Litiquette VII

[DarkSimian]

See?
We’re getting better.

It all makes sense now, when you tell me to go fuck myself

 

[DarkSimian]

All part of the plan.

I'm a devious fucker, ain't

 

[Trekka]

Happy Saturday.

I’m gonna barrow Sassy’s tag line today.
(and no clue is she’s moody, always seems sweet to me.)

Who here is guilty of being a moody roller coaster?
What triggers it, too much of something or not enough of this or that?
Are you one to share your lovely mood with others or keep the majority of it to yourself?
And finally do you apologize or shrug it off - as it’s part of life, personality or what ever feels convenient at the time?

I wanna wrestle Sassy for that tagline

So everyone has feelings, right? Good n bad ones? Middle of the road ones? Ups n downs. That's life.

Sometimes my brain does this funny thing in concert with my body: it shoots these chemicals all over the damn place and before ya know it? I'm blowing my stack/sobbing/panicking about something on Friday that two Mondays ago wouldn't have bothered me a bit.

So, there's that. Hormones trigger it. For. Fucking. Sure.

And then there's the long game... the Big Things that come and lie down unexpectedly at our feet and take Time to Process and Heal From. Those things, I think? I handle with a decent amount of strength and grace. I get normal mad, normal sad, normal scared... but I cope.

The real fireworks show up when one of those Long Game Issues (or, hell, several of them) rise up from their murky depths like a many headed Hydra during times of hormonal flux.

I exercise. I eat healthy. I don't drink hardly at all. I don't do drugs. I take vitamins. I pray. I have a social support network. I get good sleep.

I DO ALL THE THINGS. They help. Ish.

I also wanna point out that it's *totally normal* to have a negative attention bias and ruminate more on bad things -- and when good things happen they seem fleeting. That's a biological remnant of our brains prioritizing bad shit over good shit: back in the day it was waaaay more important to remember which cave you got attacked by a bear in, versus that nice sunset you saw the other night.

So, gratitude lists! Journaling! Consciously making an intentional effort to focus on the good stuff. I do that too. Otherwise, I obsess about bears way too much.

I think mood disorders bestow some gifts upon those who have them as well. I find it makes me more sympathetic. It makes me more alert and aware, proactive, thorough, I work pretty hard because if I don't treat my body right my mind goes to hell in a handbasket quickly... it's not all bad.

And yeah, I say sorry a lot. I do a lot of after-the-fact repair jobs.



TLDR: I'm moody af, it's biological, I do what I can, and yes, I am sorry. I wish it were different.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Happy Saturday.

I’m gonna barrow Sassy’s tag line today.
(and no clue is she’s moody, always seems sweet to me.)

Who here is guilty of being a moody roller coaster?
What triggers it, too much of something or not enough of this or that?
Are you one to share your lovely mood with others or keep the majority of it to yourself?
And finally do you apologize or shrug it off - as it’s part of life, personality or what ever feels convenient at the time?

Hunger and waking up. I can get pretty hangry and I'm not the most pleasant first thing in the morning. I'm not unpleasant, I am just really quiet and need a few minutes... enh maybe more... to get going and be pleasant. If you don't know it about me, I'll apologize, probably even warn you. The hangry thing I recognize it coming, so I can usually pretend to be happy for the time needed.

Actual "moodiness"? Ya. My chemicals misfire or get out of balance often enough. I will apologize if I'm rude to you through it or if I feel like I've gone into a shell and seemingly pushed you away (I haven't, that's just my self defense kicking in and I get quiet), but I won't apologize for the things I'm feeling. It happens, it's normal, I have days where I'm not myself. If I had a toothache, I wouldn't think twice about not feeling bad for having one. I guess I hesitate to call that moodiness, but that's the closest thing I am to being up and down. I am generally pretty much the same, even keel, somewhat personable otherwise. If I feel someone's pissed me off, I'll get quiet but usually try to figure out why it has pissed me off and see if it's just me reacting to something that didn't really happen.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Happy Saturday.

I’m gonna barrow Sassy’s tag line today.
(and no clue is she’s moody, always seems sweet to me.)

Who here is guilty of being a moody roller coaster?
What triggers it, too much of something or not enough of this or that?
Are you one to share your lovely mood with others or keep the majority of it to yourself?
And finally do you apologize or shrug it off - as it’s part of life, personality or what ever feels convenient at the time?

