Hello to all. I am a very happily married midwestern woman, with a longtime fantasy of making love with another woman. My husband does not know of this. We have always had a standard sex life, but recently, things have really picked up. After 13 years this has been incredibly exciting for both of us and I think that he would adore an alternative adventure with me. How should I bring it up? I would imagine he is thinking the same as I am (I hope!), but if not, will this kill our newly rekindeled sexuality?
Looking for adventure, where to begin?
- Thread starter hadlee
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willywanker
just one man's opinion
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2000
- Posts
- 3,620
If you are thinking about asking your husband if you can invite a woman into your bed to share, you would make most men's fantasies come true.
If you are thinking of asking him if he wants to watch while you make love to another woman, you probably still get a very excited husband when the woman leaves.
If your thinking about asking if you alone can take on a female lover, and he's left out, the poor guy will wonder what he's doing wrong.
Just one guys oppinion.
If you are thinking of asking him if he wants to watch while you make love to another woman, you probably still get a very excited husband when the woman leaves.
If your thinking about asking if you alone can take on a female lover, and he's left out, the poor guy will wonder what he's doing wrong.
Just one guys oppinion.
let me clarify...
I absolutely want him involved! I guess my question should have been: how do I go about making this happen? Should I try to set something up myself and have it be a "suprise", wait forever for "something" to happen, or should I tell him the truth and we can search together?
I absolutely want him involved! I guess my question should have been: how do I go about making this happen? Should I try to set something up myself and have it be a "suprise", wait forever for "something" to happen, or should I tell him the truth and we can search together?
G
Guest
Guest
Hadlee,
During your newfound passions between you and your husband, have either of you shared your fantasies? If so, then you're on the right track! Like Willy stated before, the thought of being with two women (or at least involved in some way) is the fantasy of most all straight men. Is your husband conservative? Have your "experiments" been on the more wild side so far? Usually one can tell (especially after having been together for 13 years) what things could turn on their significant other on.
At any rate, I would suggest working into this slowly (if you are truly worried about his reaction). Perhaps share some of your fantasies with him? Perhaps make suggestions while the two of you are making love? Or, if you're thinking he may like the idea, then just be blunt and tell him that you've been thinking about it too. Either way, good luck to you.
If you'd like someone to talk about this more, but do not wish to bring it back to the boards for some reason, please feel free to mail me. My mail is listed below.
~Lindsay
Aka Tiggs~
During your newfound passions between you and your husband, have either of you shared your fantasies? If so, then you're on the right track! Like Willy stated before, the thought of being with two women (or at least involved in some way) is the fantasy of most all straight men. Is your husband conservative? Have your "experiments" been on the more wild side so far? Usually one can tell (especially after having been together for 13 years) what things could turn on their significant other on.
At any rate, I would suggest working into this slowly (if you are truly worried about his reaction). Perhaps share some of your fantasies with him? Perhaps make suggestions while the two of you are making love? Or, if you're thinking he may like the idea, then just be blunt and tell him that you've been thinking about it too. Either way, good luck to you.
If you'd like someone to talk about this more, but do not wish to bring it back to the boards for some reason, please feel free to mail me.
My mail is listed below.~Lindsay
Aka Tiggs~
The leap from fantasy to reality does not always translate well. It should be something you both want very much and really think about. Bringing a third party into your marriage is not something to take lightly. For example are you ready if he wants to have sex with her? Emotions are funny things. While the idea sounds good the reality might make you very jealous or him angry too.
AusTess
methusela
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2001
- Posts
- 3,226
My husband must be abnormal then,if this is most mens fantasy.
I mentioned it,and while the IDEA sounded okay to him,the reality was gonna be somethin way different.
Or so he thought.
Anyway,I asked,we never did,and i still wonder what i missed.
Oh my god!
i just realised how pissed i am with him about that.*l*
Amazing what writing something down will do for ya huh?
I mentioned it,and while the IDEA sounded okay to him,the reality was gonna be somethin way different.
Or so he thought.
Anyway,I asked,we never did,and i still wonder what i missed.
Oh my god!
i just realised how pissed i am with him about that.*l*
Amazing what writing something down will do for ya huh?
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
You got good advice from those who cautioned that bringing a third into your bed can sometimes cause more problems later than the heat it generates in the doing. Most of us feel twinges of some kind or another when our partner is actually fucking someone else right there in front of us while we're supposed to be having fun just moaning and stroking. You know?
Anyway, maybe you could do some roleplay with him first? Talk about it in bed. Pretend there's someone else with you. Talk dirty to him about what the three of you are doing.
Perhaps when you're out at dinner or at a nightclub someplace, you could whisper together and talk about which of the women you see you'd both like to invite into your bed. Try to get a reading on the sort of woman you both want. Make it a shared adventure, one that will draw you closer.
When it's time to actually investigate the possibility with some real live people, there's a myriad of places to go for names. One good resource on the net is http://www.alt.com. No, you don't have to be into BDSM. Yes, there's plenty of people in there, couples like you, looking for the same thing you're interested in.
Be absolutely sure you get some kind of health screening for AIDS and other STD's from the person you two eventually choose. Most public health departments in most cities in the US will do those tests anonymously and for a nominal fee.
It can work to bring you two closer if you remember that your relationship comes first and the third is just and only that.
Have fun!
cym
Anyway, maybe you could do some roleplay with him first? Talk about it in bed. Pretend there's someone else with you. Talk dirty to him about what the three of you are doing.
Perhaps when you're out at dinner or at a nightclub someplace, you could whisper together and talk about which of the women you see you'd both like to invite into your bed. Try to get a reading on the sort of woman you both want. Make it a shared adventure, one that will draw you closer.
When it's time to actually investigate the possibility with some real live people, there's a myriad of places to go for names. One good resource on the net is http://www.alt.com. No, you don't have to be into BDSM. Yes, there's plenty of people in there, couples like you, looking for the same thing you're interested in.
Be absolutely sure you get some kind of health screening for AIDS and other STD's from the person you two eventually choose. Most public health departments in most cities in the US will do those tests anonymously and for a nominal fee.
It can work to bring you two closer if you remember that your relationship comes first and the third is just and only that.
Have fun!
cym
