Litiquette VII

[Lord Pmann]

It’s a good feeling, lots of good chats and topics. And occasionally citations would need to be issued.

PAPA CHAINED!!!! Start your thread back up, you horny bastard.

 

[ChainedUp]

reboots are good for nostalgia lovers but they never really seem to work on their own merit

 

[ChainedUp]

So let me try this out for old time’s sake….

We are a civilized society, well for the most part, and we all know we should treat each other with respect and gratitude. It appears though that the value of a meaningful “thank-you” has been undermined by the superfluous showering of thank-yous or expected thank-you’s.

So good old(and new) friends of Litequette, when should a thank you be issued and when is okay to not say it? Does every action(waitstaff bringing food to the table, a mundane chore being completed, or a responding to a question) require a thank-you. Are we desensitizing ourselves to the value of a thank-you?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Slips in, thought I’d wander the old place, see what ghosts are still kicking about.

Strips naked, covers herself in a bed sheet.

Boo!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

So let me try this out for old time’s sake….

We are a civilized society, well for the most part, and we all know we should treat each other with respect and gratitude. It appears though that the value of a meaningful “thank-you” has been undermined by the superfluous showering of thank-yous or expected thank-you’s.

So good old(and new) friends of Litequette, when should a thank you be issued and when is okay to not say it? Does every action(waitstaff bringing food to the table, a mundane chore being completed, or a responding to a question) require a thank-you. Are we desensitizing ourselves to the value of a thank-you?

Gratitude can be habitual and heartfelt.

Just like love, I believe that giving out thanks haphazardly and joyfully starts to rewire my brain to default to feeling thankful. And that has done wonders for me, my life and helps me succeed.

I have tried to pause and be intentional with my "I love you"'s. I'm going to try the same with my "thank you"'s.

Seriously, it's good to see you back Chainey

I tried a discussion thread and I realized pretty quickly that I took your stamina for granted all these years.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I don’t think the quantity of thank you’s are a problem. ‘Please‘ and ‘thank you‘ are taught to kids for a reason. I think what really matters is the intent behind it. I believe this with all words (I’m not of the ‘words hurt’ tribe, I think intent matters far more).

With the exception of sarcasm, I don’t think I’ve heard an unacceptable thank you. Even an unpleasant or sarcastic thank you still kind of works.

I take them for what they are, a pleasantry.

I even appreciate when a formal ‘thank you’ ‘you’re welcome’ occurs between friends or family when it’s completely unnecessary.

It’s just nice.

 

[ChainedUp]

I tried a discussion thread and I realized pretty quickly that I took your stamina for granted all these years.

One should never doubt my stamina

 

[ChainedUp]

I don’t think the quantity of thank you’s are a problem. ‘Please‘ and ‘thank you‘ are taught to kids for a reason. I think what really matters is the intent behind it. I believe this with all words (I’m not of the ‘words hurt’ tribe, I think intent matters far more).

With the exception of sarcasm, I don’t think I’ve heard an unacceptable thank you. Even an unpleasant or sarcastic thank you still kind of works.

I take them for what they are, a pleasantry.

I even appreciate when a formal ‘thank you’ ‘you’re welcome’ occurs between friends or family when it’s completely unnecessary.

It’s just nice.

I’ll agree with no such thing as an unacceptable thank you but aren’t there unnecessary thank yous?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

One should never doubt my stamina

What about testing it?

 

[ChainedUp]

What about testing it?

That should happen as frequently as possible

 

[aussiegeekygal]

That should happen as frequently as possible

I think I've found my new favorite sport?

 

[ChainedUp]

I think I've found my new favorite sport?

always bring your A game

 

[Dribble]

I have no problem saying thank you. It is common courtesy. Sometimes it may not be necessary...but if it comes from my heart...how can that be bad? Are there unnecessary thankyous? Sure. But does it matter? P

I don't think it is the number of thank yous that's the problem. But there are a lot of selfish, disingenuous people out there masking their behavior by saying it. And those people are easy to identify in my opinion

Edit: Good to see you again

 

[MedicalMuse]

So let me try this out for old time’s sake….

We are a civilized society, well for the most part, and we all know we should treat each other with respect and gratitude. It appears though that the value of a meaningful “thank-you” has been undermined by the superfluous showering of thank-yous or expected thank-you’s.

So good old(and new) friends of Litequette, when should a thank you be issued and when is okay to not say it? Does every action(waitstaff bringing food to the table, a mundane chore being completed, or a responding to a question) require a thank-you. Are we desensitizing ourselves to the value of a thank-you?

My opinion…
I think if you’re grateful for something, you say it. No matter how small it seems. Someone has a shit day, and the thing that maybe turns it around is a heartfelt thank you from someone who may otherwise not give it because it’s over done…. I’ll err on the side of saying it. If they don’t appreciate it, they can do the real world equivalent of scrolling by.

Won’t change me.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

always bring your A game

When do I not? Lol.

Careful, we're going to earn ourselves a citation if we keep this up.

 

[ChainedUp]

When do I not? Lol.

Careful, we're going to earn ourselves a citation if we keep this up.

I believe that would be called a masturcitation

 

[parker77]

i say thank you at any time i believe were i the other party, it would be nice to hear. it’s the little things.

that said, when something happens that warrants greater gratitude, i’m quick with a handwritten note or a hug or a handshake or something else appropriately personal.

