Lesbian Having Sex With a Man (or Vice-Versa)

[Jdeau]

I'd be interesting in hearing from any lesbians who, for whatever reason, wound up having sex with a man at least ones - and vice-versa.

What was the circumstances? What was the experience like for you?

I have one gay male friend who had sex with a woman once and described it as "repulsive." I myself had one experience with a man that wasn't altogether unpleasant - but I can't say it did much for me (even though he was a good friend of mine).

I'm wondering because the lesbian main character in one of my stories winds up marrying a man - and eventually has a child by him. I'm not exactly certain how to approach it.

 

[ZoZa]

What was the circumstances? What was the experience like for you?

I have one gay male friend who had sex with a woman once and described it as "repulsive."

That sounds about how I would feel. I've never made love to a man. I find the idea, when I imagine how it would be... Yucky is a good word.

One thing I've learned though is that there is a spectrum at work here. On one end you have folks like me and your friend there who find the thought of het really nasty. and on the other you have actual bisexuals.

In he middle there really are lots of people who really are completely gay, but aren't actually squicked out by the thought of being with the opposite sex, they just have no attraction either (and a lot of attraction to their on sex).

Where on this spectrum does your character lie?

Also, I'm curious about how your friend came to be sleeping with a woman if her feels that way? I can only imagine (or try not to) what it'd take before I voluntarily make love to a man.

 

[gabriel16]

Hi all - on lesbian having sex with a man

Hi all

I didnt' read through all of how this got started, but a couple experiences related to this topic.

I've met a lesbian who, for whatever reason, once in a while, liked having a guy spank her as she lays on her tummy while she reaches under to play with her pussy till she cums.

Also, I knew a couple - one a 19 yr old lesbian who'd never been with a guy, and the other a 30's divorced female, for whom her young love was her first woman. They loved having phone sex with a distant guy. The 19 yr old loved talking about and thinking about what a cock would be like. The 30's partner loved being eaten by her 19 yr old while talking with the guy. And other permutations.

And I've been invited into sexual situations by more than one lesbian. (I'm a guy).

G

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I've been out for over ten years. Mind you, when I first came out, I came out as bisexual (a big fat lie), mainly because I thought it would be better received by my high school than coming out as a lesbian, but partially because I thought I might still like guys.

After I graduated and moved away five or six years later, some particular people in my life told me they didn't believe I was a lesbian, that I seemed bisexual, and in a fit of frustration, one of my friends told me in so many words to just have sex with a guy. I was hurt, but I also was dealing with a lot mentally and emotionally, so I felt like I should do what she was telling me to do because she was telling me to do it.

They guy I had sex with was a mostly decent guy, but every time we had sex, I felt like I was playing a role. I made all the right sounds, did all the right stuff, but I was sort of looking at the ceiling or out the window and zoning out. I refused to touch his dick or give him a blow job, and I wouldn't let his mouth down near my cunt. We had good conversation, but it was like an arrangement of convenience. It stopped when I found out he was cheating on his woman...with me.

I never stopped being a lesbian. It pretty much confirmed what I already knew about myself but ignored because everyone else thought otherwise. Pathetic, right?

 

[Dyslexicea]

Following are my experiences having sex with men. It's a small part of a much larger a peace I wrote. By the way Diane is my given name. This is the only part in that peace where I referred to myself in the third person, which may or may not be relevant, the mind does work in strange ways.

I'm going to cover my experience with boys. Rather cutely I think.

At least it explained why Diane didn't feel goo goo gaa gaa about boys. Yes she dated boys, boys had cars she was a freshmen/sophomore attending an all girls private school which meant her friends were more boy crazy than most and none of them were old enough to drive. But there was an all boys prep school really close by, an endless supply of boys old enough to drive and they had cars.

The problem was Diane couldn't figure out why she liked the cars better than the boys. To top that off she was easy, hey guys ya want a hot date with a chick who'll let ya play touchy feely, just ask out Diane. Touchy feely went to hand in the panties. Hand in the panties went to Diane getting nakee. Diane getting nakee went to boy asking Diane if he could put his tool in her garage. Diane thinking maybe she'll feel something for boy if he puts that cocky of his inside her.

