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Byron In Exile said:
You sort of have to know the people involved.

That's what shows it to be inventive and entertaining.
Click to expand...

Oh... really? Is that the point? See, I guess I didn't understand that at all, eh.

Christ, doesn't anyone actually read posts before they comment anymore?

JACKASS: Obama, how come you didn't do what we're used to and make some bullshit statement the minute this news hit your desk? It's important to continually expand upon the mountain of crap we're growing...

OBAMA: Cuz I like to think before I speak.
(nod's to Jackass)

SERVED!!


Note: I'm not saying I'm Obama. I'm most definitely not. I'm just a guy learning and appreciating. (I'm pretty much Randy Marsh from South Park.)
 
Last edited:
XXplorher said:
That's pretty cool, only it didn't actually say anything.

I have a few complaints on character:

There’s no fucking way that Dolf is Mary Anne with a shitty accent. What happened, people don’t dig her anymore? What the fuck, man? Destroy all the interesting ones? If she's Mary-Anne then you afford her some chewable lines.(The only way that Dolf is Mary-Anne is if JustPet is Ginger. That I can live with.)

BTW, I don’t know Dolf. I’ve seen her pussy once with her hand on it and a heart cut – same as everyone else. Don’t take her out in the road and dog rape her. She's not my friend.
Click to expand...

Comedy ain't easy.
I had the bit about "Maryanne with a British accent" rolling around in my head, and had to come up with someone on here who was readily identified as an Englishwoman. Dolf was the first person to come to mind, so I used her. The "inside joke" here is for the 20 or so guys who've had phone sex with her: she actually has a very cultured and refined voice, unlike how she's been portrayed above. ;)
 
I'm just giving you a hard time, mate. (Everyone else seems to like it, so go with it.)


Dolf had phone sex w/20dudes?! Thata girl!! She's English how? Is she going to want to spank me? Or do I get to take her glasses off and make her very uncomfortable?

My argument would be: Let's not encourage that kind of bravery to shelter itself. Wrong MaryAnn, dude. Pick a girl we're all desperate for who might quietly be the sexiest thing on the planet. Encourage her to test what's underneath.

Yes?
 
wow - I'd have never seen this:

Originally Posted by Dixon Carter Lee View Post
DCL at The Dawn of Time

DCL: God?

GOD: Yeah?

DCL: I was just going over this work order you want filled...

GOD: Yeah?

DCL: On the first day you want me to create light, right?

GOD: Right.

DCL: But you don't want the sun created until the fourth day? Is that right?

GOD: Right.

DCL: You don't see the problem here?

GOD: You've been on my ass since Day One.

DCL: That's today.

GOD: Whatever.

DCL: Look, I just don't have faith in this project anymore, or your ability to run it.

GOD: You saying you don't believe in me?

DCL: That's exactly what I'm saying.

GOD: You have a better plan?

DCL: Yes, actually. It involves the explosion of a singularity of infinite density and...

GOD: Fine, fine, whatever. But I get credit.

DCL: For the first 14 billion years. After that I'm calling a press conference...

GOD: What's a "year"?

DCL: Jesus!

GOD: Who?

DCL: Nothing...
Click to expand...

smileworthy with a capital S
 
RobDownSouth said:
  1. JackAssJim: Roswell New Mexico 1947
  2. Islandman: Stratford-on-Avon 1583
  3. Acitore_vuli: Clarksdale, Mississippi 1923
  4. Dixon Carter Lee: Hollywood California, 1925
  5. PinkOrchid: Woodstock New York 1969
  6. Morcheeba: PT Barnum's Greatest Show On Earth Circus, 1871
  7. La Principessa: Frank Sinatra's Singing Debut 1938
  8. Busybody: Alabama Air National Guard 1972
  9. Scott X: Ancient Greece 800 B.C.
  10. PP_Man: Queen Elizabeth's Boudoir 1948
  11. Unclebill: Philadelphia Pennsylvania July 2, 1776
  12. BlueDaisy and Jenny Oman Hill: The Summer of Love, 1967
  13. Ladybird: Niagara Falls, New York November 8, 1965
  14. SilvaTungDevil: Atlanta Georgia, 1938
  15. Peachykeen: Memphis, Tennessee 1955
  16. Miles: Oswiecim, Poland 1943
  17. BlueEyesInLevis, DevilishTexan, Gil_Favor, and Pookie: Rakata Island, Indonesia, August 26, 1883.
  18. Gringao: Virginia Colony - 1752
  19. Deja Nu: Rome, Italy February 13, 635

9, 10, 12 and 17 are my personal favorites.
Click to expand...


Annual quote.
 
breakwall said:
I was going to make them Cheyenne Indians, but ... it got too confusing so, it's Pawnee instead. Besides, Pawnee have cooler haircuts.