 

[Dribble]

My opinion…
I think if you’re grateful for something, you say it. No matter how small it seems. Someone has a shit day, and the thing that maybe turns it around is a heartfelt thank you from someone who may otherwise not give it because it’s over done…. I’ll err on the side of saying it. If they don’t appreciate it, they can do the real world equivalent of scrolling by.

Won’t change me.

Exactly. Even the most simplest things like unrequired "thank you" can turn someone's day around. Break the pattern they couldn't break alone. Be able to go home and leave the shit behind.

 

[cascadiabound]

Exactly. Even the most simplest things like unrequired "thank you" can turn someone's day around. Break the pattern they couldn't break alone. Be able to go home and leave the shit behind.

Kindness matters
You never know how much.

An attitude of gratitude and an assumption of abundance goes a long way

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’ll agree with no such thing as an unacceptable thank you but aren’t there unnecessary thank yous?

Probably, but I can’t think of a single example.
By the way, thank you for the insightful question.

 

[ChainedUp]

Thanks to everyone that offered a response, and thanks to those that stopped by and read. And thanks to those that saw that I was posting again and thought “well, fuck, I’d thought that guy had gone”. Lol. See what I did there…..anyway

This middle week, between Christmas(for those that observe it) and the New Year, are often a time for fun, reflection, to let loose of work for a bit. Some, have to keep on working as if it was any other day.

For those that have a break, do you use this time any differently than you might a week off at some other point? Are there traditions to be followed, activities that are best done now? Do you start a home project or do you lounge about the house and watch the telly.

How do you fill your days?

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Thanks to everyone that offered a response, and thanks to those that stopped by and read. And thanks to those that saw that I was posting again and thought “well, fuck, I’d thought that guy had gone”. Lol. See what I did there…..anyway

This middle week, between Christmas(for those that observe it) and the New Year, are often a time for fun, reflection, to let loose of work for a bit. Some, have to keep on working as if it was any other day.

For those that have a break, do you use this time any differently than you might a week off at some other point? Are there traditions to be followed, activities that are best done now? Do you start a home project or do you lounge about the house and watch the telly.

How do you fill your days?

We typically run around and visit all the relatives we can cram into a 5 day trip. It’s nice to see everyone, but it definitely isn’t a week of relaxation for me.

 

[ChainedUp]

When Aussie was joking about the stamina it takes to keep a thread like this going, yesterday was a perfect example. LonelyWife did her part but this was a topic that generated 0 interest. Back when I first started the thread this would have bothered me. Why didn’t anyone respond? Was the question bad? Do people think the thread itself is lame? All these thoughts would have rushed into my head. I’d have likely tried to jump in and pump life into the thread, hoping that at a minimum my listing would put it back on the front page. From that perspective, a thread like this, one that required engagement and involvement in order to survive, can be exhausting.

But overtime I realized it’s okay. People’s lives are busy, responding to my thread isn’t their top priority, every topic isn’t revelatory. I get it and I developed a thicker skin. So now I post a topic and just let it breathe for good or bad.

Which, brings me to today’s topic. What with Lit have you grown a thick skin over? What things used to bother you but now no longer does? Was it a slow reckoning or a lightening strike type of change? At what point do you just utter a virtual “fuck it” and move on?

 

[may_I_please]

Yeah I’m still thin skinned but I have the masking abilities of a true expert

I avoided the “thank you” question because there are no times when manners don’t count, even if by rote they are there because that’s the expectation. Sincere manners clearly count more and one can choose to avoid for humour or anger’s sake but manners still, and always will, maketh the man

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

When Aussie was joking about the stamina it takes to keep a thread like this going, yesterday was a perfect example. LonelyWife did her part but this was a topic that generated 0 interest. Back when I first started the thread this would have bothered me. Why didn’t anyone respond? Was the question bad? Do people think the thread itself is lame? All these thoughts would have rushed into my head. I’d have likely tried to jump in and pump life into the thread, hoping that at a minimum my listing would put it back on the front page. From that perspective, a thread like this, one that required engagement and involvement in order to survive, can be exhausting.

But overtime I realized it’s okay. People’s lives are busy, responding to my thread isn’t their top priority, every topic isn’t revelatory. I get it and I developed a thicker skin. So now I post a topic and just let it breathe for good or bad.

Which, brings me to today’s topic. What with Lit have you grown a thick skin over? What things used to bother you but now no longer does? Was it a slow reckoning or a lightening strike type of change? At what point do you just utter a virtual “fuck it” and move on?

One thread about wore me out trying to maintain/police/keep the peace, I ended up asking for it to be closed. It was draining me so much!

To answer the thank you question, my parents beat good manners into me. So much so that I have beaten them into my husband. His culture doesn't say thank you for every little thing, but I do.

I've said "f it" and tried to move on from some things that bother me, but I always circle back, so why lie to myself? lol But I am doing much better at ignoring the people who irritate me or I don't like (thicker skin). I'm also doing much better at avoiding Lit when I'm in a crappy mood.

Something that will ALWAYS bother me is how people treat others on here... telling them that they're paranoid and/or need psychological help, when the person is very clearly seeing the signs of a relationship ending. Because it's easier to gaslight someone than to be honest and say "I've moved on"? Just straight out dump someone, don't pull away slowly and act like nothing is wrong, then tell them they're crazy on top of that. Why the need to cause more damage when you already know you're going to break their heart? That I'll never understand.