Talk about feeling something, yea like major pain for about 40 seconds until he went squirt, squirt, squirt. Not to mention the panties she threw in the garbage with blood and semen stains. Diane should have figured something was wrong when her panties meant more than her virginity. No fireworks tat all, instead of Diane thinking something just isn't right, "I don't like boys but I like their cars, I don't really get off much letting boys play around with my erogenous zones and I have these massive crushes on some of my girl friends".

Nope Diane doesn't do the smart thing she just calls in the reserves, next boy. Of course Diane gets smarter, no more premature ejaculators. Yeppers Diane was smart, she knew some men couldn't hold on to their loads. New tactic, hold cocky in hand move hand up and down, faster as time passes. Not that she hadn't been doing that she just hadn't put two and two together, admittedly she could be rather slow at times. Add put cocky in mouth, give head, actually Diane thinks she was pretty good at it too. After a few new recruits, a few more then Diane cares to count, Diane thinks Ok this guys going to give her fireworks. He was nice, he was sweet, yes she liked him BUT. So again Diane lets boy put his tool in her garage, with condom this time, no more worrying she may be preggers. No pain, Good. Last longer, Good. Got fireworks, NO not good.

Next move, Diane is seduced by Sarah. Sarah makes Diane go OH MY GOD then a lot of OH GODs, OH GODs. Diane loves Sarah. Diane loves those BIG O's Sarah gives her. Sarah leave Diane. Diane feels badly hurt. Diane is not yet very smart but she's learning.

Diane again finds boy, no not a boy a man he was nineteen, at nineteen he was more man than the preppy boys she'd dated. Timothy Michael was tall, well built, sandy blonde hair, clear blue eyes, not just handsome, he was beautiful, his smile was infectious, he could easily make her laugh. She loved standing on her tippy toes placing a kiss on his sweet lips, a treat that's rare in her life. Her Father would not have approved nor her Mother, he was a mere stable boy caring for their horses. But if ever there was a man she could fall in love with, Timothy was that man.

Diane plays around finds Timothy lasts a lot longer. Timothy goes down on Diane, feels nice but no big O's, a few little ones. Diane thinks OK let Timothy stick his somewhat bigger cocky in her little cunty. Man last a lot longer, feels really nice, orgasms NO, fireworks, NO. Diane gets smart drops her I'm not a Lesbian Boyfriend. Rest of story coming soon to a theater near you.

Not that what I wrote is exactly accurate, but as far as sexual intercourse I did so with two boys, one man, with Timothy quite a few times. I can't say I find a man's cock offensive, actually they are kind of intriguing, along with those little balls. As far as giving head goes, I found doing so to be the most sexually stimulating part of sex with a man. I suppose if I was a hetro or bi girl and married my husband would be walking around with a smile on his face all the time. Even I have to admit I'm one strange ducky, a lesbian who enjoyed given head.

I went on to write about my struggles with my sexuality. About my coming out which did not go well. About my Mother's acceptance, my Father's rejection. My twin Sister's rejection which nearly killed me, or shell we say my failed suicide, thank god I failed.

As for what you really want to know did I enjoy sex with men. I can't say there was any joy, some emotions but never the right emotions. Pleasurable I'd have to admit that at times it was pleasurable. But it lacked the intensity of what makes a woman love and want sex.

For me sex is not just about the physical, it's all those emotions that are part of having sex. It doesn't matter if it's a hook-up or in a relationship for me sex is a very emotional experience, even a quickie, yes guys we do at times have quickies. It's also bonding, I may never see her again but I've bonded at least for a time with her.

 

[haurni]

Pretty much any rationale you can think of will probably apply to somebody. The question is, will it be generally applicable (reasonable) or totally off the wall? Unless you can come up with a reasonable explanation for why your character does what she does (i.e. something that is believable to many women/lesbians) then what you're writing is more of a male fantasy about lesbians than anything else.

