Loving Wives - Why?

[KeithD]

Posting in LW invites negative responses. Deliberate or not, it's trolling. I may not intend to exceed speed limits as I roll down a steep grade but that's what happens and I should be aware of it. Any nice story posted to LW will exceed civility limits, quote low there. You're doing 45 in a 15 zone. Ratz.

No it's not. I've posted stories to LW in the sr71plt account. In each case I wasn't doing so to provoke anything. I was working at writing to what I thought was the category theme. (And Laurel, who sets the theme, must have agreed with me, as she awarded one of them a Green E). I wasn't playing to any game going on with LW stories, I wasn't trolling anyone or anything, and I didn't/don't give a shit about any bad reaction to the stories. Your choosing to be locked into an LW game doesn't mean that all others writing stories to put there are.

 

[Valint]

One is a troll only if one intends to provoke. Writing a story that one believes falls within the legitimate bounds of the LW category, knowing that there will be some hostile LW readers who will respond with vicious comments, does not make one a troll. I doubt many LW authors truly would qualify as trolls.

I'm dubious that any author posting D/S stories in LW instead of BDSM doesn't know exactly what he's doing.

Let's look literally just at stories posted today that have a sub-2 rating:

• 1st Meeting With Mistress Pandora - Straight-up BDSM story in which a male sub raves about the beauties of submitting to his mistress, neither of which appear to be married to anyone.
• The Chosen Cuckold - Guy cheats on his wife, and when discovered, gives her all of his worldly possessions in the divorce (for no apparent reason). Broke and homeless, he then goes to live with his best friend, who feminizes him and makes him suck the (black, of course) friend's cock, in between all of the other masochistic activities he's forced to endure, including finding out that the friend had been having an affair with his wife all through the marriage anyway.

If someone wants to write a story about a brother raping his sister, that's their business. If they want to post it in Romance, however, I'm pretty sure they're going to get lousy ratings and be told to get their 'rape shit' or 'incest shit' out of there, and I wouldn't blame the readers for that response.

A lot of LW readers strongly dislike BDSM stories in which the male main character is dominated and (emotionally and/or physically) tormented, including both femdom and m/m stories. I can't really blame them, considering we have much better categories for that. At this point, if an author posts that kind of story in LW, I'm quite okay calling that author a troll.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm dubious that any author posting D/S stories in LW instead of BDSM doesn't know exactly what he's doing.

Let's look literally just at stories posted today that have a sub-2 rating:

• 1st Meeting With Mistress Pandora - Straight-up BDSM story in which a male sub raves about the beauties of submitting to his mistress, neither of which appear to be married to anyone.
• The Chosen Cuckold - Guy cheats on his wife, and when discovered, gives her all of his worldly possessions in the divorce (for no apparent reason). Broke and homeless, he then goes to live with his best friend, who feminizes him and makes him suck the (black, of course) friend's cock, in between all of the other masochistic activities he's forced to endure, including finding out that the friend had been having an affair with his wife all through the marriage anyway.

If someone wants to write a story about a brother raping his sister, that's their business. If they want to post it in Romance, however, I'm pretty sure they're going to get lousy ratings and be told to get their 'rape shit' or 'incest shit' out of there, and I wouldn't blame the readers for that response.

A lot of LW readers strongly dislike BDSM stories in which the male main character is dominated and (emotionally and/or physically) tormented, including both femdom and m/m stories. I can't really blame them, considering we have much better categories for that. At this point, if an author posts that kind of story in LW, I'm quite okay calling that author a troll.

I don't know what that proves. The two stories you describe are atypical of LW and clearly have elements that fall well outside the normal bounds of LW.

Here's how the site describes the LW category on the Stories main page: "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more." If one publishes a story to this category that fits that description, it seems very strange to me that anyone could think that's trolling.

I don't think there is such a thing as nondeliberate trolling. Trolling is by its nature deliberate, and intentionally provocative.

 

[tomlitilia]

Here's how the site describes the LW category on the Stories main page: "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more." If one publishes a story to this category that fits that description, it seems very strange to me that anyone could think that's trolling.

