Litiquette VI

[aussiegeekygal]

Are you calling me arrogant?

If that's your takeaway, then yes.

 

[Guyblue82]

You stole my answer

The Dunning-Kruger effect is apparent everywhere.

Did you know it's the most cited scientific study?

There's an easy test between confidence and arrogance for me. I look for humility. When it's there, that person is confident. When it isn't, they're arrogant.

Most cited study...I believe it because everyone thinks they are on the right side of the curve

And humility...100% right there. Empathy too

 

[hotwords229_A]

I agree with what everyone above has said, but I'm pretty confident that my point was more right.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Most cited study...I believe it because everyone thinks they are on the right side of the curve

And humility...100% right there. Empathy too

I've thought a lot about empathy. It's possible to be confident and lack empathy. Humility is the ability to know it's not just you, but empathy is a different beast.

I'm fully capable of being humble and lack empathy at the same time. I guess that puts me further towards the arrogant scale or things, but still on the confident side. I may not be able to fully understand someone else's point of view, but by exercising humility and recognising they have one is what counts.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Most cited study...I believe it because everyone thinks they are on the right side of the curve

It’s like how some 80% of people think they are above average drivers.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I say "I can do anything" all the time and, although I say it with confidence, I also say it with a cheeky arrogance because I know I can't really do anything.

But if the pilots ate the fish instead of the chicken and you need me to fly this plane and land it, then Shirley I can do anything.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

It’s like how some 80% of people think they are above average drivers.

Oh, it's true.

Have you read it? It's an easy read.

The paper is titled
"Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments"

It changed my life! I have a much healthier dose of humility after learning this. And I'm more aware when something may be in my "blind spot", although I nearly always need someone else to help me discover those spots.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I've thought a lot about empathy. It's possible to be confident and lack empathy. Humility is the ability to know it's not just you, but empathy is a different beast.

I'm fully capable of being humble and lack empathy at the same time. I guess that puts me further towards the arrogant scale or things, but still on the confident side. I may not be able to fully understand someone else's point of view, but by exercising humility and recognising they have one is what counts.

That's leadership stuff. I think if you're going to send a squad of soldiers up a hill knowing only half are coming back you need to lack some empathy knowing that this is what needs to happen, but also being humble enough to hate yourself for having to do it

 

[Pervy_Sage]

I've thought a lot about empathy. It's possible to be confident and lack empathy. Humility is the ability to know it's not just you, but empathy is a different beast.

I'm fully capable of being humble and lack empathy at the same time. I guess that puts me further towards the arrogant scale or things, but still on the confident side. I may not be able to fully understand someone else's point of view, but by exercising humility and recognising they have one is what counts.

Well said. Depending on the time, I’m not always confident, but I am always humble and empathic. It’s just my makeup.

 

[parker77]

Confidence = I know what I'm good at, I like that I'm good at it, I know what's best for me, and I try to do it.

Arrogance = I know what you should be good at, I would like it if you were better at it, I know what's best for you, and if you could do it as well as me, you'd be a baller.



See? Confidence.
I'd like to formally retract my arched brow and replace it with a big grin.



See? Arrogance.
He's rubbing it in that he's better at kindergarten calendar math than me, and implying that I should aspire to be as good as him at such endeavors. Which may or may not happen. Depends on if he's offering glittery stickers as motivation.

Kidding.
Really, I think he just wanted an excuse to say "good girl." *arches my other brow*

i would think that i could count on you of all people to know that confidence and arrogance have actual definitions and your definitions are not they.

i'm going to look past that though because your response was so damn clever and cute....and not an entirely inaccurate assessment of the situation.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

i would think that i could count on you of all people to know that confidence and arrogance have actual definitions and your definitions are not they.

i'm going to look past that though because your response was so damn clever and cute....and not an entirely inaccurate assessment of the situation.

Classic Parker.

 

[blade_rocknut]

I Will humbly and somewhat shamefully admit I'm not as empathetic as many people in whom I admire the trait. If I delve too deeply into wearing the shoes of others, I become completely derailed by it; unable to keep my own affairs in order.

But, I think that empathy is a tangential conversation here. While arrogance and empathy seldom coexist, confidence and empathy can exist in most any combination.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Oh, it's true.

Have you read it? It's an easy read.

The paper is titled
"Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments"

It changed my life! I have a much healthier dose of humility after learning this. And I'm more aware when something may be in my "blind spot", although I nearly always need someone else to help me discover those spots.

I did read it some time back. Yes.

My two biggest lessons in humility came from when I was in my early 20s. Probably actually 19 or 20 when one happened and 23 or so when the other happened. I used to be an arrogant ass back then. I’m not the gentle creature you’ve all grown to love today.

1. When I was in college I had to give a presentation about a project I built to my Analog Electronic Circuits 2 class. He asked me a question to which I did not know the answer. I tried to BS my way out of it. Now... what on earth would make my dumb ass think that my 3rd year engineering brain would be able to outsmart a PhD in electrical engineering? The height of arrogance. Anyway, he ripped me a new one. From that point on, I realized I could be okay with the words “I don’t know”.

2 Another one was from a girl. I’ve mentioned this quote before. But she said, “Pmann, you may be smarter than any single person in the room. But you’re not smarter than everyone in the room.” Meaning, brains do not make up for the collective experiences of people. Intelligence is only potential. It isn’t ability in action or life experience.

As a result of those two instances, you have a much more humble pmann before you, today.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

What makes one comment confident and another arrogant?

