Litiquette

[ChainedUp]

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

 

[stickygirl]

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

Sure - when I first arrived there were plenty of things I found quite shocking: BDSM ( which I still avoid ) and seriously yucky PMs. Being a newbie anywhere means finding a comfort zone but some people give up on Lit pretty quickly and I can only assume they find the content unpalatable. I can't say I blame them - I nearly quit myself, but I made some friends quite quickly and was getting some nice story feedback.

Now I'm an old hand I'm surprised less often because I know BS when I see it. If people try to push me outside my zone they can take a hike.

 

[dutchrain]

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

I won't say it all feels like second nature to me, but I certainly am a lot more comfortable than I was in the beginning. I am not as worried if I used the right change or chance, lie or lay and such as I was.

The first post here ... it was a bit like diving in a pool filled with friendly people who where a tiny bit intimidating because they all seemed to know each other so very well for a really long time.

 

[MedicalMuse]

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

More often than I like to think, especially with certain people. There's the physical side, then there's the emotional side, then psychological. I think it's probably worse when someone gets into your head, and you're not sure if you ever meant to let them in there. Sometimes they don't do damage, because you're as much in theirs as they are in yours. Sometimes they tear shit up, because "this is the internet" after all, and I think people don't realize that this is just an extension of your physical life. It can be just as real here. Maybe more so, because your brain is fully engaged. Idk. I'm amazed with how comfortable I am talking about some things here.

 

[Thandi]

The first post here ... it was a bit like diving in a pool filled with friendly people who where a tiny bit intimidating because they all seemed to know each other so very well for a really long time.

That first post sure was a scary one...and I did it on the GB because I didn't know any better...I pretty much ran screaming out the door....only to tiptoe back when Aquagal whispered to me about the PG (did I ever thank you for that? If not...THANK YOU!)

It has become a comfortable place now...however I sometimes surprise myself at times when a feeling pops up that I didn't know existed.

 

[dutchrain]

That first post sure was a scary one...and I did it on the GB because I didn't know any better...I pretty much ran screaming out the door....only to tiptoe back when Aquagal whispered to me about the PG (did I ever thank you for that? If not...THANK YOU!)

It has become a comfortable place now...however I sometimes surprise myself at times when a feeling pops up that I didn't know existed.

My very first post was on the german board. That wasn't very intimidating because they mainly discuss and don't do banter. (Don't ask me why, I don't know. To find an innuendo there you'd need real good glasses.) The GB was less intimidating. They are just some screaming bullies who are ignored by most of the posters there. Most of the discussions aren't very interesting to me though.

But here, on the PG, where everybody seemed to know everybody else, where banter and innuendoes flies around like bees over a meadow in the height of summer ...

 

[stickygirl]

That first post sure was a scary one...and I did it on the GB because I didn't know any better...I pretty much ran screaming out the door....only to tiptoe back when Aquagal whispered to me about the PG (did I ever thank you for that? If not...THANK YOU!)

Isn't it shameful that we have to run a GB triage for newbies that get assaulted there? Some of those people are a complete disgrace: their karma will get them in the end. Grrrr

 

[BreezySnow]

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

I have actually been here twice, so let me refer to my very first time here. It wasn't bad at all because some friends told me about this site and they were there posting so I easily slipped into the flow of things. During my first time here I did allow people to push me out of my comfort zone, sometimes it was good and sometimes it wasn't. I learned a lot during that time here and made quite a few friends who seem to be gone for the most part now.

Now, for my second time here, I was not intimidated, just had to keep searching until I found the place where I fit in best. I originally came back with my other name and found that people didn't seem to talk to me too much. Not sure if it was because of the amount of posts, the join year or what it was, but anyhow I decided to do an experiment and see how well others would talk to a brand new person. Experiment was a success, lots of people will talk to a "newbie" and make them feel more welcome than a person who seems to have been here for a long time. So, because of my exprience here there is no pushing me out of my comfort zone, I decide what I do or don't do.

 

[rubydlite]

"And it was late in the evening"

Most of is have stayed up later then we might normally to chat in Lit. Sleep is the easiest thing you can give up for Lit. What have you given up that in retrospect probably wasn't the best idea? For me, it's work. I have not paid attention to work things to be on Lit and had to play catch up as a result. Then there are those pesky conference calls that are so easy to be distracted from.

Mostly it's chores...
When I go back to work I'm sure I'll have to buckle down....eeek
(Let's pray for my home business to work)

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

I was a bit scared the first time I posted...fortunately someone quickly guided me to the playground. I came to lit a little closed in on myself...so I was/am truly looking to branch out.I started a thread ...that was big....from that and meeting people I've been pushed...mostly in a good way. In regards to individuals pushing me past my comfort zone....I'm truly looking for that....in a positive way.

