This here is how I see it. If a TG/TV considers herself to be a woman, you, as her lover, shouldn't even consider it an issue. Besides, being so hung up on titles like that isn't really a healthy thing. Just enjoy a good thing.

 

[Gi_Venus]

This here is how I see it. If a TG/TV considers herself to be a woman, you, as her lover, shouldn't even consider it an issue. Besides, being so hung up on titles like that isn't really a healthy thing. Just enjoy a good thing.

For me it is about connection anymore, more than anything. I really do not worry about the sex of someone if I feel a bond. When it comes to opportunity, as a MTF transsexual, men seem to be more interested but then again, I do not get out and mix enough, it could be a lopsided assessment.

Now my family they think of me being with a man as being gay. *sigh* lol I need to divorce them.

 

[kingkhan1]

I don't think its gay but, I think bi men are more inclined to be attracted to mtf transsexuals. And society as a whole would think it made you gay but, society as a whole only seems to be capable as viewing sexuality as your gay or straight.

 

[Etoile]

I like what Epic_Thoughts said. Titles aren't evil, they're useful and should be used appropriately. But getting hung up on them, dwelling too much, is unhealthy. Yes, I like that a lot.

 

[none2_none2]

Labels are very good if you are trying to watch what kinds of foods you eat.

However, for people it is nothing but a short cut to actually knowing the person.

I can say: That is a lesbian, a gay man, a handicapped person, a person of a particular race, a person of a particular religion. However, unless we are dealing with twins, you'll probably find plenty of differences between people. I think we are probably ALL guilty of some kind of labeling. Lots of times, unfortunately, there just isn't time in our busy lives.

Something that takes some really getting used to is sometimes people that look, act like us and even come from the same background can be as foreign to us as someone from another planet. For instance, sometimes I feel the most foreign with other non-str8 men. Like, I really cannot relate to men that enjoy gender bending -- whether it is for comedy or a sexual fetish. In my mind, that is similar to a white person who puts on a black face -- it seems rather insulting. However, I lost the anger over that a long time ago. I figured if I meet so FEW women that are upset by it, then I shouldn't be upset either. It still seams really silly, but no one is forcing me to participate or be around people in to that, so I'm ok with it.

 

[Phydeax69]

labels suck....how about just being "sexual"???

Love men, women whatever!

It's LOVE it's sex...if it feels good DO it! (I know, HOW cliche`)

 

[Etoile]

Labels are very good if you are trying to watch what kinds of foods you eat.

However, for people it is nothing but a short cut to actually knowing the person.

I can say: That is a lesbian, a gay man, a handicapped person, a person of a particular race, a person of a particular religion. However, unless we are dealing with twins, you'll probably find plenty of differences between people. I think we are probably ALL guilty of some kind of labeling. Lots of times, unfortunately, there just isn't time in our busy lives.

I disagree. I know this thread isn't quite about labeling, but I just want to say that I think labels are an introduction to knowing a person. If I tell you I am a lesbian, you know exactly one thing about me: I like women, not men. You don't know if I'm a macho butch dyke or a lipstick lesbian, you don't know what I wear, you don't know who I'm married to (male/female), you don't know anything about me except that I like women, not men. But knowing that puts you in the right frame of mind to discuss the other issues with me. That's just an example, but I think labels are a handy thing...but like Epic_Thoughts said, we shouldn't dwell on them.

 

[Phydeax69]

I disagree. I know this thread isn't quite about labeling, but I just want to say that I think labels are an introduction to knowing a person. If I tell you I am a lesbian, you know exactly one thing about me: I like women, not men. You don't know if I'm a macho butch dyke or a lipstick lesbian, you don't know what I wear, you don't know who I'm married to (male/female), you don't know anything about me except that I like women, not men. But knowing that puts you in the right frame of mind to discuss the other issues with me. That's just an example, but I think labels are a handy thing...but like Epic_Thoughts said, we shouldn't dwell on them.

Exactly! If I tell you I'm married and bi, you would automatically think that I'm just a frustrated married guy and should probably have not gotten married, but it's all about WHO you love, not what KIND of love it is! If the time was right and I was with another GUY when I fell in love then things would be different....but I'd still have an affection for women! I LOVE humans, and love to have sexual relations with humans....no matter what equipment they are carrying!

