Litiquette VII

[Wild_Honey_66]

It’s my blessing and my curse.

Stop. Read around here:
https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/signs-highly-sensitive-man/

This whole site is really good.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

Stop. Read around here:
https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/signs-highly-sensitive-man/

This whole site is really good.

I’ve actually read this before. It helped me think about myself in a different way.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I had a therapist, once, explain that when “he walks away” it’s an auto defense mechanism to keep things from escalating.....DO NOT FOLLOW.

Good advice!

Shitty first draft, kind of like the story you've concocted that got you angry that probably isn't what actually happened, but it's good to get it out and unpack it. I read a lot of Brene Brown at some point in my life, it's a term she uses... that apparently I do too.

Ooo, I like it.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Ooo, I like it.

She's great. I keep a few of her quotes on my phone/around my desk just in case I need a reminder.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I’ve actually read this before. It helped me think about myself in a different way.

Awesome!
Have you checked out any of Elaine Aron's stuff? She's got a whole series of books and workbooks.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

She's great. I keep a few of her quotes on my phone/around my desk just in case I need a reminder.

I've heard her name but I don't know who she is. I'll have to look her up.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

Awesome!
Have you checked out any of Elaine Aron's stuff? She's got a whole series of books and workbooks.

Never read the books, but I’m familiar for sure.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I’m not moody, kinda feel like I’m an odd ball here.
High-five Suz, we might be personality clones.

I hang out in the happy chill zone 99% of the time. Not many things ruffle my feathers, a rock star at shrugging a lot of everything off. Some I probably shouldn’t, but it makes my life easier. So I tell myself.

I’ll admit to sometimes getting quiet. I’m either in my funky art zone world or something is bothering me. Almost always it’s some hocus-pocus trivial BS, I have a 30 second pity party and move on.
If I’m not smiling, that’s a tried and true sign that something is off.
Also, an aloof and generic version of me is not a good sign either.

I’ll speak up when I want, absolutely. I don’t need to raise my voice much for anyone to know mama bear isn’t happy.
Silence is sometimes my best response. Guilty.

 

[L3gacy]

That's what I take too! It definitely helps a lot.

Yea. It does wonders. I wish I was even keeled but I’m not.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

.......

I’m truly wondering now if midwesterners have figured some shit out that the rest of us could learn from... ???

Or are us left and right coast babies just doomed to a legacy of genetic lunacy?

We are simply awesome.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

We are simply awesome.

Midwestern chicks......they got that....

 

[SassySheDevil]

Sometimes the personality differences in friends is what helps keep you grounded as friends though. Same as other relationships. My husband and I work because we are opposite in many things. We meet somewhere in the middle.

I seek out differences sometimes also. Sometimes I need friends who are more grounded. Other times I appreciate those who understand my moodiness. I think that's one benefit of different friendships. We need someone for different reasons.

When I am blah and don't feel like talking. That doesn't mean I don't want to talk to anyone. It often means I only want to talk to those who understand, or are in some way going to help me work through my mood faster.

Sometimes I want someone to tell me to snap the fuck out of it, and other times, I want someone to just ride it out with me.

 

[Suz_anne]

I’m not moody, kinda feel like I’m an odd ball here.
High-five Suz, we might be personality clones.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/67a3de6319ac600a44ee76b9b0e40c81/e10bbdfb43eb7a76-7f/s640x960/ebb8488c667791fabeb12984166d9788f1cf4792.gifv

Y'all are some moody mf'ers, huh? And some Irish to boot. Let's go drink some Guinness and chase leprechauns. Who can be moody whilst chasing leprechauns?

 

[Trekka]

Inspired by Sassy’s post above...

Do opposites really attract??

Does the attraction last and, if so, does being different contribute to the longevity of the relationship, do ya think?
Does it matter if it’s a romantic versus friend versus family, work, etc relationship?
Is it a complimentary skill set that dovetails nicely or two bulls from different worlds locking horns?
Do you tend to attract people who are like you? Or different?

 

[Orchidea73]

If my guy and I differ politically, I like someone who can talk it out with me, and eventually admit I’m right.

Who do i tend to attract? I attract everyone.

LMAO!

You dork.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Inspired by Sassy’s post above...

Do opposites really attract??

Does the attraction last and, if so, does being different contribute to the longevity of the relationship, do ya think?
Does it matter if it’s a romantic versus friend versus family, work, etc relationship?
Is it a complimentary skill set that dovetails nicely or two bulls from different worlds locking horns?
Do you tend to attract people who are like you? Or different?

I like my friends and friendly acquaintances to be all over the map, I want to experience life from both sides of the coin. I prefer my co-workers to lean more even-tempered than not, I don't want to have to worry about drama while I'm trying to pay my bills. I need my long term partners to be different, but complimentary, and I need them to be decidedly masculine. Otherwise I have a hard time not staging a coup.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

Inspired by Sassy’s post above...

Do opposites really attract??

Does the attraction last and, if so, does being different contribute to the longevity of the relationship, do ya think?
Does it matter if it’s a romantic versus friend versus family, work, etc relationship?
Is it a complimentary skill set that dovetails nicely or two bulls from different worlds locking horns?
Do you tend to attract people who are like you? Or different?

