Lesbian?

[Guest]

I am in my early twenties. I am a devoted Christian, raised in a Christian home. My parents are clergy. I truly believe homosexuality is a sin, God’s word says so and therefore so do I. But I can’t shake the lesbian thoughts/feelings that I have been having for awhile. These feelings are so prominent and powerful; I am awake at night thinking about it, afraid to examine my feelings.

I am an artist and almost all of the human subjects I have sketched or painted are female. I have always considered myself a feminist. I have always had an underlying attraction to women, women kick ass! I understand women; to me women are beautiful inside and out. I had a VERY good friend in high school that I was attracted to (maybe in love with) but I didn’t know it until later.

I have had a few relationships with men, one I almost married and he died over a year ago. I don’t think I could ever give myself to another the way I did him. The truth is I don’t really like men, I don’t trust them and most of them intimidate the hell out of me. I don’t automatically think that makes me a lesbian, but given my beliefs I wonder if I should stay single.

If anyone could offer me any insight or any help I would GREATLY appreciate it.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Originally posted by Elaine
I truly believe homosexuality is a sin, God’s word says so and therefore so do I. But I can’t shake the lesbian thoughts/feelings that I have been having for awhile.

Those sentences oppose eachother. You work out which one is more important and you have your answer.

Last time I checked God loves lesbians anyway so I dont think you can really lose.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Sometimes we are brought up to think a certain way... was that certain way just what our parents believe in. As a child we had no chose but to believe what they said as true. You are an adult now and it is your right to live your life how you want.

Do not be afraid to question what your mind tells you. It is okay to take a different path than what you have been brought up with....

If others don't like your thoughts, that is their problem not yours.

As long as you are not breaking a law that would send you to a state jail then do as your heart and soul leads you.

Life is too short not to be at peace with yourself

Hugs

 

[Ayaka]

I saw a thread by Nessus where she said that God loves everyone as didn't She create them? Or something like that, she obviously phrased it much better than I.

That point touched me and made me think. She said a few other things in the way that only she can on men and religion, it touched me.

I'm exhausted so I'm raving. !2 hours straight in ER, I'm a zombie.

 

[Black_Bird]

I am in my early twenties. I am a devoted Christian, raised in a Christian home. My parents are clergy. I truly believe homosexuality is a sin, God’s word says so and therefore so do I. But I can’t shake the lesbian thoughts/feelings that I have been having for awhile. These feelings are so prominent and powerful; I am awake at night thinking about it, afraid to examine my feelings.

Hon... I think your problem is your idea of what is and is not Christian. My best friend came from an athiestic household, but chose Christianity. It wasn't forced on him, it isn't something he was raised to believe, but he found it anyway. A few years after he found Christ... he realized that he had homosexual urges. He's the *most* Christian person I know - he honestly does follow the *spirit* of what Christendom was meant to be.

How can he accept both in his life? While the Bible *does* contain an overwelming amount of wisdom and history - know that God does not fit inbetween those pages. He's much much bigger than that. Instead of consulting a book, or clergy, go to the source yourself. Ask God what is best for you... you might be suprised by the answer. Love, Faith, and Honesty is all that is truely important - the rest are props.

 

[Laurel]

You mention two things: 1) an attraction to women, and 2) a distrust & fear of men. I think you need to figure out where your attraction for women is coming from and how deep it lies.

It's not uncommon for heterosexual women to feel a degree of attraction for other women. However, that doesn't make them gay or even bi. Ask yourself - what is stronger: your dislike/fear of men, or your attraction to women? Is it possible that you're seeking escape in a seemingly "safer" relationship with a woman? Or do women really turn your crank sexually? ALL relationships are complex and sometimes painful - lesbian relationships are no more "safer" than any others.

I don't want to discourage you if you genuinely DO feel more comfortable with women. At the same time, I would discourage you from dating women simply because past experience has left you afraid or distrustful of men. You need to work out whatever insecurities/anxieties you have, then worry about your orientation. Just my $0.02. Good luck in whatever you choose!

 

[xx_La_Reina_xx]

Re: Re: Lesbian?

He's much much bigger then that. Instead of consulting a book, or clergy, go to the source yourself. Ask God what is best for you... you might be suprised by the answer. Love, Faith, and Honesty is all that is truely important - the rest are props.

