Lookin' For A Fight? Read this about BDSM...

[DVS]

And, if you feel the urge, post your feelings on this or the "offending" thread. However, please don't just spew bullshit, because it only looks bad for the SS&C community we are.

We are intelligent and caring people. If we don't respond to some of our most vocal critics, they can say anything they wish. To them, we are considered evil, vicious, and dangerous to the vanillas of the world. If BDSM is to survive as an out of the closet option, it must be understood.

DO NOT feel you are obligated to post there. But, if you were wondering what "some people" think of BDSM, sit down and have a read.

Thanks!

www.lawrence.com/forum/community_forum/msg/85024550

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks DVS...skimmed it and you are right, it is a crock of shit that needs addressing. Hopefully my mind will co-operate at a more respectable hour to do just that.

Catalina

 

[Pure]

You might note that there are a number of replies, some pretty good, at the site

http://www.lawrence.com/forum/community_forum/msg/85024697

there is discussion of the 'gay'/bdsm analogy-- can the latter follow in the steps of the former.

J.

 

[s'lara]

Inflammatory and obviously meant to gain attention.

Not sure if i will bother replying. Thanks for the article DVS. Interesting stuff.

lara

 

[DVS]

I know Jericho from his shows. I can't say I know him personally, but we are members of the same local BDSM group. I have also seen a few of his group's shows. They are quite good and also very educational for those who are looking to explore BDSM.

The group has a web site, but it is frequently under repair, but I will try to see if there is an alternative with information. This fetish preforming group has gained quite a local following, which will always stir up opposing viewpoints.

One name mentioned is Fred Phelps. He is the self appointed gay basher of our area. He has also made national note when he backed an effort to erect a monument against Matthew Shepard in Wyoming. Check the link.
www.petitiononline.com/mrphelps/petition.html

Phelps is a sicko. Just google him to find out for yourselves.

I'm not gay, but I know many gays and lesbians. They are normal folk, just like the rest of us. We all have our kinks, and we should be allowed to do as we wish, without Phelps-ers getting in the way.

Like I said in the first post of this thread, this is not a rant to force anyone to join up. It is just a viewpoint I feel we should all be aware of, as members of this community and forum.

P.S.
If you do wish to respond on that thread, you must give an email address. You know the drill. Do so at your own risk. It's a scary world out there.

 

[DVS]

Jericho's group Contra Naturam has their own website. Their site is presently WORKING! Jericho said he apologizes for the frequent downtime.

www.contranaturam.net/

 

[hurtme]

oh man, I almost died...that was fucking hilarious...does that guy think he is for real? Does he really REALLY think he has any idea what he is talking about? And whats with the posers comment? If he isn't into the lifestyle, then why is he calling everyone else posers? I think that boy needs to be bent over and spanked until he learns his lesson...I would post there, but damn, nothing I say will matter to anyone with his head that far up his own ass...and I don't like to waste my time with hopeless, clueless losers...but thats for the article, it was a hoot, I will have to show it to my shrink...

 

[KestralWolfe]

Ya know, I almost signed up there, just so I could post, but, as hurtme said

but damn, nothing I say will matter to anyone with his head that far up his own ass...and I don't like to waste my time with hopeless, clueless losers

grrrrrrrrrrr this kind of thing hits all kinds of switches with me. On the whole I have to view it as funny, or I'll go through my life pissed off at these people, and never get what I need accomplished. This is one of the reasons I am glad for Lit. This is one of the very few places I can post in reply to questions or comments, and know that I will not be ridiculed for the things I believe, the things I love.....

