LOVE..love....luv....

[ABSTRUSE]

"Most of you have been where I am tonight. The crash site of unrequited love. You ask yourself, How did I get here? What was it about? Was it her smile? Was it the way she crossed her legs, the turn of her ankle, the poignant vulnerability of her slender wrists? What are these elusive and ephemeral things that ignite passion in the human heart? That's an age-old question. It's perfect food for thought on a bright midsummer's night. "

Martin Sage and Sybil Adelman, Northern Exposure, The Bumpy Road to Love, 1991
____________________________________________________

I've been thinking a lot about Love lately, in all it's shapes and sizes.
We write erotica or porn, so to speak, but what about love? How do you feel when you're in love?
Did you ever feel that you sometimes fail to find the words to express it?
Is it more physical than emotional?

I came across this quote, remembering how much I loved "Northern Exposure" and the way it was written...not to mention Chris's rambles on all sorts of subjects.

Just thought it might be nice to hear some perspectives on the subject of Love.

~A~

 

[Liar]

Love: My one and only fetish.

#L

 

[SnoopDog]

Love: My one and only fetish.

#L

If love is a fetish, call me a pervert.

Snoopy

 

[ABSTRUSE]

But if you were to write about it, how would you approach it?
How do you describe that feeling? Is is really that hard to do?
~A~

 

[minsue]

Yes.


Love encompasses the entire range of feeling, at least for me. Fear, Joy, Bliss, Ecstacy, Grief, Sorrow, Lust...I could go on for hours and still not come close to expressing it.

I'll think on it, though, and get back to you.

 

[neonlyte]

There is nothing I would not do to receive the warmth of your love.

There is no pain I would not bear just to hold you close to me one more time.

Sometimes I wake at night just to stare at you in the dark, taste the sweetness of your breath caressing my skin; watching you calms my fears, prolongs my joy.

So much shared in tears and laughter, memories locked into our souls.

You helped me grow, helped me to see, gave me a reason for being something other than just myself.

We taught each other how to receive as well as to give, love.

NL

 

[ABSTRUSE]

thank you neon, see that's what I want to hear, the voice of the heart........

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Just a hug abstruse. And all the warm feeling that comes with one.

-Colly

 

[SensualCealy]

This may be hard for some to understand knowing how things have been for me lately but...

The way I think about love, specially now is, to love and be loved you have to love the whole person. You have to love the snoring, the dirty underwear beside the hamper, the getting up early just to get him off to work, and making supper even though you worked all day too.

Some days you hate them, but you know without them you would have a void thats hard to fill. If there is any amount of time involved you are so use to having them there beside you helping you take the steps in life, not having them there, who would you turn to?

Love does encompass all, its the way you walk the way you talk, the way you sleep, as long as its together, even if you are apart by distance.

Cealy
ps, hugs to you, knowing you have someone here to talk to!

 

[rgraham666]

I've never been in love, so anything I write about it is simply a figment of the imagination.

Luckily for me, I have a vivid imagination.

 

[Guest]

'struse, most people know that "being in love" and "loving" are very different. From my experience, being in love makes me insane (however much fun or ecstacy it can bring); that can be good or bad depending on the love object, i.e., irrational thinking can lead to pain or bankruptcy.

I learned long ago that real love is active. It comes down to what you do, how you treat the one you love. Expressing love, in any form, including sex, is good, but proving love is harder.

An aside: Jeanette Winterson wrote that "the measure of love is loss"*.

Perdita

*from Written on the Body

 

[damppanties]

Read it somewhere and it stuck in my mind -- "I see myself through your eyes and I fall in love with myself."

will probably come back to this thread...

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Read it somewhere and it stuck in my mind -- "I see myself through your eyes and I fall in love with myself."

will probably come back to this thread...

Sounds like lyrics to a song.......Maybe?

 

[damppanties]

Nope, I don't think so. And I have no idea why it stuck in my mind either... just now, while reading through this thread, it just came back. Considering my thoughts on love, it's really surprising.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

and yet no tales of unrequited love...

No pain and misery brought on by love?

Just playing Devil's advocate.

~A~

 

[curious2c]

I try to bring out a husband and wife's love for each other in some of my stories...(And get hammered for it in the process) and at times I can see in my mine what I mean, but to put it on paper or in text is quite a difficult thing to do. I attempt to show how love can overcome some bad things...and having been in situations in my time, I can see where love acknowledged may have changed an outcome. Some things have to be experienced in order to know how to put it in text form. Even then, it is difficult.

 

[NoJo]

Read it somewhere and it stuck in my mind -- "I see myself through your eyes and I fall in love with myself."

will probably come back to this thread...

damp, that's a very thought-provoking description of love.

I met a man today who was going through a divorce because his partner had "fallen out of love" with him. The pain of unreciprocated love frightens a lot of people off falling in love in the first place. That hackneyed phrase "It's better to have loved and lost..." can't really be improved upon.

 

[minsue]

and yet no tales of unrequited love...

No pain and misery brought on by love?

Just playing Devil's advocate.

~A~

I've plenty of tales of unrequited love and more of pain and misery brought on by love, but no answers to your original questions. If you'll settle for a tale instead of answers, I'll offer you one of love and the mix of emotions that often, for me, stand side by side with it.

Two of my best friends in the world were married a few months ago and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I've never felt such a bizarre confusing swirl of emotions as I did standing there watching them marry.