There’s no one set of sentences, paragraph or pics that screams one is rocking confidence.
Especially here online where stepping into the actor shoes is as easy as brushing your teeth.
There’s no body language or verbal tone to take note of.
It’s the written word coming from someone you know nothing about and to say that one can pin point confidence and arrogance in a few PMs is absurd to me. Soooooo very black and white thinking there.

We become confident by dropping the need to hide our insecurity, understanding authentic vulnerability. That happens with time and trust.
I once thought someone was an arrogant bossy ace. If I stuck with my initial thought, he wouldn’t be part of my life now.

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.”
One of my fav quotes by Alan Watts.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

What makes one comment confident and another arrogant?

There’s no one set of sentences, paragraph or pics that screams one is rocking confidence.
Especially here online where stepping into the actor shoes is as easy as brushing your teeth.
There’s no body language or verbal tone to take note of.
It’s the written word coming from someone you know nothing about and to say that one can pin point confidence and arrogance in a few PMs is absurd to me. Soooooo very black and white thinking there.

We become confident by dropping the need to hide our insecurity, understanding authentic vulnerability. That happens with time and trust.
I once thought someone was an arrogant bossy ace. If I stuck with my initial thought, he wouldn’t be part of my life now.

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.”
One of my fav quotes by Alan Watts.

I love that quote too, Wifey.

 

[LegendaryALT]

This is only true to an extent. Being aware of one’s limitations is key. Just because someone else can or has done something doesn’t mean I can also do that thing.

I think the distinction is that the arrogant person can’t back up their claims. A confident person can. And a confident person knows their skills and accepts them.

And thanks, guyblue82 for stealing my DK Effect example!!! I do love a graph.

ETA: I think that the confident man or woman isn’t bothered by the reactions or approval of others. Their confidence comes from self worth, not from the praise of others.

Only limitations we have, are the ones we put on yourselves. If we don't believe we can achieve, don't consistently put in the hard work, put endless hours towards their goals, then they put limitations on themselves.

If we didn't put in the more time, we don't sacrifice more, haven't trained with more intensity, didn't use the right form, don't believe in ourselves, then we can't do what another did.


There's a man with a missing hand in the NFL

There's a man with no legs, who won a race against other professional sprinters


Most people don't live up to their potential, even if they're successful, there's always a higher plateau we can reach. I am proud how I turned out, surprised a lot of people, but know I've wasted a lot of my potential.

 

[Daisy_Love]

I think there are lots of overlapping qualities in confidence and arrogance. The main differences being the person with confidence has the belief in their abilities, self awareness and empathy for others. They recognise qualities in others and aren’t afraid to share their thoughts and ideas etc.

On the opposite side is the arrogant who has is full of their own importance, an exaggerated belief in themselves, believing no one or only a select few can achieve what they can. They lack empathy for others.

Arrogance for me is a huge turn off whereas confidence is a really attractive quality.

 

[Corbal]

I Will humbly and somewhat shamefully admit I'm not as empathetic as many people in whom I admire the trait. If I delve too deeply into wearing the shoes of others, I become completely derailed by it; unable to keep my own affairs in order.

But, I think that empathy is a tangential conversation here. While arrogance and empathy seldom coexist, confidence and empathy can exist in most any combination.

You rang?

 

[Pervy_Sage]

You rang?

Corbal’s back.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Only limitations we have, are the ones we put on yourselves. If we don't believe we can achieve, don't consistently put in the hard work, put endless hours towards their goals, then they put limitations on themselves.

If we didn't put in the more time, we don't sacrifice more, haven't trained with more intensity, didn't use the right form, don't believe in ourselves, then we can't do what another did.


There's a man with a missing hand in the NFL

There's a man with no legs, who won a race against other professional sprinters


Most people don't live up to their potential, even if they're successful, there's always a higher plateau we can reach. I am proud how I turned out, surprised a lot of people, but know I've wasted a lot of my potential.

I struggle with this way of thinking.

There's tenacity and grit that help us achieve a lot, but anything we put our minds to? I guess I don't buy that.

As a physicist, I'm intrigued with potential, but I know better than to measure it. And I certainly know better than to try to measure up to it.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

I struggle with this way of thinking.

There's tenacity and grit that help us achieve a lot, but anything we put our minds to? I guess I don't buy that.

As a physicist, I'm intrigued with potential, but I know better than to measure it. And I certainly know better than to try to measure up to it.

Same. I could put my mind to becoming a physicist, but I’m not wired in that fashion. And potential...I’ve seen that word ruin many a person after they spent their lives trying to achieve it, then I’ve also seen the inverse.

Why am I even chiming in. I’m not fully awake yet.

 

[Corbal]

Corbal’s back.

I'm never really back, or front. Somewhere in between is more like it.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Same. I could put my mind to becoming a physicist, but I’m not wired in that fashion. And potential...I’ve seen that word ruin many a person after they spent their lives trying to achieve it, then I’ve also seen the inverse.

Why am I even chiming in. I’m not fully awake yet.

You may be a physicist, but it'll definitely take you a hell of a lot more effort to achieve that than I need to expend.

And if that's your life dream, go ahead! But as you say, you're not wired that way.

I encourage people to learn their gifts and lean into them. Why work harder when you can work smarter?

 

[Guyblue82]

Hold on, let me splash some alcohol around and observe the impact on the equation of confidence v arrogance.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Hold on, let me splash some alcohol around and observe the impact on the equation of confidence v arrogance.

Passes you some green, this will make it easier. Pinky swear.