Literot Christmas Carols

[Purple Haze]

Rubyfruit

Sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree"

O Rubyfruit, O Rubyfruit,
Your mammaries delight us,
O Rubyfruit, O Rubyfruit,
Your luscious boobs entice us,
I want to poke you with my meat,
Your avatars are really neat,
O Rubyfruit, O Rubyfruit,
Your earmuffs are delightful

 

[Freya]

Cute.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Darn it. There's already a song about Purple Haze. But its not really Christmassy. Plus I think the estate of Jimi Hendrix still owns the rights to the lyrics.

 

[Purple Haze]

TWB

Sung to the tune of "We Three Kings"

He's the King of copycat threads,
Twisting 'round what's already said,
Make another, hardly bother,
Thinking up one instead,

Oooooooohhhhhhh,

Buns in photos, buns in sight,
Get a tan, your ass is white,
It's your style, vertical smi-i-i-le,
My, but your buns are tight,

 

[Rubyfruit]

Haze, you're such a freak.

I love it. You should call me and sing it to me on the phone. ;-)

 

[estevie]

*chuckles*


Merry Christmas, Haze!

 

[Monazwx]

I love carolling.

 

[concrete]

sung to SILENT NIGHT

.
April Wine,so so fine.
friend to All,lover of None.
She's so friendly,my Heart it does break.
Why she lives in the frozen up North.
No one Knows why,she really bi-does..
Please Let Her Learn To Give Head...
( refrain )
Please Let Her Learn To Give Head....

 

[concrete]

sung to SANTA CLAUS LANE

here comes TWYSEK.
here comes TWYSEK.
right here there on time..
with that sexey A.V. and,
that southern drawl...
what MAN could Refuse.??
.
Because We Love You .
Don,t abuse US...it's an addiction after All..
.
here comes TWYSEK.
here comes TWYSEK.
.
right where SHE BELONGS

 

[Purple Haze]

WAVE RIDE

Sung to the tune of "Sleigh Ride"

Don't be no gospel spreadin' fan of the Red White'n Blue,
Just gotta say "whatever" when REDWAVE is squawkin' at you,
Don't think your life is heaven when 7 Eleven hires you,
You should boycott McDonald's, 'cause REDWAVE is working there too,

Give it up, give it up, give it up, Hey Joe!
Give Lenin a blow,
We're livin' in Wall Street Land you know,

Live it up, live it up, live it up, it's Grand,
My cock in your hand,
These essays you laboriously type,
Go into Lit's garbage can,

So keep on scream, scream, screamin' when no one's lisnin' to you,
You know that someone's readin' and totally believin' it too,
If we all band together and start a commune or two,
You better buy a suit 'cause the FBI is coming for you,

 

[concrete]

sung to WHITE CHRIRSTMAS

SO Ginney's , photo's Look so nice..
Just like the A.V. she gave me once.
don't blame LOTT or TORTISE for this one...
..
all her gift,s to LIT .
are NICE

 

[Rambling Rose]

PURPLE HAZE IS COMIN' TO TOWN

Sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

Oh, you'd better bend down
You'd better comply
Just get on your knees
I'm tellin' you why

Purple Haze is comin' to town

He's bringin' the lube
And sacks full of toys
Good thing you're a girl
He doesn't dig boys

Purple Haze is comin' to town

He sees you when you're sleepin'
It makes his cock rise high
You roll onto your tummy
And he'll crawl on for a ride

OH!

You'd better not pout
You'd better not cry
Just chew on your lip
And raise your ass high

Purple Haze is comin' to tooooooown!

 

[concrete]

sung to FROSTY THE SNOWMAN

..YAYATI the goof one.
was a very strange pecker indeed.
he fucked his sheep,
he fucked his goats...
but left Momma and Cows Alone..
.
see what happens ,before you speak..
just a thought I'd like say...that
We're all glad we are not aryans...
nor do WE WANT to BE.

 

[teddybear4play]

Good Christ on an acid trip, this is hilarious.

I wish I could think of one.

TB4p

 

[Rambling Rose]

Somebody put a sense of rhythm and iambic pentameter under the tree for concrete this year, okay?

Or a very strong cup of black coffee.

 

[Rambling Rose]

SAGGY BALLS

Sung to the tune of "Silver Bells"

Saggy Balls
Saggy Balls
They slap against swollen clitty

Saggy Balls
Saggy Balls
Soon it will be time to play

In the kitchen
On the table
With my ass lifted high
In the air
I can feel your balls smacking

Hear the wet slap
Grab a wetnap
Good for wiping me clean
Afterwards
I'll be smiling all day

Saggy Balls
Saggy Balls
They slap against swollen clitty

Saggy Balls
Saggy Balls
Soon it will be time to play

 

[Purple Haze]

That was a wonnerful,

I could hear the Ray Connif Singers on that one...

 

[Rambling Rose]

FUCKIN' AROUND THE OLD GB

Sung to the tune of "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree"

Fuckin' around the old GB
Watching friends and putzes play
Some are shit slinging merrily
While some others flirt all day

Fuckin' around the old GB
I can wile the hours away
There are some chores I should get done
But instead I'll stay and say:

If you want fun come and get some
We'll happily provide
If you like fights
On the right nights
We'll come and take you for a ride

Down and up, in and out
Sometimes just blah
I want to see some cock
Also a cat in a cool Christmas hat
That would really
That would really
That would really rock!

 

[REDWAVE]

Haze

To use a "Christmas carol" as a vehicle for attacking someone is mean-spirited in the extreme.

 

[RawHumor]

And racist. Somehow.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

To use a "Christmas carol" as a vehicle for attacking someone is mean-spirited in the extreme.

Is that less or more extreme than your feeling all giddy and pretty inside when the plane hit the World Trade Center?

 

[Problem Child]

Redwave The Cocksucking Commie

You know Castro and Kruschev
And Gorby and Lenin,
Marx, Andropov
And Mao and Stalin.
But do you recall
The most famous commie of all?

Redwave The Cocksucking Commie
Had a very ugly av
And if you ever saw it
It would really make you gag
All of the other posters
Used to laugh and call him names
They always told poor Redwave
Dude, we think that you're insane!

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
The agents came to say
Since you hate the gov so much
Won't you stay a few nights with us?
Then how the agents "quizzed" him
And they shouted out again
"Redwave the cocksucking commie,
you're going down for eight to ten!"

 

[RawHumor]

LMAO

Bravo!

 

[sunstruck]

You know I was scared when PC started singing, but he's got a true gift. lol

 

[Purple Haze]

Have some hot cider and cookies, everybody.

Anybody have a banjo?