Litiquette VII

[Mrtenant]

Sometimes I don't know means I don't know. Or I don't want to talk about it. Or I have no interest. Or a lot of other things.

I like what you're saying about bandwidth, because just because a person is interested in knowing something, doesn't mean you're able or interested to give that part of you to them. You can't give when you're on empty.

Oh yea, clearly. If you ask me some higher math problem or some directions, then ...I don't know applies. I guess what I was referring to was behavior or when someone says something. My kids used to say I don't know when I question them on something they did or said. I would keep at it as an exercise to help them understand that I don't know when you do know is a problem, if not with me, then with themselves and their own sense of self reflection, courage, and integrity. It was a habit of speech pattern I discouraged from them.

 

[Dribble]

I don't know if "I don't know" fits into that category. What I do know...when I say I don't know...I really don't.

 

[Endless_Night]

I've struggled with that type of stuff for years. Generalized platitudes feel like lying. Which I'm terrible at and makes me feel uncomfortable.

I'm good with, "Thank you for your service," if it seems appropriate to the conversation. But things like, "I'm sorry for your loss," or some variation of "Thoughts and prayers," to people I barely know feels icky, and deeply intrusive to their personal situation.

Yet, if you don't say someone, and it becomes clear the crowd is expecting you to slap down a usual platitude, and you don't, well, that's awful, too.

 

[Endless_Night]

I don't know if "I don't know" fits into that category. What I do know...when I say I don't know...I really don't.

Me too, but I don't think that's the norm.

I think lots of people say that as a substitute for, "I don't want to talk about it," or "I don't have time for this," or "That's my business."

It was a habit of speech pattern I discouraged from them.

That's great! It's a lazy usage that's become socially acceptable, and leads to a fair amount of misunderstanding and conflict. IMO.

 

[parker77]

so, we’ve questioned the sincerity of gratitude and platitudes, i’m assuming attitudes is next.

on another topic, lost items, where the fuck is my other boot sock?

 

[ChainedUp]

so, we’ve questioned the sincerity of gratitude and platitudes, i’m assuming attitudes is next.

on another topic, lost items, where the fuck is my other boot sock?

Next i’ll be covering latitudes, geography geeks, the stage is yours.

 

[ChainedUp]

I promised lattitudes and geography, and I like to keep my word.

When you are have those fun and dirty chats with your favorite online friend, what’s the maximum time zone difference you’ll indulge in. With Lit, the natural lag of the site makes it not quite as important but with sites such as Skype, where immediacy carries a higher currency, do you have time differences that just don’t work. Or will you find a way to make it work if interaction is good?

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

Where there's a will, there's a way.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Agree 100%

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Agree 100%

Thirded

 

[parker77]

time zones...longitudes, but still geography. i hate that i couldn't resist pointing that out.

 

[ChainedUp]

time zones...longitudes, but still geography. i hate that i couldn't resist pointing that out.

This seems like it warrants a citation based on the ‘attitude’ not being in the spirit of things. For this particular citation I’m deputizing @aussiegeekygal to handle the process and report back to the thread not only what the citation was but how it was implemented and what the response was.

 

[ChainedUp]

Now, having dispensed with the administrative duties of the room, it’s Friday and that means a quickie …..

When you’ve lost that luvin’ feeling, is it possible to get it back?

Also, I’ll be away for a few days, I expect any messes to be cleaned up, and that an appropriate chaperone will be present at all times……

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

I guess it depends what made you lose it to begin with.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Now, having dispensed with the administrative duties of the room, it’s Friday and that means a quickie …..

When you’ve lost that luvin’ feeling, is it possible to get it back?

Also, I’ll be away for a few days, I expect any messes to be cleaned up, and that an appropriate chaperone will be present at all times……

I think this is an excellent question oh and who doesn’t love a quickie on a Friday?

I really don’t think it’s possible to get it back, at least I’ve never been able to and I’ve tried a couple of times. I would like to think it is, so I’d love to hear other peoples stories of being able to. I’ve just always found that once something happens, trust is broken, situations change for whatever reason etc. that it seems impossible to get the original magic back. So I guess the lesson I take away is once you find it, hang on to it, nurture it and care for it and do your best not to fuck it up.

