Let's Talk About... Kink Shaming

[ydahecnot]

The easy answer is to not visit threads where you know a kink you don’t abide is going to be prevalent, and just hope such a kink discussion doesn’t overrun a general-talk/unrelated thread. Like, there is no reason for someone repulsed by piss play to click on a thread that clearly deals with it.

So, for example, daddy/little girl: if it’s your thing, cool: To me, it’d be so much guesswork, because it seems so topping from the bottom, and trying to find the love-discipline mix the “girl” wants to make it good for her. From a brief try or two at it, I don’t have the skill set to put the work in that way.

Now, I am a switch, so I have no problem with being a guider. But to me, it works better to either be a willing acceptor of guidance, or the no-strings guider

 

[LinusRules]

What value is there in shaming anyone or kink? If there isn't a law against it, let people go about their business. If there is a law against it, then have Lit shut it down. Seems shaming is like masturbation, the only one you're pleasing is yourself.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

The easy answer is to not visit threads where you know a kink you don’t abide is going to be prevalent, and just hope such a kink discussion doesn’t overrun a general-talk/unrelated thread. Like, there is no reason for someone repulsed by piss play to click on a thread that clearly deals with it.

So, for example, daddy/little girl: if it’s your thing, cool: To me, it’d be so much guesswork, because it seems so topping from the bottom, and trying to find the love-discipline mix the “girl” wants to make it good for her. From a brief try or two at it, I don’t have the skill set to put the work in that way.

Now, I am a switch, so I have no problem with being a guider. But to me, it works better to either be a willing acceptor of guidance, or the no-strings guider

Geez,Y.... and here I thought we could make a real go at it...
*cries*
*holds blankie*

 

[ydahecnot]

Well, there was the permission note thing, too

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

In case y'all missed it, and might be interested in joining the conversation:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1507658

 

[Lord Pmann]

In case y'all missed it, and might be interested in joining the conversation:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1507658

That would be great, except no one is there posting. They’re too... responsive to post? (I just learned that’s a more PC word than sensitive) Maybe?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

That would be great, except no one is there posting. They’re too... responsive to post? (I just learned that’s a more PC word than sensitive) Maybe?

I see what you did there.

Go look again.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

In case y'all missed it, and might be interested in joining the conversation:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1507658

Honey, I'll be honest, I'm already familiar with the dynamic. I'm not interested in discussing or explaining or justifying another's choices, or how far they want to take their fantasies.

By way of an example, while at a play event, there was one couple in particular who -in my opinion- were taking the Pimp/ho slave too far. He was , again..only from my perspective, excessively abusive and I had an extremely visceral reaction to get my gun and lay him out...right.. where...he...stood.

Obviously I didn't, but I did make the "moderators" of the party aware of my concerns.

I was told , and I quote, "If you see something you aren't comfortable with, go to the break room and get a cookie "

I didn't like the response, but I got a cookie (who doesn't want free cookies??) and kept an eye on the couple.

Thankfully, I never saw them again.

My takeaway from that was that if I saw the behavior ANYWHERE OTHER THAN IN A CONTROLLED SETTING,
I'd exercise my right to eliminate the threat. However, in the context of the "party," and the consent and waiver forms I had to sign, I had to trust that the Hosts would do their job and handle any real threats.


It's hard to do, so I haven't gone back.

 

[jaF0]

That's probably a big reason why I never have and never will do parties. I'd be too unsure of where the line is. To start, I'd be too withdrawn, passive and not edgy enough. But I could see going over the line and being aggressive if given the chance. So, better I stay away.

Plus, I'd be highly selective and would choose those who would never choose me.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Surprise! I figured, why the hell not? Let's talk about this shit.

*When and where is it okay to kink shame?
*When and where is it just bad form?
*Does it matter what the kink is? Or who you're shaming?
*How does it affect you personally? Your friend group? Your kink community (whether that is Lit, Fet, or wherever you're involved)
*Why not kink shame? Seriously, what's the problem with it? Man, y'all are a bunch of thin-skinned pussies ( )

Add your own questions. Go wild and let's discuss.








**Inspired by Pmann, with thanks for sparking the discussion, even if unintentionally.

Oh good topic, I could seriously write pages in an attempt to answer this, as I have put thought into this. I am actually struggling to answer without pages of thoughts and debates in my head that no one cares about or wants to read.

Ok. Shame away if the kink has a significant possibility of harm.
It is bad form to shame if outside of this.

When in doubt, take a closer look with as unbiased approach as possible, weighing the available evidence in order to determine if that significant possibility is there or not.

So yes, the kink is more important than the who. However, so is the definition of shamimg. Finding something weird or odd, and even saying it, is not shaming.

How it affects me personally? Well, not all that much. Not that I don't get some flack from people sometimes, I do, depending on why, it either amuses me or makes me want to stab them with a rusty spork. Then I move on and don't really care anymore.

 

[Moochienanu]

also why I don’t go to parties... I have heard stories of post party regret that seem pretty much like unwanted rape... scares me too much.

 

[jaF0]

How do we feel about 'living dolls', or 'live mannequins'? Think of the movie 'Mannequin' with Kim Cattrall who plays an inanimate object who can come to life.. There used to be a specialty line of professional models/actors who would do this in department stores ... strike a pose and remain still for extended periods.

