Loving Wives And The Incel Movement

[Lifestyle66]

You are correct in that I'm "old school" when words actually meant something as a means of communicating.

Today, words have become more fluid.

Just IMO.

 

[MillieDynamite]

You are correct in that I'm "old school" when words actually meant something as a means of communicating.

Today, words have become more fluid.

Just IMO.

Languages that don't evolve die. Speaking Latin much lately?

 

[XerXesXu]

Languages that don't evolve die. Speaking Latin much lately?

It's true that control of definitions controls social and cultural evolution. Without many competing definitions, how could there be evolution, and how do you know which definitions are heading down an evolutionary dead end?

 

[TheRedChamber]

It's true that control of definitions controls social and cultural evolution. Without many competing definitions, how could there be evolution, and how do you know which definitions are heading down an evolutionary dead end?

Absolutely, and 'cuckhold' is one of those words that wasn't getting a lot of play prior to its reinvention - it's the sort of word your middle-school English teacher would have to explain to the class while studying Shakespeare.

 

[MillieDynamite]

It's true that control of definitions controls social and cultural evolution. Without many competing definitions, how could there be evolution, and how do you know which definitions are heading down an evolutionary dead end?

I'm not a smart girl, but I do like chocolate. You never know, what you know, unless you know you know it. What?

 

[Lifestyle66]

Languages that don't evolve die. Speaking Latin much lately?

I'm more into ones and zeros.

Communicating ideas and numbers is an exacting science. Imagine your bank balance if they decided to just move the decimal one place to the left. "It's fluid, and you're not evolving with us."

Changing definitions leads to miscommunication ... to misunderstandings ... to anger ... to hatred. Why would anyone want that?

 

[EarlyMorningLight]

It’s strange to me when English speakers, of all people, object to the evolution of language, considering that English itself isn’t so much a language as it is like five languages in a trenchcoat.

 

[XerXesXu]

I'm not a smart girl, but I do like chocolate. You never know, what you know, unless you know you know it. What?

So, sell it like you'd sell chocolate. What will the punters like about your product, and why is it better for them than the one they're using?

 

[Lifestyle66]

So, sell it like you'd sell chocolate. What will the punters like about your product, and why is it better for them than the one they're using?

Exactly.

Selling it as "See how you should feel bad about your life." is counterproductive and hateful. It's like calling a woman a slut. But there are those women who do just that.

So, we all live with the ever-increasing division and hatred by redefining terms to subtly stab at others.

 

[RetroFan]

As I've noted before, my observation of what sets the Loving Wives crowd apart from negative and mean-spirited commenters in the other categories is that they want to find and read these stories they claim to hate so much, so they can get angry, post hateful and abusive comments and give low scores. It's like people who go on holiday wanting their flights to be delayed, issues with lost luggage, problems with their accommodation and negative experiences at tourist attractions and in general in their holiday destination so they can complain non-stop both on vacation and when they get back.

So if they read a new LW story about a husband who knows his abrasive wife is having an affair with another man of whom he is afraid but does nothing about it, and their three kids have three different fathers none of them the husband, they will attack the story with plenty of vitriol saying how much they hate it, but in reality be secretly pleased that somebody posted it because then they can be negative - until the next day when a new LW story is posted for them to hate even more.

Sometimes you get dumb negative comments in other categories - for example an Incest Taboo reader attacking a story involving mother and daughter saying how much they hate this IT pairing - despite the title and description clearly indicating what the story is about and that mother/daughter stories are pretty rare anyway, but generally the readers there don't go on the site looking for stories they hate.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I’ve never changed the meanings of words in my life. Society has changed the meanings of words. At one time, Gay meant nothing more than happy, but I bet even Lifestyle66 uses it to describe certain people’s sexual preferences. Queer means something or someone that is different or odd. Fag was a smoke even in America, and then it wasn’t. In Old English, ‘awe’ referred to “fear, terror or dread.” This later morphed into a solemn or reverential wonder, and ‘awful’ and ‘awesome’ were synonymous with awe-inspiring. Later, ‘awful’ took on a solely negative connotation, and the word found its modern-day usage to mean extremely bad. A shortening of the word ‘acute’, ‘cute’ originally meant sharp or quick-witted, and was even written with an apostrophe in place of the missing A. In 1830s America, it took on a new significance and came to mean attractive, pretty or charming. Those two A words are only the first two words on a long list of A words that have morphed. There are thousands of words whose meanings have changed throughout the centuries. If you don’t want them to change, then I guess you live in the middle ages! If you like the thought of a cute girl, then don’t get pissed off that it didn’t mean that in the past. Just accept that things change, even language. Just because you prefer the word cuckold to have a meaning contrary to its modern usage doesn’t mean the rest of the world needs to agree with you!

But change does lead to stress and unrest, especially if one fights it tooth and toenail.