 

[EnigmaSquared]

When you’ve lost that luvin’ feeling, is it possible to get it back?

Not for me, no. If I truly love someone, I'll always love them. Even when I recognize that I can't have them in my life because it's unhealthy or complicated or whatever, I'll still love them. Without end. Whereas, if I once had feelings (or believed I did), but those feelings ended, whether killed instantly or withered and faded over time, then they're lost forever, along with any hope or desire to even try to reignite them.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

This seems like it warrants a citation based on the ‘attitude’ not being in the spirit of things. For this particular citation I’m deputizing @aussiegeekygal to handle the process and report back to the thread not only what the citation was but how it was implemented and what the response was.

*Squeals*

**Grabs @parker77 and drags him off with me**

This is gonna be fun

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I've definitely fallen out of like with people who I love.

I'm coming out of a season of deep marital resentment. Hubby and I have had to have some hard conversations and tend to some deep wounds. We didn't mean to, but we lost sight of our relationship with everything going on in life. So we changed our lives. He now stays home with the kids and I get to work and do fun shit (that scares the shit out of me most of the time) and we're in a better place, lovingly, than I think we've ever been. We've figured out how to coparent which has taken a huge enough relief off of me to find the sexy, sweet side I had built for my husband.

I'd say we've recovered from "love lost"

 

[Dribble]

Of course it can be fixed. But it takes two. And I am not sure resentments truly ever disappear. What do I mean? Shit happens. You forgive. But you don't forget. And then the first time something new happens...it comes back full force. So...that too takes two to fix

 

[Endless_Night]

I've definitely fallen out of like with people who I love.

I'm coming out of a season of deep marital resentment. Hubby and I have had to have some hard conversations and tend to some deep wounds. We didn't mean to, but we lost sight of our relationship with everything going on in life. So we changed our lives. He now stays home with the kids and I get to work and do fun shit (that scares the shit out of me most of the time) and we're in a better place, lovingly, than I think we've ever been. We've figured out how to coparent which has taken a huge enough relief off of me to find the sexy, sweet side I had built for my husband.

I'd say we've recovered from "love lost"

I absolutely everything about this post.

 

[Endless_Night]

Of course it can be fixed. But it takes two.

This is my view.

Relationships are fluid by nature. Things change.

Yet many seem unable to cope and grow within that framework. It’s almost more standard to find a new partner or sit in resentment with an old one.

Sad, really. Intrarelationship growth deepens intimacy.

But as Dribble says, it takes two.

 

[ChainedUp]

Hmmm, it was pretty quiet around these parts, apparently it’s not the party house it once was. All for the good, I’m sure there’s other threads that are happy to have the action.

Speaking of action, how many times have you had a dream and then acted upon it? A sexy dream, or a work dream, or a dream that helped answer a question that you’d been mulling over for awhile.

Or are your dreams just dreams, a passing entertainment selection of your nocturnal brain?

 

[Orchidea73]

I'd say we've recovered from "love lost"

Love this.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I absolutely everything about this post.

Love this.

Thanks, ladies.
It's been a hell of a fight, and I'm glad I stuck with it. I'm amidst another (ha!) career transition that is volatile in nature. So much stress. So much unknown. I need him more than ever and I couldn't do this if it weren't for him. He's my freaking rock.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Hmmm, it was pretty quiet around these parts, apparently it’s not the party house it once was. All for the good, I’m sure there’s other threads that are happy to have the action.

Speaking of action, how many times have you had a dream and then acted upon it? A sexy dream, or a work dream, or a dream that helped answer a question that you’d been mulling over for awhile.

Or are your dreams just dreams, a passing entertainment selection of your nocturnal brain?

Hahaha

I once had a dream I cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend. I called him sobbing, all apologetic that I slept with his mate and not only did it mean nothing, I couldn't figure out how it happened.

Because it was a fucking dream...

It was so real and the beginning of a long journey that ultimately led to being institutionalized. I couldn't differentiate what happened in real life and in my dreams.

It's funny to think back on now. That poor bastard!

For the record- I didn't cheat. My brain was fried.