Let's Talk About... 'Ghosting'

[DarkSimian]

We do that, sometimes. It always shocks the shit outta Lit.

Forget Lit, it shocks the shit outta me

 

[Mr_bogey]

I didn't read this whole thing but my take is be a grown up. I'm on the wrong side of 50. If I can't own my actions and have a conversation than I'm not worthy of anyone's respect.

If someone ghosted me, I'd assume it was about them and not about me --- like they had something to hide/weren't who they said they were.

Ghosting = coward and who wants that?*

*Edited to add, this was one of the <5% of posts here where I failed to be light-hearted or tried to be funny (tried being a key word).

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

I always say goodbye. ALWAYS.

 

[TheOriginalSA]

A while back I left LIT for about 6 months, I only told the people I was closest to. I ghosted the people I was just getting to know, it wasn't meant in a malicious way. I only wanted to be around the ones closest to me and in the process, ghosted some. I apologized and attempted to make amends for my actions.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

When I left here the first time, I think I ghosted people that I was not as close to as others. I felt badly about that. Those people that I was/am close to got a heads-up, and I stayed in contact with them.

I *hate* ghosting. I've searched obituaries for people I care about that just left without a word.

I found one of my friends that way once. She had died the week after our last phone call... but I didn't know until later. I thought she was pissed at me for something.

So no.

Fuck ghosting.

 

[Cyberbella]

I think there's a definite difference in leaving a site as opposed to leading someone on, adding them to Skype, continuing to lead that person on for weeks to months to years and then disappearing. Or in my case... disappearing over and over and over.

 

[Cyberbella]

This.
And I’m fucking sorry.

It happens. I'm just tired of it. It's gone on too long. Six years is a long time.

 

[Eisranac]

I always say goodbye. ALWAYS.

I do too.

For me, it's simply a matter of common courtesy.

I think there's a definite difference in leaving a site as opposed to leading someone on, adding them to Skype, continuing to lead that person on for weeks to months to years and then disappearing. Or in my case... disappearing over and over and over.

That's horrible. No one should have to endure that.

The situation to which I was referring was much more casual and innocuous. I suppose it was due to disinterest, but I know I didn't do anything wrong or overstep any boundaries.

Thank goodness I have others to turn to if I ever need any support.

 

[Cyberbella]

I do too.

For me, it's simply a matter of common courtesy.That's horrible. No one should have to endure that.

The situation to which I was referring was much more casual and innocuous. I suppose it was due to disinterest, but I know I didn't do anything wrong or overstep any boundaries.

Sometimes it's best just to let that go. You'll find someone deserving of your time and efforts. Plenty of people on Lit.

 

[Trixxii]

It happens. I'm just tired of it. It's gone on too long. Six years is a long time.

You need to kick some ass to the curb.

 

[Cyberbella]

You need to kick some ass to the curb.

I'm done. I've made up my mind. People have showed me that no one is THAT busy. The thing with him is he'll come back three months later and pretend nothing has happened. That's the kicker.

 

[Mr_bogey]

I think there's a definite difference in leaving a site as opposed to leading someone on, adding them to Skype, continuing to lead that person on for weeks to months to years and then disappearing. Or in my case... disappearing over and over and over.

Absolutely. Acquaintances are just that. You pop in and out. Maybe you miss one another and maybe their were more feels on one side than the others. Ghosting applies to a relationship, an expectation, something beyond a casual friendship or a quick pic exchange.

 

[KarenB59]

It's kind of like stubbing your toe. Comes out of nowhere. Hurts like crazy. Then you try to forget but you're more careful where you step. At least for awhile

 

[Cyberbella]

It's kind of like stubbing your toe. Comes out of nowhere. Hurts like crazy. Then you try to forget but you're more careful where you step. At least for awhile

Yes... in my case it's made me super guarded and very cautious. It's tough for me to trust people I meet online. This guy was not from Lit. We have spent years communicating and each time he'd disappear there was some lame excuse. There was never an apology though.

Okay I'm done *big sigh*

 

[KarenB59]

Yes... in my case it's made me super guarded and very cautious. It's tough for me to trust people I meet online. This guy was not from Lit. We have spent years communicating and each time he'd disappear there was some lame excuse. There was never an apology though.

Okay I'm done *big sigh*

Nobody deserves that. [[[hugs]]]

 

[Cyberbella]

Nobody deserves that. [[[hugs]]]

Thanks very kind of you!

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

Yes... in my case it's made me super guarded and very cautious. It's tough for me to trust people I meet online. This guy was not from Lit. We have spent years communicating and each time he'd disappear there was some lame excuse. There was never an apology though.

Okay I'm done *big sigh*

You deserve far better.

Enough said.

 

[KinkyLaughs]

Nobody deserves that. [[[hugs]]]

You give Karen's a Good name!!

 

[Cyberbella]

You deserve far better.

Enough said.

Thanks I wholeheartedly agree. I just make it very difficult on anyone who tries to get too close. Okay I’m so done now. *steps off soap box* lol

 

[SassySheDevil]

I'm done. I've made up my mind. People have showed me that no one is THAT busy. The thing with him is he'll come back three months later and pretend nothing has happened. That's the kicker.

This. You always make time for those you care about.

Though I admit, I'm damn good at pushing people away when I'm depressed. I can go for much longer times without reaching out when it gets bad. That being said. There is only 1 person I talk to every day now. (outside of my household)

 

[KarenB59]

You give Karen's a Good name!!

Goals.

 

[lonelyladyfl]

I've been ghosted more times than I care for. I also have done the ghosting on a few occasions and I feel horrible about it. It always happens during a rough mental health period. Isn't funny how your thoughts can sabotage you? I tried to rekindle the connection but it didn't work. The damage was done.