It always fits. I'm moody as fuck. One minute I'm happy. The next I'm cranky. I can swing pretty fast and pretty obnoxiously.

Like Trekka s aid. I'm aware that most of it is hormones.

Like others have mentioned. I've stopped apologizing. But I do warn people now.
"If you want the good, you have to take the bad." I'm too old to constantly worry about who else I have to make feel better if I'm having a moment. I tell people up front that I'm prone to moods and if I get in one, to not take it personally.
I will however apologize when I'm abnormally bitchy and they didn't deserve it.

I push people away when I'm overwhelmed and those who've deemed me worth it, know I always come back. Those who've been smart enough to figure me out don't let me push too hard and I love them for it.

I love and care fiercely, So I guess that helps balance the moods

I wanna wrestle Sassy for that tagline

Whoo hoooo Sounds fun!

So everyone has feelings, right? Good n bad ones? Middle of the road ones? Ups n downs. That's life.

Sometimes my brain does this funny thing in concert with my body: it shoots these chemicals all over the damn place and before ya know it? I'm blowing my stack/sobbing/panicking about something on Friday that two Mondays ago wouldn't have bothered me a bit.

So, there's that. Hormones trigger it. For. Fucking. Sure.

And then there's the long game... the Big Things that come and lie down unexpectedly at our feet and take Time to Process and Heal From. Those things, I think? I handle with a decent amount of strength and grace. I get normal mad, normal sad, normal scared... but I cope.

The real fireworks show up when one of those Long Game Issues (or, hell, several of them) rise up from their murky depths like a many headed Hydra during times of hormonal flux.

I exercise. I eat healthy. I don't drink hardly at all. I don't do drugs. I take vitamins. I pray. I have a social support network. I get good sleep.

I DO ALL THE THINGS. They help. Ish.

I also wanna point out that it's *totally normal* to have a negative attention bias and ruminate more on bad things -- and when good things happen they seem fleeting. That's a biological remnant of our brains prioritizing bad shit over good shit: back in the day it was waaaay more important to remember which cave you got attacked by a bear in, versus that nice sunset you saw the other night.

So, gratitude lists! Journaling! Consciously making an intentional effort to focus on the good stuff. I do that too. Otherwise, I obsess about bears way too much.

I think mood disorders bestow some gifts upon those who have them as well. I find it makes me more sympathetic. It makes me more alert and aware, proactive, thorough, I work pretty hard because if I don't treat my body right my mind goes to hell in a handbasket quickly... it's not all bad.

And yeah, I say sorry a lot. I do a lot of after-the-fact repair jobs.



TLDR: I'm moody af, it's biological, I do what I can, and yes, I am sorry. I wish it were different.

I love this.

 

[Suz_anne]

I'm pretty even keeled - moody is not my thing.

And since a few people mentioned genetic connections, that makes sense to me. Most of my family is even keeled, too. I come from logical, non-confrontational, mind your business Midwestern stock. That's how I roll about 99.5% of the time.

It has its upsides and downsides. The biggest downside is if I shrug things off too much - even when I know it is bugging me at least a little bit - I may blow up about the most random, not at all related thing. That's when apologies are needed.

Fortunately, that doesn't happen often because I've learned to recognize the signs earlier.

I have a difficult time relating to people who are ruled by their emotions. I mean, I understand that we're all different and that's actually a really cool thing. I would just be exhausted by so many feelings.

I know I sound like Spock and it's not as bad as all that. I'm not easily hurt or angered - but it does happen occasionally. If I am sad, it is usually for a really valid reason and not a general malaise.

I laugh a lot, appreciate what I have, find joy in helping when I can. I smoke weed and drink some (not at the same time), but it isn't to dull any feelings. I just like getting high.

 

[Trekka]

It always fits. I'm moody as fuck. One minute I'm happy. The next I'm cranky. I can swing pretty fast and pretty obnoxiously.

Like Trekka s aid. I'm aware that most of it is hormones.

Like others have mentioned. I've stopped apologizing. But I do warn people now.
"If you want the good, you have to take the bad." I'm too old to constantly worry about who else I have to make feel better if I'm having a moment. I tell people up front that I'm prone to moods and if I get in one, to not take it personally.
I will however apologize when I'm abnormally bitchy and they didn't deserve it.

