Litiquette VII
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Endless_Night
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I ask. Hints and dissembling aren't really my wheelhouse. So I ask what is going on.
If it's a causal friendship I don't push. One or two inquires before walking away or stepping back. Something more intimate and I might push, and I'm not entirely sure why. Annoyance, maybe? I mean, if they haven't taken the opening to explain it's probably safe to assume an explanation won't be forthcoming. Idk, it's hard to discern a pattern as it's not something that happens often.
Have I *unfriended* anyone in this manner? Not that I recall, but considering I disappear for months at a time if focused on a project my behavior is probably equally obnoxious.
I'm unaware of any terminology. If there isn't any can we make something up?
Because now I am interested.
Trekka
Cheap Sunglasses.
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I’m a polite girl!
I swear.
^not sure what you mean...
you mean if you’re an internet tumbleweed, under a hundred posts, blowing through town having a few wanks from time to time, and then you tumble off?
or do you mean “on here anonymously” as in you refrain from divulging any personal info, keep folks at arms length, (have a few wanks) and then disappear/reappear at will?
or do you mean something else?
we’re all more or less on here anonymously...
SassySheDevil
Moody Roller Coaster
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Ghosting
Haunting
The Slow Fade
We’ve all been there. Probably done something of the sort once or twice. It can be common in the online fantasy fuckland world, the RL dating scene...
But when people you’ve been friends with suddenly start to treat you like a stranger, or interact only minimally with you, is there a term coined for that situation? What’s the protocol there?
Also, this list of new words has been brought to my attention... and some of them gave me a good laugh and/or eye roll. —> enjoy and comment as you see fit.
These made me laugh.. Been some. Done some.
Fermina_Daza
That’s not my name….
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Ghosting
Haunting
The Slow Fade
We’ve all been there. Probably done something of the sort once or twice. It can be common in the online fantasy fuckland world, the RL dating scene...
But when people you’ve been friends with suddenly start to treat you like a stranger, or interact only minimally with you, is there a term coined for that situation? What’s the protocol there?
Also, this list of new words has been brought to my attention... and some of them gave me a good laugh and/or eye roll. —> enjoy and comment as you see fit.
I’m guilty of this. It’s why I don’t get close to people here anymore. I don’t log in regularly enough (usually) anymore to maintain relationships or friendships. And there are times where I just don’t have the energy to interact with others. I think o could truly live in isolation as long as I had books.
But I’ve never done it with the intent to hurt anymore. Not that that really matters.....
QuietCanadian
Still D.R.E.
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Tator Tot. I might have snorted my coffee.
That one got me as well.
Trekka
Cheap Sunglasses.
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I ask. Hints and dissembling aren't really my wheelhouse. So I ask what is going on.
If it's a causal friendship I don't push. One or two inquires before walking away or stepping back. Something more intimate and I might push, and I'm not entirely sure why. Annoyance, maybe? I mean, if they haven't taken the opening to explain it's probably safe to assume an explanation won't be forthcoming. Idk, it's hard to discern a pattern as it's not something that happens often.
Have I *unfriended* anyone in this manner? Not that I recall, but considering I disappear for months at a time if focused on a project my behavior is probably equally obnoxious.
I'm unaware of any terminology. If there isn't any can we make something up?
Because now I am interested.
This is pretty fucking insightful- and I wish it would flash across my screen every time I’m tempted to write a “yo, haven’t heard from you in a while. You ok?” message that invariably gets returned with a (patronizing?) blah blah busy blah work blah I’m fine blah blah.
Which we both know is total baloney. And then you wind up in the “do I dig?” thought loop. And these days? I don’t dig. I done hung up my shovel. If they wanna spill it, they’ll spill it.
And I guess I can’t blame them for doing the slow fade/ghost/what have you... I’ve done it too. It’s hard to tell someone “I’m just not that into you!” Be it a friend or something more.
