Looking for that frisson again

[EnglishAgain]

well, I must admit that yes, I have been lurking here...not so much plotting though as thoroughly enjoying your posts. You certainly know how to bring a smile.

So I'm offering a little bump (with optional grind ) in the hopes that you'll find your writing mojo... assuming of course that Mr. G's advice hasn't already helped in that regard.

Smiling? Well hopefully. Let's not start directly with a smile though, shall we? Let's start with a glance, and that sudden illicit thrill when you realise that I'm glancing back at the same time. Quick, make a decision, do you break eye contact and look away or keep looking directly at me? Why haven't I looked away yet? You can see the very corners of my mouth soften, not grinning or smiling broadly, just an easing of the facial muscles and a twinkling in the eye that says "Hey, you know what, you've really caught my eye." You're not certain what's happening? Well, I can tell you I'm somewhere being flustered at being caught admiring you so openly and amusement that you are in the same predicament because this is more than a glance now. This is a full on stare, something that should have been just a quick make-and-break eye contact has now become a shared moment of intimacy, of expressed interest, a realisation that I think you're hot.
Is that the beginnings of a smile now? Certainly my smile has broadened now, my lips parting in friendly welcome but my eyes noticing the fullness of your mouth at the same time.

Frisson? Oh yeah, I should coco!

So thanks, Y.E.T, my mojo is mucho grande, the optional grind has turned me from casual typist to rapid repartee without going through any gearchanges in the middle. I am, in short (although actually I'm not that short, I'm 6 feet from tip to toe, which is really quite tall when you think about it) restored and very flattered by your praise.

mwah

 

[EnglishAgain]

speciality bumps

Oh, I have to admit you've certainly made me chuckle.

So you get a special bump from me.

A special bump? I am honoured, I believe. What is a special bump though? Is it one of those continental type bumps? you know, the ones with the Chanel dress on that shares a glass of wine out on the terrace with you first? Perhaps it's a New York sort of bump - extra tall, no foam and with chocolate sprinkles? There is always the United Kingdom speciality bump - which dresses in period costume and bumps you in rhyming couplets. "Soft, what light through yonder window breaks? Tis my bump, not one of those other fakes" Ah, now I see from your profile that you are a literature student at university, so perhaps it is one of those specially educated bumps, reasoned and well thought out, compared and contrasted with other bumps and found textually superior in every way.

Whichever it is, many thanks, LavenderMouse. It makes my day.

(Is this too rambling now, this thread? I mean, you can tell me if it is. I won;t be offended. Honestly I won't. Look, I'll go over there and sit down with my coffee, freshly ground (whole lotta grinding going on in this thread now, isn't there?) and you can just write your answer here and then leave it pinned up so I can read it. I won't hold it against you. Well, maybe I will, right up against you if you ask nicely enough...oh dear, the darkness has come over me again)

Have fun

 

[EnglishAgain]

How is it we can have re-plys? We didn't have plys in the first place. My first post didn't get a re-post, it got a re-ply, yet it wasn't a ply it was a post. Confused?

Anyway, I digress slightly. For those of you wonderful people reading this thread and not contributing, shame on you. There are other wonderful people out there waiting to see your witty postings so they can look up your profile, then look at any other postings you've made, before going off to read your stories. Then they'll get in touch with you, you'll establish a fantastic rapport, the banter and repartee will fly back and forth across the interweb, your scintillating conversations will alight in you both a passion for life, a zest for each other and a warmth to your fellow human beings. This warmth will spread, sucking the nastiness and pettiness from those around you by a process of osmosis. Eventually you will both be recognised as the arbiters of human worldwide happiness and invited to share in the Nobel Peace Prize for 2014. There you shall meet and share smiles and laughter over a cup of tea and a plate of warm scones.
Of course, if you don't post anything, we'll never know. It's up to you. No pressure.

 

[PaintedSeamstryss]

Ok today I shall end the "shame" and contribute to your thread...

Hate I missed the buffing of the nipples earlier, perhaps if I ask nicely and flutter my eyelashes, you would feel compelled to oblige me.....But at the same time, I wonder, what compelled you do buff them in the first place? Had they lost their luster?

Was taking a break from trying to learn to knit fog and thought I would say hellooooooo....

