Letting go takes on a new surprise!

[Guest]

My girlfriend and I went out for 1 1/2 years before breaking up due to many personal problems, mainly stemming from outside influences and her past relationship with another man. In the years that followed she went back to her ex and had his child, before leaving him again due to abuse. Being that we still had love for one another, we decided to give it another try, but once again we broke up due to my inability to give her the commitment she desired on account of the fact I could not cope with the pressures and circumstances that came with her personal life. She is very hurt and still has love for me deeply and hope for us one day again. I told her we were over for good, in the most tactful way I could as breakups are not easy on nobody. I still love and care for her as a friend and do not lead her on with false hope. Problem is she has been friends with my brother for years and now admits to me she is falling for him, and him for her. My brother admits this to be true as well. I'm not angry about this, as I did let her go. I just feel really strange about it all, as does my brother and my ex. I don't want to see my brother hurt if my ex still loves me. I don't want to see her hurt, or myself as this situation could lead to all of us further hurting and not healing. What a twist of events?
Has anyone else experienced a breakup like this? Any advice would be appreciated? I'm ok with my decision of breaking up, but it seems this turn of events has left my brother and ex confused with me in the middle somehow. Where does one go from here???

 

[Stormystarr]

Jerry Springer

No, I'm just kidding. I don't know what else to tell you other than to just try and make the best of it. I have never been in your position, so I really don't know how you feel.

 

[Floating Head]

Stay as far away as possible....

You need to Remove yourself and get as far away from this relationship as possible. These are my reasons:

From what you have described of your ex-girlfriend, it seems that she is not the best judge of what is good for her (evidenced by her ability to return to a boyfriend that would abuse her)

The more you try and help the more you are keeping yourself emotionally tied to this woman.

If they are going to be together then they will. Do not try and break them up. Do not try and help them, other than offering your best wishes if that is how you truly feel. If you are uncomfortable with them being together, then offer your best wishes but then get away from this.

You and your brother are tied together by blood. Now if your brother is not improtant to you, then this may not be an issue. However, if your brother does matter to you then do not do anything to sabotage this relationship. Odds are it will fail on its own accord.

I offer this advice simply because if this relationship fails and you were against it, then your brother and you may have ruined a good relationship between yourselves. If you stay out of the way and it fails then you can be there for your brother when and if he needs you.

This is definately a very difficult situation, but you and your brother have the most to lose. Each other. Take care of that realtionship first, is my advice.

[Edited by Floating Head on 10-17-2000 at 07:42 PM]

 

[Guest]

Thanks for your post Floating Head

This is a very tough situation. But fortunately my brother and I are on good terms and he and I are open-minded to each others advice and opinions.I guess at times like this, our ability to get along is a blessing. Thank you once again Floating Head for your honest advice and time taken to post.Much obliged.