This. Just because there is a dozen of very vocal LW readers who only want to read BTB stories, authors have no obligation to adjust. In my experieence, the vast majority of readers in LW want to read stories fitting the description above. I've had about a 50-50 split between praise and abusive comments on my LW stories, but it's very obvioys the bulk of the abusive ones are written by the same handful of incels who have nothing better to do with their sad lives.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

This. Just because there is a dozen of very vocal LW readers who only want to read BTB stories, authors have no obligation to adjust. In my experieence, the vast majority of readers in LW want to read stories fitting the description above. I've had about a 50-50 split between praise and abusive comments on my LW stories, but it's very obvioys the bulk of the abusive ones are written by the same handful of incels who have nothing better to do with their sad lives.

This. Mine too have run about 50% likes vs. 50% hates. If the hates are a direct attack on me or some other reader, DELETE.

Some of the nastier ones have been about not being able to vote. Why should I let them vote when I know they will never even read the story?

 

[SimonDoom]

This. Mine too have run about 50% likes vs. 50% hates. If the hates are a direct attack on me or some other reader, DELETE.

Some of the nastier ones have been about not being able to vote. Why should I let them vote when I know they will never even read the story?

I'm curious whether, when you turn off the ability to vote, you receive fewer views. Can you tell? One of the advantages of LW is it has a big and active readership, and there are a lot of good readers along with the bad. I know if I saw a story with no score I'd be less likely to read it.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm curious whether, when you turn off the ability to vote, you receive fewer views. Can you tell? One of the advantages of LW is it has a big and active readership, and there are a lot of good readers along with the bad. I know if I saw a story with no score I'd be less likely to read it.

I don't think they know you've turned off voting/comments until they get to the end. If they jump right to the end odds are it was to one bomb or troll anyway.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I'm curious whether, when you turn off the ability to vote, you receive fewer views. Can you tell? One of the advantages of LW is it has a big and active readership, and there are a lot of good readers along with the bad. I know if I saw a story with no score I'd be less likely to read it.

Not really. I have always had a lot of views on my LW stuff - upwards of 30K or better. A few in the 100K or better range.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I don't think they know you've turned off voting/comments until they get to the end. If they jump right to the end odds are it was to one bomb or troll anyway.

This.

 

[tennesseered]

New to LIT

I've just posted my first story after being a reader/commenter for ten years. This is my first post in the forums. FWIW, I jumped right into the LW category because it's the kind of story I wrote and I suppose that reflects my interests. I don't mind the negative comments, especially the ones crafted to insult me, because they are so ridiculous. (My favorite called my story a 'steaming pile of horse manure'. Made my day!) Votes are nice but say more about the voter than the story, in my opinion. LW is a lively venue and apparently I've got a thick enough skin to shrug off the negativity.

Anyway, I'll spend some time around this forum and check out the action. If you've read my story, I'd appreciate your thoughts on how I can improve. So far it's been fun and I've corresponded with some nice people. But it sure is time intensive!

 

[Valint]

If you've read my story, I'd appreciate your thoughts on how I can improve.

* Your MC has pretty much zero in the way of redeeming characteristics. He's a fat drunk fuck who's a shitty lover, doesn't help around the house, and sufficiently self-absorbed that he doesn't even notice his wife's self-improvement. He doesn't even have the usual LW husband feature of "At least I was always faithful", because he had a lengthy affair earlier in the marriage.

And, honestly, I think that's great. Too many LW husbands are unbelievable paragons of virtue, so I was looking forward to seeing how you dug him out of the hole you had created for him but... you didn't. He basically just said, "Huh, I guess I should try not being an alcoholic any more", spanked and sexually assaulted his wife, and then *magic* she suddenly started respecting him again.

His wife has spent months losing respect and falling out of love with him. I think you could have written an entire story of his trying to turn his life around and rebuild that respect, but the *poof* *jazz hands* *magic* version just didn't work for me.

* Chapter two was about how the guy who was giving emotional support to the wife was a piece of shit, so we're back in standard LW territory.

There's a standard cast of characters for way too many LW stories:

• Husband is a paragon of virtue; he works hard for his family, is a Viking in the sack and everyone loves him
• Wife is either weak or got hit by the Martian slut ray
• Lover is a conniving piece of shit, who will be revealed as such by the conclusion, so that Wife is left with nothing at the end
• Girlfriend is a loyal friend who secretly loves Husband, and is there to emotionally support Husband and move their relationship to the next level once he leaves Wife (but she never crosses any lines too soon, so she's not a piece-of-shit like Lover, really; no, it's totally different, shut up)

Chapter One swerved on these--the Husband was a sack of shit, and while I usually lean more in the BTB direction, my reaction to the Wife was "Wow, good job not actually fucking anyone yet; you should probably get a divorce first". But with Chapter Two, the Lover character got us back into familiar territory.