I push people away when I'm overwhelmed and those who've deemed me worth it, know I always come back. Those who've been smart enough to figure me out don't let me push too hard and I love them for it.

I love and care fiercely, So I guess that helps balance the moods

Whoo hoooo Sounds fun!

I love this.

I love ^^this.
I think we are sisters from another mister.

Along the lines of taking the good with the bad — I’ve wondered if my hormonal mood swings make me... uhhh... well there’s an upside to them: an utterly insatiable sex drive. On days 6-19 only.

Fingers crossed it makes up for the PMS.

I'm pretty even keeled - moody is not my thing.

And since a few people mentioned genetic connections, that makes sense to me. Most of my family is even keeled, too. I come from logical, non-confrontational, mind your business Midwestern stock. That's how I roll about 99.5% of the time.

It has its upsides and downsides. The biggest downside is if I shrug things off too much - even when I know it is bugging me at least a little bit - I may blow up about the most random, not at all related thing. That's when apologies are needed.

Fortunately, that doesn't happen often because I've learned to recognize the signs earlier.

I have a difficult time relating to people who are ruled by their emotions. I mean, I understand that we're all different and that's actually a really cool thing. I would just be exhausted by so many feelings.

I know I sound like Spock and it's not as bad as all that. I'm not easily hurt or angered - but it does happen occasionally. If I am sad, it is usually for a really valid reason and not a general malaise.

I laugh a lot, appreciate what I have, find joy in helping when I can. I smoke weed and drink some (not at the same time), but it isn't to dull any feelings. I just like getting high.

I’m truly wondering now if midwesterners have figured some shit out that the rest of us could learn from... ???

Or are us left and right coast babies just doomed to a legacy of genetic lunacy?

Is it because we are closer to the ocean? We’re more affected by the tides, yes? The moon? Is it the earths magnetic field?!

I’m not ruled by my emotions all the time. Just sometimes. And it is, indeed,
exhausting. It’s also like a piñata of multicolored trinkets exploding from time to time. Sometimes it’s fun and exciting and woooo party time and you’re like “hell yes, this is some damn good candy!” And sometimes it scares the shit outta you and makes you grab the bat and start swinging and then you cry because it’s just a buncha Dots and Smarties.

 

[Suz_anne]

I’m truly wondering now if midwesterners have figured some shit out that the rest of us could learn from... ???

Or are us left and right coast babies just doomed to a legacy of genetic lunacy?

Is it because we are closer to the ocean? We’re more affected by the tides, yes? The moon? Is it the earths magnetic field?!

I’m not ruled by my emotions all the time. Just sometimes. And it is, indeed,
exhausting. It’s also like a piñata of multicolored trinkets exploding from time to time. Sometimes it’s fun and exciting and woooo party time and you’re like “hell yes, this is some damn good candy!” And sometimes it scares the shit outta you and makes you grab the bat and start swinging and then you cry because it’s just a buncha Dots and Smarties.

I love all the colors of your rainbow.

And I think the fact that we're friends and have a lot of common ground is what's cool about us all being different. It's okay to be influenced by emotions - I may not always relate to or understand it, but that doesn't mean it is wrong. What I have more of a problem with are people who don't ever try to reel it in - even if it becomes clearly destructive.

I fucking hate Dots. But I'll take allllllllll the Smarties.

Edited to add: I'm a German/Irish girl. I will say that the Irish side of the family is waaaaaaaay crazier (I.e. more jail time) than the German side. So I think the genetics thing is real.

 

[Trekka]

Who even invented Dots and why?!

 

[Trekka]

Bahahaha Suz— except I’m German and Irish too

 

[Suz_anne]

Bahahaha Suz— except I’m German and Irish too

Do you identify more with the Irish side or the German side?

I don't get mad that often but when I do, I really lose it. I have a temper and it takes me a loooong time to settle down. I don't want anyone near me and I don't want help. I just want to be left alone until I work it out.

*makes note not to mess with PissedOffBritches*

 

[SassySheDevil]

I'm pretty even keeled - moody is not my thing.

And since a few people mentioned genetic connections, that makes sense to me. Most of my family is even keeled, too. I come from logical, non-confrontational, mind your business Midwestern stock. That's how I roll about 99.5% of the time.

It has its upsides and downsides. The biggest downside is if I shrug things off too much - even when I know it is bugging me at least a little bit - I may blow up about the most random, not at all related thing. That's when apologies are needed.

