Let's Talk About Belgium!

[Lucifer_Carroll]

I'm surprised that no Douglas Adams fans have hijacked this thread yet. Surely people remember the most offensive word in the universe.

 

[Pure]

On things Belgian,

One area that with remember Belgium as more than a 'place'.

The former 'Belgian Congo.' Quite the hellhole colony in its time, and a charnel house after.

 

[shereads]

I'm surprised that no Douglas Adams fans have hijacked this thread yet. Surely people remember the most offensive word in the universe.

I remember where my towel is, but I don't remember that.

 

[cantdog]

You should hear the French go on about les Belges -- for you Americans, its like the Polish jokes or whatever. Les Belges is always an ethnic joke. They snort and guffaw and nudge each other to hear Belgian (Walloon) French, with its evidently hilarious "octante" in place of "quatre-vingts" and "nonante" in place of "quatre-vingts-dix". Pretty darn laughable, I know.

*urf, urf* Les Belges!!

cantdog

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I remember where my towel is, but I don't remember that.

Ditto.

But I'm not going to panic!

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Don't mind me...

I'm only here because I have a compulsion to vote in every one of Sher's polls.

and

I love belgian waffles.

~lucky

 

[cantdog]

The former Belgian Congo is some of the most valuable real estate on the continent for metals, diamonds, and whatnot, but it is covered by very hostile jungle, mountain-jungle, and swamp-jungle, with African (which is to say, co-evolved) diseases.

The Belgian colonial style was like the French one. The northerners, when they colonized, tended to go there and settle, establish plantations. The mediterraneans and the Belgians wanted rather to sit athwart the major rivers and tax or levy tribute or trade from that place with the colonialized natives, but not to live there. Trader Horn says the Belgians and the French would hire agents to go upriver or into the interior, depending on the colony, and even those agents would be British or German or American or somebody northern who had the idea it was something a civilized person could do.

The Dutch acted like the British and the Germans and the Russians and moved in, as in Sumatra, New Amsterdam, and Surinam. So as regards their colonial adventures, the Belgian style was distinct from the Dutch one.

cantdog

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

"Belgium," said the girl, "I hardly like to say it."
"Belgium?" exclaimed Arthur.
A drunken seven-toed sloth staggered past, gawked at the word and threw itself backward at a blurry-eyed pterodactyl, roaring with displeasure.
"Are we talking about," said Arthur, "about the very flat country, with all the EEC and the fog?"
"What?" said the girl.
"Belgium," said Arthur.
"Raaaaaarrrchchchchch!" screeched the pterodactyl.
"Grrruuuuurrrghhhh," agreed the seven-toed sloth.
"They must be thinking of Ostend Hoverport," muttered Arthur. He turned back to the girl.
"Have you ever been to Belgium in fact?" he asked brightly and she nearly hit him.
"I think," she said, restraining herself, "that you should restrict that sort of remark to something artistic."
"You sound as if I just said something unspeakably rude."
"You did."
In today's modern Galaxy there is of course very little still held to be unspeakable. Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from public society, and in extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is seen to be evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed, and totally un****ed-up personality.
So for instance, when in a recent national speech the Financial Minister of the Royal World Estate of Quarlvista actually dared to say that due to one thing and another and the fact that no one had made any food for a while and the king seemed to have died and most of the population had been on holiday now for over three years, the economy was in what he called "one whole joojooflop situation," everyone was so pleased that he felt able to come out and say it tht they quite failed to note their entire five-thousand-year-old civilization had just collapsed overnight.
But even though words like "joojooflop," "swut," and "turlingdome" are now perfectly acceptable in common usage there is one word that is still beyond the pale. The concept it embodies is so revolting that the publication or broadcast of the word is utterly forbidden in all parts of the Galaxy except for use in Serious Screenplays. There is also, or was, one planet where they didn't know what it meant, the stupid turlingdromes.

-From "Life, the Universe, and Everything" Chapter 21.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

1. There would be no forgiving Brussels sprouts except for Belgium waffles.

2. The B-people screwed things up in the Congo, but they did give up Audrey Hepburn.

3. Sure she was skinny as hell, but to make up for that they gave us Rubens, with both his paintings of fat, naked women and his sandwich.

So Belgium comes out miles ahead, at least of Liechtenstein.

note one: Don't y'all pick on Doc for placing the capital of the Netherlands in Belgium. It proves he either didn't check the internet first of he needs to clean his glasses.

note two: Og, your choices for party ending songs is superb. However, I'd like to add one that may push for a place near the top of your list. I'm referring, of course, to Sgt. Barry Sadler's "The Ballad of the Green Berets."

note three: For way-out geographical put-downs, forget not "Ghostbusters" and the stinging insults hurled at Carpathians.

 

[Raging Whoremoans]

Talk about Belgium?

Let's not and say we did.



~ R W

 

[snooper]

You've all forgotten Egide Walschaerts!

As for Bosch, he lived from 1450 to 1516 which rather pre-dates Lord Melbourne's invention of Belgium as a buffer state (DMZ) between the warring French and Dutch, so how can he be Belgian?

When it comes to avoiding Euro2004, that just shows that the Belgians have good taste.

And now a restaurant recommendation. The best pavé de cheval I have ever tasted was in Le Royale, opposite Schaerbeek station.