(btw...Etoile, I wish you'd like married guys! I LOVE the pics I've seen!)

 

[none2_none2]

I disagree. I know this thread isn't quite about labeling, but I just want to say that I think labels are an introduction to knowing a person. If I tell you I am a lesbian, you know exactly one thing about me: I like women, not men. You don't know if I'm a macho butch dyke or a lipstick lesbian, you don't know what I wear, you don't know who I'm married to (male/female), you don't know anything about me except that I like women, not men. But knowing that puts you in the right frame of mind to discuss the other issues with me. That's just an example, but I think labels are a handy thing...but like Epic_Thoughts said, we shouldn't dwell on them.

I guess we will simply never agree on this. I see too many times that labels either make you into some kind of "National Geographic" oddity to be observed if the other person is from some other group. Or it puts the other person in a false state of we are of "like minds" when the other person uses that label for him/her self.

When I have the time, I find it more interesting to figure out another person by what they say and do as it unravels over whatever time there is to unravel. The labels are shortcuts, but other than the time savings they have done very little for me. I'm male, but don't expect me to want to watch sports with you or be able to fix your car if it stops on you. I'm a gay male, but don't expect me to say women are unattractive, or that I crave cock, or that I am only capable of non-monogamous couplings, or that I can decorate your house or give dressing/make-up tips to a woman. I'm Catholic, but don't expect me to have any good fish recepies or be good at kneeling, or teach you how to say the rosary. I may be a programmer, but you won't find me talking about the latest programming techniques.

In regards to careers, I have always admired how usually blue collar people tend to say: "I work here." or "I do/make this thing at work." Where as white collar tend to say something like: "I am a _____________". I tend to like the blue collar approach not only for career description but in terms of all of the labels one might wear for themself.

Note that I don't get angry at labels. However, they just don't serve me and I don't think they server others well either. Rather, I find them somewhat comical. For instance, I think that WAY to many of the comments on this board (including this thread) by guys are... "Will ____________ mean that I'm GAY!?!?". The gay label has become such an undesirable label, the people need to move it out to the fringes of meaning almost to the point of absurdity:

"You can have all your vagina-challenged friends (or strangers for that matter) gather around you and cum on you, in your mouth, in your ass, in your ears, in your nose. You can even put on lipstick, and wear panties and a bra. But rest assured that as long as you don't say "I love you", "Will you marry me", or "You look handsome" , or some other wimpy phrase to any of them (excepting of course the pre-op transsexuals), you can rest assured that you are definitely NOT gay."

 

[gaymm]

I guess we will simply never agree on this. I see too many times that labels either make you into some kind of "National Geographic" oddity to be observed if the other person is from some other group. Or it puts the other person in a false state of we are of "like minds" when the other person uses that label for him/her self.

When I have the time, I find it more interesting to figure out another person by what they say and do as it unravels over whatever time there is to unravel. The labels are shortcuts, but other than the time savings they have done very little for me. I'm male, but don't expect me to want to watch sports with you or be able to fix your car if it stops on you. I'm a gay male, but don't expect me to say women are unattractive, or that I crave cock, or that I am only capable of non-monogamous couplings, or that I can decorate your house or give dressing/make-up tips to a woman. I'm Catholic, but don't expect me to have any good fish recepies or be good at kneeling, or teach you how to say the rosary. I may be a programmer, but you won't find me talking about the latest programming techniques.

In regards to careers, I have always admired how usually blue collar people tend to say: "I work here." or "I do/make this thing at work." Where as white collar tend to say something like: "I am a _____________". I tend to like the blue collar approach not only for career description but in terms of all of the labels one might wear for themself.

Note that I don't get angry at labels. However, they just don't serve me and I don't think they server others well either. Rather, I find them somewhat comical. For instance, I think that WAY to many of the comments on this board (including this thread) by guys are... "Will ____________ mean that I'm GAY!?!?". The gay label has become such an undesirable label, the people need to move it out to the fringes of meaning almost to the point of absurdity:

"You can have all your vagina-challenged friends (or strangers for that matter) gather around you and cum on you, in your mouth, in your ass, in your ears, in your nose. You can even put on lipstick, and wear panties and a bra. But rest assured that as long as you don't say "I love you", "Will you marry me", or "You look handsome" , or some other wimpy phrase to any of them (excepting of course the pre-op transsexuals), you can rest assured that you are definitely NOT gay."