The rapid pacing just really didn't work for me here. She's spent months losing respect for the husband and building a relationship with her new boyfriend, and suddenly she's on Team Marriage and backing his every play? Is the Martian 'Faithful and Loving Wife' Ray a thing?

The boyfriend was also implausibly gullible, which again, came across as something forced by the author to get a quick resolution because you didn't want to spend more time on this subplot.

* Chapter three felt like only half of a chapter.

I'm still waiting to see where the cop character fits in: He's a childhood friend who dated the wife during a period where the husband broke things off to go fuck another girl. He's probably also an ex-lover, but both him and the wife refuse to talk about. He's married to a wife with Alzheimer's that he's making sure is being taken care of. He's basically coded as "Generic Nice Guy that Deserves Nice Things to Happen to Him".

It's also made clear that (a) he's still attracted to the MC's wife, (b) he's played the bull for cuckolds before, and (c) he's into bondage play, which fits in with the wife's sudden submissiveness... all of which makes me think that this story is about to head in directions that are going to lead to a lot of "1* cuck shit" comments.

Leaving aside all of the other intrinsic issues one might have with wife-sharing, doing it with a relationship this fragile and a bull the wife could (should?) plausibly fall in love with seems like a horrible idea. Your starting point is a marriage that's going to need years to rebuild, so jumping right into any sort of swinging/sharing/poly arrangement seems, again, really rushing things.

Also, the husband's joking around about whoring out his wife to the cop to get out of trouble (a) seems way too soon, given how fragile the relationship is, (b) makes him sound like a macho fratboy asshole, and (c) given that he's already uncomfortable about the guy being his wife's ex-lover, makes zero sense to me.

I think there was probably an interesting story here in which the cop was the boyfriend. The wife's gradually falling out of love and respect with her husband, and meeting up with her cop-friend/ex-lover for emotional support, at the same time she's giving him emotional support as his wife falls into dementia. Can the husband rebuild his marriage before the wife divorces him/the cop's wife dies/the two of them cross a line?

I'd love to read a LW story some time in which the husband has honest flaws, and the emotional affair guy is actually a decent guy who's just providing support and friendship to someone who desperately needs it, where the husband has to deal with the fact that it's not that some (easily vanquished) evil-doer stole his wife, but that his wife fell or is falling out of love with him because he's a shitty husband. I doubt I'll read that story, because I'm not sure how you plausibly get anything but a really sad ending for the husband there.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

It's a challenge and I do it partly to burn the trolls, partly to see if I can squeak out a red H in spite of the angry ones, and partly to see how well my writing skills handle a conflict. Most of my stories are lower in conflict and therefore long on stroke, and thus at times I want to branch out into more shark-infested waters as a dare. I usually write what I enjoy, but at times, what I enjoy is mind-fucking the trolls and other times, I want the occasional emotional anguish of an everyman's torment (not often, it's not fun most of the time to write).

In short, it's a move outside of my comfort zone before I retreat to the relative ease and comfort of my favorite kinks and my more ideal worlds (ones that banish prudery to various degrees of success). I often write as an escape from this, the far from best of all possible worlds. Once in a while, though, it's good to face the idiotic universe in which we actually live.

 

[tennesseered]

Thanks, Valint!

That's great feedback! Thanks!

What's most interesting to me is how readers perceive what I wrote vs. what I intended to write. Wendell, the main character, is a high-functioning alcoholic, what I think is called alcohol dependent. (I'm no expert on the subject.) Wendell is based on a guy I used to know, may he RIP. His wife was at times disgusted with him, angry, cajoling, reasoning, bullied him, rejected him, tried to help him, but always stayed with him until cancer got him. He liked to drink and he liked to eat, but he eventually got both under control for the last ten years of his life. His patients and colleagues universally loved him. He worked almost until the day he dropped. My writing didn't do justice to the man, but that's the guy I had in mind. They do exist.

And wives like Myra exist, too. The love their flawed husbands but are quite capable of delivering a painful kick in the ass, too. I think Myra was fooled by David, an accomplished seducer, partly because Wendell had been ignoring her. Her sex drive is greater than her husband's, too. We should all be so lucky.