Fortunately, that doesn't happen often because I've learned to recognize the signs earlier.

I have a difficult time relating to people who are ruled by their emotions. I mean, I understand that we're all different and that's actually a really cool thing. I would just be exhausted by so many feelings.

I know I sound like Spock and it's not as bad as all that. I'm not easily hurt or angered - but it does happen occasionally. If I am sad, it is usually for a really valid reason and not a general malaise.

I laugh a lot, appreciate what I have, find joy in helping when I can. I smoke weed and drink some (not at the same time), but it isn't to dull any feelings. I just like getting high.

For this, I'm envious. I wish I had better control/felt less.

I love ^^this.
I think we are sisters from another mister.

Along the lines of taking the good with the bad — I’ve wondered if my hormonal mood swings make me... uhhh... well there’s an upside to them: an utterly insatiable sex drive. On days 6-19 only.

Fingers crossed it makes up for the PMS.



I’m truly wondering now if midwesterners have figured some shit out that the rest of us could learn from... ???

Or are us left and right coast babies just doomed to a legacy of genetic lunacy?

Is it because we are closer to the ocean? We’re more affected by the tides, yes? The moon? Is it the earths magnetic field?!

I’m not ruled by my emotions all the time. Just sometimes. And it is, indeed,
exhausting. It’s also like a piñata of multicolored trinkets exploding from time to time. Sometimes it’s fun and exciting and woooo party time and you’re like “hell yes, this is some damn good candy!” And sometimes it scares the shit outta you and makes you grab the bat and start swinging and then you cry because it’s just a buncha Dots and Smarties.

LOL well. I think that would ring true of me.. Sex drive wise.

I love your descriptions.

Yes.. Coastal and hormones work for me!!

(luckily, I don't really PMS in the way many women do) I'm just naturally bitchy

I love all the colors of your rainbow.



Edited to add: I'm a German/Irish girl. I will say that the Irish side of the family is waaaaaaaay crazier (I.e. more jail time) than the German side. So I think the genetics thing is real.

I'm Irish, but not German.. So.... Lets blame the Germans for being even tempered lol
The Crazy fits. - Irish

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I'm not moody.

I'm sensitive. And responsive. And I've inherited mental health stuff from both sides of my family, which is a different thing altogether.

Nothing triggers it, I came hard-wired this way.

I do pull away when I'm upset because I'll recover my footing faster if I can decrease the amount of stimulation I'm experiencing.

I don't apologize for having depression or for being highly sensitive, but of course I apologize if I say or do something ill-advised, whatever the reason. I'm most likely to say something I'll regret when I'm angry, so I try to keep that shit locked down tight and deal with it in private.

 

[Trekka]

I'm not moody.

I'm sensitive. And responsive. And I've inherited mental health stuff from both sides of my family, which is a different thing altogether.

Nothing triggers it, I came hard-wired this way.

I do pull away when I'm upset because I'll recover my footing faster if I can decrease the amount of stimulation I'm experiencing.

I don't apologize for having depression or for being highly sensitive, but of course I apologize if I say or do something ill-advised, whatever the reason. I'm most likely to say something I'll regret when I'm angry, so I try to keep that shit locked down tight and deal with it in private.

*Lightbulb moment*

I’ve never thought about it this way. I absolutely do the same thing, and, apparently, for the same reason.

I cannot calm down in front of someone. Ever try to take a break from a heated moment and they follow you? Insist upon pressing the issue or refuse to let you go cool down? —> I. Flip. Out.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

I’m an emotional man. Horribly. Rejection hurts 3 times worse. I feel loneliness and isolation deeper than most. The good feels great. Some call it moody, I just call it being aware. So I protect myself by pulling away, or going dark. It gives me a moment to breathe and take stock of myself and how my emotions are speaking to me.

 

[L3gacy]

*Lightbulb moment*

I’ve never thought about it this way. I absolutely do the same thing, and, apparently, for the same reason.

I cannot calm down in front of someone. Ever try to take a break from a heated moment and they follow you? Insist upon pressing the issue or refuse to let you go cool down? —> I. Flip. Out.

Yes, I’ve had that happen. The following. It never ends well

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

When I finally talked to my doctor... he put me on Wellbutrin. It has helped a ton, it allows me the few seconds I need to observe my feelings and see if the situation matches what I’m feeling. That in turn gives me time to change how I feel and “let go” of the irritation. 3 months now and things have been better than in many years

Good news!

