Letters

[jussforfun]

Dear Mr. Verizon Man,
We can hear you so please shut the fuck up, with the "Can You Hear Me Now" shit...........

 

[BellaBloodAngel]

Dear Joe

Do i work with u? You definately know my boss!!

Nicky

Ps hope no one mines me butting in!!!

Dear Nicky,

We like people to butt in. Feel free to drop in and vent any time you like. Welcome to the Playground!

Sincerely,
Bella

 

[Top Cat]

Dear Tim, Joe, whoever else thinks they are hard done by...

I understand your condition and can only offer this help. Try tying a shoelace tightly around the base, this will stop you finishing before you start.

Yours unkindly
Doctor Ruth

 

[charmed1]

Dear Bella,

Sorry I missed you yesterday. Hope everything is well. I really must get with you about those "letters" you have. Hope you saved them! I need a laugh today.

Yours,
Charmed

 

[teasing_tim]

Dear Mother

I did my laundry for the first time yesterday.
Do you remember my red sweather ? It's a bit smaller now and have the same pink colour as my white sheets.

I wonder if i did anything wrong.

Yours
Tim

 

[PCF]

Dear Bella

Thank you for ur warm welcome, i quite like it here it very friendly!!

Love Nicky

 

[teasing_tim]

To all guys at Lit

I assume you have seen Mia's thread that asks for your length and girth. I had only measured the length earlier but got a brilliant idea yesterday when my gf was giving me a bj.

I had the tape measure handy on the table and said "hold it just there" as she had her lips around my head and was licking teasingly with her tongue.

You should have seen her face when i started to wrap the tape around it. I have never seen a girl that has dressed and disappeared as fast as my girlfriend and to be honest i think it is my ex considering the way she shouted when she left.

Yours
Tim

 

[biggbear8]

dear ms maillady

why do you only deliver my bills to me are you keeping and reading allmy love letter, please turn as soon as possible
getting lonely without them

thank you
bear

ps are they really juice

 

[jussforfun]

Internal Revenue Service,
Fresno, Ca

Dear Sir,
Why are you questioning my submitted deductions?
I still feel and will argue in court if neccessary, that simply because I have a medical condition that requires me to ejaculate several times a day, I ought be able to write off the unusual amount of money spent on paper towels as a medical expense!

As to you questioning the value of the vehicle I donated to the Foundation for Sexual Deviants, Firstly I am glad that you recognize such a charity as a legitimate entity, but I am shocked that you are requesting I lower my deduction originally asking $14,000 down to $14.00 -- do you realize what a classic my 1974 Ford truck is! I have to protest that there is indeed a monetary value to loosing your virginity!! if you would have been there, you would understand. Plus I DO think it should be ok for me to deduct the $100.00 spent on the hooker that assisted me in that endeavor.
So in closing please reconsider, and send me the bloody check ASAP. I just ran out of paper towels!
Respectfully Yours,
Joe.

 

[jussforfun]

Dear Lawn Service Technicians,
Could you please resist the urge to mow my next door neighbours lawn at 6 a freakin Clock in the morning on Saturdays?
Kindest Regards,
Sleepy!

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Dear Bella........

On behalf of Bob Bunny I am dropping off some of those most prized Peeps that you wrote about. Being that there are over 101 uses for the beloved Peep, I thought that perhaps you might find yourself in need of one to stop a leaky pipe, or hang a picture.
No need ot thank me Darlin, just doing my service to humanity so that all are well supplied with Peeps thru out the coming year!
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/peep1.jpg
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/bunny1.jpg
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/strawegg1.jpg
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/patriotic1.jpg
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/vday_pink.jpg

-kym- Peep proliferator extraordinaire

 

[BellaBloodAngel]

Re: Dear Bella........

On behalf of Bob Bunny I am dropping off some of those most prized Peeps that you wrote about. Being that there are over 101 uses for the beloved Peep, I thought that perhaps you might find yourself in need of one to stop a leaky pipe, or hang a picture.
No need ot thank me Darlin, just doing my service to humanity so that all are well supplied with Peeps thru out the coming year!
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/peep1.jpg
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/bunny1.jpg
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/strawegg1.jpg
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/patriotic1.jpg
http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/images/about/peeps_all_seasons/vday_pink.jpg

-kym- Peep proliferator extraordinaire

That was SO wrong LMAO

Dear Kym,

However grateful I am that you care about my leaky pipes and picture hanging endeavors, I really must decline those 'peeps' They have caused me stress in the past and I have missed work due to psychiatrist appointments.

*twitching violently while looking at the peeps*
Bella

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Re: Re: Dear Bella........

That was SO wrong LMAO

Dear Kym,

However grateful I am that you care about my leaky pipes and picture hanging endeavors, I really must decline those 'peeps' They have caused me stress in the past and I have missed work due to psychiatrist appointments.

