Letters

[Arwen23]

Hey Mort,


Whats with the service here. Room service came but they didnt feed me Infact last night they closed my sunroof. Not cool! Im gonna stick it out but I aint recommending you to nobody. Id probrably die if I got decent service today. You had a good first impression, dont screw it up.

Arwen

 

[Arwen23]

Hey Morty,


Still no sandwich yet. Way to go with the flowers though. This is one of the best looking long stem red roses Ive seen in a while. I think Im going to surprise Bella with it when she gets here. I think she will like that. Im still not feeling well, and I can bearly breathe. I really hope you know what your doin

Arwen

 

[Arwen23]

Hey Morty,

Im getting lonely here. That orderly keeps repositioning me. He was even cracking jokes with his buddy just 10ft away. "Hey Keep messing with me and you'll end up like this last guy Arwen. Hes got Ebola or something." HELLO??? Im right here! You must have been scraping the bottom of the barrel when you found these ignorant jokers. Wait till I check out

Here is to the informed

Arwen

 

[Arwen23]

Hey Morty,

This may sound a little strange, but these people think Im dead. While its true Ive taken off the past couple days being sick wasnt good for my job. My supervisors have emailed their SEVERE displeasure in the short notice and way I called out. You know instead of calling them personally. You see we have a few people who call out last minute to catch a ball game, and I think me getting SAR's on one of the many days a week they call out has put a damper on things Also I gotta admit throwing up 5 times and trying to catch your breath every 10 minutes is a bitch. Having a fever of 106 Decontaminating everything you touch to save lives.

What Im trying to say is I only look like death. Ive got to go to work tomorrow. Let me see if I still have a job. Trust me if things go badly you will be the first to know.

On second thought if things go badly, and I cant pay for this. At least make me the mulch overlooking the lake.

Thanks

Arwen

 

[charmed1]

Dear the next person who calls me to say someone else I know has "passed away",

I'm done. I just don't think I can take one more. I got the call about my father-in-law going to the hospital. I made it there in time to speak to him once more. That was as horrible as I thought it would get. The last 3 months have been hell for my husband,his family and myself.
Last week I get a call that someone else I know is dead. He lives so far away and we weren't all that close personally but, his parents are my friends and their pain is my pain.
On Sunday, mom calls to say my cousin's husband has died. She gives no information on why or how. I feel badly.
Now, tonight mom calls again to say that yet another family member has died. I feel worse.
I feel so bad because I live so far from my mom and that side of my family. I don't know. I know I feel terrible about all this. I'm wondering when it will stop. At least I was here with my husband and his family. At least I'm here for someone.
I just am not sure if I can take one more call like that. I need some time to recover a bit. I still haven't dealt with my father-in-law's passing. I've been too busy explaining why Papa isn't coming over to my kids and trying to be some comfort to my husband.
I wish God had PM ability cause I'd sure send him a little message about this.

Sorry for the rant,
Charmed

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Dear Mr./Ms. Telemarketer;
Allow me to personally thank you for ringing me last night after I had fallen asleep. Yes, it was only 8 o'clock when you called, and I realize that most people are still awake and perhaps don't mind your intrusion into their lives. I on the other hand, had to be up at 1 this morning to make it work by 2.
When your call came, I had just slipped into REM and had trouble getting back to sleep. I'd like to say Thank you very much! Its so considerate of you to ring me to try and sell me whatever crappy product you have. If I may ask, could you perhaps give me YOUR home phone number so that I can ring you when I am about to head off to work? I wouldn't mind really and I think it might help you understand my position on this matter.
Thank you again for interupting my much needed sleep. I hope that you receive as much joy as you give to others.

-kym- ~~yawn~~ taking phone out of bedroom

 

[Arwen23]

Dear Bella,

Thank you for the card. I hope that all goes well for you. I will miss you.

Till I see you again

Arwen

 

[Arwen23]

Dear Bella,


Ive been wondering how youve been. You have some Lit PM's waiting for you when you get the chance. I hope your enjoying your new place. Im still kinda sick but otherwise ok. Im seriously contemplating selling my car and getting a beater. A half way decent reliable Honda or Toyota. Im starting to get nervous about my job, yes again, and any extra cash would be a nice cusion. Ill probrably stay in the nice hotel this weekend. I have two free nights I need to burn bye the end of the month. It will save gas and time driving.


Miss you,

Arwen

 

[Jenny _S]

Text of an actual letter I sent

Oregon Public Boadcasting
etc

Thank you for your inquiry concerning the non-payment of Mr. A-----'s continuing pledge. However, as I explained in the previous four letters to you, Mr. A------ is no long with us. He pass away over two years ago. I have it on good authority that Mr. A----- no longer watches Public Boadcasting and has little or no interest in continuing this subsciption. In fact, If he could talk he would be most happy to tell you himself. But, you may understand, he cannot BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING DEAD!!

Now please stop billing the LATE Mr. A------ because there is somewhere between ZERO and NONE chances he will pay you bill.

Respectfully,