Cheyenne, Pawnee Village, Kansas Territory, 1780

Quietly the warriors gathered outside the tent. Cheyenne, the Storyteller sat within, the simple fire cast a huge, dancing silhouette on the stretched hide walls of her tipi. She sang softly as the wood crackled and popped, sending tiny stars of flame up on the thin smoke.

Finally, she stretched her hands upwards and arose.

She drew back the flap of her tipi and the warriors came inside. They were Pawnee Indians, a raiding tribe, and they were going over the hills before the dawn to make war on a group of Arapaho that had come near
their village. The Pawnee were not as nomadic as the other tribes and this gave them a stable base to launch raids against tribes that wandered near.

Cheyenne sat at the head of the circle, as she always did before the warriors went out. It was time to tell the stories. Cheyenne knew more stories than anyone, her memory was long and sharp. A warrior would
ask..."Tell me of the battle against Osage, when Red Bird slew the twenty braves." and Cheyenne would pause for a second, gather her thoughts and tell the story as if it had happened yesterday.

And tonight would be no different. She told stories of courage and valour, of great deeds done by great men. And long into the night did the warriors listen. Finally, they arose, each warrior, emboldened by
the spirits of their forefathers, and off they went into the gathering dawn, to create new stories for Cheyenne to tell.

Meanwhile, Cheyenne went down to the river to wash. There she met Ashnaya and Tatani, women from the village.
"Did you hear about Kishanka?" asked Tatani, "Her husband is mad because Kishanka's sister has to move in with them."
"Oh?" Cheyenne asked, "Is this the same sister who was caught a couple of years ago cheating around with that buffalo skinner from the river village?"
"I don't remember," said Tatani, "I think her name is Oba-something..."
"Obashan," said Cheyenne, "that's the one. Remember? She was caught when she came home and her husband found a skinning stone in her pouch. Apparently the river guy had snuck it in on purpose."
"Ooh, I forgot about that."
"How could you forget?" asked Cheyenne, "That was around the same time that Kishanka and her husband were going through all those problems because of her peyote addiction...here I'll post a link..."
"You'll what a what?" asked Ashnaya.

"I said...I'll....um...I have no idea..." said Cheyenne, her brow knitted in confusion.
Click to expand...

Just reread this and still love it. Breakwall come back!
 
RobDownSouth said:
All-star Lit Cast
Here on Litster's Island - 1965

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca
Skipper - Byron In Exile
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva
Ginger - BoobsNBrains
Mary Ann - Dolf
Professor - Ishmael

Guest star
Jungle King - Loving Tongue

Exterior shot: An island beach, daytime. The crew and passengers of the badly damaged SS Litflea lie dazed and scattered around the boat...

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Skipper! We made it! We made it through the storm!
Skipper - Byron In Exile: (Irately) No thanks to you, Gilligan...why did you disappear when I sent you below to start up the bilge pumps?
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Oh, well you see, I got sidetracked, I saw all the draincocks down there and got distracted..
Skipper - Byron In Exile: (incredulously) You didn't turn on the bilge pumps? You opened the draincocks? You idiot! We almost drowned!
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: (whining) but...but...skipper! You always said I could play with all the cocks I wanted to as long as you didn't have to watch me actually playing with them and... (Gilligan scrambles to avoid being hit by the Skipper's hat)

Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: well, this is a perfectly dreadful situation. Come, Lovey, let's go find a free wifi internet connection. I've got my laptop.
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: Don't forget your charger!
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: (slyly) I'll give YOU a charge! (Mrs. Howell - Recidiva reddens) (They depart for the treeline)
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: (confused) Skipper, what's a wifey?

Mary Ann - Dolf: I'm jes a bloody fahm girl from Kansas, y'know.
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: I meant to ask you about that...if you're from Kansas, why do you have a British accent?
Mary Ann - Dolf: Oh me Mum met me Dad in London during the war...
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Oh, I see, your mother is from England!
Mary Ann - Dolf: Nah, she was from Kansas too, just like me Dad. They both liked the way the Brits talked so they raised me to speak like this!
Ginger - BoobsNBrains (blinks and is speechless)

(Mr. and Mrs. Howell return suddenly, wild-eyed and running)
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: Good Heavens, there's a gorilla further up the beach!
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: A huge gorilla!
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Well thank God...SOMETHING on this god-foresaken beach has a penis larger than two inches! (glares at both Gilligan and the Professor)
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: (clears throat) well, actually m'dear, my own penis is...
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: (interrupting)...your own penis is quite spoken for! Now come along! (Mr. Howell follows meekly)

