Litiquette2

[Wide_eyed_Indulgence]

There are some things in life that are given to you, some things that are earned, and a few things that can't be denied. Just like there are those of us that are lucky, those that are good and those that seem to be both. And there are those that accept, those that create, and those that refuse to be dictated to.

Are these the only options available, clearly no but they are what I see/experience quite often. My question? How will your Sunday unfold? Will you take what is given to you and do the best you can or will you awake, knowing what you want and not accept anything less?

Wow, this thread went from thoughtful question to down the toilet (or somewhere) in a mere half dozen posts. Now I am almost too distracted to answer the question.

I said almost . . . . My Sundays are generally kept easy, relaxing, meditative and my demands are modest. So, I know what I want today and as usual, will get it. Again, Sundays are modest. But Monday is another story.

 

[ChainedUp]

Wow, this thread went from thoughtful question to down the toilet (or somewhere) in a mere half dozen posts. Now I am almost too distracted to answer the question.

Please, we are in need of a Savior today

 

[Violetvixen1]

I tend to let things come as they may. I make my own choices about how I react to them though. I make a conscious effort to be a realist and strive to obtain the things that are obtainable.

Now you two stop shitting around and do something productive. BWAHAHAHA I crack myself up!

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Wow, this thread went from thoughtful question to down the toilet (or somewhere) in a mere half dozen posts. Now I am almost too distracted to answer the question.

I said almost . . . . My Sundays are generally kept easy, relaxing, meditative and my demands are modest. So, I know what I want today and as usual, will get it. Again, Sundays are modest. But Monday is another story.

I wasn't trying to distract. I thought I answered the question. I apologize.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

There are some things in life that are given to you, some things that are earned, and a few things that can't be denied. Just like there are those of us that are lucky, those that are good and those that seem to be both. And there are those that accept, those that create, and those that refuse to be dictated to.

Are these the only options available, clearly no but they are what I see/experience quite often. My question? How will your Sunday unfold? Will you take what is given to you and do the best you can or will you awake, knowing what you want and not accept anything less?

I would say a little of both.
I know what I would like for my day, and I will aim for it. I keep my expectations realistic. I will also take opportunistic advantage of anything that gets tossed my way if I feel like it. I generally just like to enjoy myself and not stress out over things too much.. A few of my friends are control freaks, I watch them struggle with the disparity between their expectations and reality. It looks painful at times

 

[Paul_Chance]

There are some things in life that are given to you, some things that are earned, and a few things that can't be denied. Just like there are those of us that are lucky, those that are good and those that seem to be both. And there are those that accept, those that create, and those that refuse to be dictated to.

Are these the only options available, clearly no but they are what I see/experience quite often. My question? How will your Sunday unfold? Will you take what is given to you and do the best you can or will you awake, knowing what you want and not accept anything less?

I am, for better or worse, a fairly driven person. I woke up this morning with a small list of things I want today - half the list is already done, the other half will fall before the days end.

I don't know if anyone has kayaked or white water rafted, but in order for you to determine where your boat is going to go you have to paddle faster then the flow of the river. Otherwise, you just go where the river wants you to go. Sometimes the river thinks the best place for you to go is crashing into the rocks or sliding under a fallen tree. In life as on the river, you don't have to be the fastest paddler there. Go with the flow and use the current of the river and your paddle to be faster then the current. Then, you will go right where you want to go.

 

[rubydlite]

I would say a little of both.
I know what I would like for my day, and I will aim for it. I keep my expectations realistic. I will also take opportunistic advantage of anything that gets tossed my way if I feel like it. I generally just like to enjoy myself and not stress out over things too much.. A few of my friends are control freaks, I watch them struggle with the disparity between their expectations and reality. It looks painful at times

^^^^yup ....this...

 

[Wide_eyed_Indulgence]

I wasn't trying to distract. I thought I answered the question. I apologize.

No, no -- just teasing.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Please, we are in need of a Savior today

It has been a while, but I'm here if you need me, Papa Chained.

 

[Endless_Night]

< A few of my friends are control freaks, I watch them struggle with the disparity between their expectations and reality. It looks painful at times >

Ouch! This ^ probably describes me. But, my controlly personality works for me on the whole. I generally get what I want; confidence and polite insistence go a long way. Unlike RA, I feel the majority of my “wants” are obtainable.

That said, there are a couple of areas in my life where I lack confidence. Places where I don’t know what I want, or for some reason, feel insecure. Those situations can be difficult to navigate. I’d really prefer someone else to handle those “wants”, but it rarely seems to work out that way....