Sex helps.

It does! Wish I were getting some.

My mood seems to have three settings - meh, sad and angry... Happy moments still happen, though they feel fleeting.

Same.

I also wanna point out that it's *totally normal* to have a negative attention bias and ruminate more on bad things -- and when good things happen they seem fleeting. That's a biological remnant of our brains prioritizing bad shit over good shit: back in the day it was waaaay more important to remember which cave you got attacked by a bear in, versus that nice sunset you saw the other night.

I have never heard this before! What a relief.

Um, happy Saturday?

LOL!

I would just be exhausted by so many feelings.

It definitely can be exhausting. Becoming more self-aware helps. Setting boundaries helps. Taking meds helps. Having realistic expectations helps. And letting go of the guilt that is often associated with mental health issues or being 'too sensitive' helps.

 

[QuietCanadian]

I cannot calm down in front of someone. Ever try to take a break from a heated moment and they follow you? Insist upon pressing the issue or refuse to let you go cool down? —> I. Flip. Out.

If someone has gotten me angry or I'm in a position where I am, no, do not come with me. I need a minute for my own sanity (and job security if I'm at work.)

It doesn't happen often, but this is where I really need to write my SFD and take a minute to unpack why I'm feeling as upset as I am. Often times it's manufactured in my mind... sometimes it's not though. Sometimes people are shitty.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This is actually a really good description for my own self. Not moody, but sensitive. Outwardly I'm actually pretty chill. Internally there's stuff going on.

I knew that, actually. . I was going to say something later on.

*Lightbulb moment*

I’ve never thought about it this way. I absolutely do the same thing, and, apparently, for the same reason.

Yep! More breaks, and sooner, helps me stay on top of things and allows me to spend more time engaged and less time doing damage control.

I’m an emotional man. Horribly. Rejection hurts 3 times worse. I feel loneliness and isolation deeper than most. The good feels great. Some call it moody, I just call it being aware. So I protect myself by pulling away, or going dark. It gives me a moment to breathe and take stock of myself and how my emotions are speaking to me.

I've always thought you were highly sensitive, too.

I cannot calm down in front of someone. Ever try to take a break from a heated moment and they follow you? Insist upon pressing the issue or refuse to let you go cool down? —> I. Flip. Out.

Yes, I’ve had that happen. The following. It never ends well

I had an ex who believed that my request for breaks to process things was my way of avoiding the difficult conversations. I was never able to convince him otherwise.

 

[QuietCanadian]

And letting go of the guilt that is often associated with mental health issues or being 'too sensitive' helps.

This is the hardest, but it's true.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

If someone has gotten me angry or I'm in a position where I am, no, do not come with me. I need a minute for my own sanity (and job security if I'm at work.)

It doesn't happen often, but this is where I really need to write my SFD and take a minute to unpack why I'm feeling as upset as I am. Often times it's manufactured in my mind... sometimes it's not though. Sometimes people are shitty.

What's an SFD?

Sometimes they are.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

I knew that, actually. . I was going to say something later on.



Yep! More breaks, and sooner, helps me stay on top of things and allows me to spend more time engaged and less time doing damage control.



I've always thought you were highly sensitive, too.


I had an ex who believed that my request for breaks to process things was my way of avoiding the difficult conversations. I was never able to convince him otherwise.

It’s my blessing and my curse.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This is the hardest, but it's true.

Here's an instance in which getting angry actually helped!

 

[L3gacy]

I knew that, actually. . I was going to say something later on.



Yep! More breaks, and sooner, helps me stay on top of things and allows me to spend more time engaged and less time doing damage control.



I've always thought you were highly sensitive, too.





I had an ex who believed that my request for breaks to process things was my way of avoiding the difficult conversations. I was never able to convince him otherwise.

I had a therapist, once, explain that when “he walks away” it’s an auto defense mechanism to keep things from escalating.....DO NOT FOLLOW.

 

[QuietCanadian]

What's an SFD?

Sometimes they are.

Shitty first draft, kind of like the story you've concocted that got you angry that probably isn't what actually happened, but it's good to get it out and unpack it. I read a lot of Brene Brown at some point in my life, it's a term she uses... that apparently I do too.