Opposites CAN attract. Do they? Depends on just how opposite. I welcome all in both friendships and romantic interactions. I like discussing differences and seeking to understand. That’s fun. And it grows me. Makes me better.

Who do I attract? Right now? Nobody.

 

[QuietCanadian]

I don't find there is a specific opposite or alike that attracts me to someone, I find that both can attract me and I've had long friendships with both and I prefer it that way, I think. If everyone thought exactly the same as me 1) that's no fun, who will challenge my thought process, and 2) we'd all be fucked. Yikes.

I find the most difficult is usually how people evolve. We don't stay the same, we all evolve in our thoughts on a lot of things, I'm nowhere near the same person I was 15 years ago. We evolve in different ways and different rates, so someone who thought just like me then could think completely differently than me now. Potentially they've evolved quicker, slower, or just in a different direction. That could do a lot of things to attraction, good or bad, but it could change the whole opposites or alike attracting.

Who do I attract? Haha, you're funny, Trekka.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

But, don’t test me. Because I will take over.

This is fun for me with the right person, as long as he can hold his own in other areas.

In an ideal fantasy world, I'd have one of each.

 

[Trekka]

This is fun for me with the right person, as long as he can hold his own in other areas.

In an ideal fantasy world, I'd have one of each.

Who says you can’t have one of each?!
Again, I return to the concept of Brother-Husbands.

Funny how the opposites-attract convo goes to D/s.
I like it.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Inspired by Sassy’s post above...

Do opposites really attract??

Does the attraction last and, if so, does being different contribute to the longevity of the relationship, do ya think?
Does it matter if it’s a romantic versus friend versus family, work, etc relationship?
Is it a complimentary skill set that dovetails nicely or two bulls from different worlds locking horns?
Do you tend to attract people who are like you? Or different?

To add to what I said. I also think romantic relationships are slightly different than friendships in the need to be more alike.

You will spend the rest of your life (or that's the idea when you marry) with that person. So too many differences can be problematic. Raising kids, Religion, Politics, Family values etc.

My friends don't have to agree with my parenting style, cause I don't live with them. They don't help shape my kids.

My friends don't have to agree with me on Politics or religion (which I rarely talk about) because.. Well. Because that. I rarely talk about them.
Only some subjects get me riled up.. Abortion/gay rights etc. So I tend to be careful discussing those with friends.

But there are also subjects that I need female perspective on.. In that sense, I can't go to my husband. So I look to my friends. But he is the one who helps me shape my future. So I'm grateful that we've met in the middle so often and are both open minded to discuss everything.

Friends... You have the mixture of too nice (sweet)

"Do these pants make me look fat??" "OMG YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!"

Or the bluntly honest ones "yes!" (and yes I just pictured Fara)

I don't want to hear that all the time. I'm a sensitive fucking person. But there are times I need that truth. So I always make sure the blunt one/honest one is nearby

Husband.. "Oh yes honey, it's perfect, you look beautiful" - So what if my fat roll is hanging out over top of the pants...

 

[tnman03]

I tend to surround myself with people that share the same values, but the personality types are diverse. That goes for the family members I'm closest with, friendships, and partners.

I'm partly this way but I also enjoy having sarcastic, irrepressible friends in the mix who while disagreeable as hell make me think. But overall in the long term SO side of things, there needs to be enough commonality to help meld the differences into one. As for a short term fling, with all its passion, the more different the better because those sexcapades run their course all too quickly.

 

[SassySheDevil]

True, but I would suggest an alternative, like, yes, not great, but you know, i really like when you wear stuff like... and I’d tell you to keep your hair in braids, because it’s adorable.

I tend to let my friends know when I think they are beautiful. Because they are.

Oh I know. Trust me. It was a good thing. I always appreciated your honesty. It was hard to take sometimes. But I always appreciated it.

 

[Trekka]

Got here as soon as I could.
Better late than never.
Speaking of better.

"Better living through chemistry..."

So many options. Psych meds. Hormones. Nutritional supplements. Performance enhancers. Plastic surgery. Cough and cold relief, even.

Better sleep, calm down, perk up, bulk up, breathe easy, stay awake, look younger, feel better....

Pills, drinks, sprays, creams, lozenges, powders, teas, tinctures, and procedures...

Where do you fall on the "better living through chemistry" spectrum?

Are you 100% intervention free? Balls to the wall, playing naked, no additives? Are you all for modern innovation in the human body space? Try it out and see? Throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks?

 

[QuietCanadian]

Am I in substantial pain? Give me all the pain medications, please. All of them.

I'm probably too far down the using chemicals to feel better spectrum, but I also don't love doing that (unless I'm in pain, which I suppose I don't love, I am just not willing to let it pass without trying some relief.) Likely the same for allergies, but they get the same way where it's often to a point where I'd kill someone for a Claritin.

I do breathing exercises for anxiousness and I certainly try to be active for my own head space, so I guess there I am less chemical based. I'm probably just further down from middle of the road overall though. Which is probably not great, but oh well. Imma go take an Advil.