There’s a lot to be said for this v as well. If I can’t achieve my want for some reason or other, usually a little time and “going with the flow” will produce some fresh option.

< In life as on the river, you don't have to be the fastest paddler there. Go with the flow and use the current of the river and your paddle to be faster then the current. Then, you will go right where you want to go.>

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I agree many wants are obtainable. I guess life has shaped me in such a way as to be satisfied with my needs being met, as opposed to my wants. My wants are good things to strive for, but certainly not essential, so I don't lose sleep over it when they fall short of reality.

Too much desire for "wants" , in my opinion, can make one restless, constantly looking over the fence, so to speak. I don't function well in that state. It's one thing to be driven towards one's goals.. Its another thing entirely to be driven by them.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I agree many wants are obtainable. I guess life has shaped me in such a way as to be satisfied with my needs being met, as opposed to my wants. My wants are good things to strive for, but certainly not essential, so I don't lose sleep over it when they fall short of reality.

Too much desire for "wants" , in my opinion, can make one restless, constantly looking over the fence, so to speak. I don't function well in that state. It's one thing to be driven towards one's goals.. Its another thing entirely to be driven by them.

I love that feeling - the boundless relentless energy, constantly looking around for the next great experience. Out of curiosity, can you elaborate on the difference between being driven towards and being driven by? I am not sure I grasp the split.

 

[dutchrain]

I love that feeling - the boundless relentless energy, constantly looking around for the next great experience. Out of curiosity, can you elaborate on the difference between being driven towards and being driven by? I am not sure I grasp the split.

I know you didn't ask me, but I have the same opinion as RA. For me "driven by" means being totally obsessed over something, and "driven towards", working to achieve a goal while enjoying life in the meanwhile.

 

[sweetsophie512]

Ouch! This ^ probably describes me. But, my controlly personality works for me on the whole. I generally get what I want; confidence and polite insistence go a long way. Unlike RA, I feel the majority of my “wants” are obtainable.

That said, there are a couple of areas in my life where I lack confidence. Places where I don’t know what I want, or for some reason, feel insecure. Those situations can be difficult to navigate. I’d really prefer someone else to handle those “wants”, but it rarely seems to work out that way....

There’s a lot to be said for this v as well. If I can’t achieve my want for some reason or other, usually a little time and “going with the flow” will produce some fresh option.

I know that ChainedUp is the MoC here, however I will ask a follow-up question to this particular post. I hope you don't mind. (If you did, I will ask anyway, hah!) Do you feel that you modify your *wants* based on what you believe you can have? Or do you believe that it's a matter of perception?

Sometimes, I think we're so focused on what we THINK we want, that we ACTUALLY get it just not in the form that we want it.

There are things I accept without question and things that I create for myself but in all that, I know that I REFUSE to be dictated to. How does that dynamic work for myself? The things I accept about myself, about the world and how it works, what I strive for and what I achieve, I determine that. No one else can determine that for me. I accept that there are limitations and that there are some things that just cannot be regardless of how hard you work or how much you want them to be. I also know that in the pursuit of such things, you create things for yourself and that can open doors to things that you may not have considered and your world gets bigger and the wants change.

I had a very recent discussion with someone about stagnation. It IS the devil. For as long as you change, you grow. Growth is the key in my opinion. The path in which you pursue the things you want can open doors that you may not have considered and you find yourself. Literally find yourself.

Perception is reality. Acceptance is key. What you accept, you will find. Change your perception and what you deem *realistic* changes right along with it.

 

[dutchrain]

You can't always get what you want ...

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I love that feeling - the boundless relentless energy, constantly looking around for the next great experience. Out of curiosity, can you elaborate on the difference between being driven towards and being driven by? I am not sure I grasp the split.

I know you didn't ask me, but I have the same opinion as RA. For me "driven by" means being totally obsessed over something, and "driven towards", working to achieve a goal while enjoying life in the meanwhile.

Much obliged, Dutchie, for answering in my stead your answer sums up my feelings.

 

[Endless_Night]

I know you didn't ask me, but I have the same opinion as RA. For me "driven by" means being totally obsessed over something, and "driven towards", working to achieve a goal while enjoying life in the meanwhile.

Beautifully put, Dutchrain.

