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Litsters In History.

These old threads are great because we get to see names that are long gone. I had forgotten about ppman. I did not get along with him at all on here but when he died I was sorta sad.
Redwave I didn't feel so sorry cuz he was batshit crazy and an asshole both but at least he backed up his bullshit in real life. After his death there were accounts of him demonstrating against the capitalist pigs and all that. Good on him. I guess.
 
Litsters who are History in History:

Scene: Continental Congress. The signing of the Declaration of Independence. The Founding Fathers crowd about the historic table to sign the parchment that sets their lives, and the lives of a nation on course.

Thomas Jefferson: So to begin, I believe that we should start…We The People…

Hester: Does that “we” involve women in any way? Or is this just rich white guys talking?

Thomas Jefferson: …uh.

Blobfish: What do you guys think of this picture of me? Am I hot?

Benjamin Franklin: *peeks* Well…kinda…how did you paint that?

Tortoise: This is a really historical moment. I can’t wait to write about it in verse. Do you think parchment will somehow work with a flesh light in iambic pentameter?

Drown:
I
Have
No idea
How I got here…

EternalWinter: I built a time machine. I rock like that. You should scrape that…stuff off your shoes though, you don’t need to know about that. That’s…let’s just call it a side effect.

Pookie: Jefferson. If you could just scoot over a bit there I’ll just…let me see that. No, I have a pen. Scoot. Yes. You.

Breakwall: I’m fucking Canadian you know. What the hell am I doing here?
 
Recidiva said:
Litsters who are History in History:
Click to expand...
Love!

Tortoise would totally rock the ruffled shirts and short pants of the day.

Can Hester secretly discipline the Founding Fathers behind the scenes? Ben Franklin would be her most eager client.
 
I miss that headless canuck.

Don't tell him I said that.

Fucker.
 
Mischka said:
Love!

Tortoise would totally rock the ruffled shirts and short pants of the day.

Can Hester secretly discipline the Founding Fathers behind the scenes? Ben Franklin would be her most eager client.
Click to expand...

I can see her now. "How many slaves are worth one white man? HUH? HOW MANY?"
 
Recidiva said:
Litsters who are History in History:

Scene: Continental Congress. The signing of the Declaration of Independence. The Founding Fathers crowd about the historic table to sign the parchment that sets their lives, and the lives of a nation on course.

Thomas Jefferson: So to begin, I believe that we should start…We The People…

Hester: Does that “we” involve women in any way? Or is this just rich white guys talking?

Thomas Jefferson: …uh.

Blobfish: What do you guys think of this picture of me? Am I hot?

Benjamin Franklin: *peeks* Well…kinda…how did you paint that?

Tortoise: This is a really historical moment. I can’t wait to write about it in verse. Do you think parchment will somehow work with a flesh light in iambic pentameter?

Drown:
I
Have
No idea
How I got here…

EternalWinter: I built a time machine. I rock like that. You should scrape that…stuff off your shoes though, you don’t need to know about that. That’s…let’s just call it a side effect.

Pookie: Jefferson. If you could just scoot over a bit there I’ll just…let me see that. No, I have a pen. Scoot. Yes. You.

Breakwall: I’m fucking Canadian you know. What the hell am I doing here?
Click to expand...

this needs continuing!
 
butters said:
this needs continuing!
Click to expand...

Litsters in Great Plays

We now present "Waiting for Glamorilla"

RudeNastyAssBitch: I’m glad to see you back. I thought you were gone forever.

Avery_Chisholm: :avery:

RudeNastyAssBitch: Together again at last! We’ll have to celebrate this. But how? Get up till I embrace you.

busybody: lesboroonies!

Leverage: Takes :One: to know :One:

Loving_Tongue: Why are you sitting in the middle of fucking nowhere? You’re destroying society with your Y chromosomes and your waiting! I will curb stomp each and every one of you motherfuckers!

RudeNastyAssBitch: THERE IS NO CURB.

Avery_Chisholm: :avery:

Leverage: Why does she keep doing that? Do you think it’s caused by racially motivated stereotypes?

