Litiquette3

[Lord Pmann]

I think we all know where Papa Chained's mind is today. *chuckle*

I won't lie, this post made for a happy Christmas.

 

[multitalentman]

How well do you really know anyone?

How many times has someone you thought you knew surprised you?

People reveal what they choose to reveal and there are reasons why they do so. At the risk of sounding preachy, it's not about you, it's about them although it affects you. You can't really put a percentage on what you *know* about someone online. More often, it is easier to drop those walls and be honest about your feelings, your thoughts to someone who you're not going to have to face tomorrow. Someone whose opinion of you isn't going to cloud how they treat you the next day. On the other hand, the connection, the attachment builds and the confusion becomes quite the conundrum as to where online ends and real begins.

You bring with you who you are. At least for me, that's how it's always been. Anything less is a waste of time, effort and energy.

Exactly! You put it in perfect perspective there.

 

[DesEsseintes]

I think to some extent I bring my 'real world' mental security checks on Lit too. Subconsciously and without remotely criticising those who for a host of reasons feel uncomfortable posting face pics, someone's face reassures me a little. Someone who PMs me their real name adds more certainty still - an email address more so, in very limited cases a real address even more, and so on.

I'm not sure this is an appropriate way of ascertaining trust in a very different social environment. But it is pretty much the way we operate in the 'real world', and I'm not sure we have yet evolved better ways of doing the same thing online.

(Just realized that the first paragraph could read like a thinly-veiled plea for personal information: PLEASE know it isn't meant to be that!)

 

[multitalentman]

As it should be, perhaps.

Women are something to be grateful for in this sense. It comes to us much easier. If you ask me, just the fact that you are aware of the deeper meaning of vulnerability makes you very much a man, even if you never get any further than that. Maybe you struggle with it because men just weren't made that way. Who knows?

Thank you again for your kind words.

I struggle with being known emotionally. I have fairly thick skin emotionally when people are at a distance. But regarding letting people, past the armor, trusting them with intimate knowledge, that is my biggest struggle.


And, thank you for your kind words.

The fear of vulnerability in men is the reason for much of the woes of the world: Putin must have swallowed a whole bucket of vulnerable as much as any homophobic playground bully. I feel sorry for men that are forced to wear an emotional straight-jacket from an age when their own fathers told them to 'shape up, show 'em who's boss, big boys don't cry... blah blah" and to be fair, mothers do it too.
Of course there is a flip side to the touchie-feelie philosophy, because sadly we need men to go fight wars or hunt down terrorists, because the other side is filling their boys head's with the same bullshit.
It'll never end, will it? It's like that line in Terminator


Agreed. And Its not just fear of the public perception. I would take public humiliation over private any day. The kind of pain that only an intimate person can deliver.

Men should be vulnerable. I tell my boys to suck it up, but if I had girls, they'd hear the same thing.

Agreed. Men can be, I know many that are. They are usually quite stable emotionally as a rule too. But many of us are stubborn *surprise right?*
To admit that we were wrong and embrace vulnerability, well, That's a lot to take sometimes, especially if we were raised to be strong and fearless. When you don't have a good understanding of what strong and fearless are, you tend to go with what you learn from those you choose as role models.

wow! where did that come from?

 

[ChainedUp]

Happy Monday! Is hustle & bustle in full swing? Are you trying to be nice or is naughty simoly prove to be too much to control? Has the ghost of Christmas Past come to visit you yet? Has your grandma got run over by a reindeer? 'This all a way to ask how much the holiday season impacts you. Good or bad, happy or sad. Do the expectations of the season put extra demands on you?

 

[Euphonic]

How would these answers better your life?
You really think people have time to answer all your questions?
Sheesh
Go help out at a soup kitchen.
You only know a person if you focus on them exclusively.
You have the attention span of a gnat.
So of course you know little about anyone.

 

[ChainedUp]

A little Christmas vitriol never hurt anyone. "The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so...don't come in here and piss all over the thread....deliteful"

 

[multitalentman]

Happy Monday! Is hustle & bustle in full swing? Are you trying to be nice or is naughty simoly prove to be too much to control? Has the ghost of Christmas Past come to visit you yet? Has your grandma got run over by a reindeer? 'This all a way to ask how much the holiday season impacts you. Good or bad, happy or sad. Do the expectations of the season put extra demands on you?

