Litiquette VII

[Trekka]

I'm gonna say that “Thank You” is the most underappreciated, under-used and forgotten two words on this planet.

Are you guilty of forgetting to use this response when it’s deemed appropriate?
Or are you the opposite and it’s embedded deep- second nature rolling off your lips.
Guess we should throw in some grey, sometimes you remember, other times you don’t.
And when is it too late to say thank you, or is it ever?

So I interpreted this question as follows:

Do you hand out pleases and thank yous and other pleasantries as hollow platitudes?

*or*

Do you take time to think about, experience, feel, and show gratitude?

I do both. Sure, sometimes it's reflexive, it's good social skills, it's the nice thing to do, it's expected of me, it's transactional...

But I also try to let people know I appreciate them--with both words and actions. I try to spend some time every day focusing on gratitude.

It's difficult sometimes to hit the pause button, say or do something beyond a 'thank you' to show someone I appreciate them, whilst keeping all the plates spinning, but it's important.

I don't want someone to feel like I take them for granted, if I can help it.

So, I think politeness can wax and wane depending upon where I am, who I'm with, what's going on in the background... but experiencing, sharing, and showing gratitude is a bit more profound -- and when I'm consistently practicing an attitude of gratitude, life is much, much sweeter.

And the joy is in the giving. But it's nice to be on the receiving end, too. It's all about the reciprocity. That's the Good Stuff.

 

[Endless_Night]

Deeply ingrained. With a ma'am or sir thrown in for good measure. Though, these days I try to curtail that little habit. For one, it's not entirely pc to attach gender.

(I will admit I don't really get that, but why not be polite?)

For another, honestly, these days I can't always tell. Something I've learned to hard way on one or two occasions. Eesh.

 

[Endless_Night]

Wow. This is just such an alien concept. I am going to have to give it try.

*puts it on to do list*

Thank you, ladies.

Thick for me. I'm thinking Sorrento lemons, for example. They are sweet too.
The best lemons, IMO, and they make the best Limoncello too.

<pic snip >

All of the above. It's all good to me.

 

[Trekka]

Lol that OJ topic had legs!

 

[Trekka]

So....

We try to keep this e-stuff in perspective.
We try to keep it at e-arm’s length.
We try not to get in too e-deep.

But, shit e-happens.

So, what do you do when your e-heart hurts?

 

[tnman03]

So....

We try to keep this e-stuff in perspective.
We try to keep it at e-arm’s length.
We try not to get in too e-deep.

But, shit e-happens.

So, what do you do when your e-heart hurts?

Oh wow. Yeah, when the feels come into the equation it’s easy to get heartstrings tugged on. Perhaps overall, you just have to cope with what’s hurting until it’s either resolved or time & distance provides the fix.

This was a good question. I’m looking forward to other responses.

 

[Orchidea73]

Perhaps overall, you just have to cope with what’s hurting until it’s either resolved or time & distance provides the fix.

This. Fake until you make it, if need be. Keep yourself occupied with things that gives you pleasure. It can be anything, like: Walking, dancing, travel would be great. Go out as much as you can with your friends. This also could be the right time to do something new that you always wanted to do but kept postponing it for whatever reason.

 

[The_gladiator]

Deeply ingrained. With a ma'am or sir thrown in for good measure. Though, these days I try to curtail that little habit. For one, it's not entirely pc to attach gender.

(I will admit I don't really get that, but why not be polite?)

For another, honestly, these days I can't always tell. Something I've learned to hard way on one or two occasions. Eesh.

If we could get away from the attaching ma’am/sir to things I would be all for that, the number of times a week I am called ma’am on the phone is staggering and gets annoying especially when I try to correct people and they still persist in calling me ma’am, I’m like no, it’s sir. I remember one repair guy finally coming to my house and after a while was like who was that I was talking to on the phone. I said me, he said you let me call you ma’am all day? I said I tried to correct you once you didn’t listen, I gave up.

But to answer the htank you question I thank people for everything my mother told me to say thank you until I was 20 and still would if I hesitated for a beat too long this day. But it has served me well as in my real world I need a lot more help than the average person, gratitude goes a long way.

I will get to today’s question later.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

So....

We try to keep this e-stuff in perspective.
We try to keep it at e-arm’s length.
We try not to get in too e-deep.

But, shit e-happens.

So, what do you do when your e-heart hurts?

I think you first need to acknowledge it hurts because we’re humans- not robots or aliens and we have feelings and emotions. The good, bad and ugly - it’s all there.
A few tears is okay, give yourself 5 mins to cry. No more than 10 mins.

Acceptance it because it hurts. Let’s keep it real and not try and cover it up and pretend it’s “really just nothing.” It is something.

Ignore that little demon that makes you feel like shit, whispering what you’ve done or said wrong. Actually flick the little chump off your shoulder and step on it.

And then you push the heap of e-feelings into an e-garbage bag.
Drive your e-black and orange McLaren to the e-dump and toss it right on in.
You’ll smile, because you’ll see other e-garbage bags right there next to yours, some bigger and others smaller.
And then you drop off your e-McLaren to hop into your real car. Grab a coffee, turn up the music and smile. Smile fucken big.
Because!!
You’re heading home to your real home,
to kiss your real SO,
to hear the chaos of your real beautiful life,
remembering the real everything of what counts the most,
to call your real friends and laugh,
because real life and love is really the absolute best.

 

[parker77]

damn, i can't answer this question. i took a dull knife, cut out my e-heart and disposed of it a while ago. i hope it doesn't regenerate. it serves no valuable purpose.

 

[Orchidea73]

damn, i can't answer this question. i took a dull knife, cut out my e-heart and disposed of it a while ago. i hope it doesn't regenerate. it serves no valuable purpose.