I've known the groom since we were 12 years old and I realized at 13 that I loved him. All through high school, I loved him. He was the best friend I had, the one steady stable person throughout the tumult of teenage angst. He loved me, too, of course. Just not the way I loved him. As is the case with most of those I've loved, part of me loves him still.

The bride I didn't meet until we were about 15, but I had a crush on her instantly. She was the 2nd of the only 2 girls I've ever kissed and the only one that counted for me. Alas, she kissed me out of curiosity not lust or love. She would, however, let me pretend to be her girlfriend at parties when drunk guys would keep hitting on her which was most parties. She is one of those women who is always the beacon to men, and some women as well, and they flock to her. So drunk little me would get to hold her in my lap and tell them to back the fuck off. And, if she was drunk enough and I was insistant enough, sometimes I got to kiss her again.

So, I stood next to the altar watching these two people, the two great unrequited loves of my youth, join together. I was jealous of him. I was jealous of her. I was also so filled with love for them both and an unbelievable joy. I've never known two people in my life who compliment each other better than they do. I generally hate the phrase perfect couple, but they are the closest I've ever seen. She is damaged and fragile at times. He is stable and amazingly compassionate. Both have sharp minds and razor wits. Watching them banter is great entertainment. Watching them marry was as moving to me as anything I've seen.

- Mindy

 

[Honey123]

Love is not supposed to hurt, right?

Love is not supposed to break your heart, right?

Love is supposed to make you happy, rght?

LOVE.....a feeling that we all want...we all need...we all look for...love makes your heart pound, your mouth dry, your body quake...

LOVE.....a feeling that we all hate....we all curse...we all turn our heads from....love makes your heart break, your mouth fown, your body curl into a ball....


"Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reasons from coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. " --Kent Nerburn

 

[Remec]

When I was much younger, something like sixth or seventh grade, I wrote a short couple of lines that expressed the kernel of what one friend in college later termed my "cynical romanticism".


Life

Life is happiness;
Life is sorrow;
The misery that's past,
and the joy of tomorrow.


For me, Love is a lot like that. It's both all the horribleness that is to be risked and feared, as well as all that is good and desireable in the world. You can't have one without the other.

 

[NoJo]

I've plenty of tales of unrequited love...

...Watching them marry was as moving to me as anything I've seen.

- Mindy

Wow. That's a story. It made me remember that there's so many different kinds of love.

You said you had a "crush" on her -- as though that wasn't "real" love. But I think it probably is a kind of love. In fact I think it's the most intense love people feel.

We all sort of understand on this thread that loving your parents, children, even teddy bears and cholocates are not "on topic". But why? What's the missing element that makes all those kinds of love different from the "love" of this topic?

Is it just Sex?

 

[minsue]

Wow. That's a story. It made me remember that there's so many different kinds of love.

You said you had a "crush" on her -- as though that wasn't "real" love. But I think it probably is a kind of love. In fact I think it's the most intense love people feel.

It was love. And a crush. And, yes, intense.

We all sort of understand on this thread that loving your parents, children, even teddy bears and cholocates are not "on topic". But why? What's the missing element that makes all those kinds of love different from the "love" of this topic?

Is it just Sex?

I don't think it's off topic at all. I wish I could remember the book I read it in, but the line, 'You don't just love your children, you fall in love with them,' immediately comes to mind. I've no children and I will have none, but I've fallen in love with many children. My nieces and nephews have me wrapped around their fingers and know it. I loved them when they were born, or when I met them after marraige brought us together, but I also fell in love with them over time.

It is different, of course. But I don't think it's off topic.

 

[Guest]

We all sort of understand on this thread that loving your parents, children, even teddy bears and cholocates are not "on topic". But why? What's the missing element that makes all those kinds of love different from the "love" of this topic? Is it just Sex?

Sex has to be in the mix somewhere, even if it's unconsummated. It merely distinquishes some love from others.

'For the most part', parents, children, teddybears and chocolate don't abandon you. Lovers can. It's my greatest fear still. I have been abandoned three times, once by the love of my life. After death, it's the worst emotional trial of life for me.

The loss of love through abandonment or rejection can't help but feel deeply like a loss of self. It takes a long time to get over that. It really is like a death.

If you believe that no one can know you as you know yourself, really know you, then when it 'seems' someone sees you, and even likes what they see, even loves what they see, then it's easy to think they possess you somehow. So when they discard you it's as if your 'self' were thrown away. It's all emotional and irrational, but if your love was real it takes a long time to know that you're still alive, here, intact, whole.

This has not kept me from loving again and again. A good friend, after I lost my great love, wrote to me that I would not be experiencing the pain I had if I had not also had the gift of accepting and living the joy, the loss of which now caused the pain. I still risk pain, I cannot help it.

Love is a miracle to me.

Perdita

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Love is walking away when asked, though you desperately want to stay.

~lucky

 

[Guest]

Love is the most powerful of all emotions. It encompasses every extreme of emotion known to humans... Joy, grief, pleasure, pain, thrill, excitement, misery, fulfillment, emptiness, loneliness, mind-numbing, earth-shattering ecstasy, anger, rage, frustration, disappoinment, laughter, and peace.

Love is... missing someone so much, it physically hurts.

Love is... stomach churning, mouth drying, exciting anticipation.

Love is... not wanting to change a thing about the person you love.

Lou