_________________________

Don't be afraid of what you are...Look at this as an opportunity to reexamine your beliefs...not necessarily change them....just study them...Make sure you are living true to yourself and your faith, and that your beliefs are a direct reflection of what you feel Christianity really is...Do you really think God views homosexuality as a sin?

Just a thought anyway...

*sigh* Reina

 

[Natalie Nessus]

It is common to think I hate the men therefore I am lesbian? It is not so. You are lesbian because you are attracted to women and, perhaps only certain women?

You can not choose who you love, love chooses you

 

[Svedish_Chef]

It is common to think I hate the men therefore I am lesbian? It is not so.

Damn.. now you hate me too?

I need an msn discussion and fast!

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Damn.. now you hate me too?

I need an msn discussion and fast!

No I am distraught

I am wildly depressed

I can not be sane now

 

[Laurel]

It is common to think I hate the men therefore I am lesbian? It is not so. You are lesbian because you are attracted to women and, perhaps only certain women?

You can not choose who you love, love chooses you

Exactly.

 

[Laurel]

No I am distraught

I am wildly depressed

I can not be sane now

 

[Starfish]

God never said that being gay was a sin. Some man said that God said that being gay was a sin. There is a big difference to me in that. Some people forget that God didn't write the Bible.


God loves you, and wants you to be happy. Only in happiness can you do God's work with true benifit.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Laurel, my firend, do not be concerned, i will find a way

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Laurel, my firend, do not be concerned, i will find a way

Come back on as soon as you can cherie...

Or even better... LITCHAT

Tweet you in?

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Come back on as soon as you can cherie...

Or even better... LITCHAT

Tweet you in?

And what is that?

 

[Svedish_Chef]

You know how to find that chat option ont the spinning dial down the bottom... but no matter, you should be able to get back on MSN now.

 

[Guest]

open up and hear the responses.....

Listen to all of these wonderful responses. They all make great points and have something to offer you, to make you think. Your heart knows the answer. Don't be afraid to listen to it. A lifetime of happiness is at stake. Grasp it. Remember, MAN wrote the Bible, and GOD loves everyone.

And Nessus...... .......... I feel your pain my dear.
And I give you whatever strength I have left. You're worth it

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

UR, we went over this in another thread a few days ago, and we went over the various scriptures.

My conclusion as a fundamentalist Christian? The Bible is vague on female homosexuality, and while it is clearer on male homosexuality, I think there are much more serious sins that Christians commit every day - often without even thinking about what they are doing, and usually without asking forgiveness. Sins like having hate and malice towards someone, cheating, theft and so on.

Some have said that all sins are equal, but I have to disagree; while all sins require that we acknowledge them and ask for forgiveness, I would not equate murder with thinking a bead thought about someone.

On the issue of your identifying yourself as a Lesbian. I am not sure you are - simple attraction to women does not make you a Lesbian, especially if you find you can still be attracted sexually to men.

The fact that you understand women and get along with them better is not uncommon. The fact that you had a relationship with a man makes it sound like you can be attracted to men too. That may mean you are bisexual as are a lot of women (and men).

Personally I am neither bisexual or homosexual, so the issue hasn't really come up for me, but I have given it some thought as I am attracted to bisexual women. Like most men, I can understand how a woman would be attracted to another woman - there is a lot there to be attracted to. Many, maybe even most men fantasize about a menage a trois with two bisexual women - so I think you would be able to find men accepting of this, even desiring it as I do.

Whatever you decide, just keep looking. There are men and women out there who will accept you as you are, and some of them are Christians - if that matters.