This time of the year is always busy and stressful. It can be difficult to get in the spirit some days. Not much different from the rest of the year in many ways. But reminders like these help me to "stop and smell the roses".

 

[RickTango]

For me it is one of the best times of year. It is the extended time with family that makes it best, even after all the stress. The best part is seeing the grand kids get so excited,. Now they are of the age where that excitement extends to the gifts they make for their their parents.

 

[All_4_Love]

http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y417/all_4_love/festive_zpsf24c79eb.jpg

 

[37_ttej]

I would say you know what our Lit friends want us to know. Nothing more nothing less. Even then I'd say believe 50% of it half the time.

Except for me. I'm obviously 100% trustworthy some of the time.
Or generally reliable all of the time.
One of the two: I forget which I tell people.

 

[rubydlite]

Happy Monday! Is hustle & bustle in full swing? Are you trying to be nice or is naughty simoly prove to be too much to control? Has the ghost of Christmas Past come to visit you yet? Has your grandma got run over by a reindeer? 'This all a way to ask how much the holiday season impacts you. Good or bad, happy or sad. Do the expectations of the season put extra demands on you?

3 kids...christmas feels like it started sooooo early. And I'm always nice!!!! I like the holidays but moving away from friends and family has put a bit of a damper on them for me. However, a three year old really makes it joyful!
As for demands, watching my mother freak the fuck out year after year has given me the ability to not place any demands on myself that I don't want too.
now....if only I could work on that naughty.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I have mixed feelings about the holidays. I lost my mother at a very early age. So Mother's Day sucked from the word "go"..
Every other holiday was centered around my father, who hung the Sun, the Moon, and the stars in my eyes. Even when he was wrong, I loved him. The other person who made up my world was my Nana, probably the strongest woman I have, or ever will know.

They're no longer with me, and it's been difficult. It doesn't get easier. I'm thankful for each moment I got to spend with them, though, and remember my Christmas Pasts fondly.

In my current situation, I find myself incapable of creating the same happy memories for my children. I fail miserably, but I try. I want them to experience wonder, love, and family, but it's not here. Christmas has been so commercialized. Where I'd rather not buy gifts at all..ever.. and prefer the company of family and friends, there is still such a dreadful urgency to get gifts, exchange gift cards, etc., that seldom do we honor or create traditions anymore.

My goal is to take the boys to a shelter so they have at least a little respect and gratitude for what we have been given, even though it might not be much.

This world needs perspective.

 

[BlueEyedGent]

I have mixed feelings about the holidays. I lost my mother at a very early age. So Mother's Day sucked from the word "go"..
Every other holiday was centered around my father, who hung the Sun, the Moon, and the stars in my eyes. Even when he was wrong, I loved him. The other person who made up my world was my Nana, probably the strongest woman I have, or ever will know.

They're no longer with me, and it's been difficult. It doesn't get easier. I'm thankful for each moment I got to spend with them, though, and remember my Christmas Pasts fondly.

In my current situation, I find myself incapable of creating the same happy memories for my children. I fail miserably, but I try. I want them to experience wonder, love, and family, but it's not here. Christmas has been so commercialized. Where I'd rather not buy gifts at all..ever.. and prefer the company of family and friends, there is still such a dreadful urgency to get gifts, exchange gift cards, etc., that seldom do we honor or create traditions anymore.

My goal is to take the boys to a shelter so they have at least a little respect and gratitude for what we have been given, even though it might not be much.

This world needs perspective.

RA, first let me say that I am sorry that you lost your mom at an early age and also the fact that your dad and nana have also passed...I am extremely close to my parents and I cannot even imagine a Christmas without them, I also know that realistically there will come a time when they will pass, and that makes me very sad....I grew up in a family that celebrated the holiday with our own little traditions and I feel very blessed that we are still together and can still do that...my mom to this day makes sure that my stocking and my brother's stocking is filled with little things from " Santa" , a few of the " things" are little notes of love, positive affirmations for each of us...I still have most of them that I have been given thru the years... I never have taken my family for granted and reading your post has especially made me reflect , and appreciate them even more...

