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Post a joke. Make me laugh. It can be sexy, it can be a "dad" joke, it can be not pc, IDGAF, but make it decent.

Here is my favorite (maybe) Italian joke.

An Italian workman wants a job on a construction site, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here's your first question,"' the foreman says. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Withouta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?' the boss asks.
"Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine," says the Italian workman.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99!"
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree..."Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99." says the workman.
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian guy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. '"You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?!"
 
A man and a woman are in a car driving along and they're fighting because the husband cheated on her. And the wife gets all mad and in a fit of rage takes out a knife and cuts off her husbands' penis. She throws it out the window, the penis flys back and splats on the windshield of the car behind it and then rolls off. The people in the car, there's a little girl with her Dad and she goes: 'Daddy, what was that?' The Dad knowing what it was tries to cover and goes: 'Oh honey it was just a bug.' And the girl goes: 'Wow, that bug had a huge penis.'
 
@LilKitKat

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
 
LilKitKat said:
Post a joke. Make me laugh. It can be sexy, it can be a "dad" joke, it can be not pc, IDGAF, but make it decent.

Here is my favorite (maybe) Italian joke.

An Italian workman wants a job on a construction site, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here's your first question,"' the foreman says. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Withouta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?' the boss asks.
"Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine," says the Italian workman.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99!"
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree..."Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99." says the workman.
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian guy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. '"You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?!"
Click to expand...
With the way you wrote that, I got half way through the joke and realized I was reading it with an accent 🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
LilKitKat said:
Post a joke. Make me laugh. It can be sexy, it can be a "dad" joke, it can be not pc, IDGAF, but make it decent.


A college girl comes home from school.
Click to expand...
"Mama," she said. "I made $20 today."
"What did you do?" her mama asked.
"This guy said he'd give me $20 if I could climb a tree at school."
"Sweetheart," her mama said. "He just wanted to see up your skirt and look at your panties."
"Jokes on him, mama because I wasn't wearing any," the college girl said.
 
How many elephants fit in a mini?
4, two in the front, two in the back.

How do you fit a giraffe in the fridge?
Open the door, put it in, close the door.

How do you fit and elephant in the fridge?
Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door!

How do you know an elephant has been in the fridge?
There's a footprint in the butter.

How do you know two elephants have been in the fridge?
There's two footprints in the butter.

How do you know three elephants have been in the fridge?
There's three footprints in the butter.

How do you know four elephants have been in the fridge?
There's a mini parked out the front.

How does an elephant hide in a strawberry patch?
Paints it's ears red.

Ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.
See, it works!

How does an elephant hide in an apple tree?
Paints it's balls red.

What's the loudest noise in a forest?
A giraffe eating an apple!
 
LilKitKat said:
Post a joke. Make me laugh. It can be sexy, it can be a "dad" joke, it can be not pc, IDGAF, but make it decent.

Here is my favorite (maybe) Italian joke.

An Italian workman wants a job on a construction site, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here's your first question,"' the foreman says. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Withouta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?' the boss asks.
"Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine," says the Italian workman.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99!"
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree..."Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99." says the workman.
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian guy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. '"You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?!"
Click to expand...
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?


Doyouthinkhesawus

Is bad but still makes me laugh :,)
 
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