Professor - Ishmael: Wait Mr. and Mrs. Howell! Was the gorilla white or black?
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: Why, black! Why do you ask, professor?
Professor - Ishmael: Because I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how white gorillas are superior to black gorillas.
(everyone rolls their eyes)
Skipper - Byron In Exile: Oh come on, professor, that's ridiculous!
Professor - Ishmael: Now then, did you see any signs of intelligence in its eyes? Because I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how black gorillas are often lacking in intelligence....
(everyone rolls their eyes)
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: I didn't see any intelligence in its eyes....I didn't see any LIFE in its eyes...the poor beast was dead.
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Even better! No awkward goodbyes!
Professor - Ishmael: Ah well, that changes things. Hmm, I suppose we could grill some gorilla steaks, but I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how dark gorilla meat is vastly inferior to white gorilla meat...
(everyone rolls their eyes)

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Skipper, can I eat the penis? Please?
(End Act I)
Click to expand...

ok, not had time to read the thread yet but went back a couple of pages and found this. well funny :D thanks to whoever bumped it.
 
Hmm ...The rare thread bump that is not a complete waste of time. I stand amazed. Is it just me or was BB much more articulate back in 2004?
 
VaticanAssassin said:
Hmm ...The rare thread bump that is not a complete waste of time. I stand amazed. Is it just me or was BB much more articulate back in 2004?
Click to expand...

Not sure if you're trying to be humorous here or not, but Busybody had a cereberal aneurism in late 2008.
...right after a black president was elected.
 
Annual Bump

RobDownSouth said:
All-star Lit Cast
Here on Litster's Island - 1965

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca
Skipper - Byron In Exile
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva
Ginger - BoobsNBrains
Mary Ann - Dolf
Professor - Ishmael

Guest star
Jungle King - Loving Tongue

Exterior shot: An island beach, daytime. The crew and passengers of the badly damaged SS Litflea lie dazed and scattered around the boat...

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Skipper! We made it! We made it through the storm!
Skipper - Byron In Exile: (Irately) No thanks to you, Gilligan...why did you disappear when I sent you below to start up the bilge pumps?
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Oh, well you see, I got sidetracked, I saw all the draincocks down there and got distracted..
Skipper - Byron In Exile: (incredulously) You didn't turn on the bilge pumps? You opened the draincocks? You idiot! We almost drowned!
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: (whining) but...but...skipper! You always said I could play with all the cocks I wanted to as long as you didn't have to watch me actually playing with them and... (Gilligan scrambles to avoid being hit by the Skipper's hat)

Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: well, this is a perfectly dreadful situation. Come, Lovey, let's go find a free wifi internet connection. I've got my laptop.
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: Don't forget your charger!
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: (slyly) I'll give YOU a charge! (Mrs. Howell - Recidiva reddens) (They depart for the treeline)
Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: (confused) Skipper, what's a wifey?

Mary Ann - Dolf: I'm jes a bloody fahm girl from Kansas, y'know.
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: I meant to ask you about that...if you're from Kansas, why do you have a British accent?
Mary Ann - Dolf: Oh me Mum met me Dad in London during the war...
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Oh, I see, your mother is from England!
Mary Ann - Dolf: Nah, she was from Kansas too, just like me Dad. They both liked the way the Brits talked so they raised me to speak like this!
Ginger - BoobsNBrains (blinks and is speechless)

(Mr. and Mrs. Howell return suddenly, wild-eyed and running)
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: Good Heavens, there's a gorilla further up the beach!
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: A huge gorilla!
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Well thank God...SOMETHING on this god-foresaken beach has a penis larger than two inches! (glares at both Gilligan and the Professor)
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: (clears throat) well, actually m'dear, my own penis is...
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: (interrupting)...your own penis is quite spoken for! Now come along! (Mr. Howell follows meekly)

Professor - Ishmael: Wait Mr. and Mrs. Howell! Was the gorilla white or black?
Mr. Howell - Ulaven Demorte: Why, black! Why do you ask, professor?
Professor - Ishmael: Because I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how white gorillas are superior to black gorillas.
(everyone rolls their eyes)
Skipper - Byron In Exile: Oh come on, professor, that's ridiculous!
Professor - Ishmael: Now then, did you see any signs of intelligence in its eyes? Because I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how black gorillas are often lacking in intelligence....
(everyone rolls their eyes)
Mrs. Howell - Recidiva: I didn't see any intelligence in its eyes....I didn't see any LIFE in its eyes...the poor beast was dead.
Ginger - BoobsNBrains: Even better! No awkward goodbyes!
Professor - Ishmael: Ah well, that changes things. Hmm, I suppose we could grill some gorilla steaks, but I have documented, peer-reviewed research showing how dark gorilla meat is vastly inferior to white gorilla meat...
(everyone rolls their eyes)

Gilligan - Cap'n AMatrixca: Skipper, can I eat the penis? Please?
(End Act I)
Click to expand...

Bumping for Recidivia. Man, I used to be funny back in the day!
 
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