MAD Libs

[MathGirl]

Dear DG

A nowne (behare of your spelling) is a member of a class of words that typically can be combined or not with other words as articles, possessives, demonstratives, or quantifiers that make their denotation specific to serve as the subject of the grammatical center of a predicate, can be interpreted as singular or plural, can be replaced with a pronoun when named or understood in the context, and refer to an entity, quality, state, action, or concept.

Dear Lauren,
Awww, fuck that. It's to hard.
MG, DG's secretary

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Thingy.

 

[MathGirl]

Thingy.

Oh, that's easy enough. Why didn't someone just say so. Even DurtGurl can grasp that.
MG

 

[Lauren Hynde]

And I put in a Gerund just for you.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Gaaaaaaaaaaahh!!! It's the return of the Gerunds!

Everybody run for your life!!!

 

[Angeline]

Ok Lauren Baby

here you go:

1. Noun trapeze
2. Noun, Plural hormones
3. Noun, Plural batteries
4. Noun, Abstract concept
5. Adjective palpitating
6. Adjective breathless
7. Verb, Transitive, Present Tense caress
8. Verb, Intransitive, Present Tense explode
9. Geographical Terrain forest

 

[Guest]

oh what fun it is to...

10. Noun kumquat
11. Noun, Plural virgins
12. Noun, Plural postcards
13. Noun, Abstract thought
14. Adjective achey
15. Verb, Transitive, Past Tense lifted
16. Verb, Transitive, Present Tense steal
17. Verb, Intransitive, Present Tense sit
18. Body Part vulva

Lauren-

Thanks for resurrecting this! I am eager to see the results.

b

 

[Lauren Hynde]

So am I, really

 

[Guest]

bump bump bump

Okay, you lit authors!

finish Lauren's list!

PLEASE

b

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: The Bell Tolls for DP and MG

Svenska, I didn't know your husband had a foot fetish!

Eeeeh... huh?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

This is highly irregular, but if no one else wants to join in, I'll have to play too. (Don't worry, I can't remember which words go where -- or where I took this from, for that matter, so it should be ok.)


19. Noun: logarithm
20. Noun, Plural: shackles
21. Noun, Plural: fluids
22. Noun, Abstract: sainthood
23. Adjective: frenetic
24. Verb, Transitive, Present Tense: revere
25. Verb, Transitive, Present Tense, Third Person: examines
26. Verb, Intransitive, Present Tense: loiter
27. Occupation: troubadour

 

[darkmaas]

37. Noun-spittle
38. Noun, Plural-weasels
39. Noun, Abstract -mindset

40. Adjective-dark
41. Adjective-delicious
42. Verb, Transitive, Present Tense-eat
43. Verb, Intransitive, Present Tense -crawl
44. Geographical Terrain-mountains
45. Name of a Literotica Author-De Sade

 

[Angeline]

More

28. tongue
29. zippers
30. intellect
31. imposition
32. overweening
33. grasp
34. dances
35. gasping
36. mattress testers

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Oh, how coordinated.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Hamlet's Soliloquy?

To crawl, or not to crawl -- that is the intellect:
Whether 'tis nobler in the vulva to revere
The hormones and virgins of dark trapeze
Or to take arms against a mountains of shackles,
And by gasping end them. To grasp -- to eat;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural fluids
That flesh is heir to, 'tis an imposition
Devoutly to be wish'd. To grasp, to eat;
To eat -- perchance to caress: ay, there's the rub!
For in that sleep of mindset what dreams may explode
When we have lifted off this mortal kumquat,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The zippers of despis'd concept, the law's delay,
The thought of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy examines,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a palpitating logarithm? Who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sit under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after sainthood --
The undiscover'd forest, from whose bourn
No troubadour returns -- dances the will,
And makes us rather steal those ills we have
Than loiter to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make matress testers of us all,
And thus the achey hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the frenetic tongue of thought,
And weasels of overweening pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of spittle. Delicious you now!
The breathless De Sade! -- Nymph, in thy batteries
Be all my postcards remember'd.

 

[Angeline]

The heart-ache and the thousand natural fluids
That flesh is heir to, 'tis an imposition

I'll say.

 

[Guest]

ROFLMAO

With a palpitating logarithm?

If that isn't an euphemism, I don't know what is. I just want to know what base it is in.

Nicely done Lauren! I know that was a lot of work. Thanks!

b

 

[Lauren Hynde]

BUMP!

New game:

1. Noun, Abstract
2. Adjective
3. Verb, Intransitive, Present Tense
4. Body Part
5. Occupation

6. Noun, Abstract
7. Adjective
8. Gerund, Transitive
9. Body Part, Plural
10. Number

11. Noun, Abstract
12. Adverb
13. Gerund, Intransitive
14. Time Period
15. Article of Clothing

16. Noun, Abstract
17. Verb, Transitive, Present Tense
18. Animal
19. Sound, Plural
20. Size

Each person does 5 words.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Dranoel's 5 words:

1. joy
2. tastey
3. grasps
4. finger
5. telemarketer

Next person does 6-10.

 

[Clare Quilty]

11. ennui
12. swimmingly
13. the priest's masturbating
14. femtosecond
15. lederhosen

(I assumed that someone was already doing 6-10)

 

[CharleyH]

6. Sodomy
7. piercing
8. dissecting
9. legs
10. 21

 

[Lauren Hynde]

11. ennui
12. swimmingly
13. femtosecond
14. the priest's masturbating
15. lederhosen

(I assumed that someone was already doing 6-10)

13 and 14 are interchangeable, I'm to assume...

Next person: 16-20

 

[Clare Quilty]

13 and 14 are interchangeable, I'm to assume...

Yes, quite.

 

[minsue]

Oh hell, I'll bite. It's been a number of years since my last grammar class so let's hope I don't fuck it up too much.

16. idea
17. holds
18. wombat
19. squeals
20. minute

 

[Lauren Hynde]

This is an extract of The Filmmaker's Exam, destined to ascertain if your movie has the required conditions to be produced. If you answer yes to any of these questions, take it as a sign that the project should die now:

- Have you hired a professional telemarketer to act in a starring role?
- Does your movie contain Demi Moore's legs?
- Does your movie contain any tasty, piercing minute creatures, or any other easily merchandised feature?
- Would you describe Speed 2: Cruise Control as "a thought-provoking commentary on human joy?"
- Is your movie about aliens whose sole purpose in life is to hold humans?
- Does the script have more than twenty-one supposedly humorous "one-liners?"
- Does the title of your movie contain any of the words "Fatal," "Passion," "Sodomy," "Ennui," or "Idea?"
- Did the auditions require the priest's masturbating?
- Do you hear squeals in your head whenever you think about your movie?
- Does the script require any member of the cast to grasp at the camera, literally or swimmingly, at any time?
- Does the script require anyone's lederhosen to fall down for a quick laugh?
- Have you cast someone whose acting style includes dissecting his finger back and forth in every scene?
- Is the lead actor's co-star a wombat?
- Is your movie a made-for-TV "movie of the femto-second?"