Looking for some advice on relationships and mmf threesomes

[phantom/delight]

Some background, first: I have been with my wonderful partner for over two years. We are totally besotted with each other, and he fulfills my every need (both sexually and emotionally).

But recently, I have met a guy who really turns me on (mentally and physically), and I'm finding it difficult to ignore this. He is a very innocent virgin, and says that he wouldn't be able to let his emotions for me overcome his views on the supposed 'morals' of the situation.

I don't want him to replace my loved angel boy - but I do really want to experiment with this new guy.

My priority is my existing relationship, I wish to make that clear. I would never do anything that would jeapoardise that.

So, what are people's views on the viability of being able to have a long-term partner and a 'lover', as such?

I would love to explore the three of us having fun together too - could this be an option?

 

[silverwhisper]

first, discuss w/ your SO. i do not believe in duplicity in relationships, even unimportant ones. do you guys discuss your sexual fantasies? if not, maybe you should start. you can get his views on the matter through his responses to fantasies. once the idea is out there, discuss it openly.

however, if he really does fulfill your every need, then i would think you wouldn't have an attraction to this other guy.

ed

 

[Lynxie]

Ed's right - you need to discuss this with your partner first and foremost. Be completely honest with him; let him know you've met someone, how you feel about him, and what you'd like to do about it. Be prepared for him to say 'no way' - he may not want to share you with another man. If he does consider it, however, there are some great threads about threesoms and group sex hanging around here where you could get some advice as to how you should proceed. Good luck - conflicting emotions are never easy to deal with.

 

[phantom/delight]

I have discussed it with my SO - he said he understands how I feel (which is nice), but isn't sure of the rammifications of any action.

As far as including this guy in our bedroom relationship (so to speak), he said his body was interested, but his mind hadn't had a chance to catch up yet. (Hehe.)

Thanks for the advice.

I was just wondering if anyone has faced a similar situation, and how it turned out for them.

 

[silverwhisper]

been there. but you have to be very careful b/c it can easily wreck a relationship. as i mentioned in another thread, he needs to be sure that he can handle/wants to see another guy in all his glory. will he care whose name you happen to be calling out? male egos can be fragile things.

ed

 

[Eilan]

I have discussed it with my SO - he said he understands how I feel (which is nice), but isn't sure of the rammifications of any action.

Quite honestly, you're never really sure of how you'll act in situations like these. Your SO is right to be concerned. The decision to include someone else in your sex life should never, ever be taken lightly.

As far as including this guy in our bedroom relationship (so to speak), he said his body was interested, but his mind hadn't had a chance to catch up yet.

While the idea of watching you take on another cock might be appealing to him, the reality is that he might feel angry and/or jealous when it actually does happen.

I was just wondering if anyone has faced a similar situation, and how it turned out for them.

My husband and I have had MMFs. I can count the number of times on one hand and still have fingers left over, though, so while I have some experience, it's pretty limited. We do not, however, have an open relationship, nor would we even consider it. I'm not remotely interested in "playing" without him.

While I made the final choice as to who would join us, my husband and I made the arrangements, set the ground rules, and did general correspondence as a couple. We had positive experiences, but it's not something that we're currently interested in doing, except when we fantasize about it during sex.

Keep the lines of communication open and be safe.

 

[SweetErika]

I feel it's difficult, but absolutely possible to have multiple relationships. A lot will disagree, but I don't see anything wrong with it as long as everyone involved is on the same page, and there's constant communication. When done right, I think it can greatly enhance a person and primary relationship.

A few things to consider:
-What's really the state of your primary relationship? What do you need to work on?
-How is your communication with everyone involved?
-Why do you want to do this? What do you feel you will get out of it?
-What are the possible threats the other person poses to your primary relationship? Are there fears of emotional involvement, health/safety, that you may leave for the other person, the other will be better than you current lover?
-What kind of relationship will it be?
-Will your spouse be free to do the same if they want? It doesn't have to go both ways, but you want to avoid any resentment and miscommunication.
-Do you want your spouse to be involved? Does he? Or do you want to keep this somewhat separate?
-What are the boundaries?
-What are permissable and off-limits activities?
-What will you do if your spouse starts feeling bad?
-How does the new lover feel about all of this? What does he envision for the relationship, devotion of time, emotions, etc.?

 

[FantasiaRealms]

It might also help if the two men were really close friends, or at least held much in common interests with one another, besides their interest in the female. I think, though if everyone is willing, and there is no reason to have the threesome, other than to enjoy the time together, it is definately a good possibility that things could work out quite well for all three. No matter what though, after a thing like this is undertaken, and the act is done...there really is no turning back. But life is meant to be savored. I say go for it, and enjoy your world!

~Fantasia

 

[supahstoopid]

...the other perspective

As a guy who fantasizes about my girl taking on another cock, I would still have real trouble moving from the realm of fantasy to reality. My girl is aware of my fantasy, and indulges me. She seems to enjoy participating in the fantasy. However, ultimately, moving from disembodied images to another real person in the bedroom is a bit stultifying in terms of a turn-on. If you feel that you really wish to go through with it, then realize that you are essentially crossing the sexual Rubicon, and entering territory from whence you can derive little past experience in handling (I'm talking about relationship-wise). It sounds like you have a good relationship with your SO, and whether you wish to gamble on something like that is ultimately your call. My advice would be to stick to the fantasy for the time being; it may help him visualize the real thing so as to desensitize him if you ever get real. But ultimately, I would not play with something that isn't broke. If you are happy, then the status quo really is no disappointment. I have personally found writing erotica a good way to purge myself. Good luck with it!
Regards,
SoupRstuep-ID