Litiquette V

[ChainedUp]

Nahhhhh, I wouldn't do that to you all

Not just sex, but how much does having to ask for something lessen the value of receiving than if it happened without the request? Some like getting exactly what they've asked for, some would rather not to have to ask, that is should be "known".

If it's sex, and you want something, do you ask or so you just hope it happens. To me, it's like voting, if you don't ask, you can't complain.

Christmas presents, isn't making a list just a higher level of begging? Or if you want that one particular item, will asking ensure you get it?

 

[numeniusa]

Nahhhhh, I wouldn't do that to you all

Not just sex, but how much does having to ask for something lessen the value of receiving than if it happened without the request? Some like getting exactly what they've asked for, some would rather not to have to ask, that is should be "known".

If it's sex, and you want something, do you ask or so you just hope it happens. To me, it's like voting, if you don't ask, you can't complain.

Christmas presents, isn't making a list just a higher level of begging? Or if you want that one particular item, will asking ensure you get it?

Sex: If it's something you want, it's good to ask, I reckon. The asking and the discussion itself can be exciting. On the other hand, when your partner does something you weren't expecting, that you didn't know you wanted, that can be a lovely surprise

And now I've written that, I realise that's pretty much my attitude to Christmas lists too.

 

[Endless_Night]

Generally speaking, if I want something I just ask. As for Christmas, we list. No point getting stuff in which I have no interest. Besides, it makes shopping easier.

Sex? I can be quite inarticulate when it comes to voicing what I want. Darn kink.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I don't do Christmas. I'm not one for gifts. I tend to err on the side of spending time with family and friends instead of the gift exchange. I love buying gifts for others, but I rarely get gifts myself these days.

As for sex, I think communication is quite important. First you have to be honest with yourself, and then you can communicate your preferences to a partner. I'm actually quite timid in the sack when it comes to pillow talk. It's something I have to work on, but my modus operandi is a lack of critique means you're doing just fine.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I'm in the open communication crowd when it comes to sex. If you don't ask, you don't get (or give) what you're looking forward.

That said though, I think part of being a good lover is being attentive to things that are asked or discussed at one point and then stored up for a surprise at a later point. If you pay attention to your partner, you'll have conversations about kinks or twists, and then be able to pull them out of the bag of tricks later for the surprise value.

As for Christmas, since I am older now and since I can basically afford anything I really want, I'm pretty easy to get a gift for. Make me (or buy me) something tasty to snack on and I am covered. A thoughtful card goes a long way. If a person really wants to buy me something or give a gift of a higher value, just asking and I can tell them what I want or need (and then not buy it for myself). Among my circle of friends, the usually means they can pick something off my never-ending list of books or music.

 

[AKentuckyLady]

I'm in the open communication crowd when it comes to sex. If you don't ask, you don't get (or give) what you're looking forward.

That said though, I think part of being a good lover is being attentive to things that are asked or discussed at one point and then stored up for a surprise at a later point. If you pay attention to your partner, you'll have conversations about kinks or twists, and then be able to pull them out of the bag of tricks later for the surprise value.

As for Christmas, since I am older now and since I can basically afford anything I really want, I'm pretty easy to get a gift for. Make me (or buy me) something tasty to snack on and I am covered. A thoughtful card goes a long way. If a person really wants to buy me something or give a gift of a higher value, just asking and I can tell them what I want or need (and then not buy it for myself). Among my circle of friends, the usually means they can pick something off my never-ending list of books or music.

^^ Everything Paul just said. Ditto!

 

[ViciousTease]

Nahhhhh, I wouldn't do that to you all

Not just sex, but how much does having to ask for something lessen the value of receiving than if it happened without the request? Some like getting exactly what they've asked for, some would rather not to have to ask, that is should be "known".

If it's sex, and you want something, do you ask or so you just hope it happens. To me, it's like voting, if you don't ask, you can't complain.

Christmas presents, isn't making a list just a higher level of begging? Or if you want that one particular item, will asking ensure you get it?

Sex: If I want something new or different, I'll ask for it. I expect the same consideration from him. It seems unfair to harbor disappointment if you haven't given your SO an opportunity to give you what you want/need.

Christmas: I make a list, but only because my mother demands it. I'd prefer to receive my favorite pie, a book you're recently read and loved, or a scarf that "looked like something I'd wear". Something spontaneous or silly. It's the thought that counts. However, she demands a list and she gets it. The husband shops from the same list. *shrugs*

 

[Bookishleigh]

Nahhhhh, I wouldn't do that to you all

Not just sex, but how much does having to ask for something lessen the value of receiving than if it happened without the request? Some like getting exactly what they've asked for, some would rather not to have to ask, that is should be "known".