 

[Black Tulip]

You've all forgotten Egide Walschaerts!

As for Bosch, he lived from 1450 to 1516 which rather pre-dates Lord Melbourne's invention of Belgium as a buffer state (DMZ) between the warring French and Dutch, so how can he be Belgian?

When it comes to avoiding Euro2004, that just shows that the Belgians have good taste.

And now a restaurant recommendation. The best pavé de cheval I have ever tasted was in Le Royale, opposite Schaerbeek station.

Umm, that would be something with horsemeat. You knew that, I hope?

 

[Bombastico]

As a person whose ancestors came from Belguim I feel overly qualified to join this discussion. First I am not a Belguim-American as I'm sure you were thinking. I am an American first, and then somebody who got told one of his great great grand pappy's or somebody like that came from Belguim second. Now let me set the facts before you as to the greatness and international renown of Belguim. They make a damn good waffle and...........................uh.....................................well................gee...........did I mention they make good waffles ............................................also...........................wow, it was on the tip of my tongue but..................................then I started thinkin about waffles..................................Oh well, I'm gonna go get some waffles but I feel certain that after thinking about it you all agree with me and are in a hurry to run tell all yur friends so I'll let ya go and I'll just step out for a wafffle or two and get back to this later. Please don't panic, remain calm and I will return.

 

[oggbashan]

My real life ancestors came from what is now Belgium. They gave Julius Caesar's legions a bloody nose but had to flee to England when he arrived in person to sort out the mess.

That was in the fifties (BC).

Og

 

[Black Tulip]

Ahhhh Og,

Then you will surely appreciate my NND entry. Should be familiar territory for you. LOL

It's set in the year 69, the time of the Batavian Revolt. Kicking some Roman ass.



My family came from Belgium too, in 1560 or something.

 

[oggbashan]

Ahhhh Og,

Then you will surely appreciate my NND entry. Should be familiar territory for you. LOL

It's set in the year 69, the time of the Batavian Revolt. Kicking some Roman ass.



My family came from Belgium too, in 1560 or something.

Read, appreciated and voted. By that time my ancestors were helping Bouddica kick Roman ass. She destroyed a legion and burnt London - not a bad revenge for for being whipped and having her daughters raped - by the taxmen.

Og

Edited to add:

I was the husband of the great Boadicea
She was a good wife but now - O dear!

I died supported by her passion and love
But I'd hardly call her a peaceful dove

We were civilised, I had a long Roman name
Now my wife is a warrior of international fame

The Romans asked for more taxes - she replied "Go to Hell!"
To persuade her they whipped her, raped her daughters as well

You just don't DO that to our blue-blooded bitches
Queens of the Iceni, horsewomen, post-graduate witches

She's painted with woad, renamed herself Boudicca
Sharpened her weapons, revived the arts of Wicca

She's rallying her armies, adding scythes to her wheels
She'll give the Roman taxmen no doubt how she feels

Ere long she will join me, her witch wisdom knows
But not 'fore she's slaughtered thousands of foes

Our rulers must remember not to over-tax the Brit
Else meet "Death or Glory" mid tons of horse-****.

 

[Black Tulip]

You got to love a girl like that!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

She destroyed a legion and burnt London - not a bad revenge for for being whipped and having her daughters raped - by the taxmen.

You know, some things never change. Here we are, about two thousand years later (how time does fly) and some folks still take exception to getting screwed by the taxman.

Boadicea does appear to have been a fiesty wench, though maybe a tad high-strung. I'd love to see a Monty Python-type sketch with two Roman generals discussing the situation as they watch Boadicea and her army approach.

One says, "She seems a trifle edgy, don't you think?"

The other nods. "It's probably just that time of the month. PMS and all that."

Rumple Foreskin

 

[snooper]

Originally posted by Black Tulip Umm, that would be something with horsemeat. You knew that, I hope?

Even if I hadn't known, the menu has little pictures of cows, horses, sheep, and fish in the appropriate places.

 

[Black Tulip]

Even if I hadn't known, the menu has little pictures of cows, horses, sheep, and fish in the appropriate places.

Oh, of course. I forgot we were talking about Belgium. Little pictures on the menu, huh?
Were there any letters there at all?

 

[cantdog]

I dug "Tacitus Salutem." I don't have enough votes to qualify, last I looked, but there can be no hope for the Lussac story with yours in the running, and Perdita's, and Lucifer's. I would like to get in the door as an also ran, though.

Thank you very much, Ms. Tulip. I tip my bowler.

 

[hotchkiss]

Ogg mentioned, in another thread, the scarcity of famous Belgians. I'm sure he can't be right. It's such a pretty country, and so clean.

I'll bet there are lots and lots of famous Belgians and recent Belgian accomplishments.

This is my salute to Belgium.

















Anyone else?









No?

Apart from thier excellent beers, chocolate, that fictional Policeman and Young Indiana joining the Belgian army the only other thing that springs to mind is the nasty cases of child abductions that have been in the news lately.

Its a Lovely country to Visit just dont take the kids

 

[Somme]

Belgium didn't make it to Euro2004.

Nor did Vanuatu.............<sighs>

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Nor did Vanuatu.............<sighs>

It must have been the French judges. No, wait, that's Olympic figureskating. Sorry. Never mind.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[snooper]

Nor did Vanuatu.............<sighs>

Another place worth visiting then ...