David the sleazy disbarred lawyer was so full of himself that he was not so difficult for Myra and Wendell, working together, to fool. His low opinion of Wendell was his undoing. We may not have heard the last of him, perhaps. I expected some shooting experts to chime in about the the power of a .22 short, target load. I've seen a .22LR go through and through the skull, side to side. A relatively clean, but fatal, wound.

You're right, ch. 3 was a shorty, mostly housekeeping. Ch 4 is meatier and I hope will win me the coveted 1*cuck-shit accolade and perhaps a good 1* bombing. Ch 5 is being written and I hope to get it posted in a week. Ch 6 will probably wrap it up. It's fun but a lot of work.

Don't discount the power of life-long friendships. And the power of 'both/and' over 'either/or'. In spite of their many human failings, I want my characters to remain multi-faceted and capable of loving each other. At least in this story.

Thanks, Valint. Good feedback.

 

[NotWise]

That's great feedback! Thanks!

...

Thanks, Valint. Good feedback.

I'll never understand LW, LW readers or LW writers.

 

[Valint]

I'll never understand LW, LW readers or LW writers.

How so?

For me, the LW category is a variation on the Romance category. The stereotypical Romance story is about a Guy and a Girl who start out not in a relationship, an Obstacle they have to overcome to get there, and an inevitable Happy Ending.

I see the stereotypical LW story--at least, the kind of LW story I want to read--as about a Guy and Girl who start out already in a relationship, an Obstacle (almost always related to extra-marital fun) they have to overcome to stay in that relationship, and what happens if they can or can't overcome it.

To be honest, it would be easier if Lit just had a category called something like Relationships, which were basically Romance-style stories in which happy endings weren't guaranteed, but it doesn't, so those stories ended up finding their own category, even if it clashes a bit with those who think the LW category should be for Fetish-style stories that just happen to have a wife involved.

 

[SimonDoom]

How so?

For me, the LW category is a variation on the Romance category. The stereotypical Romance story is about a Guy and a Girl who start out not in a relationship, an Obstacle they have to overcome to get there, and an inevitable Happy Ending.

I see the stereotypical LW story--at least, the kind of LW story I want to read--as about a Guy and Girl who start out already in a relationship, an Obstacle (almost always related to extra-marital fun) they have to overcome to stay in that relationship, and what happens if they can or can't overcome it.

To be honest, it would be easier if Lit just had a category called something like Relationships, which were basically Romance-style stories in which happy endings weren't guaranteed, but it doesn't, so those stories ended up finding their own category, even if it clashes a bit with those who think the LW category should be for Fetish-style stories that just happen to have a wife involved.

Your comment makes me think that the LW category is a kind of Rorschach test -- people see what they want in it, and they don't understand why others see something different.

There seem to be large, very different, and somewhat mutually exclusive groups of readers of the stories in this category.

You refer to extra-marital fun as an obstacle to be overcome. I think a lot of LW readers see this category that way. They like stories where extra-marital activity has consequences, usually negative consequences, and they enjoy stories that relate the pain that goes along with cheating.

But others, like me, have no interest in those stories. To me, that's not erotic at all, and I come here to read erotic stories. I like reading about hot wives. So, for me, extra-marital activity in this category isn't an obstacle; it's the goal, and the fun in the stories comes from seeing how the characters overcome other obstacles -- such as hesitation, modesty, fear of exposure and disapproval, feelings of taboo, etc. -- to achieve the goal.

 

[NotWise]

How so?

I'm closer to Simon's understanding of LW than I am to yours.

Stories -- What I see when I try to read in LW is different from what you describe. About half the stories are cuckold stories. The relationships are usually completely fucked up because the characters are insensitive, self-centered, and slow-witted, and if they didn't make bad decisions they wouldn't make decisions at all. And that is supposed to be erotic.

To me, typical LW stories are about as much like stories in Romance as I/T stories are like stories in Romance. It isn't a very productive comparison.

I'm not casting aspersions on the quality of writing in LW. The quality there seems to be comparable to most other categories: there are well-conceived, well-written stories; there are formula strokers that could be written with a grade school education; and there's everything in between.

Readers -- It's easy for me to believe Harddaysknight's description of LW readers as people who've lived through LW scenarios and react to the pain. What I don't understand is why they haven't gotten over it. Holding on to a lot of painful old memories and willingly opening those wounds by reading LW stories is a little sick. Therapy is called for.