 

[Blase]

I've learned where my comfort zone is over time and I don't go looking for situations that I'm bound to dislike: Passionate, even heated discussions are fine, for example, but when I think people are just disingenuously stirring the pot, or if an argument has turned personal, there's seldom any good to be done, so I let things be.

As for online play, random one-offs were fine a long time ago when being online, let alone playing there, was new. These days, I'm looking for more, so I ignore ads by people who are apparently happy to accommodate any number of partners. And I don't answer ads whose authors talk about how roughly they want to be treated, because nothing lies down that road but mutual frustration.

Actually, I think what happens more often is that I wind up pushing someone out of their comfort zone. It goes back to what MedicalMuse was saying:

I think it's probably worse when someone gets into your head... I think people don't realize that this is just an extension of your physical life. It can be just as real here. Maybe more so, because your brain is fully engaged.

I've learned that a lot of people who are "exploring" their fantasies or their sexuality through online interactions haven't really thought through what they're doing, or they simply tell themselves that what they do online doesn't count because it isn't "real". I don't let my partners do that, and for some, facing the reality of what they're doing is just too much.

 

[SweetSam42]

I'm constantly knocked out of my comfort zone here, for one reason or another. But, most of it has been fun and well worth the ride.

I think it's good for me: I'm not a risk taker in real life - I just play one on the Internet.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I've been online a long time. Not much of what is said and done online pushes me out of any zone, much less my comfort zone. The experience of the internet, in all it's strange variations, is very much an experience of choice. I think if you make the right choices, it can be a friendly and enjoyable place. Ignore liberally, both technically and in your mind.

 

[TheSilverLining]

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

I wouldn't say that all that is Lit seems second nature.
I don't think it'll ever seem second nature.
However, my comfor zone has definitely evolved. It seems to be that - whenever I have felt somewhere close to comfortable - something has come along and knocked me right back to where i started. It's a cyclical thing.

Mainly posting in threads like this and giving an opinion on things. I can't do that irl. Nor will you find many pictures of me outside of certain social networking sites. I have a phobia of pics. Lit Av? Not a problem. Weird, huh?

"And it was late in the evening"

Most of is have stayed up later then we might normally to chat in Lit. Sleep is the easiest thing you can give up for Lit. What have you given up that in retrospect probably wasn't the best idea? For me, it's work. I have not paid attention to work things to be on Lit and had to play catch up as a result. Then there are those pesky conference calls that are so easy to be distracted from.

Sleep, definitely. I used to tell people that I was something of an insomniac - turns out i was something of a Lit-aholic. I found a wee break from the place just happened to cure my insomnia. Magick!

Oh, and when I was at Uni I definitely let my assignments and essays slide occasionally. But really when there's throusands of words to be written, you simply MUST prioritise porn!

 

[Paul_Chance]

...But really when there's throusands of words to be written, you simply MUST prioritise porn!

That made me laugh - great answer!

For me, it has been a long time since I lost sleep over Lit or the internet in general. In the early years I did, long before I came to Lit, but I can't recall the last time Lit interfered with IRL or I felt compelled to choose one at the expense of the other. Tomorrow is still going to be there - and that is one of the great things about a BBS like Lit - unlike chat, BBS postings never vanish, so you can read everything that was said today, tomorrow.

 

[ydahecnot]

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

No reason to be here if not to have fun. So I won't keep focus on anything that makes me uncomfortable. I think the more germane thing is becoming more at ease and not be intimidated, and that comes with time

 

[ChainedUp]

Posts requesting thoughts, advice, concern, or even prayers, cryptic or not; I am of the opinion when you put something like that out there you are under an obligation to report back, good or bad, the outcome. I see these types of posts frequently but only rarely do I see the conclusion. Maybe my timing is off but it seems to me there's a lot of asking going on, and I think the ask should require the tell.

Or am I off base?

 

[stickygirl]

Oh, and when I was at Uni I definitely let my assignments and essays slide occasionally. But really when there's thousands of words to be written, you simply MUST prioritise porn!

Oh thank god it's not just me

Posts requesting thoughts, advice, concern, or even prayers, cryptic or not; I am of the opinion when you put something like that out there you are under an obligation to report back, good or bad, the outcome. I see these types of posts frequently but only rarely do I see the conclusion. Maybe my timing is off but it seems to me there's a lot of asking going on, and I think the ask should require the tell.

Or am I off base?

