Love and trust and other good stuff

[Guest]

 

[estevie]

No, I trust my lover without one single doubt.

Vindictivess is not a trait that pops up over night. Somewhere along the line, it may not have been directed at her, but somewhere..his true colors were shining through.

 

[MysteryJKR]

I personally dont think, or at least would hope thats not entirely true..

I do think that I can trust certain people with anything and feel comfortabe enough with them to reveal things and not have to worry about it getting out. Even if it was after a relationship. Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship.

I have been upset with people I care for. As well as with people I dont. lol

But I know for a fact, that regardless of the person I would most deffinatly be a trustworthy person and not reveal secrets and/or personal things about him/her if it was wrong to do so.

& If that other person happened to be a friend, or a current/past love than that statement would be even stronger, whether or not the relationship ended badly or that person is no where to be seen. It just isnt right and I just wouldnt be able to do that.

Any of that make sence? lol *shrugs*

 

[StondTmplPilot]

it may end up getting me hurt...

but i tend to trust people in general, until given a reason not to trust them. On the other hand, I also hold myself accountable for all of my actions as well. I feel that if someone is my friend, and has confided in me, then they have invested a trust in me that can not be broken. I will not break that trust. It is called being a friend...and being worthy of trust is nothing to take lightly. Once the bond of trust has been broken, there is no repairing it.

 

[Rubyfruit]

It takes two

I've never had a past lover turn on me. People who are real with their feelings, generally get the same in return, in my experience.

In the thread you talked about, the man said that she ruined his life and his business. I'm not saying that's reason enough for being vindictive, however, it doesn't sound like she played fair either. He shouldn't stoop to her level though.

I trust people with my heart. If I didn't I wouldn't get to experience the wonderful human connections that I do. I haven't been wrong yet and I'm 38.

Ruby

 

[KillerMuffin]

I trust my StudMuffin. He's afraid of me.



Well just oh my gawd, I'm kidding!!!!! The man isn't that afraid of anything. Well, he's afraid of two things, but one of the things wouldn't stop him if he got pissed and the other thing he's already faced down, but it still crops up.

 

[Guest]

 

[Silverlily]

Posing for pictures is not necessarily indicative of trust, some folks get naked without hesitation. Maybe she was just an exhibitionist.

Back to the question, I don't believe you can truly know someone without some kind of major upheaval. You know, true colors and all that.

 

[MidnightAngel]

IMHO, I don't think we can ever totally know someone else, no matter how close we are to them. My partner is my best friend but I don't presume to know everything about him or even how he might react in certain circumstances. I trust him... but not completely. Is this common for all of you?

Oh Yes! That's me.....I don't trust anyone "completely". I will say, though, that I did have a similar 'situation' that had better results. When we got a divorce, my former husband kept a video tape of he and I. He says he still has it (we've been divorced 6 years), and says he's never shown it to anyone; which is true as far as I know. I guess after all this time, I don't even worry about him showing it to anyone now.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Trust someone I've meet on the net enough to send them naked pics.... NEVER. Anyone can type words in the end.....

Trust my man of 15 years that if he took photos that they would never be shown "anywhere"... YES

I tend to have faith (dif from trust) with people until they prove me otherwise. You can have faith in someone to be your friend, but its if you trust them enough to hand the areas of your life over to, that you don't want every Tom, Dick and Harry knowing about is another thing.

 

[morninggirl5]

. I trust him... but not completely. Is this common for all of you?

Trust is the crucial element in a relationship for me. Until I trust someone enough to share my inner self with them, there really isn't a relationship at all.

There are things I have never shared with anyone. They are at the center of me and I protect them with all my being. If anyone ever gets my complete trust, they'll know those secrets.

 

[bluntforcemama]

I trust those I feel are closest to me, and I always will. I know my ex like no one does, but I also will never betray his trust because that's the kind of person I am. Chances are that if this unregistered is willing to post pictures of his ex on the internet, she would probably do the same to him. Funny looking-people date other funny-looking people. If trust was an issue before this incident for unregistered, it sure as heck will be worse now. Take the high road, and be someone we can respect. Revenge is for idiots with an IQ below 110 (which is average, btw.)

 

[YogiBare]

I guess that for me, trust is earned rather than granted as an automatic right. In terms of intimacy, we all come with a "Buyer Beware" sticker on our foreheads.

Fortunately, there are a lot of lovely, trustworthy people in this world. I include all of my present and former lovers in this category.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

No, I trust my lover without one single doubt.