 

[XerXesXu]

I’ve never changed the meanings of words in my life. Society has changed the meanings of words. At one time, Gay meant nothing more than happy, but I bet even Lifestyle66 uses it to describe certain people’s sexual preferences. Queer means something or someone that is different or odd. Fag was a smoke even in America, and then it wasn’t. In Old English, ‘awe’ referred to “fear, terror or dread.” This later morphed into a solemn or reverential wonder, and ‘awful’ and ‘awesome’ were synonymous with awe-inspiring. Later, ‘awful’ took on a solely negative connotation, and the word found its modern-day usage to mean extremely bad. A shortening of the word ‘acute’, ‘cute’ originally meant sharp or quick-witted, and was even written with an apostrophe in place of the missing A. In 1830s America, it took on a new significance and came to mean attractive, pretty or charming. Those two A words are only the first two words on a long list of A words that have morphed. There are thousands of words whose meanings have changed throughout the centuries. If you don’t want them to change, then I guess you live in the middle ages! If you like the thought of a cute girl, then don’t get pissed off that it didn’t mean that in the past. Just accept that things change, even language. Just because you prefer the word cuckold to have a meaning contrary to its modern usage doesn’t mean the rest of the world needs to agree with you!

But change does lead to stress and unrest, especially if one fights it tooth and toenail.

The meaning of words changes, but reality doesn't. In my youth, cute meant clever, as in acute, but, too clever by half, so, when my teacher described me as cute, he meant 'smartass'. But cute also is used as a generally positive description and the Filipinos have adopted it from American English, first in Taglish and now in Tagalog. 'Ang Cute' is a beautiful girl 'Ang Pogi' is a handsome man. I'm no longer 'ang cute', I'm 'ang pogi', but I'm still a smart-ass. In reality, nothing has changed. Words are not magic charms, no matter what you read in fantasy stories, even transformers are fiction. The reason I posted the video above was, that I get the impression some people - those who fight tooth and nail to change a definition, even citing authorities like Kinkly - don't quite realise even if you change the definition, reality won't change. After the change, we will all still be precisely what we were before the change.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I’ve never changed the meanings of words in my life. Society has changed the meanings of words. At one time, Gay meant nothing more than happy, but I bet even Lifestyle66 uses it to describe certain people’s sexual preferences. Queer means something or someone that is different or odd. Fag was a smoke even in America, and then it wasn’t. In Old English, ‘awe’ referred to “fear, terror or dread.” This later morphed into a solemn or reverential wonder, and ‘awful’ and ‘awesome’ were synonymous with awe-inspiring. Later, ‘awful’ took on a solely negative connotation, and the word found its modern-day usage to mean extremely bad. A shortening of the word ‘acute’, ‘cute’ originally meant sharp or quick-witted, and was even written with an apostrophe in place of the missing A. In 1830s America, it took on a new significance and came to mean attractive, pretty or charming. Those two A words are only the first two words on a long list of A words that have morphed. There are thousands of words whose meanings have changed throughout the centuries. If you don’t want them to change, then I guess you live in the middle ages! If you like the thought of a cute girl, then don’t get pissed off that it didn’t mean that in the past. Just accept that things change, even language. Just because you prefer the word cuckold to have a meaning contrary to its modern usage doesn’t mean the rest of the world needs to agree with you!

But change does lead to stress and unrest, especially if one fights it tooth and toenail.

If we are to accept the modern meanings of words, then why are we hearing the complaints of using the term "slut"? Why are there authors here promoting the use of selective offensive terms?

Pick a position: Either promote ALL words as they are and call them acceptable. OR Condemn the use of all offensive terms.

But don't try telling me a husband is automatically a cuckhold if his wife is fucking around, but the wife's not a slut! Look at THAT definition!

 

[MillieDynamite]

But don't try telling me a husband is automatically a cuckhold if his wife is fucking around, but the wife's not a slut! Look at THAT definition!

I didn't say either of those things, I said that cuckolding, in the current use of the word, is a subset of the BDSM and Swinging lifestyles and a cuckold is not necessarily raising other men's kids or unaware of her infidelity, nor is in the confines of the current use of label, necessarily unhappy with the situation. I don't understand a spouse that desires to watch their mate fucking another person, but it is none of my business and only concerns the parties concerned.

And for record, in this thread, I haven't condemned the use of any words. In you writing, in your speech, you can use whatever words express the feelings or ideas you want. I've certainly used plenty of offensive words, terms, and expressions in my fiction. I've used the N word and the C word in my writing. These letters represent the two words I never use in the real word. Especially the C word would never cross my lips. I never said any one at any time, is automatically a cuckold if his wife cheats, nor have I said the wife is or isn't a slut. Look back and quote me if I'm wrong.

But I'm done with the subject and wont continue to flog a dead horse. You guys can continue to argue, but I'm not going to participate in the disagreement further.

 

[SimonDoom]

If we are to accept the modern meanings of words, then why are we hearing the complaints of using the term "slut"? Why are there authors here promoting the use of selective offensive terms?

Pick a position: Either promote ALL words as they are and call them acceptable. OR Condemn the use of all offensive terms.

But don't try telling me a husband is automatically a cuckhold if his wife is fucking around, but the wife's not a slut! Look at THAT definition!