Hugs & Lix!

 

[Scotsman69]

You wordy bastard you! Hardly anyone dares to post on this thread cos nobody can match your witanrepartee. But I'd love to be able to!

 

[katze101]

Ooohlala! A Scotsman would like to challenge the textually talented EnglishAgain! Will the brave Scot match the agile Englishman's verbosity?

To Mr. Scotsman: now you know the trick of having the ladies bump your thread. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

To EnglishAgain: I'm bumping your thread again for you. Seems all the love and goodwill is spreading from your thread into the personals. Maybe we can have a natter over the Nobel peace prize over a cuppa and some scones?

 

[your_eager_toy]

no pressure?!

humble and demure woman that I am, I do not seek a Nobel Prize... but I can't in all good conscience risk humankind's worldwide happiness when all you ask is a simple post to your thread.

so, that taken care of... I was wondering about your tagline EA...

I was under the impression that men had two heads and it was listening to the wrong one that most often got them into sticky situations.

So to speak.

Y.E.T.

 

[EnglishAgain]

You wordy bastard you! Hardly anyone dares to post on this thread cos nobody can match your witanrepartee. But I'd love to be able to!

Right then Scotsman, I've looked at your profile and I think I can take you on. After all, just because you're an experienced sort of chap, well read, literate, verbally agile and passionate about the causes you believe in doesn't mean anything, does it? The ladies (and gentlemen of course) of Literotica aren't going to start cheering for you just because you have testosterone enough to throw down a challenge to someone they're already talking to. Nor will they get turned on by the realisation that your mental agility is matched by a strong moral compass and the courage to speak out against the mindless morons elsewhere on this board. I mean, it's not as if the fact that you have a sense of humour will get people talking...

Oh......

Bugger. Well, um...I bet you've got bandy legs then.

Have fun

 

[EnglishAgain]

buffing nipples

Ok today I shall end the "shame" and contribute to your thread...

Hate I missed the buffing of the nipples earlier, perhaps if I ask nicely and flutter my eyelashes, you would feel compelled to oblige me.....But at the same time, I wonder, what compelled you do buff them in the first place? Had they lost their luster?

Was taking a break from trying to learn to knit fog and thought I would say hellooooooo....

Hugs & Lix!

Why do ladies flutter their eyelashes? Why do men find it attractive? I have this problem where people who bat their eyelashes at me repeatedly are immensely sexually attractive. So far I've been arrested three times during a dust storm in Tunisia and once when someone with hayfever was doing those cute little series of sneezes. How was I to know she wasn't coming on to me?

Nipple buffing is for those who really want to be well groomed. I can recommend soft polishing cloths, and heartily wish to point out the avoidance of scouring pads. Also never try using Deep Heat. Great for athletes, bad for nipples.

My latest vanity is eyebrow trimming. I was getting annoyed at the mass of forestry that seems to inhabit my lower brow, so I decided to try shaving. That left things stubbly so then I did tweezers. Soooo slow. Waxing is ok, but when you leave it to set too hard you pull off half your skin too. I now have the perfect answer. I bought a little gas soldering iron, it's like a flamethrower in miniature. Point, light, hair trimmed!





Ooooooowwwwww.


Now I walk around everywhere looking startled.

 

[EnglishAgain]

humble and demure woman that I am, I do not seek a Nobel Prize... but I can't in all good conscience risk humankind's worldwide happiness when all you ask is a simple post to your thread.

so, that taken care of... I was wondering about your tagline EA...

I was under the impression that men had two heads and it was listening to the wrong one that most often got them into sticky situations.

So to speak.

Y.E.T.

Two heads, you say? Fourskins, two heads, my word, we are really a lucky bunch. It actually doesn't matter how many heads we have, the family brain cell is usually being looked after by someone else anyway.

If I only listened to my penis, I'd spend most of my time thinking "Wow, it's dark in here".

 

[EnglishAgain]

verbosity

Ooohlala! A Scotsman would like to challenge the textually talented EnglishAgain! Will the brave Scot match the agile Englishman's verbosity?

To Mr. Scotsman: now you know the trick of having the ladies bump your thread. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

To EnglishAgain: I'm bumping your thread again for you. Seems all the love and goodwill is spreading from your thread into the personals. Maybe we can have a natter over the Nobel peace prize over a cuppa and some scones?