Vindictivess is not a trait that pops up over night. Somewhere along the line, it may not have been directed at her, but somewhere..his true colors were shining through.

I disagree - my ex showed not one wit of her lust for revenge until we broke up, and then when it did come out, it was too late to do anything about it.

She couldn't do much but bad mouth me to her friends and relatives, but I know she did come between myself and my daughter at times, including badmouthing me. Fortunately my daughter saw through most of it then, and has seen through all of it now.

I am sure she thought she was vindicated in her behavior, but she has mostly gotten over it now - she could only stay angry for a decade or so.

As for trust - that is a hard one. Trust has to be earned, even with a loved one. I have been betrayed a few times, but usually by someone that I should have known better about. I tend to trust people more than I should, but if you can't trust someone you are intimate with, then you either have real personal problems, or you are with the wrong person.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I rarely trust completely. It's a character flaw, i suppose, but it's served me well. There is no one on the planet who knows everything about me, though if all my friends, both online and in real life got together and compared notes, they'd get a pretty detailed picture of my lifetime.

different friends are given different pieces of information based on what our relationship is, and how important i feel it is that they know a specific thing about me.

i'm only 28 though. is cynicism reversible?

 

[Elizabeth]

For me, trust has to be earned. My ex epitomised all the reasons to never trust and never allow anyone to get close enough to love me. I did find a man who loves me and has never waivered, but I still find myself occasionally questioning things. And I hate this about myself because there is no need to question.

 

[ChaoticLil]

Because of my various sexual kinks i have to trust my Master with my life.

i'm not a very trusting person, but when it comes to close friends and/or lovers there has to be some kind of bond besides mutual interests. There is also different levels of trust. Like i said before, i trust my Master with my life, but because of my husband not sharing the same kinks i will not be comfortable with him doing the same things. That doesn't mean that i don't trust my husband because it do. But since he doens't share what i have with Master i can't be comfortable with him doing the same things (which he understands and actually agrees with). In fact, my husband and my Master (and Master's spice) are the only people that i trust with my inner most thoughts and feelings.

i know without a doubt that they won't breech the trust i give them.

 

[juicylips]

As for trust - that is a hard one. Trust has to be earned, even with a loved one. I have been betrayed a few times, but usually by someone that I should have known better about. I tend to trust people more than I should, but if you can't trust someone you are intimate with, then you either have real personal problems, or you are with the wrong person.

I am in total agreement with the statement above. The subject of trust has recently come up between me and someone special. Why do we trust each other? I think it is because we are too much alike. We see the same things in each other and therefore feel we know the other so well. Have I been burned by trusting someone? Not yet. I tend to be pretty optimisitc.

Cassidy

 

[Dazed N Confused]

Trust: Either you do or you do'nt, but if you don't you can't love. If you stop trusting does that mean you stop loving. I had an ex a few years back who trusted so much but yet she needeed constant reassurance of my love and trust

 

[LadyDarkFire]

I do not trust people completely, because of certain things in my past that are just there, but I do trust everyone to an extent. I will trust a person with friendship, and the level of faith that involves, until he or she proves that the trust was misplaced. My general rule is "Fool Me Once, shame on you, Fool Me Twice, shame on me." It's kept me out of some nasty situations.

 

[plasticman33]

I have a special friend.....

who sent me some very explicit pictures of herself. This was early in our relationship, which has developed into a commited relationship, but was it foolish for her to trust me that early on? I'd say yes, at that time she really didn't know me, I could have posted them anywhere or even sent them to her family. I would never do anything to hurt her and she can trust me implicitly, but she didn't know that then!

 

[juicylips]

Re: I have a special friend.....

who sent me some very explicit pictures of herself. This was early in our relationship, which has developed into a commited relationship, but was it foolish for her to trust me that early on? I'd say yes, at that time she really didn't know me, I could have posted them anywhere or even sent them to her family. I would never do anything to hurt her and she can trust me implicitly, but she didn't know that then!

Sometimes I think that there are more people like your friend out there in the world who are very trusting than those who hold back and are suspicious.

Cassidy

 

[plasticman33]

I agree Cassidy!

Naive and trusting can be a dangerous mix.

 

[registered "^^"]

Re: I agree Cassidy!

Naive and trusting can be a dangerous mix.

especially if your married.

 

[plasticman33]

Re: Re: I agree Cassidy!

especially if your married.

Can't argue with that!