If it's sex, and you want something, do you ask or so you just hope it happens. To me, it's like voting, if you don't ask, you can't complain.

Christmas presents, isn't making a list just a higher level of begging? Or if you want that one particular item, will asking ensure you get it?

This was an awful lot of reading for a question of the day. Obviously there are some aspects of sex that perhaps you should ask/discuss up front but others - well, if I have to ask for it then you don't know me well enough.

 

[LWulf]

This was an awful lot of reading for a question of the day. ...

seconded.

Nahhhhh, I wouldn't do that to you all

I totally believe that ...and believe you're the easter bunny too.

Not just sex, but how much does having to ask for something lessen the value of receiving than if it happened without the request?

That would depend on what was being asked for and how long a relationship it has been; if it has been a long term relationship and what was being asked for was a hug or kiss, then it lessens the value greatly.

Some like getting exactly what they've asked for, some would rather not have to ask, that is should be "known".

This isn't a question but I'll respond to it anyway. That I know of, there hasn't been any discovery of telepathy of the indigenous dominant population of this planet. That said, allow me to quote Wiki:

muscle memory is a form of procedural memory that involves consolidating a specific motor task into memory through repetition.

In this light, a couple that have been in a relationship together for any length of time will seemingly gain a sense of "telepathy" by "reading" the other person's mood or body language and sus out what might be an appropriate response. This simply means that each person reacts in a predictable manner to established actions that have already been done numerous times enough which probably began with one asking the other in some form or method.

However, a couple who are with each other for a short time cannot gain from this without some form of communication being established.

If it's sex, and you want something, do you ask or so you just hope it happens.

If you don't ask, then you didn't really want it that badly.

To me, it's like voting, if you don't ask, you can't complain.

Why do you ask something only to answer it yourself? In this, you are making the question redundant and then draw a line in the sand and challenge people to dare disagree with you.

Christmas presents, isn't making a list just a higher level of begging?

It depends on how old you are and how insistent you are in having the list fulfilled.

Or if you want that one particular item, will asking ensure you get it?

That depends on the person being asked to provide the item and what is being asked for. If the person being asked has it within their ability to provide such an item and their relationship to the person asking is close enough, then it is likely that the person being asked will provide it.
However, if the person asks for a mountain of gold so they might Scrooge McDuck into it, then the asking wouldn't likely ensure anything.

***************************************************************
BONUS RETORT QUESTION:
Is it better to lead by example or expect others to do better than you can do yourself? Let me answer that. *draws a line in the sand*

Laughs, well it's question of the day, singular, so even though I read the entire list, it may have to be banned for nonconformity of the rule. Harsh, I know, but we all need boundaries.
*wags finger*

 

[Suz_anne]

If I want something, I ask for it. Or get it for myself. Which applies to both questions, actually.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I'll second Suz_anne's answer. High five foxy lady!

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Jumps up and down like a crazy lady. I'll come up with a good question for tomorrow.
10 words max, 1-2 syllables, no question in a question or fancy talk AND get this, multiple choice answers.
Now... how can you pass up an offer like that?!
*slaps my own smart ass*

 

[ChainedUp]

Jumps up and down like a crazy lady. I'll come up with a good question for tomorrow.
10 words max, 1-2 syllables, no question in a question or fancy talk AND get this, multiple choice answers.
Now... how can you pass up an offer like that?!
*slaps my own smart ass*

Tosses the keys over to SM. I wonder what I'll do on my day off?

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Yea baby!! Starting to feel Under Pressure.

 

[ChainedUp]

Yea baby!! Starting to feel Under Pressure.

I'm already plotting derailment activities. I need to round up a gang of hooligans to derail with me, who's in?

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Good morning. Nope, no multiple choice question non thinking question this morning.
You can swing this one, I promise.

We all stick pretty close to our comfort zones, makes us feel all safe and cozy. But have you ever tried or done something that you knew would be unpleasant just to experience what it was like? How did you feel afterwards?

 

[ChainedUp]

Good morning. Nope, no multiple choice question non thinking question this morning.
You can swing this one, I promise.

We all stick pretty close to our comfort zones, makes us feel all safe and cozy. But have you ever tried or done something that you knew would be unpleasant just to experience what it was like? How did you feel afterwards?

I've been anxiously awaiting this...

I have undertaken endurance activities that have an unpleasant component, as in hard to achieve. So from that perspective, yes and it always feels good after. Nothing quite like the satisfaction of achievement after suffering.

Stepping out of my comfort zone, yes, I do enjoy that. There's an adrenaline rush that goes along with it. And "it" is really immaterial, it's that rush.