I'm not sure "pick a position" is a philosophy that works when it comes to writing fiction. Language is a minefield, but it's a minefield to be explored rather than avoided. I don't promote all words, or condemn all words. My justification for using words that may offend some people boils down to: it depends on the circumstances and how the word is used.

I like the word "slut" as a word in erotica. To the extent that it is used to criticize women for their sexual behavior, I don't use it in the real world, and I don't think of women as "sluts" in that way, because I personally feel if you want to have sex on your own terms, go for it! But precisely because it's so freighted with negative connotations, it's a great, sexy word for erotica, partly because it's transgressive and partly because there's an element of "reclaiming" it for positive purposes, which dovetails nicely with my erotic philosophy. I used the word "slut" in the title of one of my stories, knowing it might hit some people the wrong way, and what I found is that there are plenty of both male and female readers who get off on these kinds of stories and the use of these words. They enjoy the naughty aspect of a woman being called a "slut" or thinking of herself as a "slut." To me, it's perfect grist for the erotica mill.

Regarding your cuckold/slut argument, my approach to that issue is that people should be able to call themselves whatever they want to call themselves in a particular erotic situation. Couples in "stag/vixen" hotwife relationships don't think of it as cuckoldry, because there's no humiliation. But readers who recoil at ANY infidelity stories can't wrap their brains around that. If I wrote a stag/vixen story, I'd use that terminology and avoid the word "cuckold." If I wrote a story about a couple involving erotic cheating and humiliation, I'd dial up the use of the word "cuckold." If I wrote a BTB story, I'd probably use the word "slut" to convey the way the aggrieved husband felt about his cheating wife. It all depends on the story. There's no universal rule about how to use words.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I didn't say either of those things, I said that cuckolding, in the current use of the word, is a subset of the BDSM and Swinging lifestyles and a cuckold is not necessarily raising other men's kids or unaware of her infidelity, nor is in the confines of the current use of label, necessarily unhappy with the situation. I don't understand a spouse that desires to watch their mate fucking another person, but it is none of my business and only concerns the parties concerned.

And for record, in this thread, I haven't condemned the use of any words. In you writing, in your speech, you can use whatever words express the feelings or ideas you want. I've certainly used plenty of offensive words, terms, and expressions in my fiction. I've used the N word and the C word in my writing. These letters represent the two words I never use in the real word. Especially the C word would never cross my lips. I never said any one at any time, is automatically a cuckold if his wife cheats, nor have I said the wife is or isn't a slut. Look back and quote me if I'm wrong.

But I'm done with the subject and wont continue to flog a dead horse. You guys can continue to argue, but I'm not going to participate in the disagreement further.

I'm not sure "pick a position" is a philosophy that works when it comes to writing fiction. Language is a minefield, but it's a minefield to be explored rather than avoided. I don't promote all words, or condemn all words. My justification for using words that may offend some people boils down to: it depends on the circumstances and how the word is used.

I like the word "slut" as a word in erotica. To the extent that it is used to criticize women for their sexual behavior, I don't use it in the real world, and I don't think of women as "sluts" in that way, because I personally feel if you want to have sex on your own terms, go for it! But precisely because it's so freighted with negative connotations, it's a great, sexy word for erotica, partly because it's transgressive and partly because there's an element of "reclaiming" it for positive purposes, which dovetails nicely with my erotic philosophy. I used the word "slut" in the title of one of my stories, knowing it might hit some people the wrong way, and what I found is that there are plenty of both male and female readers who get off on these kinds of stories and the use of these words. They enjoy the naughty aspect of a woman being called a "slut" or thinking of herself as a "slut." To me, it's perfect grist for the erotica mill.

Regarding your cuckold/slut argument, my approach to that issue is that people should be able to call themselves whatever they want to call themselves in a particular erotic situation. Couples in "stag/vixen" hotwife relationships don't think of it as cuckoldry, because there's no humiliation. But readers who recoil at ANY infidelity stories can't wrap their brains around that. If I wrote a stag/vixen story, I'd use that terminology and avoid the word "cuckold." If I wrote a story about a couple involving erotic cheating and humiliation, I'd dial up the use of the word "cuckold." If I wrote a BTB story, I'd probably use the word "slut" to convey the way the aggrieved husband felt about his cheating wife. It all depends on the story. There's no universal rule about how to use words.

I meant no offense toward Millie, but was responding to being called out on evolving words. My terse tone in saying "you" was more intended to the general comments in these forums on that subject, specifically those offended by the term slut and claiming there are no male bashing threads.

The issue I have with these word evolutions is first: what word is there to fill the gap describing a man who unknowingly raise the kids of another via his unfaithful wife? And when others are expanding the definitions, are they ignorantly or knowingly insulting those they toss in.

One of the other terms discussed in these threads is "cis-", and those demanding it's use either knowingly or otherwise ignore the negative connotations that has to others. They fan the flames of division when doing so, and that's counterproductive.

So, word evolution is not always a good thing, and often exploited to drive hatred.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I try to only insult (with any serious intent) the flamer throwing Incels. I have tossed shade (even at you) at times only as a joke, I always try to add Just Kidding, to indicate it is a joke. Not to my victim, you know when I'm serious, but to the others on here who might not get it.