I agree with this. And if it does, it's very rare.

 

[tnman03]

damn, i can't answer this question. i took a dull knife, cut out my e-heart and disposed of it a while ago. i hope it doesn't regenerate. it serves no valuable purpose.

I agree with this. And if it does, it's very rare.

Ah...e-hearts all stabbed and cut out with steely knives....but the beast still lives... sometimes e-life is too much like the Hotel California for sure.

 

[Orchidea73]

Ah...e-hearts all stabbed and cut out with steely knives....but the beast still lives... sometimes e-life is too much like the Hotel California for sure.

Ahahaha Hotel California. Good one. lol

Actually, I've had good experience myself. Two serious and long standing relationships born on internet. However, I recognise that it's difficult and not something that happens often. Internet it's quite a meat market and superficial when it comes to relationships.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Wow. This is just such an alien concept. I am going to have to give it try.

*puts it on to do list*

Thank you, ladies.

You might not like it at first. I feel like because I started when I was young. It just became a taste I enjoy.
But some peels taste better to me than others. So you may have to experiment.

 

[SassySheDevil]

So....

We try to keep this e-stuff in perspective.
We try to keep it at e-arm’s length.
We try not to get in too e-deep.

But, shit e-happens.

So, what do you do when your e-heart hurts?

My e-heart is way too sensitive. Well. Technically, all of me is. I feel things too deeply. I give too much. I jump in too deep. I get attached easily. I love with all I have. I care too much. I'm a mess.

I've always treated this (and any other online place I've been a part of) as real life. Real friends, real emotions, real feelings. I don't want fake friends, or just simple anonymous interactions.
But, by doing that. By jumping in so hard and fast. I've gotten hurt a lot. I've hurt others also.

So now, I rarely let myself get close to anyone, and I keep it simple. Most of my interactions are public. I don't want the closeness that comes from taking things to PM/messengers. I don't like to open my heart anymore. I've seen what happens w hen you allow yourself to get vulnerable, and since I am not capable of caring less, It's just easier to close myself off.

 

[LizVegas79]

So....

We try to keep this e-stuff in perspective.
We try to keep it at e-arm’s length.
We try not to get in too e-deep.

But, shit e-happens.

So, what do you do when your e-heart hurts?

I do what I did when I was younger in the RW, I bail.

It usually eats at me for a few days until I force myself to re-focus on the awesome real people in my life. That usually gives me the desire to forgive and forget and let the e-shit that e-happens e-go.

Ego, hmmm? Healing my e-heart probably involves healing my ego. Which is how we often heal ourselves when we get hurt in the real world too, isn't it? Interesting.

Being e-deep when I'm at work or laying awake in bed has become a little bit more familiar, and even comfortable, over these past few months. Not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. But for me right now, I know Lit has felt more normal than my "real" world.

It's become more my secret place to escape, than my dirty little secret like it was before. So, now my e-heart is more vulnerable and so maybe, when it e-hurts from now on I need to consider not bailing.

I am so bringing up this conversation at work tonight!

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I think feeling can only live in the e-world for so long. And they slowly and surely drift into the real world. Thats the beauty of time and trust’s hand in life.
It’s how you balance it all out. Coexist between the two.
Brain and heart together, big and strong enough to know what’s what.
Acknowledgment it’s there and accepting instead of trying to run from it all. Once you get to that point, it’s easier to manage and you smile. It’s really quite lovely and rare.
That IMO is the true definition of a cake eater. Having the best in both RL (SO) and in the eWorld that’s not really just eWorld- it’s more. That’s the best slice of chocolate cake ever. Or a gourmet PBJ if that’s your thing.

Anything else is just a Chinese knock off like, well. You know.

 

[parker77]

reiterated

 

[parker77]

oops....

 

[aussiegeekygal]

So....

We try to keep this e-stuff in perspective.
We try to keep it at e-arm’s length.
We try not to get in too e-deep.

But, shit e-happens.

So, what do you do when your e-heart hurts?

My e-heart is never on the table in any context where it could be hurt. That's not to say I don't care of that I'm not venerable. I just exist in the real world, even in e-fantasyland.

 

[Endless_Night]

I find it a little odd how common it is to differentiate between Lit and real life. My e-heart is the same as my real heart, romantic or platonic. If I become attached, really attached, that’s a permanent condition, e or otherwise. I won’t say my feelings couldn’t change, but it’s unlikely.

Of course, I rarely become seriously attached, e or otherwise, so maybe that's the difference. As an introvert who requires much down time, my social capitol is quite limited. People interaction can be extremely tiring.

#lonewolfkitten

< And then you push the heap of e-feelings into an e-garbage bag. >

Okay. I laughed.

 

[JennyNo1]

I pretty much try to leave my e-heart out of things anymore (not that anyone's asking for it nowadays ). The times I was hurt, I tended to get snarky and have a little tantrum, cry a few days and then move on. Really, just about the same as in RL. There've been a couple of times when the hurt has faded and I still have fond feelings, e or "real".

 

[Lord Pmann]

So....

We try to keep this e-stuff in perspective.
We try to keep it at e-arm’s length.
We try not to get in too e-deep.

But, shit e-happens.

So, what do you do when your e-heart hurts?

Did you get e-herpes?!!

 

[Endless_Night]

Does anyone remember when the thread blew up because Chained was thought to have fathered an e-baby?

 

[hotwords229_A]

When these questions pop up I wonder why I’m not human.
I have no e-emotions other than enjoyment, fun and horniness.
The drama, the heartbreak, the hurt feelings—I just don’t seem to have them.
Maybe I’m the alien that Naughty spoke of, or I just manage my e-expectations properly?

I don’t know, but I like the vast majority of you people.