Icy1
Wandering through.
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2014
- Posts
- 17,381
I've been on both sides too. I'm not proud of the times I have done it. But sometimes it is better (and easier) to walk away, than fight a battle you cannot win....
Who is it easier for?
Let's Talk About... 'Ghosting'
- Thread starter Wild_Honey_66
- Start date
Who is it easier for?
J
jmarx20102012
Guest
Sorry I am a bad example.
Don’t follow me. Lost.
Don’t follow me. Lost.
SassySheDevil
Moody Roller Coaster
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2006
- Posts
- 42,925
slightcrazed
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Posts
- 369
Ghosting for me is proof that a person is not who I thought they were. Thankfully I’ve only had it happen twice, but that is because I am very careful about who I let get close to me. If you’re lucky enough to get close enough to where ghosting would hurt, then I am 90% certain that you aren’t the type of person who would do that in the first place. Still, yeah, it sucks, and it makes me even more cautious next time. Sadly, I don’t think it’s a behavior that is going away any time soon.
DarkSimian
RONIN
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2011
- Posts
- 29,487
me, because I wasn't there to be hurt again
them, because they didn't have to look at this ugly mug anymore...
J
jmarx20102012
Guest
Icy1
Wandering through.
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2014
- Posts
- 17,381
It’s probably not that easy either way.
L
lurkingguy1978
Guest
when I have ghosted...it's been confirmation that *I* am not the person *I* thought I was...
Tractorman1066
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2017
- Posts
- 65
I recently ghosted a friend of mine. It hurt me a lot to do it. But I had also made several attempts to talk to them about their behavior towards me. Approached it from a standpoint of explaining I was being hurt and not understanding why they felt okay treating me the way they were. They’d been treating me like a convenience or option, making the friendship very one-sided. What I got was excuses and no accountability. Just empty apologies, because that behavior never changed. It simply got worse. When I found that they’d been lying to me and stringing me along, I blocked all forms of contact with them and walked away. I’m man enough to admit I got emotional about it, because they meant a great deal to me and I had bent over backwards for them. I have no idea if they were hurt by it or if they even have noticed I’m gone by now.
SassySheDevil
Moody Roller Coaster
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2006
- Posts
- 42,925
I suppose that works too.
C
Cyberbella
Guest
This sounds oddly familiar. I too blocked all contact, but I'm sure it never phased him.
J
jmarx20102012
Guest
Works for me. At least temporarily or until I pass out. I guess Pink Floyd said as much in Comfortably Numb. Sorry. I hope nobody takes what I say to heart.
Oh Yoko.
Hope you are well.
Tractorman1066
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2017
- Posts
- 65
This sounds oddly familiar. I too blocked all contact, but I'm sure it never phased him.
Sadly, she did this to me in college and we had a falling out over it. She made the effort to reestablish the friendship almost 10 years later, and after talking about not repeating the mistakes of the past, then did it again to me. I’m all about second chances, but I can’t see giving her a third. So I walked away.
L
LadyJS
Guest
It sounds like they were being more of an asshole as opposed to a friend. Friends don't do shit like that to one another. I wouldn't consider that ghosting someone as defined by the OP; more like you were telling them to fuck off for the way that they treated you.
It's when you think you're hitting it off with someone, and you're feeling good about it and then... nothing. I don't know, maybe I thought that there was more there than they did. It just sucks all over. Well, never again. Not on Lit at least.
C
Cyberbella
Guest
Don't blame you. It gets very tiresome being the last on someone's list so to speak. lol
Tractorman1066
Experienced
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- Nov 7, 2017
- Posts
- 65
Especially when you do everything to try to be first.
C
Cyberbella
Guest
Exactly. Sometimes I just feel it's not worth the effort.
Tractorman1066
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2017
- Posts
- 65
I got to that place with her. Still hard to cut ties when a person means as much as she did to me. Still does, but have to move forward and focus on people that will make the effort in return.
J
jmarx20102012
Guest
People probably think I am an asshole but you gotta have some thick skin kids. Listen to this. Maybe it will help.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9OOJ1gDOSA
So dig your heels in
And grit your teeth
And quit your bitching
You gotta keep it straight
And keep it easy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9OOJ1gDOSA
So dig your heels in
And grit your teeth
And quit your bitching
You gotta keep it straight
And keep it easy
C
Cyberbella
Guest
slightcrazed
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Posts
- 369
This is so true - I simply don’t tolerate it. I don’t chase people, and I sure as hell don’t beg; if they want me in their life, here I am. If not, C’est la vie!
C
Cyberbella
Guest
slightcrazed
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Posts
- 369
Ditto
Truth be told, it took a lot of time for me to adopt that mindset, and being ghosted twice by two people that I really cared about was enough. I just don’t need that in my life. All I’m looking for is someone who’s as crazy as I am, and as crazy about me as I am about them. Boom. Mic drop.
C
Cyberbella
Guest
Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
- Posts
- 50,279
Out of curiosity (and because I'm too lazy to go back and read the thread), how long do you wait before considering yourself ghosted?
Three days? A week? A month?
And how long do you continue trying to make contact before calling off the search?
Three days? A week? A month?
And how long do you continue trying to make contact before calling off the search?