 

[sexy-girl]

ok i thought about this for a little while ... first off ... only you can know if you're a lesbian ... second off you have to be unafraid of being a lesbian ... if you're going to explore those feelings in your heart you have to be willing to think you might be a lesbian


i am a lesbian myself and its not a huge deal you can carry on living your life and doing normal things ... and i still pray to god sometimes ... so it wouldnt mean giving up your religion either


im not saying you are a lesbian or you arent ... only you will beable to figure that out for yourself ... but like people have been saying dont assume you are a lesbian because at the moment maybe you have a dislike for men


just make sure you live your life for yourself and you do what makes you happy ultimately god i believe wants you to make the best out of your life ... for me making the best out of my life included falling in love with another girl ... and we make eachother both very happy and i think god would be happy with that ... love has to be one of the most beautiful emotions and i think god likes love of any kind male/female or same sex love is the same

 

[alltherage]

I wonder can anyone find a quote in the bible that directly links lesbianism to sin? The quote in livitacus has to do with a man laying with a man as he would with a woman and has more to do with the view of women at the time the book was written than with all homosexual activity. Women were seen as being inferior because we were the ones being penitrated. It was seen as humiliating for a man to allow himself to be penetrated by another woman.

I think the conflict between religious believe and sexuality has driven more people mad than we can count. I believe that god surely can't be that interested in what we do sexually. If she was there would be stronger definitions of who we are sexually engrained in our genes. Homosexuals would not exist. They obviously do.

I consider myself bi-sexual. I am more than strongly attracted to woman and I feel no shame or guilt about that fact. I am lucky. I have many friends who feel guilt everyday about loving who they love. Nothing could be more depressing. At some point along the line these friends where given a false message about right and wrong and the only shame attached to that attaches to the messenger.

It is important to know yourself. Mistakes can be made when we respond to percieved desires spontaniously. All I can say is that if you believe you are a lesbian that thought should be load and clear and never just a whisper. If you are wrong there will be someone who is very hurt by that error.

 

[privy2u]

Hiya:

Okay let me get my credentials out in the open!
I am not a gay male but I know a few.
I am not a lesbial but I know a few.
I am not bi-sexual but I know a few.

As you can see my credentials ain't worth a fuck! But I think two things that I have learned over the years may be appreciated by a few who are having difficulty with who they are.

1) Be true to yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem is lowered.

2)Associate with positive, supportive people. When negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down surround you, your self-esteem is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself in the best possible environment to raise your self-esteem.

Anyway - I'm me - no more, no less - and I never judge others!

privy

 

[EvilBrat74]

I should'nt,but i will this time...

1CORINTHIANS 11

7For a man indeed ought not to cover his head,forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God:but the woman is the glory of the man.
8For the man is not of the woman;but the woman of the man.
9Neither was the man created for the woman;but the woman for the man.

I'm not a saved christian,so it is not right for me to give advice on this.So just take it for what it's worth.
By the way,these are from The Holy Bible.King James version.

 

[EvilBrat74]

My last post was for alltherage.
I didn't get it in there fast enough.

 

[JaymesBlond007]

I hope you're still out there, lurking, Unregistered. People here love to help as much as they love to goof. Now that I've rested for awile, I wanted to respond to your thread and give my .02$, as well.

To know that you're in your early twenties, and are having so much conflict in your life breaks my heart. I almost feel as if you're scared to love at all, and that's a dark cell that no one should ever have to visit. You should be worrying about how you're going to get tickets to your favorite band, or if your putting your thong on sideways, (you know who you are....).

God does not judge those who love, but those who do not love. Those who hurt and hate need to fear the life after our own, whatever that mey be. And when you pass, when you and God cross paths, This is going to be the conversation.

Him/Her: "Hello"
You: "Hi, God."

Him/Her: "How was your life, child?"
You: (Insert rant here.)

Him/Her: "I understand. I'm working on that."
(touching your cheek) "Do you love your people?"
You: "All except for little Billy Butthead who put gum in my hair in the third-grade"

Him: (laughing) "Yes, child I saw that.
Do you love me?"
You: "Of course, God."

Him: (gazing deeply in to your soul) "Do you love yourself, child?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is where it's all up to you. Don't second guess what God has in-store for us.

Men, as well as women, all have faults. It's not my place to sit here and try and tell you why you should, or should not like either gender, but I want to encourage you to try and trust just a little more. Every relationship, be it just friends, or intimate lovers, has the potential to explode and hurt people. It's just one of life's unfair little games.

Love women, and tolerate men. But try not to chalk up past experiences to [Men=Bad]. One day a man might become one of your best friends, but you'll have to trust him first.

Anyway...I'll cease with my incoherent, and let someone else speak for awhile.

"The basic and essential human...is the woman."
-Orson Welles