I do hope, however, peple like that find their latent queer, sub, or pagan tendancies, and see the error of their ways...the harm their poison causes to those who are taking their tentative first steps toward any "deviant" lifestyle.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I think that the article does describe some people in the BDSM lifestyle...to assume otherwise is to put ourselves at risk. The question is: what percentage? Maybe 5-10% of us may in fact be nuttier than fruitbats, but that doesn't mean we all are. I think it is important to recognise that some people in the 'lifestyle' are mentally unbalanced, and deal with it head-on, rather than to pretend that all of us are healthy just because we all fall under the BDSM heading.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think that the article does describe some people in the BDSM lifestyle...to assume otherwise is to put ourselves at risk. The question is: what percentage? Maybe 5-10% of us may in fact be nuttier than fruitbats, but that doesn't mean we all are. I think it is important to recognise that some people in the 'lifestyle' are mentally unbalanced, and deal with it head-on, rather than to pretend that all of us are healthy just because we all fall under the BDSM heading.

True, but all things in perspective must be. I read a quote yesterday I now frustratingly can't find..and think it was a BDSM site too. It went along the lines 'evil can only be enabled if good men do nothing'. Think it is so true of much of society these days where so many accept thinking they have no choice, no power to change a thing.

Catalina

 

[english vicky]

Youch

They want to TREAT it??!?!

Treat what exactly...? I don't want to be treated, I'm not ill.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Youch

They want to TREAT it??!?!

Treat what exactly...? I don't want to be treated, I'm not ill.

Maybe we misunderstood and it is 'treat' as in give us presents and goodies for being so wonderful. LOL.

Catalina

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

True, but all things in perspective must be. I read a quote yesterday I now frustratingly can't find..and think it was a BDSM site too. It went along the lines 'evil can only be enabled if good men do nothing'. Think it is so true of much of society these days where so many accept thinking they have no choice, no power to change a thing.

Catalina

I think it is important for us to 'police our own', if you see what I mean? Instead of letting outsiders attack the weak points in our community, we should do it ourselves, first, and strengthen the 'lifestyle' as a whole.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Youch

They want to TREAT it??!?!

Treat what exactly...? I don't want to be treated, I'm not ill.

Well, you may not be, but some people who participate in BDSM are in need of some serious therapy.

 

[bridgeburner]

"Poopiehead"


I love it!!

I'm always amazed at people who think that BDsM is "sick". Their lack of self-awareness is mind-boggling.

I'd venture to say that all serious atheletes are masochistic to a degree. Competitive physical exertion is painful. Ask any ballerina or any long distance runner or weight lifter or football player. And yet, society at large doesn't think there's anything sick about these pursuits. It's by-god unAmerican to not like football.

Is it only because these people like their pain clothed? It lacks the overtly sexual elements that offend people?

Don't tell me Donald Trump doesn't have "control issues".

All of the little every day things that everyone accepts and never questions and yet, wrap it in leather and it's "sick".

Speaking of sadism, I think the self-righteous take a rather perverse pleasure in dishing it out to those they feel deserve it. That's sick in my book because they abuse people against their will.

Hmmm....Phelps with a bullwhip. I don't know whether to laugh or vomit.


-B (letting off steam)

 

[hurtme]

well, yes, there is no denying that some people who are into BDSM do need therepy, some people who are into nilla need therepy, some people who like to RPG need therepy, some people who play video games need therepy...of course a percentage of any catagory of people that you distinguish are going to be doing what they do for the wrong reasons, there are no perfect societies. However, it doesn't change the fact not ALL of us are unheathy, not all of us need help, and not all of us want to forever be labeled as sick because some people are seriously fucked up, and give all of us a bad rep...as far as the therepy thing...well you know, there are members of society who think being gay can be cured with a mixture of drugs and therepy, its the new millenium, everything out of the "normal" is a mental disorder, and it can all be cured with a nice combination of drugs, and shame...of course, some of us may like the shame part...

 

[english vicky]

Re: Youch

Aaah well in the case of nice treats i agree wholeheartedly...vicky likes treats!!!

i just get angry the way people can't approach new or different feelings and experiences than that of their own with a certain degree of openess.

i think life's about accepting people for who they are, not disliking them because of what they choose to do. i say that with certain exceptions, the ones we all have, such as child abuse etc. call me a hypocrite if you like...i accept that people do lots of things i don't do, but not that one.

i'm rambling.

vicky

 

[WriterDom]

http://fetishclub.com/exchange/psytod1.shtml

© Psychology Today - September/October 1999

 

[catalina_francisco]

Anyone who tries to debate the point from a fine upstanding vanilla viewpoint will have a good vanilla response from me and more facts and questions than they can keep up with.