RudeNastyAssBitch: AND YOU’RE WEARING SANDALS.
 
Last edited:
Pop HeavyStick's parody of the Holy Grail while your at it.

Ishmael
 
Colonel Hogan Finds the Power of Prayer

‘Take a look, Chaplain,’ Colonel Hogan directed, screwing a cigarette into his holder and seating himself affluently in the swivel chair behind his desk. ‘Let me know what you think.’ The chaplain looked down at the open magazine compliantly and saw an editorial spread dealing with an American bomber group in England whose chaplain said prayers in the briefing room before each mission.

The chaplain glued his eyes to the pages of the magazine. He studied each photograph twice and read the captions intently as he organized his response to the colonel’s question into a grammatically complete sentence that he rehearsed and reorganized in his mind a considerable number of times before he was able finally to muster the courage to reply.

‘I think that saying prayers before each mission is a very moral and highly laudatory procedure, sir,’ he offered timidly, and waited.

‘Yeah,’ said the colonel. ‘But I want to know if you think they’ll work here.’

‘Yes, sir,’ answered the chaplain after a few moments. ‘I should think they would.’

‘Then I’d like to give it a try.’ The colonel’s ponderous, farinaceous cheeks were tinted suddenly with glowing patches of enthusiasm. He rose to his feet and began walking around excitedly. ‘Look how much good they’ve done for these people in England. Here’s a picture of a colonel in The Saturday Evening Post whose chaplain conducts prayers before each mission. If the prayers work for him, they should work for us. Maybe if we say prayers, they’ll put my picture in The Saturday Evening Post.’ The colonel sat down again and smiled distantly in lavish contemplation. The chaplain had no hint of what he was expected to say next.

‘Now, I want you to give a lot of thought to the kind of prayers we’re going to say. I don’t want anything heavy or sad. I’d like you to keep it light and snappy, something that will send the boys out feeling pretty good. Do you know what I mean? I don’t want any of this Kingdom of God or Valley of Death stuff. That’s all too negative. What are you making such a sour face for?’

‘I’m sorry, sir,’ the chaplain stammered. ‘I happened to be thinking of the Twenty-third Psalm just as you said that.’

‘How does that one go?’

‘That’s the one you were just referring to, sir. “The Lord is my shepherd; I —” ‘

‘That’s the one I was just referring to. It’s out. What else have you got?’

‘ “Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto...;”

‘No waters,’ the colonel decided, blowing ruggedly into his cigarette holder after flipping the butt down into his combed-brass ash tray. ‘Why don’t we try something musical? How about the harps on the willows?’

‘That has the rivers of Babylon in it, sir,’ the chaplain replied. ‘ “…there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.” ‘

‘ Zion? Let’s forget about that one right now. I’d like to know how that one even got in there. Haven’t you got anything humorous that stays away from waters and valleys and God? I’d like to keep away from the subject of religion altogether if we can.’

The chaplain was apologetic. ‘I’m sorry, sir, but just about all the prayers I know are rather somber in tone and make at least some passing reference to God.’

‘Then let’s get some new ones. The men are already doing enough bitching about the missions I send them on without our rubbing it in with any sermons about God or death or Paradise. Why can’t we take a more positive approach? Why can’t we all pray for something good, like a tighter bomb pattern, for example? Couldn’t we pray for a tighter bomb pattern?’

‘Well, yes, sir, I suppose so,’ the chaplain answered hesitantly. ‘You wouldn’t even need me if that’s all you wanted to do. You could do that yourself.’

‘I know I could,’ the colonel responded tartly. ‘But what do you think you’re here for? I could shop for my own food, too, but that’s Milo’s job, and that’s why he’s doing it for every group in the area. Your job is to lead us in prayer, and from now on you’re going to lead us in a prayer for a tighter bomb pattern before every mission. Is that clear? I think a tighter bomb pattern is something really worth praying for. It will be a feather in all our caps with General Peckem. General Peckem feels it makes a much nicer aerial photograph when the bombs explode close together.’
 
My history at Lit will probably be outing KRC. i hope though, that I I am also remembered for my kindness.
 
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