There are a few Big Ghost Jobs I’ve been a part of... both ghoster and ghostee... but the Big Ghostings always involved some sorta eventual post-mortem relationship dissection (vivisection?)
...I’d much rather eat tater tots
QuietCanadian
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...I’d much rather eat tater tots
That's an interesting way to ask for a picture of my penis.
Dribble
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Hypothetical time. (Not really...but let's pretend). Say a relationship starts blooming. You put in hours, writing things about yourself. You receive the same back. This goes on for weeks or even months. Then life "gets busy". But they still want to hear from you. So you go on, investing the same amount...dropping walls...sharing things rarely shared. And days go by...weeks...month...where the best you might get is a sentence apologizing for not having time...but that you are important. And even that comes less and less frequently. Finally, you look at reality. I am not important enough to send a txt message to...one minute...a day. So...you pull back. Wondering what will happen? You still write...but nothing real. Empty words. And that is what you get back. Nothing. Not an explanation of why life is busy...how they are feeling. Ghosting? Nah...it is exactly what it seems to be.
Or maybe things grow...but there is this nagging feeling you can't put a finger on. An unwillingness to drop the walls and share as you do. I get it...I will earn that trust. Months pass and you realize...what you get is all they are willing to give. And that isn't enough or what you want. So you back away. Ghosting? Nah...it too is exactly what it seems to be.
Or maybe something happens, and you see a whole different side to someone that they hid for months or years. It happens with online anonymity a lot. And you are like...whoa... They are totally entitled to be who they are. And I am totally entitled to accept it...or not. Is it ghosting? Nah...it is what it seems to be.
People are here for all sorts of reasons. Each is entitled to that right. It is not a judgment. But if it is for reasons I am not...and the friendship feels strained...is that ghosting? Nah...it is what it seems to be.
Ghosting does happen. Most times, however....I don't see it as ghosting even if someone else does. It is...what it seems to be.
Or maybe things grow...but there is this nagging feeling you can't put a finger on. An unwillingness to drop the walls and share as you do. I get it...I will earn that trust. Months pass and you realize...what you get is all they are willing to give. And that isn't enough or what you want. So you back away. Ghosting? Nah...it too is exactly what it seems to be.
Or maybe something happens, and you see a whole different side to someone that they hid for months or years. It happens with online anonymity a lot. And you are like...whoa... They are totally entitled to be who they are. And I am totally entitled to accept it...or not. Is it ghosting? Nah...it is what it seems to be.
People are here for all sorts of reasons. Each is entitled to that right. It is not a judgment. But if it is for reasons I am not...and the friendship feels strained...is that ghosting? Nah...it is what it seems to be.
Ghosting does happen. Most times, however....I don't see it as ghosting even if someone else does. It is...what it seems to be.
Trekka
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Orchidea73
Adaneth, I am!
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I can relate to this.
QuietCanadian
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Dribble
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Apparently
Dribble winds the internet tonight.
What really matters is that I saved a ton of money switching to Geico.
Endless_Night
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Haha! I think that's why I push if it's someone I know - or thought I knew - well. I'm either annoyed they don't have the chutzpah to just tell me what's up or annoyed I didn't realize they were likely to lack integrity in their personal interactions.
Did I mention I push in an obnoxious way? Have I mentioned I'm not a very nice person?
In a sort of sideway segue, a situation that gives me trouble is when a guy starts being friendly. Hanging out in my space that makes it clear they are interested. What's the problem, you ask? The problem is they never say they are interested. And the way they display their interest never gives me an opening to jump in and say: You're a cool dude, but I'm not interested!
It's like being trapped in one of Dante's circles of Hell.
SMNaughtywife
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Dribble made some good points. Nicely said.
I’ve seen a lot of times where people are upset and pull out the ole actions speak louder than words quote.
So let me get this straight, someone is here and good chance w/o their SO knowing. And one is upset at them because they’re choosing RL first?
