Leave the Whine outside

[Rosebud]

great one liners


Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.

Everybody repeat after me..."We are all individuals."

Chastity is curable, if detected early.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A good pun is its own reword.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

 

[Chuckus]

LOL Rosebud............here's a coupla more for ya....

Why do they call it a driveway, when you park your car there?

Why do they call it a parkway, when you drive on it?

 

[Nogard]

cargo goes by ship but a shipment goes by truck

 

[BrainyBeauty]

Why ask why?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery!"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips after you use it?

Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is what doctors do called "practice"?

Why is it rain drops, but snow falls?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?