If your character is a lesbian, then she is aroused by and/or attracted to women rather more than by/to men. However, she may end up with a man out of curiosity (see Dyslexicea's post), peer pressure (see Trinique_Fire's post), because it's more socially acceptable (maybe she's in the closet), because she hasn't really figured out her true sexuality and/or because she isn't really a lesbian but identifies as one for some reason. I've encountered examples of all of the above on this board or in real life. I think the most 'reasonable' would be the woman who marries a man and has a child because it's expected of her socially (she may or may not be aware or accepting of her attraction to women at that point) but then eventually realizes that she does in fact prefer women (with possible consequences to the marriage). To have an avowed/aware lesbian deliberately marry a man would be less plausible unless they live somewhere that she'd be socially ostracized otherwise (gay men have married women for similar reasons); her husband may or may not know of her true feelings. A story about a 'lesbian' who really prefers cock and just needed a man to teach her that will get you justifiably flamed.

 

[MatthewVett]

I was once a lesbian's straight-curious experience. We only went as far as a handjob, though.

 

[bcassidy123]

I get confused when someone identifies themselves as transgender lesbian. But then, I am just a guy who gets confused a lot.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I get confused when someone identifies themselves as transgender lesbian. But then, I am just a guy who gets confused a lot.

That would be somebody who was born with 'male' physical characteristics, but perceives themselves as a woman, and is attracted to other women.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Gender is one aspect of a person-- where they feel they fall on the continuum between male and female.

Sexuality is another aspect-- which sex or combination of sexes a person prefers, which genders they are attracted to, how big the titties have to be, all that stuff-- a whole bunch more continuums. NONE of which need to be attached to any other.

Orthogonal, my new favorite word

 

[Jdeau]

Thanks

Thank you for all the thoughtful replies.

Bottom line: the character in my story wants a baby - but at the time (early 1930s) there's only one way to get that. No such thing as in-vitro.

She loves the guy, just not in a sexual way.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Thank you for all the thoughtful replies.

Bottom line: the character in my story wants a baby - but at the time (early 1930s) there's only one way to get that. No such thing as in-vitro.

Nitpick: The first recorded successful case of artificial insemination in humans was in 1884. It probably wasn't common in the 1930s, but it's hard to tell, because it's the sort of thing people tended to do on the hush-hush - not least because one of the common reasons for infertility was a history of sexually-transmitted disease.

More here (story is rather creepy): http://familyscholars.org/2011/02/17/4579/

IVF is one specialised form of artificial insemination, but not the oldest or the simplest.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thank you for all the thoughtful replies.

Bottom line: the character in my story wants a baby - but at the time (early 1930s) there's only one way to get that. No such thing as in-vitro.

She loves the guy, just not in a sexual way.

Well, hmm. Okay. Assuming she is kinda resigned to having sex with him, and she does like the guy? Its doubtful that either of them are going to be thinking of fancy ways to fuck-- missionary pretty much is all a lesbian would expect-- and she would be aware of his weight, how hard he's working, the discomfort of having anything larger than a finger inside her pussy. If she's got some experience of her own, she might be able to shift around to get some pleasure out of the whole affair, but mostly it will just seem strange to her. After he's come and he's panting and smiling, -- she might think it's all rather endearing-- which might be a bit of a surprise to her.

A few days later she will notice that her pussy smells different, because the semen changes the chemistry.

The next time she ovulates, though-- she might enjoy herself a lot more. ovulation can make a woman very horny.

 

[brw02]

hmmmmmmm.

 

[rockslyde]

Not exactly on topic but,...

There is a butch lesbian in my town that is on AFF. She did'nt post a face pic (don't blame her), but she's in her mid 40's and looking for some hard cock. She apologizes for her butch looks, but I looked at the pic of her tits...... they look really good. I sent her a compliment, Hope she finds what she's looking for.
Anyway, it's very unusual to see such a thing. It's the first time I've ever seen something like that.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've been only with women for more than a year now. Last week I met up with my ex for a booty call-- it felt very strange to have a dick in my pussy. it just went in and out, yanno? He didn't go slow, wait for me to let it in... Not that he ever had to do that stuff for me before, but I have gotten used to more forethought.