Ya know, that SO of theirs, job, kids, responsibilities, hobbies and what have yous.
Nope, that quote really doesn’t apply here. Best one learns that right off the bat and save some passive aggressive talk. It makes you look silly, just sayin.
*
And if one is still are having trouble with it, you need to say it out-loud to someone so you know how illogical it sound.
Four stages of friendship development:
Stranger, Acquaintance, Casual Friend, Close Friend.
I think sometimes people get the word friend and acquaintances mixed up. A lot.
For me, 99% of the people I talk to are an acquaintance. I’m not being cold, I’m being realistic to the definition. If I don’t know your last name, where you live or work, some personal tid bits and our conversations are very generalized - that is an acquaintance. Which is perfectly fine, it’s all groovy and grand in candy land.
That’s just how I roll, I’ve let very very very few get close to me. Not that I’m a cold cheeky bitch, only because ... well, it doesn’t matter. It’s my choice and reasoning.
A close friend lives in your heart, your thoughts, in RL conversations and can call or message you knowing you’ll be there.
Might not be that second, but never an excuse is made not to be there.
This is something special in my book.
I’ve seen a lot of times where people are upset and pull out the ole actions speak louder than words quote.
So let me get this straight, someone is here and good chance w/o their SO knowing. And one is upset at them because they’re choosing RL first?
Ya know, that SO of theirs, job, kids, responsibilities, hobbies and what have yous.
Nope, that quote really doesn’t apply here. Best one learns that right off the bat and save some passive aggressive talk. It makes you look silly, just sayin.
*And if one is still are having trouble with it, you need to say it out-loud to someone so you know how illogical it sound.
Four stages of friendship development:
Stranger, Acquaintance, Casual Friend, Close Friend.
I think sometimes people get the word friend and acquaintances mixed up. A lot.
For me, 99% of the people I talk to are an acquaintance. I’m not being cold, I’m being realistic to the definition. If I don’t know your last name, where you live or work, some personal tid bits and our conversations are very generalized - that is an acquaintance. Which is perfectly fine, it’s all groovy and grand in candy land.
That’s just how I roll, I’ve let very very very few get close to me. Not that I’m a cold cheeky bitch, only because ... well, it doesn’t matter. It’s my choice and reasoning.
A close friend lives in your heart, your thoughts, in RL conversations and can call or message you knowing you’ll be there.
Might not be that second, but never an excuse is made not to be there.
This is something special in my book.
Endless_Night
Literotica Guru
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* * *
It occurs we have not named this phenomenon, people. Someone? Anyone?
I WANT A NAME
Points if it includes "tator tots"
SMNaughtywife
* his minx *
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So basically, does one push and demand to know why and call them on their bullshit?!
It’s tempting.
Alas, it’s also useless.
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZ33C9rz0CVEMr4h_kDjzyVsZFLYkOYK5Vew&usqp=CAU
It’s tempting.
Alas, it’s also useless.
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZ33C9rz0CVEMr4h_kDjzyVsZFLYkOYK5Vew&usqp=CAU
Endless_Night
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^^
And now I want a baby goat.
Kittens. Kids.
I think I'm going to need a bigger place.
And now I want a baby goat.
Kittens. Kids.
I think I'm going to need a bigger place.
hotwords229_A
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I’m the worst at keeping in touch with people. That’s not the same as ghosting, but it’s close.
I have this weird thing where I feel very close to people, but that doesn’t mean I need to be around them all the time. I can be standoffish, aloof and still care a great deal even though I never call or write.
Wow, I actually sound like a total dick when I hear myself say that.
The good news is that I’m upfront about my weirdness and if you choose to be my friend or acquaintance then you have agreed to the User License of Hotwords.
No refunds.
I have this weird thing where I feel very close to people, but that doesn’t mean I need to be around them all the time. I can be standoffish, aloof and still care a great deal even though I never call or write.
