Litsters In History.

[RobDownSouth]

No shit! Great story.

You've inspired ME to include some of this in my sigline, you pervy writer, you!

And you in turn inspired me to turn on siglines, just for this occasion.

Gotta say, it was worth the effort.....thanks for the smile!

 

[Morcheeba]

And you in turn inspired me to turn on siglines, just for this occasion.

Gotta say, it was worth the effort.....thanks for the smile!

Well, in the spirit of so much inspiration bouncing left and right, I hope you don't mind if I keep changing bits and pieces of my inspirational sigline.

 

[RobDownSouth]

All-star Lit Cast
Here on Litster's Island - 1965

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca
Skipper - Byron In Exile
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva
Ginger - BoobsNBrains
Mary Ann - Dolf
Professor - Ishmael

Guest star
Jungle King - Loving Tongue

(Script coming soon)

 

[isthisdesire]

All-star Lit Cast
Here on Litster's Island - 1965

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca
Skipper - Byron In Exile
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva
Ginger - BoobsNBrains
Mary Ann - Dolf
Professor - Ishmael

Guest star
Jungle King - Loving Tongue

(Script coming soon)

lol. this is too freaking perfect.
also, i wanna fuck mary ann/dolf.
dolf in pigtails & daisy dukes?
fuuuuuuck.

 

[blunt_trauma]

lol. this is too freaking perfect.
also, i wanna fuck mary ann/dolf.
dolf in pigtails & daisy dukes?
fuuuuuuck.

i've never worn daisy dukes.
but i think i should start.

 

[isthisdesire]

i've never worn daisy dukes.
but i think i should start.

dolf got another new name? grrr.

 

[blunt_trauma]

dolf got another new name? grrr.

just to confuse you.

endearing!

 

[isthisdesire]

just to confuse you.

endearing!

even when dolf is "endearing" all i can think about is that dancey video and i float off to a land of happiness and giggles.

 

[blunt_trauma]

even when dolf is "endearing" all i can think about is that dancey video and i float off to a land of happiness and giggles.

heh, you've gotta have fun.

 

[Pookie]

Hiya Pookie

Hiya!

 

[Pookie]

You're such a good girl.

It's only because I've yet to master suppressing all human emotion and compassion. I need to spend more time practicing.

 

[XXplorher]

It’s been done.

Classic LP version:

Rodrigo got fucked up the ass and left bleeding in the street, on account of me mistreating ‘bitches’ prior to that. I got no play at all, which is real clever except the Rodrigo thing painted lipstick fire red hypocrisy all over anyone who bothered to pay attention. Alas, even Deb failed objectivism… and that hurt, like a fuckin’ pirate whipping!

DCL fucked the hell out of Laurel with 9inches of unforgiving fury and I don’t think that went over all too well with Manu.

In the end, I guess people got what they wanted.

 

[XXplorher]

And there's always "Sybil"

You like me! You really like me!

That's not what she said. Nor how she said it.

At this point Sally Field has done enough to wash away what USED to be an oddly continual insult to her, from a time when the media didn't used to look for every incorrect sylabble (How do you spewl sylabble? Seriously, I don't know how.)

At this point she took off her nuns habit long enough to get out of Burt Reynolds bitchin car, held up a sign demanding equality for women in the workforce, and mothered Forrest Gump.

I'm pretty sure I like her.

And I'm not at all confused by what she meant 20+ years ago. As a matter of fact, I would prefer that the Oscars lasted as long as it takes for every single one of those people to get up there and tell me exactly how they truly feel.

If I just wanna know the winners? I can pick up a fucking paper the next day. I'm not watching her for a new statistic. I'm watching it so I can see people like Sally Field get up there and be truly THRILLED!!!!!!

What. Everyone is supposed to be totally cool and reserved? You want your art with less enthusiasm and irresistable drama?

 

[great lover]

just to confuse you.

endearing!

You're the skank previously known as dolf

 

[XXplorher]

DCL at The Dawn of Time

DCL: God?

GOD: Yeah?

DCL: I was just going over this work order you want filled...

GOD: Yeah?

DCL: On the first day you want me to create light, right?

GOD: Right.

DCL: But you don't want the sun created until the fourth day? Is that right?

GOD: Right.

DCL: You don't see the problem here?