Don't be so hard on yourself...I cringed when I read that you had said that you fail miserably...because I would bet that if you were to look into a crystal ball into the future, your children will be able to name many happy memories that you were able to provide, so don't sell yourself short.

As for your goal...I think that is wonderful..and as for not being much...I disagree...it will be HUGE...it's a win -win for everyone...

Merry Christmas !

 

[All_4_Love]

RA, first let me say that I am sorry that you lost your mom at an early age and also the fact that your dad and nana have also passed...I am extremely close to my parents and I cannot even imagine a Christmas without them, I also know that realistically there will come a time when they will pass, and that makes me very sad....I grew up in a family that celebrated the holiday with our own little traditions and I feel very blessed that we are still together and can still do that...my mom to this day makes sure that my stocking and my brother's stocking is filled with little things from " Santa" , a few of the " things" are little notes of love, positive affirmations for each of us...I still have most of them that I have been given thru the years... I never have taken my family for granted and reading your post has especially made me reflect , and appreciate them even more...

Don't be so hard on yourself...I cringed when I read that you had said that you fail miserably...because I would bet that if you were to look into a crystal ball into the future, your children will be able to name many happy memories that you were able to provide, so don't sell yourself short.

As for your goal...I think that is wonderful..and as for not being much...I disagree...it will be HUGE...it's a win -win for everyone...

Merry Christmas !

Seconded. Very well said, Gent.

I will also gladly throw in a Bah-Humbug...just because..."commercialized". Need I say more? heh

RA, I lost my mom when I was 19. Even greater than my loss, was her loss. She was only 43. I have lost my children this year to a very angry ex husband. I won't elaborate much except to say that if there has been anything I have done well in my life, it was being an excellent mother to my children. Somehow, that didn't mean anything at the end of my marriage. Money is power, and my ex husband has a lot of it. He is also very good at mind control. And, my precious daddy is many miles away from me. Needless to say, family is scarce for me, as well.

Taking your boys to a shelter to teach them gratitude? You, my dear, are far from a failure. What an extraordinary mom. If you want some company, I'm only a few miles away. *hugs* and Merry Christmas, my dear.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Merry Christmas, BEG.
Eta.. You, too, A4L

 

[BlueEyedGent]

Seconded. Very well said, Gent.

I will also gladly throw in a Bah-Humbug...just because..."commercialized". Need I say more? heh

RA, I lost my mom when I was 19. Even greater than my loss, was her loss. She was only 43. I have lost my children this year to a very angry ex husband. I won't elaborate much except to say that if there has been anything I have done well in my life, it was being an excellent mother to my children. Somehow, that didn't mean anything at the end of my marriage. Money is power, and my ex husband has a lot of it. He is also very good at mind control. And, my precious daddy is many miles away from me. Needless to say, family is scarce for me, as well.

Taking your boys to a shelter to teach them gratitude? You, my dear, are far from a failure. What an extraordinary mom. If you want some company, I'm only a few miles away. *hugs* and Merry Christmas, my dear.

.....and this is a prime example of Lit being much more than a sex site..so much more.

Merry Christmas All 4 Love

 

[All_4_Love]

Merry Christmas All 4 Love

Merry Christmas, Gent.

 

[rubydlite]

RA, first let me say that I am sorry that you lost your mom at an early age and also the fact that your dad and nana have also passed...I am extremely close to my parents and I cannot even imagine a Christmas without them, I also know that realistically there will come a time when they will pass, and that makes me very sad....I grew up in a family that celebrated the holiday with our own little traditions and I feel very blessed that we are still together and can still do that...my mom to this day makes sure that my stocking and my brother's stocking is filled with little things from " Santa" , a few of the " things" are little notes of love, positive affirmations for each of us...I still have most of them that I have been given thru the years... I never have taken my family for granted and reading your post has especially made me reflect , and appreciate them even more...

Don't be so hard on yourself...I cringed when I read that you had said that you fail miserably...because I would bet that if you were to look into a crystal ball into the future, your children will be able to name many happy memories that you were able to provide, so don't sell yourself short.

As for your goal...I think that is wonderful..and as for not being much...I disagree...it will be HUGE...it's a win -win for everyone...