Catalina http://www.smilies4you.de/content/liebe/b22.gif

 

[bridgeburner]

Plain vanilla is good but how can there be something wrong with adding cherries and crushed nuts, right?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Plain vanilla is good but how can there be something wrong with adding cherries and crushed nuts, right?

http://www.smilies4you.de/content/freundlich/b26.gif

 

[bunny bondage]

this is what i posted


hi there, i'm bunny bondage. i'm a participating member of the bdsm lifestyle. while i agree that the internet is funded by pornography, it is unfair and inaccurate to accuse all people providing information about bdsm of being interested in profit. i post regularly on literotica's bdsm board, and have contributded three stories to the site for which i will never see a penny nor even gain recognition.

as to your accusations concerning the mental stability and health of those active in bdsm, i find them to be unsound and, frankly, silly. associations are made all throughout childhood, pathways made in the psyce which will always remain. you seem to say that because some of the people were abused as children then this is conclusive evidence linking abuse and bdsm. sadly, a large number of children are abused, and some of them do end up repeating the pattern by involving themselves in abusive relationships throughout adult hood. these relationships take on many forms - the typical boy/girlfriend, a best friend, a paternal figure, and yes, even bdsm.

bdsm can be used to perpetuate bad habits formed in childhood, as can any relationship, but to say that all "kinky" couplings are the result of mental illness is uninformed.

thank you for your time

bunny

 

[ZenDragoness]

Johnny Mayberry

Instead of delving into the deep waters of normal, sick and so on,
I simply have to state, that i am exactly think and act like JM stated. This is a lesson learned in every political organisation or even political group of people. The current state in a lot of countries is, that people who label themself as BDSMlers are trying to gain acceptance in their societies, through groups or nationwide organisations. Due to this, we are writing about political acting.

Intern it is quite the same. I believe in Solidarity! Therefore we have to police,,,,better to care about each other, this include also to notice when people are troubled in a way that needs therapy.
People who take advantage, due to selfish reasons, are simply on the other side of the fence.

This is not a special german viewpoint, i know the people of domsub or leather and roses are thinking and acting in the same direction.

 

[DVS]

this is what i posted bunny

 

[DVS]

Re: Johnny Mayberry

...This is not a special german viewpoint, i know the people of domsub or leather and roses are thinking and acting in the same direction.

I know this isn't a special veiwpoint, as all members of BDSM should, and most do feel this way. If they don't, they aren't being SS&C, and the true caring individuals I usually meet in BDSM.

I think the difficult part for some vanillas to understand is the underlying care we take to make sure everyone involved is "OK" both mentally and physically. All they see is the domination and submission variables of one's personality and assume these are the only variables.

And, unfortunately, there are always going to be the extremists and wannabes out there who will use the BDSM ways for less than positive goals. It is also unfortunate that these types will usually get the press, making it more difficult to get the real BDSM to shine through.

Curing ourselves of these extremists and wannabes is not possible. All we can do is point them out for what they are so unsuspecting newbies will know to stay away from them. I know that isn't enough, but at least we aren't sitting back and doing nothing. Extremists and wannabes are always popping up. It's a never-ending task just to point them out.

Choosing our battles wisely is also a never-ending task. The link I posted was a small local publication, but in a rather well known college town. Many influential newbies in that crowd, I'm sure. The more they see of the true BDSM the better they understand and then make their own correct choices.

As for the radical vanilla crowd, which tends to always be at our throats...of course, if they would take the time and get to know a few of the BDSM players and lifestylers, what they "see" of BDSM would surely mellow a bit. But, there will always be people with their head so far up their ass that no amount of communication will ever change their narrowminded views. Fred Phelps comes to mind. A true member of the anal right.