GOD: You've been on my ass since Day One.

DCL: That's today.

GOD: Whatever.

DCL: Look, I just don't have faith in this project anymore, or your ability to run it.

GOD: You saying you don't believe in me?

DCL: That's exactly what I'm saying.

GOD: You have a better plan?

DCL: Yes, actually. It involves the explosion of a singularity of infinite density and...

GOD: Fine, fine, whatever. But I get credit.

DCL: For the first 14 billion years. After that I'm calling a press conference...

GOD: What's a "year"?

DCL: Jesus!

GOD: Who?

DCL: Nothing...

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

All of that was brilliant until you went to the press conference thing. That would be the difference between Sally Field... and a self-absorbed bitch. Why ya gotta be such a self-absorbed bitch, DCL?

 

[XXplorher]

Dixon Carter Lee: Hollywood California, 1925

"Tell me again...whath my motivation in thith thene?" lisped the dimunitive actor.
"Well Dixon" the director began" "DON'T CALL ME DIXTHON...I want to be known as Lon now. Lon Chaney. It hath thutch a mathculine thound, doethent it?" said Dixon.
"Whatever you want, pal" said the exasperated director, glaring. "This is your big scene here. You are playing the organ"...Dixon tittered at this..."and then Mary Philbin will come up behind you and remove your mask, showing the hideous face of the Phantom of the Opera. Say, you want to show us your makeup job beneath the mask before the cameras roll?"
"Thertainly NOT!" thaid...err, said Dixon. "Thith ith my own very special makeup...I don't want to ruin the thurprith!"
"This guy will be toatht...TOAST dammit...when talkies come around" thought the incensed director. To the assembled cast, he said "Awright, places everyone. Camera! Marker! Speed! Organ scene, take one...ACTION!"
Dixon snickered underneath his mask.
"CUT!" yelled the director. "'Lon'! What the hell is so funny, dammit?"
"Jutht the way you thaid "organ"...I don't thee any organ!" said a red-faced Dixon.
"Awright, Awright...cut the comedy....Places again....Camera! Marker! Speed! Take two...ACTION"
Dixon played the silent organ with aplomb, swaying to a non-existant music that only he could hear.
The director nodded his head, and studio ingenue Mary Philbin, on cue, stepped behind Dixon. With an effortless tug, she pulled the mask off the Phantom.
"Ye GODS, he's hideous!" exclaimed the cameraman, involuntarily. The director glared and made a hushing sound, but nodded his head in agreement...for all his prima donna tendencies, Dixon sure as hell knew his craft. He glanced over at the assistant director, who had turned completely white after looking at Dixon's scarred and misshapen face. That makeup is perfect...just perfect.
The director finally yelled "Cut! PRINT! 'Lon'....that was MAGNIFICENT!" The entire crew spontaneously applauded the tempermental actor.
Beaming, Dixon stood up with a grand theatrical flourish........and crashed the back of his head into the massive chandalier prop directly overhead. He crumpled in a heap, knocked completely unconscious. Pandemonium ensued as people rushed on the set. "Give him air!" the director bellowed. "Get a doctor in here now!" He turned to the assistant director... "get that makeup off him..give him room to breath!". The assistant director propped up Dixon's head and attempted to remove the garish prostheses. With a look of horror, he turned to the director. "Dear God" he stammered, "it's not makeup! it's...it's...his actual face!!!"

Dude.... I really wanna read that. But if you cant bother to space a paragraph? Then you can't hold Dixon's jock after he fucked Patty with it plenty. Show some effort in clarity, man.

 

[XXplorher]

What about John Smith and Pocahontas?

Yeah! WTF?

 

[XXplorher]

….burp, oops, huh?! What? Huh? Grumble… what?! Huh? Yeah… Norma Raye… yeah, big proud titties… huh? Yeah… hrh… hrh, hrh, hrh

No, I don’t think they bought it. I think I started okay but then I receded right back into being a total dick again. I think I’m pretty much fucked, I don’t understand these people... Why do you keep making me do this?

“I’m not, you fucking idiot. You choose to do it.”

 

[RobDownSouth]

All-star Lit Cast
Here on Litster's Island - 1965

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca
Skipper - Byron In Exile
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva
Ginger - BoobsNBrains
Mary Ann - Dolf
Professor - Ishmael

Guest star
Jungle King - Loving Tongue

Exterior shot: An island beach, daytime. The crew and passengers of the badly damaged SS Litflea lie dazed and scattered around the boat...