< I know that ChainedUp is the MoC here, however I will ask a follow-up question to this particular post. I hope you don't mind. (If you did, I will ask anyway, hah!) Do you feel that you modify your *wants* based on what you believe you can have? Or do you believe that it's a matter of perception?>

Ask away!

I certainly don’t modify my “wants” consciously. I really believe, rightly or wrongly, that I can achieve pretty much anything. Like you, I dislike being dictated to, and I abhor being pigeonholed. My interests tend to veer from one extreme to another, possibly just to show “i can”. What can I say. I’m a striver.

Still, I don’t really think I could become president of the United States next election! Fortunately for me, that’s not on my agenda. On the whole my want’s are achievable, which probably means they’re modified to some degree, dependent on my particular interests, varied though they might be.

It’s really something of a chicken before the egg question, isn’t it?

And, btw, I couldn’t agree with you more on stagnation. Mental boredom, for me, is the very Devil.

 

[dutchrain]

Much obliged, Dutchie, for answering in my stead your answer sums up my feelings.

It was my pleasure, you put my feelings to words first!

Beautifully put, Dutchrain.

Thank you.



I very much despise to be labeled too. I am me, and I'll life like I feel is good for me, thank you very much. Which doesn't mean I am a rebel just because.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Thank Dutch and RA - that does answer my question and I now understand the difference and I would agree. I'm a driven person - but I am driven to not by. I want to spend time in a gallery full of Vermeer's work. I want to stand in the desert and watch a storm unfold in a late fall sky. I want to do cool and interesting stuff at work. I want to savor a good meal in good company. These are some of the things I am driven to, not driven by.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Do you feel that you modify your *wants* based on what you believe you can have? Or do you believe that it's a matter of perception?

Yes.

Though I am driven to attain what I seek - I am also fluid in what I seek because I know that it can (and does) change, especially as life unfolds around us. Sometimes the things that are hidden in the folds of life, concealed until we first glimpse them, are even more spectacular than we ever expected.

 

[jameslewis]

Whether it's driven by, or driven towards, I think it's essential that we don't get so locked in by expectations that we aren't open to the unexpected, timely little gifts that life has to offer us. The unexpected message from someone we don't know; an offer to build, create, work on something new that takes us in different and exciting directions; hearing or reading something that just clicks and explains a problem we've been wrestling with. Whatever the focus, I think we absolutely have to remain open.

 

[ChainedUp]

Happy Monday everyone. Whether it's the blurt thread, Dear Litster, Dear X, the boards are full of messages with thinly veiled secret meanings. Some we are able to figure out, some are so veiled only the intended subject will understand. what drives us to post secret but not so secret messages. What is it about our psyche that revels in them when we understand or are the subject. Even when it's derogatory it's different than being told straight up. Why do you like it? Why do you post messages in that way? Why do we enjoy reading them?

 

[dutchrain]

Happy Monday everyone. Whether it's the blurt thread, Dear Litster, Dear X, the boards are full of messages with thinly veiled secret meanings. Some we are able to figure out, some are so veiled only the intended subject will understand. what drives us to post secret but not so secret messages. What is it about our psyche that revels in them when we understand or are the subject. Even when it's derogatory it's different than being told straight up. Why do you like it? Why do you post messages in that way? Why do we enjoy reading them?

I enjoy reading them because I like puzzles and sometimes I am in the mood to try to unravel the messages, try look which ones belong together, especially on the "Dear Litster" and "Dear X".

I very seldom post that way. Most often on the "Blurt" or "What made you say fuck today", when something is heavy on my mind, but I don't want to discuss it. Sometimes it feels good to just post a blurt. But people get a very clear view of what has made me post. I don't post in "code" there.

Until now I never had the feeling I was the addressed in a "Dear X" or "Dear Litster", but I might have missed those posts (if they are there) since I don't check those threads on a daily base.

 

[Thandi]

Happy Monday everyone. Whether it's the blurt thread, Dear Litster, Dear X, the boards are full of messages with thinly veiled secret meanings. Some we are able to figure out, some are so veiled only the intended subject will understand. what drives us to post secret but not so secret messages. What is it about our psyche that revels in them when we understand or are the subject. Even when it's derogatory it's different than being told straight up. Why do you like it? Why do you post messages in that way? Why do we enjoy reading them?

This thread, Blurt & Dear Litster are my 3 faves.
I find that I can figure out a little more about someone on those threads, plus I find them intriguing. I like to be intrigued.

 

[ydahecnot]

I don't like the one that's color-coded; I can't remember what stands for what. Otherwise, those are fun threads