I agree with most of what you say except, I feel the other way about "The gay label has become such an undesirable label..." I am 46 and nothing was more difficult than growing up in the 60s and 70s as a gay catholic. IMHO, today, being gay, compared to what used to be, is celebrated.

Maybe I dont understand your implications, but why oh why is saying "I love you...you are handsome" or for that matter, you have beautiful eyes, or a sexy smile, "wimpy?"

 

[none2_none2]

I agree with most of what you say except, I feel the other way about "The gay label has become such an undesirable label..." I am 46 and nothing was more difficult than growing up in the 60s and 70s as a gay catholic. IMHO, today, being gay, compared to what used to be, is celebrated.

Maybe I dont understand your implications, but why oh why is saying "I love you...you are handsome" or for that matter, you have beautiful eyes, or a sexy smile, "wimpy?"

I would agree that there is less stigma about the word gay now than when it first was used in the mainstream media. When I was a kid (I'm almost 49.) I associated homosexuality with characters like Dr Smith from "Lost in Space". Or someone who might look like Pee Wee Herman (obviously that character came later, but I mean that "look" -- slimy, icky). So it was definitely not something I ever wanted to be like.

What I meant by "wimpy" was from the stand point of someone so desperate to distance themselves from the "gay" label. Some of these guys would rather eat another guys sh@#$%t than kiss a guy, tell him he is attractive, or tell him he loves him because that would be the final nail on the coffin that they have done something TOO gay.

In my head I visualize those movies in the 40's and 50's where they overacted on certain topics. Imagine the sheer terror on the face of such a guy. "Buddy, give me your cock, take my ass, use my mouth, you and your friends and put your baby batter all over me and in me, but PLEEEAAAASSSEEE don't make me GAY!!!"

 

[gaymm]

I would agree that there is less stigma about the word gay now than when it first was used in the mainstream media. When I was a kid (I'm almost 49.) I associated homosexuality with characters like Dr Smith from "Lost in Space". Or someone who might look like Pee Wee Herman (obviously that character came later, but I mean that "look" -- slimy, icky). So it was definitely not something I ever wanted to be like.

What I meant by "wimpy" was from the stand point of someone so desperate to distance themselves from the "gay" label. Some of these guys would rather eat another guys sh@#$%t than kiss a guy, tell him he is attractive, or tell him he loves him because that would be the final nail on the coffin that they have done something TOO gay.

In my head I visualize those movies in the 40's and 50's where they overacted on certain topics. Imagine the sheer terror on the face of such a guy. "Buddy, give me your cock, take my ass, use my mouth, you and your friends and put your baby batter all over me and in me, but PLEEEAAAASSSEEE don't make me GAY!!!"

K, thanks

but to "those" people, I don't have the time of day. I don't mind being "labeled 'gay'" I am not in your face, but I am not in the closet either. If I want to hold hands or kiss a date, then I am going to do it. I think the more it happens the more reasonable and rational people will come to accept it as mainstream and that we are not going to take over the world and turn their sons/fathers/husbands gay.

 

[CJontherocks]

I think you're allowed to choose a label if you like, and also choose to abstain from labeling if you like. I do not believe having sex with a transgendered person makes you gay in itself. There are certainly other factors involved as to the intensity and duration of your attractions at any level; not to mention the many different views and opinions on what constitutes homosexuality. I think someone asked the question, "If a gay man has sex with a woman, does that make him straight?"

Labels can be a good thing only in terms of how you use them. A child who is labeled "exceptional" can qualify for special education and services to overcome the handicaps society imposes on him/her. Conversely, this label has no place in the schoolyard and only serves to segregate and alienate. Likewise, the "gay" label can be used to describe a group of people with needs that must be met by the whole of society. But labeling such as this is crass at best, and purposeless at any other time.

It would be nice if labels weren't needed, but the reality is that they can unfortunately sometimes serve a useful purpose in society. If I'm not mistaken, the term "gay" evolved in order to eliminate the stigma associated with other more derisive terms.

Uh oh... getting off your main thread topic.

Uhhhh... no. Making love to a trans-gendered person does not make you gay. (Did I use that term correctly?)

 

[borborite]

Don't worry about whether it is "gay" or "straight." The labels don't matter.

- Jesse