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Skipper! We made it! We made it through the storm!
Skipper - Byron In Exile: (Irately) No thanks to you, Gilligan...why did you disappear when I sent you below to start up the bilge pumps?
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Oh, well you see, I got sidetracked, I saw all the draincocks down there and got distracted..
Skipper - Byron In Exile: (incredulously) You didn't turn on the bilge pumps? You opened the draincocks? You idiot! We almost drowned!
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: (whining) but...but...skipper! You always said I could play with all the cocks I wanted to as long as you didn't have to watch me actually playing with them and... (Gilligan scrambles to avoid being hit by the Skipper's hat)

Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: well, this is a perfectly dreadful situation. Come, Lovey, let's go find a free wifi internet connection. I've got my laptop.
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: Don't forget your charger!
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: (slyly) I'll give YOU a charge! (Mrs. Howell - Recidiva reddens) (They depart for the treeline)
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: (confused) Skipper, what's a wifey?

Mary Ann - Dolf: I'm jes a bloody fahm girl from Kansas, y'know.
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: I meant to ask you about that...if you're from Kansas, why do you have a British accent?
Mary Ann - Dolf: Oh me Mum met me Dad in London during the war...
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Oh, I see, your mother is from England!
Mary Ann - Dolf: Nah, she was from Kansas too, just like me Dad. They both liked the way the Brits talked so they raised me to speak like this!
Ginger - BoobsNBrains (blinks and is speechless)

(Mr. and Mrs. Howell return suddenly, wild-eyed and running)
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: Good Heavens, there's a gorilla further up the beach!
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: A huge gorilla!
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Well thank God...SOMETHING on this god-foresaken beach has a penis larger than two inches! (glares at both Gilligan and the Professor)
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: (clears throat) well, actually m'dear, my own penis is...
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: (interrupting)...your own penis is quite spoken for! Now come along! (Mr. Howell follows meekly)

Professor - Ishmael: Wait Mr. and Mrs. Howell! Was the gorilla white or black?
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: Why, black! Why do you ask, professor?
Professor - Ishmael: Because I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how white gorillas are superior to black gorillas.
(everyone rolls their eyes)
Skipper - Byron In Exile: Oh come on, professor, that's ridiculous!
Professor - Ishmael: Now then, did you see any signs of intelligence in its eyes? Because I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how black gorillas are often lacking in intelligence....
(everyone rolls their eyes)
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: I didn't see any intelligence in its eyes....I didn't see any LIFE in its eyes...the poor beast was dead.
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Even better! No awkward goodbyes!
Professor - Ishmael: Ah well, that changes things. Hmm, I suppose we could grill some gorilla steaks, but I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how dark gorilla meat is vastly inferior to white gorilla meat...
(everyone rolls their eyes)

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Skipper, can I eat the penis? Please?
(End Act I)

 

[Recidiva]

/worship

I'd say more...but...too...busy giggling...

 

[XXplorher]

That's pretty cool, only it didn't actually say anything.

I have a few complaints on character:

There’s no fucking way that Dolf is Mary Anne with a shitty accent. What happened, people don’t dig her anymore? What the fuck, man? Destroy all the interesting ones? If she's Mary-Anne then you afford her some chewable lines.(The only way that Dolf is Mary-Anne is if JustPet is Ginger. That I can live with.)

BTW, I don’t know Dolf. I’ve seen her pussy once with her hand on it and a heart cut – same as everyone else. Don’t take her out in the road and dog rape her. She's not my friend.

 

[Byron In Exile]

/worship

I'd say more...but...too...busy giggling...

Was that grand, or what?

I would have liked to have slapped AJ around with my cap a bit more...

 

[Byron In Exile]

That's pretty cool, only it didn't actually say anything.

You sort of have to know the people involved.

That's what shows it to be inventive and entertaining.

 

[great lover]

RDS,
That was very good.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Was that grand, or what?

I would have liked to have slapped AJ around with my cap a bit more...

I think we all would have liked to have seen a bit more of that. Had to get everyone "screen time" though.

(I actually DID consider a running gag where you whack AJ everytime he says something stupid....ah well, there's always Act II).