There may be some incel activity in LW.

Writers -- The bitter, suffering readers heap a lot of punishment on the writers, and the LW writers eat it up. It's like a BDSM scenario with readers as the Doms and writers as the Subs. Do ya'll have safe words?

The readers also give lots of views, votes and favorites, but when I suggested that was the reason people posted in LW (early in the thread) LW writers told me that wasn't true. Clearly, I do not understand.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

After being a long time reader, I started writing what I like to read. LW back in the day was a pleasure to read. That being said, today what I see is...

1) Cuckold stores which I never liked to read.

2) Husbands and Wives confident enough with each other to explore other avenues of pleasure together. - I write and read these.

3) Cheating wives who are discovered and the husband always kicks them to the curb. - I have started to read these, but there is usually nothing erotic in them.

4) Cheating wives who are discovered but the husband attempts to take her back and sometime does and sometimes doesn't. - I also read and write these.

5) Cheating husband who is discovered and the wife takes his cheating ass back. - I have written a few and read a few.

6) Cheating husband who is discovered and the wife kicks him to the curb. - I have written a few of these and I like reading them.

4 and 5 I have experience with, the rest not so much except for 2, but I have seen other couples who have and a cheating spouse put a strain on the relationship, but it can be over come. My wife and I did it with counseling. I have I forgot, no. Have I forgiven? Yes. She has forgiven me but has never forgotten. And no, I'm not going to tell you did it first.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I would add that I do, at times, like to write LW stories that go outside of the normal tropes or themes, twists on the usual, such as:

1. Marriage of Convenience that turns into love, with a healthy dose of swinging or poly or open marriage along the way (never ends, change or not).

I explored this with "Marriage Is A Contract," a story that certainly drew trolls like flies to honey. A lot of people loved it, a lot of other people hated it for reasons that they stated, and Schwanze, of course, personally attacked me ad hominem, as is his modus operandi for anything that isn't traditional monogamy (go figure, right).

2. Marriage Honored In The Breach, where a loving, ostensibly monogamous marriage turns out to not be so monogamous after all, though which one broke first is a matter of writer's choice and character development. I explored this more than once, particularly with "Tear It Up" and the sequels to it. There is forgiveness, there is recognition that stability is not necessarily the sole basis for opening up, sometimes it's about accepting reality that monogamy just doesn't work, and there is a decision to move ahead in a post-monogamy context.

Needless to say, this really garnered some feedback, much of it negative, but some positive, and I don't regret writing it, because it was there to be written and needed to be.

3. There is also the idea of "Unusual or Unorthodox Marriage Customs," as explored with "My Summer Wife," which also got a lot of backlash, but again, which had to be explored and I don't regret exploring it. It's fun to write, I will continue writing it, and the trolls can go fuck themselves.

Just a few examples there.

 

[swingerjoe]

I’m interested to learn how Loving Wives was ever different, and what caused it to change. I’ve been writing and reading here since around 2013 and it’s the same today as it was then. I read the comments from stories posted well before then, and I see the same mixture of appreciation and angry old men. To me, it doesn’t seem as though anything has changed.

The greatest mystery to me is: WHY would so many angry old men, with blatant insecurity issues, and histories of being screwed over by cheating wives, think to visit an erotic website for their daily dose of therapy?

That therapy takes place in two ways: identifying with the jilted husband character and reveling in his fictional fantasy revenge on his bitch of a wife, and berating any author who dares to write a story where the husband is less than perfect or where the wife is less than Lady Hitler.

I can understand, to some small extent, why these men find comfort in this type of self-therapy. What I don’t get is: WHY did they ever visit an erotic website to read these types of stories in the first place??

Also, in response to one of the posts above, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t write almost exclusively in LW mainly because of the number of views and comments. If I wanted to write only for myself, I wouldn’t bother sharing my stories with anyone else. LW stories average FAR more comments than any other category. And some of them are actually constructive!

 

[tomlitilia]

Your comment makes me think that the LW category is a kind of Rorschach test -- people see what they want in it, and they don't understand why others see something different.

There seem to be large, very different, and somewhat mutually exclusive groups of readers of the stories in this category.

You refer to extra-marital fun as an obstacle to be overcome. I think a lot of LW readers see this category that way. They like stories where extra-marital activity has consequences, usually negative consequences, and they enjoy stories that relate the pain that goes along with cheating.