In the fantasy/roll play one partner would dress/undress, position, maneuver, fondle, etc. the other partner while 'inanimate'.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

My one time being "the scene" I suffered pretty badly the next few days. My bum was purple from all the bruising and I never got a follow up from the Tops who double teamed me. There was no aftercare at all. The female kissed me and told me how good I had done, and how great a bottom I'd be for someone, and for a few brief moments I felt like I'd fulfilled a purpose, yanno? I mean, I took a real beating that night and could tell they appreciated my "sacrifice ".

But after not hearing anything else from either of them, the feeling of elation quickly dissipated, and I was left with a
hollow, shameful self loathing. A feeling I refuse to entertain again.

I am a creature of service. Sacrifice. Adoration. But nobody gets those things from me for free. You WILL appreciate, protect, and return my adoration. Period.

So, you won't find me trolling for online or casual flings. Imaginary or side piece "friends". I may be a mother bear when it comes to my children, but when it comes to mating..you may call me a she-wolf.

 

[jaF0]

Guess not.

Oh well.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Guess not.

Oh well.

it's interesting that you mentioned the "living mannequin" thing above. I'd never actually seen it until it popped up on Pornhub the other day.
Some chick laying there, dressed like a doll, with a relatively non-descript mask over her face. Kinda reminded me of a fucked up anime mask..

And...

If that's your thing. Have fun. Just seemed a little creepy,
like Demon-possessed-Annabelle creepy.

 

[Lord Pmann]

How do we feel about 'living dolls', or 'live mannequins'? Think of the movie 'Mannequin' with Kim Cattrall who plays an inanimate object who can come to life.. There used to be a specialty line of professional models/actors who would do this in department stores ... strike a pose and remain still for extended periods.

In the fantasy/roll play one partner would dress/undress, position, maneuver, fondle, etc. the other partner while 'inanimate'.

I get this. I don’t really have an issue with it. Is it weird? Yes. Absolutely. But I get it. Not about the inanimate object. But I’ve heard of people doing rapey, consensual things involving drugs and such. That’s dark and all that. I understand the appeal though.

#NotARealRapist

 

[HBergeron]

Surprise! I figured, why the hell not? Let's talk about this shit.

*When and where is it okay to kink shame?
*When and where is it just bad form?
*Does it matter what the kink is? Or who you're shaming?
*How does it affect you personally? Your friend group? Your kink community (whether that is Lit, Fet, or wherever you're involved)
*Why not kink shame? Seriously, what's the problem with it? Man, y'all are a bunch of thin-skinned pussies ( )

Add your own questions. Go wild and let's discuss.








**Inspired by Pmann, with thanks for sparking the discussion, even if unintentionally.

Why in the hell would anyone ever feel the need to 'kink shame'? That reeks of arrogance and a superiority complex.

As long as it's not illegal (and not in reference to those weird 'blue laws' that still exist in some places, where things like anal sex are illegal - I haven't checked, but it's possible that they're on the books somewhere).

If it's really illegal, like anything involving children, then shaming doesn't cut it. Life without parole cuts it, and other methods of dealing with it that are best not mentioned here - they types of recourse that can land one in jail.

If one feels the need to shame someone for even the most disgusting (to me) acts, like piss and shit play, then they are telling me more about themselves than they are are about the people or practices they seek to shame.

If you don't like the kink, and it's not being forced on you (a whole other issue), then don't engage in it, but leave people the fuck alone.

 

[Sh75]

Why in the hell would anyone ever feel the need to 'kink shame'? That reeks of arrogance and a superiority complex.

As long as it's not illegal (and not in reference to those weird 'blue laws' that still exist in some places, where things like anal sex are illegal - I haven't checked, but it's possible that they're on the books somewhere).

If it's really illegal, like anything involving children, then shaming doesn't cut it. Life without parole cuts it, and other methods of dealing with it that are best not mentioned here - they types of recourse that can land one in jail.

If one feels the need to shame someone for even the most disgusting (to me) acts, like piss and shit play, then they are telling me more about themselves than they are are about the people or practices they seek to shame.

If you don't like the kink, and it's not being forced on you (a whole other issue), then don't engage in it, but leave people the fuck alone.

Best post ive seen all day, bravo!!!

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I don't care if you want to slather your crack with peanut butter and have your dog lick you clean, find a woman to wear your dead grandmother's clothes and call you 'grandson' while you fuck her armpit, pay someone to grind a stiletto heel into your scrotum until you rupture a testicle, or dress up like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and have a group of Guatemalan transvestites spray you down with Cheez Whiz. Unless you're my partner, your kinks are none of my fucking business. That said, once you put your kinks out there in a public forum, all bets are off. You've opted to open yourself up to public scrutiny, judgment, and, yes, even potential shaming. If that bothers you, if you can't handle someone attacking you for your kinks, then maybe keep that shit to yourself, only sharing with your lovers, potential lovers, and like-minded people in a safe space. And, newsflash, assholes, the internet - the place where, not only does everyone have an opinion, but they feel obligated to force it upon you whether the fuck you want to hear it or not - is not a safe space.

https://media0.giphy.com/media/1pofg0cTz5mak/source.gif[/QUOTE][/IMG]

What a fantastic read this thread is whole , begging , middle and end.I’m thinking it’s before “ cancel culture “ was actually a thing , but actually deep down it was a thing , but didn’t have a hashtag attached to it......yet