Merry Christmas !

RA...^^^^this ♡


******

ALSO....

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

RA...^^^^this ♡


******

ALSO....

I want a color changing one like the Horse in The Wizard of Oz..

 

[SweetSam42]

******

ALSO....

A-fucking-men, sister. Good god what I would give for a few minutes for myself lately. Xmas break from school hasn't even started yet, and I'm already losing my mind.

I'm not sure I'm gonna make it!

 

[rubydlite]

I want a color changing one like the Horse in The Wizard of Oz..

For you ♡

A-fucking-men, sister. Good god what I would give for a few minutes for myself lately. Xmas break from school hasn't even started yet, and I'm already losing my mind.

I'm not sure I'm gonna make it!

Right!!!! Please.....don't mention break....i might cry lol

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

*smiles*

 

[37_ttej]

I have mixed feelings about the holidays. I lost my mother at a very early age. So Mother's Day sucked from the word "go"..
Every other holiday was centered around my father, who hung the Sun, the Moon, and the stars in my eyes. Even when he was wrong, I loved him. The other person who made up my world was my Nana, probably the strongest woman I have, or ever will know.

They're no longer with me, and it's been difficult. It doesn't get easier. I'm thankful for each moment I got to spend with them, though, and remember my Christmas Pasts fondly.

In my current situation, I find myself incapable of creating the same happy memories for my children. I fail miserably, but I try. I want them to experience wonder, love, and family, but it's not here. Christmas has been so commercialized. Where I'd rather not buy gifts at all..ever.. and prefer the company of family and friends, there is still such a dreadful urgency to get gifts, exchange gift cards, etc., that seldom do we honor or create traditions anymore.

My goal is to take the boys to a shelter so they have at least a little respect and gratitude for what we have been given, even though it might not be much.

This world needs perspective.

Well said, RA.

Mrs Jett lost her mother suddenly a few months ago, so this Christmas is going to be hard for us.
We're deliberately doing something a little different this year because the memories are a little too raw still for the traditional clan gathering.

It's one of the things about growing older, I guess. You start to become acquainted with death and grief alongside the memories of the joy, life and frivolity of youth. The challenge is to hold it all in a way which cherishes the experiences and memories of those we love without being overcome with bitterness and regrets.This is not too put on the rose-colored glasses and deny the pain, but to reflect and become stronger for the journey.

As has been said, you're doing a great job with your kids; giving them a variety of life experiencss which positively shape their values and reality. It's unfortunate that today's commercial machine presents such a false, oversimplified view of the way the world works which ill-prepares our kids for real life.

 

[multitalentman]

I have mixed feelings about the holidays. I lost my mother at a very early age. So Mother's Day sucked from the word "go"..
Every other holiday was centered around my father, who hung the Sun, the Moon, and the stars in my eyes. Even when he was wrong, I loved him. The other person who made up my world was my Nana, probably the strongest woman I have, or ever will know.

They're no longer with me, and it's been difficult. It doesn't get easier. I'm thankful for each moment I got to spend with them, though, and remember my Christmas Pasts fondly.

In my current situation, I find myself incapable of creating the same happy memories for my children. I fail miserably, but I try. I want them to experience wonder, love, and family, but it's not here. Christmas has been so commercialized. Where I'd rather not buy gifts at all..ever.. and prefer the company of family and friends, there is still such a dreadful urgency to get gifts, exchange gift cards, etc., that seldom do we honor or create traditions anymore.

My goal is to take the boys to a shelter so they have at least a little respect and gratitude for what we have been given, even though it might not be much.

This world needs perspective.

I agree with all the other folks that commented on this RA.
I would also like to throw in my 2 cents (or is that scents...eeew ... nah better go with cents) I had the same concerns with my kids. I did my best with what I had been given and they thrived in it. Not because of my efforts, but because of the character that they developed because of the influences around them. Remember, It takes a village to raise a child, not just parents.

The very fact that you are sensitive to what is going on in the world around your family tells me that you will and are creating wonderful memories for your kids. They will have great stories to tell and pull out positive memories that you didn't even consider while going through these times. My adult kids do it all the time. I am still humbled every time they do. Be encouraged!