*twitching violently while looking at the peeps*
Bella

OH MY Bella!! Perhaps if You placed a Peep on each eye and took a brief nap, you'd feel better! You know.... they have healing qualities like cucumbers. Make the puffiness around one's eyes disappear. For added benefit, you could pop them into the freezer. Ahhh, nothing like a frozen Peep, placed upon each eye to sooth away any stress!


-kym- Proponent of frozen Peeps for eye relaxation and stress reduction extraordinaire

 

[charmed1]

Dear Bella,

As Bob's attorney, I have been asked to inform you that Bob is not happy about your giving away his peeps to science. He is outraged that you would take those harmless peeps from your children. He does however, like the idea suggested by kym to put them in the freezer. He agrees that they will help with puffiness around the eyes.

Sincerely,
Santa J. Claus,esq.
Attorney at Law

 

[Arwen23]

Dear Arwen23,

You need to get your butt in here and post with us. I wanna introduce you to Charmed. Hope your day has gone well.

Always,
Bella

Dear Bella,


Im sorry it took me soo long to get back to you. I hope you are enjoying your Mothers day. I hope you do. Youve worked 364 days to earn it.


Arwen

 

[charmed1]

Arwen23,

Let me take this opportunity to say Welcome to Lit.! I have heard little about you but, it has all been good. I hope you stay around and enjoy yourself here. Maybe you can keep Bella in check.

Glad to meet you,
Charmed

 

[Arwen23]

Arwen23,

Let me take this opportunity to say Welcome to Lit.! I have heard little about you but, it has all been good. I hope you stay around and enjoy yourself here. Maybe you can keep Bella in check.

Glad to meet you,
Charmed

Charmed,

Thank you for such a warm greeting. Bella has told me youve been a really good friend to her and now I get the opportunity to thank you for it. Happy Mothers day to you as well. Enjoy the day.

Its been a pleasure

Bobby

 

[Native Alien]

Dear Mr. Gates,

May I say what a totally screw up the ME operating system is? You should at least offer everyone who suffers thru regular ME meltdowns a free upgrade to XP.

Thank you for producing such a program to teach all the new techs coming up just what the word frustration really means.

Native Alien.

 

[charmed1]

Charmed,

Thank you for such a warm greeting. Bella has told me youve been a really good friend to her and now I get the opportunity to thank you for it. Happy Mothers day to you as well. Enjoy the day.

Its been a pleasure

Bobby

Bobby,

Being her friend has been a pleasurable experience, to say the least. She has the ability to see the lighter side of things and make me laugh when I thought I couldn't. I hope I can be as good of a friend to her as she has been to me.

Hoping you have a wonderful day,
Charmed

 

[BellaBloodAngel]

Dear Bella,

Sorry I missed you yesterday. Hope everything is well. I really must get with you about those "letters" you have. Hope you saved them! I need a laugh today.

Yours,
Charmed

Dear Charmed,

It's ok, I haven't been on much in the past few days. Don't worry, my letter's will come spilling forth all in good time. My issues don't ever go away. They just lie dormant at times.

Yours truly,
Bella

 

[BellaBloodAngel]

Dear Bella

Thank you for ur warm welcome, i quite like it here it very friendly!!

Love Nicky

Dear Nicky,

It's wonderful that you're enjoying yourself here. Hope to see you post again soon.

Sincerely,
Bella

 

[BellaBloodAngel]

Dear Bella,

As Bob's attorney, I have been asked to inform you that Bob is not happy about your giving away his peeps to science. He is outraged that you would take those harmless peeps from your children. He does however, like the idea suggested by kym to put them in the freezer. He agrees that they will help with puffiness around the eyes.

Sincerely,
Santa J. Claus,esq.
Attorney at Law

* reads this letter then stamps "Return To Sender" on the envelope, reseals it and sends it back *

* But before depositing it into her mailbox, she scribbles a small message on it * "Bite me you jolly old freak"

Hoping Santa chokes on a blasted peep,
Bella

 

[BellaBloodAngel]

Dear Bella,


Im sorry it took me soo long to get back to you. I hope you are enjoying your Mothers day. I hope you do. Youve worked 364 days to earn it.


Bobby

Dear Arwen,

Aww, it doesn't matter how long it took you to get here. It's very good to see you. Thank you and yes, being a mother is an "everyday of the year" kinda thing and worth every minute of it, might I add! *hugss you very tight*

Always,
Bella

 

[wanton wonton]

Dear Baby Man,

aw459ua[ihjg fg a'spr9t8an w[35 a;lskf[a0w

94t5 890745jkdf5&*#\

asdfgaser;o aosdfit7 a4tiu gwe4hnnrhyx

(pant pant pant!!!)

Thank you!
WW

 

[BellaBloodAngel]

Bobby,

Being her friend has been a pleasurable experience, to say the least. She has the ability to see the lighter side of things and make me laugh when I thought I couldn't. I hope I can be as good of a friend to her as she has been to me.

Hoping you have a wonderful day,
Charmed

Dear Charmed,

You and Arwen sure know how to make a girl feel loved. Thank you both SO much for your kind words.

*Blushing a pretty shade of pink*
Bella