 

[curvyangel1969]

We all stick pretty close to our comfort zones, makes us feel all safe and cozy. But have you ever tried or done something that you knew would be unpleasant just to experience what it was like? How did you feel afterwards?

For me. This one is a big deal. I am terrified of heights. I mean bad to the point of freezing in place at times sheet white. I force myself to do things that are height related. The "before" is so bad it almost makes me Ill. But when I manage to overcome it and face my fear on that score I always feel a sense of achievement and a "Yes!!" Take that heights. Booyah....lol at least until the next height challenge.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I'm all about experiences, some smart and well thought out and others times, well not so much.

I attended a church services in a small southern baptist church. (I'm not Baptist) I was definitely the minority and knew I would be, but wanted to feel what it felt like to be an outsider stepping in and the anxiety it created. It was an awesome experience of fear, but also being accepted and welcomed.
Let's see, I've got more.
Touched an electric fence knowing I'd get shocked. (Stupid)
Dropped acid and went to an outside costume party, in the dark, by a lake. (Yeah, not good.)
Exercised until I threw up, wanted to know how hard and what it felt like to push my body beyond. (I know, gross)
Touched a dead body. (Never again)
Had an family member take me inside a beef packing factory, saw the process from start to finish. (Ugh!)

 

[Paul_Chance]

Well, I've certainly done some unpleasant things over the years, but I can't recall having done them just for the experience - I did them because either I had to do them or because someone had to do them. I'm not sure I would do something unpleasant just for the experience - there are plenty of unpleasant things in life that need to be done, don't see a reason to add more to that pile.

 

[Suz_anne]

I'm kind of with Paul. I don't go out of my way to do unpleasant things. I have a fairly healthy fear of bridges...it's irrational and I don't know where it comes from and I get rather panic-stricken at the thought of going over a bridge. That's an unpleasant feeling that I face on a pretty regular basis, but I don't get a high or a sense of accomplishment when I cross one.

But try to get me on one of these for non-survival reasons? Fuck that.

https://68.media.tumblr.com/f4a3a829d8d45e65ece66dc07cff7d11/tumblr_mo2jdtF4Yq1rbqftlo1_500.jpg

 

[Endless_Night]

I think I’ve mentioned this on the thread before, but I have an irrational fear of heights and of deep water (more what’s in the water ). I loathe being afraid and constantly try to force myself past the fear. Rock climbing (not in a gym), zip lines, tandem skydiving, scuba diving.

Not only do I get no sense of accomplishment when I complete some fresh horror, I am also still afraid.

I’ve touched a dead body, twice. Not nearly as gruesome as shivering in a wet suit while staring into the dark and murky abyss of a limitless ocean while prehistoric sized creatures idle by. Or trying to conquer vertigo while bare fingers and climbing shoe clad toes try to feel out tiny crevices in what appears to be a sheer rock face.

Ugh.

I need a drink.

 

[LWulf]

I don't have any problem tossing care to the wind and trying something that I don't know will be unpleasant, but that isn't the question. I don't mind arduousness but unpleasant is a whole different spectrum, mostly because I don't see "unpleasant" as "mildly unpleasant," but full blown, stomach churning unpleasant.

I don't have a fear of planes. I have in some sense a fear of heights, but being in a plane doesn't make me think of heights. What I have a fear of is a government that thinks it's better to a thousand people to die, than lay off 50,000 people. It's just cold hearted numbers to them. AND they don't want people to fear being in one of the planes they will likely die in, so they don't tell people so people can't make an informed decision.

Any time I board a plane, it's an unpleasant situation. I do it because sometimes I have to do it. I don't feel elated afterwards, but simply fear when they next time that I will have to go through the unpleasantness again. I look at it like a game of Russian Roulette, the more times you play, the higher the chances something will happen.

I have similar issues with going to a doctor's office/hospital and dentists office, more so with those issues, because I've had such horribly appalling treatments while in each and while it isn't a given that a recurring time will be worse, it seems to just go that way.

 

[beachbaby179]

Like Chained, I recently took on an endurance challenge that I KNEW would leave me physically ruined but I did it anyway. Just for the challenge. I was in pain, nauseated and thrilled at my accomplishment all at the same time.

Also, until a few years ago, my idea of a good camping experience would be having a nice view of a stand of trees outside my hotel room window. Then I took my boys camping and rafting in the Grand Canyon for a week. Best vacation ever. Outside my comfort zone? You betcha. Never thought I'd see a scorpion up close, or save a bat from drowning with my bare hands. But now I'd do it again.

 

[ChainedUp]

Damn, this under cover work can spring up at a moment's notice. Apologies for the tardiness. Quick hitter:

For someone you chat with regularly here, either on he boards or in PM, how long does an absence have to be until you start wondering where the person is or what's going?