Women put a lot of effort into making sure each other gets satisfied, for him it was more about feeling close to me, I think-- and him getting off and assuming that I was getting off too.

And carefully not asking to be sure.

Taking notes, dudes?

 

[TheLM]

I've been only with women for more than a year now. Last week I met up with my ex for a booty call-- it felt very strange to have a dick in my pussy. it just went in and out, yanno? He didn't go slow, wait for me to let it in... Not that he ever had to do that stuff for me before, but I have gotten used to more forethought.

Women put a lot of effort into making sure each other gets satisfied, for him it was more about feeling close to me, I think-- and him getting off and assuming that I was getting off too.

And carefully not asking to be sure.

Taking notes, dudes?

I could say all the same things about sexual experiences with women.

Perhaps the women should take notes as well.

 

[curiousGee1]

I once was lucky enough to hook up with a friend that was a lesbian. It was awesome. We went to a strip club to have drinks and went back to her place after. We had already talked about her interest in me prior to going out so it was a for sure thing once we got back to her place. First time i ever had a girl squirt on me, It was Amazing!

 

[Dyslexicea]

I once was lucky enough to hook up with a friend that was a lesbian. It was awesome. We went to a strip club to have drinks and went back to her place after. We had already talked about her interest in me prior to going out so it was a for sure thing once we got back to her place. First time i ever had a girl squirt on me, It was Amazing!

She wasn't a lesbian, she was bi. You're

 

[Dyslexicea]

I could say all the same things about sexual experiences with women.

Perhaps the women should take notes as well.

And your attitude is exactly why so many women would just as soon cuddle as have sex with their man. Thank god I have no need, nor desire, for you creatures with that extra appendage hanging between your legs. Sometimes I think that little thingy must effect your hearing, for you surely don't listen, or is it you just think you know it all?

It's a wonder there are any hetero girls left in this world. I left the gate open girls your welcome on our side of the fence. We love to make sure we both get ours, no more he get his and your left using your fingers.

 

[Stella_Omega]

She wasn't a lesbian, she was bi. You're

A lot of women identify as lesbian, but do have sex with men once in a while. I call 'em "homoflexible." because they really are not bisexual enough to notice. But their primary identity is lesbian.

I could say all the same things about sexual experiences with women.

Perhaps the women should take notes as well.

In your experience, women climb on, get off, and assume you did too? I don't doubt you here, just-- seems unusual, is all.

 

[Dyslexicea]

And your attitude is exactly why so many women would just as soon cuddle as have sex with their man. Thank god I have no need, nor desire, for you creatures with that extra appendage hanging between your legs. Sometimes I think that little thingy must effect your hearing, for you surely don't listen, or is it you just think you know it all?

It's a wonder there are any hetero girls left in this world. I left the gate open girls your welcome on our side of the fence. We love to make sure we both get ours, no more he get his and your left using your fingers.

Strange when you have to quote yourself isn't it. What the hell, I talk to myself so I suppose I can quote myself also. Maybe even stranger is my inside self addresses me by my name.

Anyway I think I came off as a man hating lesbian, I assure you I'm not. I didn't want to imply that all men are bad lovers, so if you took it that way I apologize. But I do have to say that the majority of women I've known who happen to be with a man don't seem to have a very satisfying sex life. So I think Stella's advice is valid, if you want a good sex life with your lady she's has to be at least as satisfied as you are. Which means she gets her orgasm just like you always get yours.

I think more satisfied because we are so much more capable of sexual pleasure than you men are. One orgasms for her should never be your goal she can and should have many. Sorry guys but that is a fact!

Not to discount the rest of love making because for most of us women good love making involves much more than just orgasms. It involves so much more of our bodies than just our sexual organs.

