Life after divorce...
- Thread starter beansoup
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bullaford
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2005
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- 138
I'm not sure it ever gets normal again, especially if you have kids involved or your ex is a stupid bitch like mine.
I can tell you that it does get better or easier, you become accustomed to being single again, which for me took some time. Some days are easier than others .... still.
What do you have to look forward to? Finding somebody who loves you, loving somebody more than life itself. Nobody bitching at you because you didn't feel like taking out the trash, or because you drank out of the jug, or just being able to look at pretty women without getting bitched at.
Don't know your situation, all I can tell you is from my experience and it has been my experience that even tho I could not stand the bitch, I had days that I wanted her around just because she was "comfortable". In my experience, the longer I was single, the more I realized I truly was a happier person. I wouldn't have met my beautiful (inside and out) wife that I have now.
I can tell you that it does get better or easier, you become accustomed to being single again, which for me took some time. Some days are easier than others .... still.
What do you have to look forward to? Finding somebody who loves you, loving somebody more than life itself. Nobody bitching at you because you didn't feel like taking out the trash, or because you drank out of the jug, or just being able to look at pretty women without getting bitched at.
Don't know your situation, all I can tell you is from my experience and it has been my experience that even tho I could not stand the bitch, I had days that I wanted her around just because she was "comfortable". In my experience, the longer I was single, the more I realized I truly was a happier person. I wouldn't have met my beautiful (inside and out) wife that I have now.
Bandit58
Sir's wonder woman
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2002
- Posts
- 8,121
beansoup said:
Depends who did the leaving I think, the one who was left will naturally take longer to get over it than the one doing the leaving.
I was the one who left. To save my sanity and my health. I lived alone for almost two years and it did me the world of good. I learned to rely on myself a lot more. My self esteem went up. I found out how great sex was with a caring partner. I went out and made friends and socialised. And I met a lovely man on Lit and went to live with him in Australia and have been very happy with him for nearly two years
fgarvb1
We are in for it now.
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- Dec 10, 2000
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I am working on my fourth marriage so I have traveled down that road before a few times.
The truth is it takes some time to get used to being single again.
foe me about six months.
To get a new life cranked up again...That depends on what kind of condition your condition is in!
Starting from absolute ZERO, I have seen people do in in three months although I have reservations about if they have resolved all the issues caused by divorce that soon. I am going to say three months to ten years.
Some people fake it. That will bite you in the ass.
A piece of free advise? Do even think of having a serious relationship for six months after a major break up like that!
The truth is it takes some time to get used to being single again.
foe me about six months.
To get a new life cranked up again...That depends on what kind of condition your condition is in!
Starting from absolute ZERO, I have seen people do in in three months although I have reservations about if they have resolved all the issues caused by divorce that soon. I am going to say three months to ten years.
Some people fake it. That will bite you in the ass.
A piece of free advise? Do even think of having a serious relationship for six months after a major break up like that!
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2005
- Posts
- 29,460
Having been left, while pregnant after being together for ten years, I can safely say it got better as soon as he walked out the door. I cried for a couple of hours then felt infinitely relieved.
I did get into a relationship within a week or two. Now, fifteen years later I can honestly say, I got lucky and we are still very happy.
In spite of the ex doing everything he could to mess us and the baby up until the day he died, we have done great.
For me, when it's over, it's over, I don't miss him, perhaps I miss the dream of what I thought we could have or build but mostly I'm just grateful to be out of it for as long as I am. I'm also kicking myself for not walking much earlier or indeed for getting with him in the first place when I think about it. Thankfully I rarely think about it these days!
Fury
I did get into a relationship within a week or two. Now, fifteen years later I can honestly say, I got lucky and we are still very happy.
In spite of the ex doing everything he could to mess us and the baby up until the day he died, we have done great.
For me, when it's over, it's over, I don't miss him, perhaps I miss the dream of what I thought we could have or build but mostly I'm just grateful to be out of it for as long as I am. I'm also kicking myself for not walking much earlier or indeed for getting with him in the first place when I think about it. Thankfully I rarely think about it these days!
Fury
NaughtyLil1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2004
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- 19,039
It's a grieving process. No matter what lead up to the end result, there is still a history, even more so if you have children. Some pass through unscathed, for others it's a difficult journey.
Just stay focused, etch out a plan of where you are heading, if you haven't already, and try to stay in a positive mindset.
Good luck to you.
Just stay focused, etch out a plan of where you are heading, if you haven't already, and try to stay in a positive mindset.
Good luck to you.