Pot? Pot? Oh Pot? Is that a black kettle over there? I'm sure it is, wow, that's so black, that kettle....

It is patently obvious that the wordsmith of this thread is you, little lady. This trick you have of standing on the sidelines and egging on the protagonists won't work any more, we' have seen through your cunning plan. Scotsman and I will be round to your house soon where we shall feed you marshmallows dipped in chocolate whilst spanking you hard with a packet of frozen peas until you say sorry.

Oh dear, off into the realms of my favourite frozen pea fantasy now. Please excuse me, I may be some time......brrrr.

 

[TallMan60]

I'm a total dude, so I'm not what you are after, but I have to say I love reading your thread. And I'm sure you will have no trouble attracting whatever women you like. Just a hint, you might want to go to a place like the playground and post on others' threads to get to know people there.

And I'm jealous about what you did with your wife. I have read Mr. G's instructions as well, but my wife is not interested in that, hopefully she will be in a few years.

I wish you great success!

 

[katze101]

war of words?

Right then Scotsman, I've looked at your profile and I think I can take you on. After all, just because you're an experienced sort of chap, well read, literate, verbally agile and passionate about the causes you believe in doesn't mean anything, does it? The ladies (and gentlemen of course) of Literotica aren't going to start cheering for you just because you have testosterone enough to throw down a challenge to someone they're already talking to. Well, um...I bet you've got bandy legs then.

Ooohlala! The Englishman has risen up to the Scotsman's challenge! Was that a thinly-veiled insult, albeit masked in oh-so-polite banter? Will this be a battle of brains or brawn? Will the Scot wear his kilt and avenge his honour (and his legs)? Who will win in this battle of verbosity? A duel to the death? Will they choose the rapier or pistols? Who will volunteer to be the "seconds"? C'mon, gentlemen, there should be one "friend" for the Scot, another for the Englishman. Whoever wins this war of words will get to have tea and scones with one of the ladies in EnglishAgain's cyberharem of Lovely Lit Ladies. Let's see, there's Nobody's Fool, Mitsuoko, asti246, Chieda, Your Eager Toy, LavenderMouse, and PaintedSeamstrys. (I'm exempted because I'm the reporter, lol). Stay tuned, folks!

 

[Scotsman69]

Oh Englishman, there is no batle of the brains here. In my original post I was simply expressing my regret that my own witanrepartee could never match yours. Truly, no insult intended. My brains were always intended for both greater and lesser things. Increasingly the latter, as my brown hair is now almost completely silver.

Originally, that is. But now you have chosen to insult my legs.....oh, can hardly bear it....

They are mountaineers' legs, English wimp. They have occasionally stravaiged what you call mountains in the southern Pennines. We call them wee boring rounded lumps here.

But I only do the climbing to make the legs look good under my kilt, for entirely sexual purposes. (Alas, it rarely works.)

Oh, and of course, to catch the haggi.

Take care with your witanrepartee....

Scotsman69

 

[Scotsman69]

My sweet katze, are you volunteering as my second. Damn, on closer reading you aren't.

Some other sweet lassie perhaps?

I promise to buy a pint of Deuchar's for whoever will come to my aid. And if she is very lucky, smack her bot playfully as we ascend life's mountains together............

 

[Scotsman69]

And katze, do NOT be decieved by the sassenach's empty promises. Chocolate marshmallows do not grow in Derbyshire. They are the favourite nibble of the haggis though.

 

[your_eager_toy]

I promise to buy a pint of Deuchar's for whoever will come to my aid. And if she is very lucky, smack her bot playfully as we ascend life's mountains together............

Surely the promise of a pint is unnecessary when you embody the sheer temptation of a kilted Scotsman with a mountaineer's legs?

It certainly tempts me to dig up and polish every good luck charm I own.

 

[Scotsman69]

Careful......I hear there are mountains in Alberta. And you too.....how could I resist, with cheap direct flights from Glasgow to Calgary?

 

[EnglishAgain]

I'm a total dude, so I'm not what you are after, but I have to say I love reading your thread. And I'm sure you will have no trouble attracting whatever women you like. Just a hint, you might want to go to a place like the playground and post on others' threads to get to know people there.