 

[Dyslexicea]

A lot of women identify as lesbian, but do have sex with men once in a while. I call 'em "homoflexible." because they really are not bisexual enough to notice. But their primary identity is lesbian.

Actually Stella I have known a few lesbians who occasionally enjoy a man. Myself I find that at times I can be attracted to certain men, they don't have to be hot either, although they do have to be fit, they have to have 'The Voice' sensual perhaps is the word.

I can at times get a little tingle but never enough to want to throw them to the floor and have my way with them. Now wouldn't that make headlines 'Lesbian rapes man on bar room floor'.

I still consider these women lesbians, their minds are lesbian, their hearts are lesbian and their really meaningful relationships are with other women.

 

[curiousGee1]

She wasn't a lesbian, she was bi. You're

Well i guess she was lesbian until our encounter. but now she is bi as she has went on to try another guy and likes it. She claims that women have too much baggage and emotions as to where with a man it could just be sex and no emotions after.

 

[none2_none2]

...But I do have to say that the majority of women I've known who happen to be with a man don't seem to have a very satisfying sex life. So I think Stella's advice is valid, if you want a good sex life with your lady she's has to be at least as satisfied as you are. Which means she gets her orgasm just like you always get yours.

Granted, I don't have any understanding of female orgasm. However, from my years of experience with males, I find that men are not all alike. When I was younger I had a better ability to have sex multiple times and to be able to control the speed and duration, I could speed up the time to orgasm or delay it depending on the partner. If the other man needed me inside him a long time, fine. If he needed me to hurry up, fine. Some wanted me to masturbate them while I was inside. Others didn't want me to touch their dicks at all while I was inside. Some men appreciate being kissed while being fucked. Others are turned off by it as it might make the act too "fem" for their tastes. Seriously, it ran the whole spectrum. (That is why I think it is a hoot how some men claim that gay male sex is better for men because we always automatically know what a fellow man wants... Bull! We have to TALK to each other and pay attention to responses that we experience from the other person (breathing, eyes, facial expression, etc.) Unfortunately, with age and whatever, I don't have the same sexual/athletic menu options to offer during sex, but I still try to pay attention to signs and see what I can still do.

Anyway, with my partner of almost 10 years, I just cannot get him off in the traditional sense of ejaculation. He loves me inside of him. He also tends to like it faster/rougher than is my nature. I personally think of being inside someone as a boat ride down a river -- not pounding the pavement with a jack-hammer. Nevertheless, I'm there to accommodate, so I speed up when requested... Anyway, if I were grading my sexual skills based on orgasms I give him, I'd probably get an F. However, he tells me that he enjoys me inside him. In fact it shocks me how most of the time he won't even touch himself while I'm thrusting nor want me to touch him either. (Note: many years ago I was with a man who could have internal orgasms. You could sense them. I don't sense that with my partner.) Note, I think some of his problems may be due to his bypass surgery 3 years ago...

My point to all this is not to gross out the lesbians reading this, but to point out that at some level you cannot lump people all together even if they share the same plumbing. Thus if I were free and thinking about having sex with a woman, I wouldn't base my performance on an orgasm count as much as just having a good time together. Maybe it would be shampooing her hair. Maybe it would be rubbing her feet or painting her toenails. (Ooops, sorry that sounds way too like a gay man making love to Barbie.) Maybe she would want me to just fuck her and skip foreplay, but whatever we do I wouldn't make assumptions. I would think that the other human being (male or female) would more likely appreciate my interest in them than trying to pull some gender manual out of a glove compartment and expecting some step by step directions to guarantee a good time.

Oh, and as for gross factor, I seriously cannot believe that anybody could be grossed out by het sex. Isn't homosexuality about same sex attraction, not opposite sex disgust? Would someone claim that they pet their dog because they despise petting cats?

If a gay man was saying he was grossed out by str8 sex, I would think he was protesting a bit too much to make a statement. Granted, I suppose if a woman were to bleed, I might freak out. Not because blood is gross, but because I would fear that I had hurt her in some way.