Wow, I actually sound like a total dick when I hear myself say that.
The good news is that I’m upfront about my weirdness and if you choose to be my friend or acquaintance then you have agreed to the User License of Hotwords.
No refunds.
Orchidea73
Adaneth, I am!
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SassySheDevil
Moody Roller Coaster
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Dribble made some good points. Nicely said.
I’ve seen a lot of times where people are upset and pull out the ole actions speak louder than words quote.
So let me get this straight, someone is here and good chance w/o their SO knowing. And one is upset at them because they’re choosing RL first?
Ya know, that SO of theirs, job, kids, responsibilities, hobbies and what have yous.
Nope, that quote really doesn’t apply here. Best one learns that right off the bat and save some passive aggressive talk. It makes you look silly, just sayin.
And if one is still are having trouble with it, you need to say it out-loud to someone so you know how illogical it sound.
Four stages of friendship development:
Stranger, Acquaintance, Casual Friend, Close Friend.
I think sometimes people get the word friend and acquaintances mixed up. A lot.
For me, 99% of the people I talk to are an acquaintance. I’m not being cold, I’m being realistic to the definition. If I don’t know your last name, where you live or work, some personal tid bits and our conversations are very generalized - that is an acquaintance. Which is perfectly fine, it’s all groovy and grand in candy land.
That’s just how I roll, I’ve let very very very few get close to me. Not that I’m a cold cheeky bitch, only because ... well, it doesn’t matter. It’s my choice and reasoning.
A close friend lives in your heart, your thoughts, in RL conversations and can call or message you knowing you’ll be there.
Might not be that second, but never an excuse is made not to be there.
This is something special in my book.
This has become a hard lesson for me. I tried to be friends with everyone I talked to
I wanted them to be part of my real life and vice versa.
I let people in. Too easily. They are all gone now. *save a couple*
I no longer have interest in letting people in that much now.
That being said. They were real friends, with real lives and families and they shared those with me, as much as I shared those with them.
SMNaughtywife
* his minx *
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Happy filthy Friday!
Let’s talk about getting sweaty, exhausted and then feeling pumped.
Exercise. Working out. Lifting weights.
Who all partakes in regular exercise?
Gym, home treadmill, outside cycling, running, yoga, ... whats your preference?
What’s your motivation and how well do you stick with your plan?
Let’s talk about getting sweaty, exhausted and then feeling pumped.
Exercise. Working out. Lifting weights.
Who all partakes in regular exercise?
Gym, home treadmill, outside cycling, running, yoga, ... whats your preference?
What’s your motivation and how well do you stick with your plan?
investor2020
Literotica Guru
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Used to be an every morning jogger, but can't do that anymore. Now its long walks twice a day with the dog on trails in the woods, up and down hills. Also have the "total gym" equipment, but it doesn't get the usage it should. Will use it 3x a week for couple months and then slack off . . . gotta do better with that, great for toning and feeling fit.
Motivation? fear of Dunlops disease . . . you know, when the belly dun lops over the belt!
Motivation? fear of Dunlops disease . . . you know, when the belly dun lops over the belt!
Endless_Night
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Ugh. I am currently suffering from a serious case of Covid Corpulence. I haven’t run in nearly a year. Not cycling. My yoga is sporadic at best.
I AM HAVING TO WEAR MY FAT JEANS
Ick.
If I’m engaged, I am an animal. If I get derailed it can be tough to reboot. Feeling good is my motivator. Both physically and mentally. Exercise helps tamp down my anxiety. It makes me feel pretty. And sexy.
Right now I feel about as sexy as a sack of mud.
I AM HAVING TO WEAR MY FAT JEANS
Ick.
If I’m engaged, I am an animal. If I get derailed it can be tough to reboot. Feeling good is my motivator. Both physically and mentally. Exercise helps tamp down my anxiety. It makes me feel pretty. And sexy.
Right now I feel about as sexy as a sack of mud.