You're totally on base Chainey. I think an OP is socially obliged to monitor and respond to their post for a few days or posts at very least. I have taken time to reply to some posts, and PMs, and if the OP doesn't reply it's just rude - like someone walking away from you mid conversation.

 

[NotHisLady]

Posts requesting thoughts, advice, concern, or even prayers, cryptic or not; I am of the opinion when you put something like that out there you are under an obligation to report back, good or bad, the outcome. I see these types of posts frequently but only rarely do I see the conclusion. Maybe my timing is off but it seems to me there's a lot of asking going on, and I think the ask should require the tell.

Or am I off base?

ok...
wow, really?

Someone gets to the point where reaching out to a bunch of strangers is there last best option and in order to get that they should have to 'report back' afterwards?

maybe we just better call this one an area of disagreement, Chained (not that I don't still love ya)

 

[ChainedUp]

ok...
wow, really?

Someone gets to the point where reaching out to a bunch of strangers is there last best option and in order to get that they should have to 'report back' afterwards?

maybe we just better call this one an area of disagreement, Chained (not that I don't still love ya)

I don't mind being told I'm off base. I'm not asking for details just along the lines of "thanks everyone for your support, things turned out great" would be nice to hear. Maybe I'm asking for too much.

 

[dutchrain]

Posts requesting thoughts, advice, concern, or even prayers, cryptic or not; I am of the opinion when you put something like that out there you are under an obligation to report back, good or bad, the outcome. I see these types of posts frequently but only rarely do I see the conclusion. Maybe my timing is off but it seems to me there's a lot of asking going on, and I think the ask should require the tell.

Or am I off base?

You're totally on base Chainey. I think an OP is socially obliged to monitor and respond to their post for a few days or posts at very least. I have taken time to reply to some posts, and PMs, and if the OP doesn't reply it's just rude - like someone walking away from you mid conversation.

ok...
wow, really?

Someone gets to the point where reaching out to a bunch of strangers is there last best option and in order to get that they should have to 'report back' afterwards?

maybe we just better call this one an area of disagreement, Chained (not that I don't still love ya)

I don't mind being told I'm off base. I'm not asking for details just along the lines of "thanks everyone for your support, things turned out great" would be nice to hear. Maybe I'm asking for too much.

No, I think you, Chained, and Sticky are right. I too have responded per PM if someone posted quite intimate questions on the "How to" or in the "PM" thread. A simple "Thank you" would be nice, nothing at all is just rude.

I really can understand such a person maybe was surprised by his/hers own 'audacity' to post, but still ... It really would be appreciated if they would keep in touch with their thread for a little while.

But maybe these people got a (or some) asshat replies first and were disgusted and left. That too is possible. It still leaves me with an (often lengthy, detailed) always sincere PM which took me quite some time and often emotional 'digging' to write.

If someone posts a "blurt" or on the "Three things" I don't expect a reaction if I send them a PM. But those people nearly always do.

 

[shmily]

It's tawdry Tuesday, embrace it!

The first time you post on a thread, the first PM, the first voice chat. All of these can be examples of being pushed puts ride your comfort zone. How frequently are you pushed outside of your comfort zone here? Or has your comfort zone evolved and all that is Lit seems second nature to you,

well, that was a long time ago, but really at Lit I felt comfortable, I was able to express myself and not have people shocked - by what I was talking about. I pushed myself a little out of a comfort zone to experiment some. there are places I still avoid and will in Lit.
s'

 

[shmily]

Posts requesting thoughts, advice, concern, or even prayers, cryptic or not; I am of the opinion when you put something like that out there you are under an obligation to report back, good or bad, the outcome. I see these types of posts frequently but only rarely do I see the conclusion. Maybe my timing is off but it seems to me there's a lot of asking going on, and I think the ask should require the tell.

Or am I off base?

there was a thread many moons ago - "the sheltering tree" - a very close group with whom some friendships extended outside of Lit. we did report back on requests and concerns.

but, as others have expressed here - some are not comfortable with that - but a simple PM would suffice. seems like a double standard - willing to ask - but not wanting to report the conclusion.
just my 2cents...
s'

 

[ChainedUp]

The personality of Lit is constantly changing. Sometimes noticeably, sometimes not. Describe what you think the personality of the Playground is.

My attempt: the playground is a sex driven site where innuendo reigns supreme but is slowly moving from a place that was the sum of the parts to becoming a collection of silos

 

[dutchrain]

A collection of silos ... Yes .

The PG is always changing, like a beehive, folks swarming out, starting new hives ...

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

The PG is like a block party. Some times you're invited. On others you notice a group of cars parked in the cul De sac and wonder, WTH?