But others, like me, have no interest in those stories. To me, that's not erotic at all, and I come here to read erotic stories. I like reading about hot wives. So, for me, extra-marital activity in this category isn't an obstacle; it's the goal, and the fun in the stories comes from seeing how the characters overcome other obstacles -- such as hesitation, modesty, fear of exposure and disapproval, feelings of taboo, etc. -- to achieve the goal.

Couldn't agree more. That's how my LW stories are set up too.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

Readers -- It's easy for me to believe Harddaysknight's description of LW readers as people who've lived through LW scenarios and react to the pain. What I don't understand is why they haven't gotten over it. Holding on to a lot of painful old memories and willingly opening those wounds by reading LW stories is a little sick. Therapy is called for.

It's the same phenomena as people who've been abused and come to crave more abuse - and yes, that's a thing. It's difficult for whole, rational people to grasp it - but damaged people don't always have full command over their responses, because the responses are now springing from damage. It doesn't look rational because it's not rational. And yes, therapy is called for. But it's hard to get people to make that rational choice when their responses, etc..

There may be some incel activity in LW.

Um... it's Literotica. I can't figure out how vast the incel population is, but if you extend the term just a little to cover everyone who isn't getting what they want sexually - married women whose husbands have lost interest, guys with nasty personalities who couldn't get a date if they begged, girls that no one will ever be desperate enough to touch, etc - I suspect the incels are what keep Lit afloat.

Writers -- The bitter, suffering readers heap a lot of punishment on the writers, and the LW writers eat it up. It's like a BDSM scenario with readers as the Doms and writers as the Subs. Do ya'll have safe words?

The would be a perfect quote for the front page of literotica. I mean you're being unkind to BDSM, but still.

The great thing about Lit is there's no reason to try to understand. As far as I know, there's no general board, no incest category, and no LW category. Why would I ever go there? So I don't. Why would anyone go there? Who cares why, as long as I don't have to deal with them? And thus the nonexistent problem is solved.

 

[dzchoquet]

Tested my skin thickness

I know I'm late to the thread. I read it in several sessions. Should I have just started a new one?
Anyway, I'm a fairly new writer. Only started early this year. Almost everything I write is what I understand to be called the hotwife genre (wife plays with husband's approval). I have read a great deal of very good writing in that genre before attempting it myself. So in Literotica, until now, I've put everything in Group Sex, but some here have suggested that LW would be more appropriate. I've also been warned, in particular, in this thread, that many who read LW do not like wife sharing stories, which seems ironic to say the least, considering that the word "sharing" is right there in the category description. So I wrote a fairly simple short story with LW in mind, Surprise. I did get a slew of extreme negative comments, and at least one sincere bit of feedback. One of the most recent comments says "This is a story concept NOBODY enjoys!" which of course I know to be wildly untrue.

Now earlier in this thread, people have explained that many of the people making all these negative comments are doing so as a result of their own painful past experiences around cheating. I find that fascinating, because I myself write what I write, to some extent, due to my own similar experiences. So I have to have some empathy. But my response is different. I've found that the best way for me to deal with it is to re-imagine the situation with me embracing her promiscuity -- and then discovering it to be highly arousing (this actually did happen during this marriage in a threesome with a friend of mine). Of course nobody can re-live the past with one's newer attitudes. But I've found I can, in a way, through fiction.

 

[NotWise]

Anyway, I'm a fairly new writer. Only started early this year. Almost everything I write is what I understand to be called the hotwife genre (wife plays with husband's approval)

How is this different from cuckolding?

 

[dzchoquet]

How is this different from cuckolding?

Depends on your definition. I tend to avoid that term because there are multiple mutually-incompatible meanings. And one of them implies that the husband is in a D/s relationship with his wife and possibly her lover, he being dominated by the other two. In some cases, this involves such things as the husband wearing a chastity device, with the wife holding the key. Sometimes her lover insists that she not have sex with her husband. All of this is extremely distasteful to me, although I do understand that some husbands are totally into it, and so that's obviously fine for them. I hope it was clear in my story (and the others I have written) that there is none of this stuff going on. I've seen a few people use the term stag for a non-submissive husband of a hotwife, but I'm not sure that has caught on much. I have written stories where the husband and lover establish a strong connection through their common interest, the wife. In the case of the threesome I alluded to, my (now ex-) wife found the experience to be highly arousing, in part, because of the connection she saw between me and my friend.