And I'm jealous about what you did with your wife. I have read Mr. G's instructions as well, but my wife is not interested in that, hopefully she will be in a few years.

I wish you great success!

Wow, that avatar does say Total Dude, in a world where there is not enough dudedom to go round. This whole brood can allude to you, dude, as not lewd. Thanks for posting, but beware that if you catch the eye of one of the ladies then they may consume you in short order. I was actually chewed up, digested and then spat out over two weeks ago, but regurgitated in the form of a James Blunt song. "yar byooteeful, iss troo"

Don't be jealous about my wife and I, it's taken us 20 years of marriage to get to this point and it has been worth the wait. We're now so rock solid it's like we're made of toughened granite with a covering of titanium superglued to it. That being said, she's still hell to be around in the mornings. Oh bugger, I've gone wandering off into my own world again. Sorry, quick, have a look round, see if you can see a way out. Anyone got a torch?

Ah, here we are. Anyway, thanks TotallyTallDudeMan for the recommendation for the Playground. I'll try to get there soon but I'm a bit of a cautious, stick in the mud kind of chap. Perhaps we could all go? Hold hands and make a line, we're following the leader, the leader, the leader. We're following the leader to the deviance and perversion of the playground where we can talk sex and drugs and sausage rolls.

Have fun

 

[geronimo_appleby]

You wordy bastard you! Hardly anyone dares to post on this thread cos nobody can match your witanrepartee. But I'd love to be able to!

i'll have a go.

 

[EnglishAgain]

Oh Englishman, there is no batle of the brains here. In my original post I was simply expressing my regret that my own witanrepartee could never match yours. Truly, no insult intended. My brains were always intended for both greater and lesser things. Increasingly the latter, as my brown hair is now almost completely silver.

Originally, that is. But now you have chosen to insult my legs.....oh, can hardly bear it....

They are mountaineers' legs, English wimp. They have occasionally stravaiged what you call mountains in the southern Pennines. We call them wee boring rounded lumps here.

But I only do the climbing to make the legs look good under my kilt, for entirely sexual purposes. (Alas, it rarely works.)

Oh, and of course, to catch the haggi.

Take care with your witanrepartee....

Scotsman69

Mountain ears and legs? Ah scotsman, the tall tales you tell. We should draw swords at 6 paces. You can use crayons or watercolours of you like, so long as there is drawing. Now tell me about these small rounded lumps. Do they hurt at all? What if I press here and here?

I shan't even get into the talk of honing your legs for sexual porpoises. Dolphin sex can be orcad, I mean awkward.

So, you may be more kilting willy than lilting lily but I shall not be deterred. Already yourEagerToy may have defected, drawn to the celtic lilt of your scots syntax, but I am still confident. Wordy bastard as I am, I think it's time for diction at dawn.

Have fun, scotsman, thanks for the witanrepartee

 

[EnglishAgain]

i'll have a go.

Oh come on, look, there's you with 29 thousand submissives, I mean submissions, and more stories to your name than Agatha Christie, ranged against your mighty forces is me with a solitary thread and already locked in epistolary egotism with a jock in a frock. What chance do I stand?

Notice too that the ladies have all kept very quiet. Katze absented herself immediately, Y.E.T. leapt over to the dark side in a heartbeat, and the rest are stoically silent. I bet they're all sitting over there, see behind that statue of Peter Pan? Look at them, sharing all those scones and placing bets on the outcome.

Aw, I feel picked on now.

 

[EnglishAgain]

And katze, do NOT be decieved by the sassenach's empty promises. Chocolate marshmallows do not grow in Derbyshire. They are the favourite nibble of the haggis though.

Empty promises? Ha, not true. I can guarantee a smile.

Your words cut me like a viciously sharpened sausage

 

[Scotsman69]

As to your frozen pees, wimp? I have heard of watersports. I have climbed frozen waterfalls.

But beating a lassie with frozen pee?

Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells

 

[Scotsman69]

I'm afraid I have to grant you the smile-power, which nodody else on this thread (so far) has been able to match.

But when it comes to the really important things in life, like being world champions at Elephant Polo, where are you?

Just sitting trying to mint your next pathetic riposte.